Monday, October 12, 2009

The Perfect Combo

perfect combo

previous post: Gene-ius



  1. I must have his name. I be sexy and ave a nice arse, so I should contact him.

  2. i is nice, too

  3. Twat.

  4. I wish I could find a girl that doesn’t talk too much, but can hold a conversation when I feel like it.

    How do you tell a girl “I only want you to speak, when spoken to.”

    Oh wait, he has shown me the light.

  5. what a twat

  6. is this guy for real

  7. flash_in_the_ pan

    This kind of begs the question, if he is all that why is he on Facebook looking for ‘a sexy lady’?

  8. the fact that he’s flipping off the camera is so hilariously awesome.

  9. “so u only got 1 chance to impress me”. Oh ok then, i’ll get right on it.

  10. what an idiot.

  11. What. An. Ass.

  12. @ flash_in_the_ pan #7 – Maybe he’s hoping his communication skills (or lack thereof) will somehow be more effective in print than they are in person.

  13. So rare a combination, in fact, that he keeps his intelligence in the original blister pack container it came in and never uses it, so it doesn’t depreciate in value. Forward thinking there.

  14. haha I thought his glasses were actually like that but then realised it was the blurring.

  15. He probably drives a Hummer. Sorry to hear about your penis.

  16. Size 16 arse woman + 5 foot 9 cheeky sarcastic man = party I want to attend.

  17. Wow I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. He is obviously overcompensating for something…..

  18. My rich dad only wants me to date men with money. Which I’m guessing is probably not this guy.

  19. unfortunately completely ridiculous douchebags aren’t as RARE as this guy’s combination of attractive features

    I’m so glad he’s made his choice of lady more precise, now I can stop getting all emotional on him for not liking my picture

  20. I like how he wants an “intelligent woman,” but cannot seem to spell half of his words correctly. What a douche!

  21. I r a lil confused…

  22. What’s sadder/scarier/most pathetic is that SOME dumb chick is going to respond to this loser. She’s going to get all psyched up that she’s just what he’s looking for.

    Fathers be good to your daughters…

  23. I’ve seen all kinds of tools, but never a Nigerian tool. My life is complete.

  24. LOL @ 13.Duncan

    I wish I could have this guy’s addy, so I could play him around and have a good laugh… I guess that’s evil though, but what a douche!!!

  25. Wow. Hard to believe he’s single.

    What’s with the finger? The FU is usually the V-sign here so maybe he’s giving us a preview of what’s in his pants?

    I can’t wait to get back my pictures from Glamour Shots and send them on. I got the Face and Arse package.

  26. Come on, guys. Give him a break. He could be rude about the photos he’s sent, but that’s not the kind of man he is: he’s charitable, and will just ignore the photos he dislikes, thus saving the dignity of the sender. *throws off wedding ring and moves to Cardiff to hunt this mofo down*

  27. God bless the British immigration service, would have loved to have seen his application.

    Name: Tony Ndlovue

    Age: 18

    Sex: Hell yah

    Qualifications/Skills: PHD, Mastas in bein a mac daddy from da univercity ov lyf

    Reason for application – Me is claimin asilum from all da mingin chix in Lagos, Dey is well fat

    For office use only: APPROVED

  28. Wow, this dude is cool. What a lame ass ninja

  29. I thought girls liked confident guys. Given that frequent refrain, this guy would be perfect.

  30. I bet he has AIDS.

  31. Oh no, he’s giving Cardiff a bad name!


    (Some of us are stranger).

  32. Some of us can even spell some words correctly.

  33. I’ll bet he’s one of those sexy Nigerian princes I’ve been getting so many emails from…the ones who want me to cash their cheques for them, and I get to keep half the money…

  34. I hope some fine looking lady with a sexy arse (but not too fat of course) gets a hold of this twat and educates him

  35. This can’t be real. Please tell me it isn’t real…

  36. WOW he must be a real keeper.

  37. I am so turned on right now.

  38. WOW, he needs to take a look at himself!

  39. Shut up, you guys. I’m in LOVE.

  40. Come on people this is clearly a joke. A very funny one at that too.

  41. “ya not my cuppa yeah”
    Intelligence IS rare, apparently.

  42. @8: Flipping off the camera = no one gets a chance anyways, they’re all fucked from the get go.

  43. This dude is obviously suffering from “little man syndrome’ or as some call it “Tom Cruisism”. Anyone who goes on fb to brag about themsleves and state their criteria in women (whom are 99.9% of the time out of their league) usually a wackjob or a recent parolee. But…with grammer skills like that, I’m getting kinda hot.

  44. Oh Shan, that was SUCH a good comment…but “grammar”.

  45. @Shan: It’s called a “Napoleon complex.”

  46. The most depressing thing is that he still gets it more than pretty much everyone who’s replied here. Yes, including me.

  47. @Snip!: No, it’s depressing that he has to go online and solicit it.

  48. He’s obviously not for real – there aren’t any nice parts of Wales or Cardiff…

  49. There are actually a few nice parts of Wales, but not in Cardiff…

  50. Shit, if only I’d stayed in Cardiff…

  51. Who calls fake? And who calls latent gay?

  52. Why the hell would I want to be with some short ass who thinks he’s good enough to have a fine ass like mine? I have standards too sweetheart and your personality alone is below them.

  53. aww, what a precious little baby.

    short-man syndrome all the way.

  54. This is The Holy Grail of Lamebook

  55. I personally love the fact that admin has blurred out his massive glasses, as though they are the key identifying feature of this doosh

  56. I hope he spends the rest of his days a lonely man, the shitty sunglasses douchebag.

  57. Where do I sign up? Of course I mean sign up to the ‘let’s hit this guy in the head with a frying-pan’ league.

  58. It hurt just to try to read his unintelligent drivel.

  59. arse and face in the same picture…. how could anyone make that position and still take a photo :S what a twat….

  60. Reminds me of my days on the UK Ah, memories…

  61. perfidious_albion

    Awwww. He’s so sweet.

  62. The saddest thing is some silly girls with no confidence will reply to this dick.

  63. @ Duke of Puke that is hilarious .

  64. @ I’m with stupid. Does enyone belive the whole Nigerian Prince line because am pretty sure most Princes in Nigeria have died out

  65. assuming they are all as awesome as his profile pic, i want to reply to him just to get the ‘front shot, side shot and back shot’. also, anyone get the feeling he’s not even 5’9? all short people add a few inches. i say 5’6 at best.

    in truth the only shot i want is one of him suffering horrible pain at the hands of all of us

  66. I must locate him.

    Must … apply … in … case … I turn out to be sexy enough. Just in case.

    I wish he’d gotten comments.

  67. flash_in_the_ pan

    LOL. A resemblance to Aaliyah, she’s been dead for like 5 years.

  68. Hmm delusional beggars cant be choosers.

  69. I best be gettin my number and pic (arse and face) to this gorgeous motha. HAHAHA…I’m 5′ 9″ and Im a chick… so five nine on a black man? ouch hunnie. grow a few inches and we’ll talk.

  70. I hope he gets fooled by some chick then meets up with her, and she turns out to be the fulgiest of all.
    Id give anything to be a walking passer-by for that encounter.

  71. *fugliest

  72. Sometimes a boxer
    Will fight outside of his class.
    Just like this dumbfuck.

  73. i’m sorry but is this one of those nigerian scam?

  74. I havent laughed so much at a comment in a while, @ duke of puke that was hilarious! Got to give it to the Brits, they sure allow quality immigrants into their country. Wow this guy sounds like the perfect catch get in line ladies, I always wanted a broke ass mofo whose arse I have to support and has me speaking only when spoken to and proberly would like me to be more plastic then barbie. Well at least he knows what he wants LOL pity he’s prob going to be single for the rest of his life. And whats with the finger is that supposed to make him hardcore????

  75. I can not believe i actually just read that whole thing.

  76. I repeat, “..cus i is nice baby..” He is a keeper.

  77. What a turn on. He’s a keeper, girls.

  78. I just love the last sentence – “This combination of looks, personality, stability, and intelligence is RARE”.

    In his words, dayyyyum.

    He also forgot overweening arrogance, misogynism and Kanye West-style attitude.

  79. HAHAHA Kristy, so true. Hes another Kanye.

  80. yo obvious virgin, I’m real happy for you and imma let you finish, but SEAN JOHN ROCAFELLA had the best lamebook post of all time. OF ALL TIME.

    lol what a fucking tool.

  81. I really don’t see what is so bad about this. There are 10,000 worse things people make on the internet on a daily basis to make an ass of themselves. I think you guys are just picking on him because he abbreviates “are” as “r” and makes a few spelling mistakes and you guys want to feel better about yourselves. Not funny. Not half as embarassing/pathetic as you guys are making it out to be. Again, guarantee half of you guys have never even spoken to a black dude for more than like 2 minutes, have any black friends, or grew up in a neighborhood that had more than like 4% black population. Just saying. Bye. This sucks.

  82. @ Guy

    People like you piss me off, why dont you just fuck off and die.
    I hate people like you that always try and pull the racism card! You are pathetic and an oxgen thief. The reason we dont like this guy is cause he is lame! Not because he is black and also because he is a chavanuist pig, and for your info im white and my best friend is black so do the world a favour and stop breathing please.

  83. oh and I live in this place called AFRICA where white is the minority.

  84. oh and Ambrose your comment was bloody brilliant lol

  85. @LittleMz: calm down.

  86. @ LittleMz. Also, fine, it wasn’t about race. BUT, it was about the way he is speaking. I’ve seen much much much worse examples of bad spelling/sentence structure, and the fact that I mentioned he’s black is because it’s often enough black people who are writing like that. And people are so quick to jump on people who use a few, possible stupid looking abbreviations. Also, god damn you are a hateful person jesus christ calm down. I know I said it before but man… I thought I was angry at the world.

  87. Then why did you have to bring up the whole fact that he is black, like the reason I dont like you is not because of your race but because of your stupid comments and the fact that I think your a dick. Im not hateful, I have no problem with the rest of the people who have commented, only you and your pathetic point of view.

  88. Thanks’s Ricks Sister couldnt have said it better myself (wink)

  89. @ Rick’s sister: Because often enough there are comments that say “oh man, she’s black, really? I couldn’t have guessed.” It is assuming unintelligence or, that a person has no worth when they post abbreviations like that. I mean, there are times when it is just ridiculous but I didn’t feel this was one. And the reason I brought up that he was black is because, they would realize if they knew any black people a lot of them will talk like on facebook or whatever and that and that doesn’t mean they are less of a person or anything. Also, I don’t believe he is being a chauvenistic pig I believe he is tired of fat bitches mailing him haha. Also, I’m pretty sure I’m not the dick “fuck off and die”, “stop breathing”, “oxygen stealer”.

  90. Pointlessly pixelating sunglasses is a hilarious touch.

  91. Oh god yes, the pixelated sunglasses just make this for me. This guy is clearly a massive life fail who has no respect for women, and does not realise that most intelligent women would just laugh in his face. Unfortunately im sure he got a few replies from some real classy ladies who found something, god knows what, about his request for “a sexy gal” who “dont talk to much” appealing.

  92. @ guy – I find this poster to be a complete idiot. You’re right behind him. Btw, you’re right, I’ve never talked to a black guy once in my life, nope. Especially not with having my best friend being black since age 2. I probably have about 50 black friends on FB also, and NONE of them talk like that. Nice try on trying to defend you playing the race card. Go team Kanye!

  93. @Steve-o
    Your best friend has been black since age 2? Just out of curiosity, what colour was their skin before that?

  94. @Bert
    Please, that has to be the silliest question I’ve ever heard.Yellow. No, not a problem with his liver. He used to be a character on Simpsons, then he decided to keep it real.

  95. Menace to Society

    “I have standards” Such a classy guy

  96. gooood afternooooonnn madammmme. i am calling from your building society and i require your bank account details and sort code… and a date?

  97. Oh wow. Kind of refreshing to see someone being so straight up about what they expect in a girl.
    Read: Looks that compare to fabulously airbrushed women who exercise 50% of their day. A girl who has many intelligent things to say, but apparently not the guts to say them. And god forbid she doesn’t have a nice ass. I got standards.

    Pick me, pick me you African/Welsh hybrid Prince you!
    I is nice baby, and I think I is well fit.

  98. what a muppet. look how cool he thinks he is with his metro sunnys and middle finger. i would rather die then look at that picture again. end of story

  99. I’ll just delete this and pretend it never happened. Have fun with that series of divorces from golddigging skanks moron.

  100. if he’s so intelligent how cum he can’t spell ass. he want a gurl or gyirl that looks dat good and has all those qualities he betta get chemistry set and get 2 work, if he succeeds I want 1 too!

  101. Not asking for muh is he?! Like he’s so hot, DICK!

  102. *much

  103. how can u be mad at someone who calls it “humour” instead of “humor”? its like when u hear a brit swear, its just so proper that u cant even take it seriously…just like this chode

  104. I am British and humour is spelt *humour* bloody Americans adopted our language and then maimed it for their own “individuality” despite the fact all of their ancestors were European and could actually spell!

  105. Ps. We can swear without sounding proper its all about accent and dialect, or do all the peoiple in your country sound the same?

  106. *people

  107. Well, he also had one chance to impress me…and failed miserably.

  108. @ Lithi, Meu Deus! How this sick fuck/douche-bag couldn’t impress you?? He’s ugly as shit, believe me I almost die from “impression”.

  109. @ right behind u Jenna, fucking arrogant yanks, always think they know everything and always got to be right.

  110. u be proper ode,mumu,ewu.Ur village gather money send u come better urself na woman u dey find.wai u even talk say u be naija boy,na for village dey don dey pursue u ,you think say u sabi.U fine na im u wear sunglasses inside house,5’9 more like 1’5.i go help u paste ur pic everywhere,i sure say na oshodi u dey,which cardiff -de one wey u read for proper deliverance ur family suppose do, unless na u ur village sacrifice for de taboos u don do!so as u be na ur punishment.

  111. cunt

  112. Does guy really think our issue with this post is the grammar? My god it was so bad I didn’t even notice the terrible spelling! The twats a self obsessed, arrogant pig. His attitude towards women and life in general is appalling. He is as shallow as a puddle and has nothing to offer anyone but his good looks, which are tarnished by the fact he believes himself to be gods fookin gift! @Guy if you missed all that your probably exactly the same as this prick, the colour of your or his skin has nothing to do with that im afraid, your just a prick.

  113. black people are rad

    this guy is the fucking man

  114. hahah if he the shit like he thinks he is, then he wouldnt need to be checking out on facebook. and yes i am sure some of you have said that, the fact that i am also sayin it only further proves your point because obviously that means others agree. and i am betting the fact he is so out of proportion, you know, how his head is like ten times bigger than the rest of his body, has to do with why he needs to go on facebook to find his sexy lady

  115. Seriously? This guy lives in Cardiff and we’re supposed to impress HIM?

    The girl needs to be rich, hot and willing to live in Wales … asking a LOT, what does he provide?

  116. tl;dr…but what the fuck is a gUrl??

  117. i definitely be sexy. i thinks i has found my dream boat. someone please find me this nigerian slice of hunk.

  118. One acronym, and only one, for this jewel of a post…lmao.

  119. oh man soooo repulsive…what a fuckhead.

  120. i sooooo want that guy

  121. 5’9″ on fb = 5’6″ in real life.

    he be a pygmie, yeah?

  122. what a tosser.

  123. Black as what?? is that supposed to be prison bars and a gun? fuckin racist

  124. @Guy
    I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. No one wants to hear your opinion. And you don’t always have to be the individual who needs to oppose comments on the internet just to spark debate and appear clever. And as for not thinking this tool is bad then what does that say about you? do you like “fly hunnies wif gheTTo bootiez hu no wen to speek and wen not to$$$” no but seriously mate, thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

  125. stupid niggaz…

  126. Omg, and what’s he bringing to the table? A vast collection of shades? spinning rims on his 1995 Toyota Camry with mismatched hood and doors? Ohhh, he’s clearly out of my league all I’ve got going for me is a sharp wit and class. I think I’m really losing out here. Maybe I should go make myself better looking, since that’s how I’ll get the “cheeky” boys to like me… Oh, wait, I just found another facet of upset. The whole flipping off the camera thing? How is that appealing to anyone? I didn’t get the excited shiver he surely expected me to and say “Oh gracious, he’s such a bad boy. I can change him, I can change him!” Instead I rolled my eyes and thought, “Oh dear, another Kanye worshiper. This should be grand.”

    That was so long no one will read it, and that’s just fine. I still had to say it. lol.

  127. I read it, Kayla. You go girl. :) My thoughts exactly. I can only aspire to be good enough for a fucking LOSER like this.

  128. Am I the only one?

    Okay, the dude has sounded like an idiot the entire post, right? So, am I the only one who heard that last line like a commercial?

    “This combination of looks, personality, stability is RARE…”

    So, act fast, before this offer expires! Call 1-800-441-2400!

    …Sorry. XD

  129. This guy sounds brilliant! if only he was ‘my’ way, haha. :P .

    Its a shame you only like girls xx

  130. this combination of low self-esteem and lack of humility is RARE, so you got 1 chance to impress me, girrllllll.

    effin’ idiot.

    true story.

  131. if ever women needed a good definition of a chauvinist jackass…well look no further than the pic and long as profile intro above this page….this makes me wonder what planet he really hails from…sure aint earth…now any woman or girl dumb enough to reply…reply meaning send him a pic of ur face n ass….i stand corrected he aint the biggest jackass she is!gotta applaud him though…mans got balls to type all that backside on here!

  132. “so u only got 1 chance to impress me”

    Wow, he really thinks he’s quite the catch doesn’t he?

  133. “so u only got 1 chance to impress me”

    Wow, he really thinks he’s quite the catch, doesn’t he?

  134. this guy reeks of vinegar

  135. rofl

  136. This man DESERVES the nobel peace prize. Why? Well let’s run down the list shall we?

    The girl should have a:

    1. Resemblance to Rihanna, Jessica Simpson, Aaliyah, Beyonce, Angelina Jolie or JLo.

    2. Great sense of humour.

    3. Great personality

    4. a judicious employment of her words and be aware of the precise occassions when she should converse. i.e. – Doesn’t talk too much

    5. Great arse

    6. Talent for performing scintillating dance moves.

    7. Rich father and have substantial sums of money herself.

    8. Must be size 16.

    If these noble sentiments can be realised, the terrorists would abandon their terrorist activities and gleefully embrace the paradise on earth instead of blowing themselves up to go up there in spirit. And the very idea of the defeat of terrorists would certainly entitle this visionary to a Nobel peace prize. I mean the latest guy to get it also merely voiced noble sentiments right? You don’t have to ACTUALLY accomplish anything tangible to get one.

    I nominate this Nigerian douche for the Nobel prize. Anyone willing to second that?

  137. is he sniffing his finger?? he could sniff my bum anytime

  138. Lol now HE is ugly :P
    Would he seriously think, not even talking about his bad English yet, he can hook up with a non-whore?

  139. As an egocentric, retarded but deluded, exhibitionist size 10 with a size 16 ass, who can’t (for some reason I really can’t put my finger on) find a man the old fashioned way, I’m going to reply to his ad :D

  140. So he’s not asking for much then?

  141. WTF is up with ugly bastards like that thinking they can chat shit. Seriously he is a minger from what I can see so he has no place to chat shit like that I hope he ends up with a fat ugly whore

  142. I love the fact that his just sunglasses are pixelated…

  143. Damn… I cant fix that last comment lol

  144. How can he possibly still be single after that? I am broken hearted that I got here too late. :(

  145. You have got to wonder what some of these people are thinking; I mean seriously – even if you were attractive what on earth would possess you to do something like that? XD
    LOL @ 144.

  146. I will never understand why people feel the need to flip off the camera in a picture.

    Much love for the pixelated sunglasses, by the way.

  147. @ Erika

    I freakin’ love you for pointing that out, I didn’t even notice.
    Gave me a good laugh XD

  148. Heheheheheheheheheheheheeheheheheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I know this guy! Lololol. Awesome. He is actually not a bad guy, but I do remember one incident where he was slightly questionable on the decency front. Funny thing is, just yesterday I was wondering what happened to him. Now I know. Bless.

  149. I wouldn’t get on that with Tara Reid’s vagina.

    I just don’t think there is an excuse for lazy spelling when you are on the computer and typing up something that long.

  150. LOL I no this guy,he just had a baby with my friend and he is NOT 5’9 he’s about 5’5 and my friend doesn’t have a big arse either and she doesn’t look like any of the women he described so he obviously made the exception!

  151. This guy needs to team up with Suroor. No woman alive could resist THAT combination.

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