Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The Forbidden Fruit

previous post: Good Question…

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10 Comments

  1. God creates life and we have to find joy in that, even if it is (g)rape.
    ;)

  2. Shut the fuck up and die.

  3. That’s so sweet! Thanks for being anal!

  4. That will end up on Headlines with Jay Leno.

  5. Did anyone else read it as Crap-e-fruit?

  6. If it prevents scurvy it must be good, right?

  7. Hot.

  8. CapnJaques, I suggest you shut the fuck up before I give your throat a DICKING! ARRrr You would like that wouldn’t you? Your mum loves it when I DESTROY her ANUS!

  9. Oh, bollocks! All this talk of anal destruction is going t’ get me excited! Can I blow me load on yer belly, or would ya prefer ‘f I just cum inside ye?

    And regardin’ me parental unit…What ya’s do wit’ me mum ‘s between the two of ya’s. I try not to pry into her affairs, what she does is her business…but I don’t think she’d go for it. You’re not chipper enough for her, and frankly, I doubt you’re man enough…I’m just sayin’ man. You’re little more than a filthy landlubber, don’t get yer hopes up, you’re not her type!

    Now, moving on. I’ve got better shit t’ do right now, and I don’t have nearly enough time to play wingman for you, and try and argue enough with you to get yer blood flow going so you can get an erection. I know it’s been awhile, you’re desperate, and only trying to get the help you need.

    I’m sorry, man. I know you were looking forward to doing this tonight. Hell, I imagine you probably spent hours rehearsing how you were going to confront myself, the Captain. I’m just not interested in being your fluffer. I can, however make a couple of recommendations ‘f that be fitting enough for ya!

    Try again sometime after 9am EST, I might be free then. If I’m not in port, I’d suggest making an appointment. Honestly, you’d have a better chance of catching me on Friday morning, or whenever the new posts stop for the weekend so I don’t have to chase them down. Likely I’ll just be passed out in my quarters with some other members of me awesome loyal crew, but since you’ve been such a rude little nancy boy, you’rrre not invited! :P

  10. CapnJacques TL:DR ! ! ! You must have misunderstood, I said shut the fuck up otherwise I’ll choke my DICK in your THROAT. IMAGINE trying to talk your shit with my BALLS ON YOUR TONSILS :D It would probably sound like: Gagagagagagagaggagaaggagagaggggggggggggagagagaggagagaggaggagagagaga

    I DESTROY ANUS!

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