Oh, bollocks! All this talk of anal destruction is going t’ get me excited! Can I blow me load on yer belly, or would ya prefer ‘f I just cum inside ye?
And regardin’ me parental unit…What ya’s do wit’ me mum ‘s between the two of ya’s. I try not to pry into her affairs, what she does is her business…but I don’t think she’d go for it. You’re not chipper enough for her, and frankly, I doubt you’re man enough…I’m just sayin’ man. You’re little more than a filthy landlubber, don’t get yer hopes up, you’re not her type!
Now, moving on. I’ve got better shit t’ do right now, and I don’t have nearly enough time to play wingman for you, and try and argue enough with you to get yer blood flow going so you can get an erection. I know it’s been awhile, you’re desperate, and only trying to get the help you need.
I’m sorry, man. I know you were looking forward to doing this tonight. Hell, I imagine you probably spent hours rehearsing how you were going to confront myself, the Captain. I’m just not interested in being your fluffer. I can, however make a couple of recommendations ‘f that be fitting enough for ya!
Try again sometime after 9am EST, I might be free then. If I’m not in port, I’d suggest making an appointment. Honestly, you’d have a better chance of catching me on Friday morning, or whenever the new posts stop for the weekend so I don’t have to chase them down. Likely I’ll just be passed out in my quarters with some other members of me awesome loyal crew, but since you’ve been such a rude little nancy boy, you’rrre not invited!
CapnJacques TL:DR ! ! ! You must have misunderstood, I said shut the fuck up otherwise I’ll choke my DICK in your THROAT. IMAGINE trying to talk your shit with my BALLS ON YOUR TONSILS It would probably sound like: Gagagagagagagaggagaaggagagaggggggggggggagagagaggagagaggaggagagagaga