Wednesday, December 16, 2009

That’s A Bummer, Bill



previous post: Untying the Knot



  1. LOL I totally saw this set up coming. Brilliantly done, “Ashley”.

  2. hahaha this is awesome. he deserved it!

  3. Make that “51 Ways To Leave Your Lover”, Mr. Paul Simon.

  4. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. LOL! make that 52 . . .

  6. … If this is real, then it is AWESOME!

  7. i love you lamebook

  8. OMFG brilliant!

  9. one word: awesome.

    Bill = Douchebag

  10. On the other hand, he’s probably better off without her. He’s a dick, but she’s clearly a psycho. Good luck with that, Billy :-)

  11. Bahahaha, this is brilliant.

  12. hah… well that’s one way to find out if you’re partner will cheat…

    What a douchebag…
    I wonder if all the things he said about her were true…

  13. Awesome, just awesome.

  14. I did this to an ex once. How naive can a person be? XD

  15. I bet a sonic boom could be heard when that boner went down.

  16. She may not be a psycho, She could have thought something was up, so she hatched this plan to really see. She did mention that there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with their relationship, not to say that she’s right, but maybe Bill is just a douchebag and she’d had enough but really wanted to know how far he’d go so she set it up. It’s pretty clever. But then again, this is Lamebook so she could very well be psycho…
    M question now though, Who out of the two of them submitted this?
    It’s a private convo, so it had to be one of them… or it was submitted to another site to embarrass him and someone else then submitted to Lamebook.

    Argh. I’m rambling. BORED.

  17. LOL @dee-lite

  18. Hi KAOSS. I’m going to go with psycho. The way she flipped mid-sentence in the last post was pretty unhinged. Funny as hell, though.

  19. ooooh Win for “Ashley”

  20. You’re*

  21. I think this is lameness alright, she’s kinda sad, she went through all that trouble of making a fake profile, started chatting, worked out a meeting then you ruin it before you actually know if the boyfriend would go out and meet the new girl. But if that’s not bad enough you then submit it into lamebook yourself to watch the comments… Kinda makes me wonder if she actually made two profiles to have a conversation with because they were so desperate to submit something to the site?

  22. The way she flipped in the last post was to lull him into thinking it was a nice comment then BAM! capital letters and expletives… you know, Like imagine her speaking.

    I don’t think she’s a psycho. I think she’s just been cheated on too many times by this douchebag to be polite anymore.

  23. KAOSS it has to be the girl who submitted this, it says “between Bill and You”

  24. OMG. Does anyone remember that terrible photo of the weird family photo with the couple and a gift box with their baby coming out of it in a weird yellow fart cloud? I think I know where they got the inspiration from!

  25. Imisszombiekid,
    You’re right.
    Kaoss = fail

  26. Vince from purchasing

    5 years from now, Bill’s going to be a lot happier and saner than Ashley. Unless she kills him, of course.

    this is the one I’m talking about

  28. ashley, marry me you sneaky, scheming, conniving sexy minx you!

  29. I half think this would’ve been even better if she’d played along and hidden in the back of the bar then waited til he looked sad from being stood up…it would be the perfect revenge, she could go out there, kick him in the bollocks, and say all of what she wrote up there in person instead, then put the whole thing on youtube…

    Maybe I’m a little too vindictive :)

  30. Note to self: don’t cross “Ashley” or Jenivere :-)

  31. Haha, oh my god. I started laughing right as the caps lock started. He never saw it coming.

  32. Fake, for sure, it’s a private message for a start, it says ‘between Bill ********* and You’ at the top, it’s a set up, probably 2 fake profiles and someone with too much time on their hands. Lamebook come in, your time is up.

  33. hehe lol , at first i was wondering what the lame part was untill i clicked on the whole thing , classic

  34. Entrapment.

  35. This is awesome.

  36. As opposed to the Black Widow who uses her own web to kill prey, the White Widow uses the World Wide Web. After they picked a victim, they slowly but surely have a one night stand, but the White Widow makes it’s victims feel uncomfortable beforehand. After all that’s done, the White Widow kills it’s victims by cheating on him/her (well who knows, they might be lesbians too) best friend.

  37. fake or not..i like it

  38. How can anyone be so fucking naïve to believe some random hot chick from Facebook would want to nail him silly instantly just from looking at his profile photos??

  39. LOL , this is better than oprah show ;) )

  40. She’s pretty cunning for a smelly bitch. Why is Bill nailing somebody who is allergic to soap anyways?

    If i were banging a ‘stench wench’ I’d jump at the first bit of internet muff that came my way too.

  41. What’s a guy to do? I don’t blame Bill a bit.

  42. At anybody who says this chick is not a psycho, you guys are wrong. This is not a healthy thing to do at all. If there’s trust issues in a relationship: communication is key. If trust issues persist: walk away. No use being paranoid all the time. Setting up a situation like this only hurts Ashley. She’s a dummy.

  43. LMFAO! Fake or not this is fucking brilliant!!! I have to kind of admit I knew she was up to something while reading her 2nd last comment!

  44. Imamofo made me lauuugh:) the whole soap thing is hilarious, pity it was snowed over by smelly ashley’s infantile drama.

  45. #32 Calcutta:
    It might well be fake (as I said in my comment #38, Bill was so ridiculously gullible to fall for this that it might be suspicious), but the fact that it’s a private message and it says “Between Bill and You” is no proof of that. It only proves that “Ashley” submitted it to Lamebook, which was pretty obvious anyway.

  46. lostintranslation

    Wow… they went from “Hi, do I know you?” to “let’s have sex” to “I’m going to kill you and we’re now broken up” in only 41 minutes. Impressive!

  47. Bill was not aware of the rule – “If a girl has to come on to you, there is something wrong with her.” I guess he’ll not forget that rule now.

    Do we think Ashley stalks amongst us, posting on this site too???

  48. I personally think “Ashley” is sitting in a dark room, sobbing and plotting Billy’s violent death.

  49. Freaking hilarious :D way to go Ashley !

  50. I like turtles.

  51. @30 – giggles :) I’m not *that* bad…honest!

    @42 – you’re not accounting for good liars which a lot of cheaters are, sometimes the only way to find out for sure and know you’re NOT being paranoid is to find out first hand. Rumours can’t be trusted but when you have evidence of one form or another you can get out of a bad relationship far easier and with the confidence to know you’re in the right and anything they say to their defence is an absolute lie no matter how convincing it sounds. Plus it’s always easier to do the dumping than to be dumped, this chick just saved herself that bullet and entertained us in the process. Bravo, I say.

  52. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    Ooooooooooh, hitme is wearing her happy face after this. It’s pretty special.

  53. It would be epic win for Bill if he answered “Sorry I don’t want to have sex with you, anonymous sexy chick, because I love too much my actual gf”
    Anyway, as a dude, that’s impossible.

  54. I can’t say this is really awesome, because “Ashley” submitted it herself. Not only that, but if she didn’t realize their relationship was going south, why did she make a fake profile in the first place?

    Either way, Bill is still a jerk.

  55. Men are scum.

    Good for “Ashley”, now she needs to plot some awesome revenge.

    Also, I really wish he’d replied.

  56. I’m on Bill’s side. If he was gonna break up with his gf he must of had plans to do it before he met this fake girl. I agree KT I was thinking the same thing.. Ashley must of been having doubts if she faked him out like this.

    I especially like the burn on Ashley when he basically says he’s leaving her cause she smells LOL then she calls HIM filthy. All in all, Bill has the better end of the deal. She sure does sound crazy.

  57. This is probably all set-up.

    “Ashley” even posted this herself. People seem to do anything wierd just to get on lamebook. LAME

  58. Uh, Nina. She’s pretending to be this fake “Ashley”, and she totally pwned her now-ex boyfriend, so she probably sent this in herself.

  59. hailstorm, i know she’s fake, thats why i wrote “Ashley”. But i still have a feeling that she and her bf planned that. Whatever.

  60. probably would send*

  61. It doesn’t seem that implausible, I know a few people who have tried to pull off something like this, but never so brilliantly.

  62. LMAO

  63. Pure WIN!! Billy got pwnd

  64. this is so epic win I don’t think I can handle it

  65. She must have had some inkling of douchebaggery.Women have sixth sense about that-I know full well if I had done the same to my 2nd husband he’d have fallen hook, line and sinker.And having been married to him I can attest to the fact that people are indeed that stupid.

  66. I should’ve done that.

  67. They totally deserve each other.

  68. It’s like that ‘demotivational poster’: “Caps lock: Are you ready to unleash the fury?”


  69. Clever girl.

    Dumb ass guy.

  70. That’s the power of Pine-Sol, baby.

  71. posty mcposterson

    Zombie Kid! I have missed you.
    Bill=moron. Who wouldn’t see that coming? I would believe a message from a stranger…maybe even an agreement to meet and go to a bar but when she immediately asks him to come home with her…I think at the very least he should have been suspicious. His stupidity is entertaining. :D

  72. This is the best entry in the history of Lamebook.

  73. Wow, what a crazy bitch.

    Bill is better off without that psycho crazy woman.

  74. Way to go, Ashley. Maybe next time we should meet up over drinks and discuss ways to get back at cheating boyfriends who say their girlfriends are smelly.

  75. Typical DC/MD/VA metro area residents. The vacuum of stupid around the Nation’s Capital extends quite a bit in every direction.

  76. That chick is nuts. Bill sounds like he wanted to get out of the relationship, so you can’t blame him for wanting something better when it came along…plus they were only together for 8 MONTHS. She really set up all this and flipped out over 8 MONTHS? She’s clearly psycho. And he’s clearly a dumbass for not seeing that coming. That being said, it would have been a more epic win on her part had she actually met up with him in a public place to chew his ass out. I would like to have seen a picture of his face when she walked through the door instead of “Ashley”.

  77. five stars.

  78. Zombie Kid, i missed you.

  79. ok, so i’m not “ashly” so don’t accuse me of being her, but I was dating a guy for 8 months and he left his myspace open and i found out he had been talking to girls for our whole relationship telling them that we were going to break up soon. Obviously he wasn’t going to break up with me or he wouldn’t have even started dating me. Some guys like what they have going on with their gf but want a little extra on the side. So it’s NEVER an excuse that he is planning on breaking up with her so it’s ok. it’s just a way of justifying the douchebaggery. Don’t cut him any slack. oh and p.s. I caught that guy cheating on me in the end:(

  80. tbh i think this may be kinda fake, it says “ashley” sent it in, why would she do that?

  81. @79 probablynot:

    I tend to agree that it’s just as possible/likely that he made a lot of if not all of the stuff up about “Ashley” just as a way to get the girl to ignore his relationship status. I had an ex who did similar; he was dating me but sleeping around on the side and apparently some of the excuses he used were pretty rich. The girl he was sleeping with finally got suspicious, poked through his cell-phone and called me (I was #3 on speed dial). We figured out that he’d been “dating” both of us and lying to each of us. I was lucky that I found out only a couple months in and before sex; she ended up having gonorrhoea from him. Still, when she confronted him about me, he made up a whole bunch of crap about how I was a crazy psycho ex and when I asked him about her, he said much the same. Some guys are quite happy to cheat and lie about their girlfriends or lack thereof in order to do so.

    @ 53 Mikaubodom:

    Actually, it’s not impossible for a guy to say no to sex from some anonymous woman, regardless of how sexy, because they care for their girlfriend. The number of times I’ve gone to the washroom at a bar/club and come out to find some super-model-esque woman hanging off my boyfriend and him desperately trying to dodge her is surprising. Girls like and seek sex just as much as guys, and as much as they’re never allowed to say “I just couldn’t turn down sex from a hot guy,” neither can guys use offered sex from a hot girl as an excuse for cheating. Also if you (general you referring to all guys) want something outside of the relationship, the least you could do is man up and say so ahead of time. Bill could easily have seen this invitation and e-mailed “Ashley” at her real profile/e-mail and said he wanted to sleep with this girl so he was leaving her. Obviously, he didn’t even change his relationship status, which just says that he was clearly thinking about ways to avoid repercussions. He’s not being a man, he’s being a sleaze. A real man (or woman, in my opinion) would decide what he wants and fully commit to that, or decide that he can’t decide and drop the matter entirely.

  82. wow. what a dumbass. who didn’t see that coming from a mile away? Also, if a girl/guy is willing to have sex with you over a quick convo over facebook, don’t you think they’ve done it before? STD city.

  83. I do hope she had some reason to suspect that he would cheat on her if given the chance…otherwise do just randomly test her guy is in fact, a little psycho regardless of the fact that he failed the test.

    Even if thats the case though, she may be psycho but he’s a nasty little whore.

  84. Its not fake. If I was Ashley I would definitely send it to show how much a douche bag he is.

    There is no excuse for this. Guys make me sick on here saying “Ohh, well if he wasn’t happy then its ok, since something new came along.” Then thats when you break up with her FIRST. Then go fuck everything you want. Thats why guys get caught so much, they’re dumb. And, 8 months is long enough to be hurt by something like this. My boyfriend and I have beeen together for 9 months yesterday, and if I caught something like this going on I would react the same way.
    There is no excuse for cheaters. If you’re not happy in your relationship, then you should get out of it.


  85. I can’t believe more people aren’t calling totally FAKE on this one! no guy would come out and say all that stuff about their girlfriend, even if he didn’t like her he would just say they fought all the time or something. No way he would go into all that ‘she is smelly’ stuff, that is a total chick thing to say. Sure guys care about stuff like that, but to say she smells like a grandmother? ha! Not likely

  86. I don’t think it’s fake. There really are guys like him out there. I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true. And Sometimes their dick thinks harder than their brain. It happens. I’m getting tired of these people saying every post on here is fake.


  88. Instant Karma. Just add selfishness.

  89. If you create a fake Facebook personality, friend your SO, and then flirt to see if he/she will be faithful, you already know the answer…

  90. This is great. Nothing like a dude using a semi public forum to get caught. This was like the internet version of cheaters.

  91. holy shit. she’s a psycho and he’s a tool for believing that a random hot chick would just add him and then without even meeting him ask him to plan to come back to her place. hot chicks don’t do that, ugly fat chicks do that

  92. The Scarlet Pimple

    This certainly seems fake…but if it ISN’T: doesn’t it say something about Ashley that she goes around using fake Internet whores to catch her boyfriend in the act of being a lying douche?

  93. I went to school with guys well above this level of douchebaggery. They would easily believe that a random hot chick would come after them online. Most of them now have exciting careers in the fast food or sanitation engineering fields.

    I’ve also met an “Ashley” or two. Some women can (and will) go to any end to prove they’re being mistreated.

  94. Maybe he’s just such a great liar that she couldn’t catch him red handed. If he wasn’t a dick then he would have told stranger slut to get lost. This is all his fault. And she needed proof to dump him.

  95. @UpperGI_Joe well said

  96. The fact remains “Ashley” showers every 3 days…dirtbag.

  97. At first I thought fake as well (which I rarely make accusations of), but after reading through a second time, it looks real.

    Both “Ashley” and Bill are morons. Honestly, I hate this planet. Ashley is the kind of psycho, crazy stupid woman that gives all of us sane girls a bad name. If you really can’t trust your boyfriend, something is wrong with your relationship, or you’re dating the wrong person.

    And Bill? Sorry, boys, but there is no phrase that so perfectly exemplifies douchebaggery as: “were about to break up pretty soon anyways, so its not really an issue”. Oh, you’re almost broken up? Okay, that’s cool, I’ll screw you. No respectful and respectable girl would do that to another girl.

  98. nice work, ashley. this was probably her only chance to bust this guy and he took the bait. ashley probably never puts out because Billy has a tiny wee wee so he is eager to get some any way he can, even from a facebook stranger. i mean who is going to say NO to a FREE prostitute in the midst of a recession? that’s like turning down a free mocha at Starbucks.

    Billy, please reply in this forum immediately. if you do, i promise to meet you at a bar and give you all i’ve got in the bathroom. i won’t even make you wear a rubber.


    This is the GREATEST lamebook post EVER!!

  100. This is the fakest fake to ever fake.

  101. baaaaa ha ha ha ha ha!
    If this is real I am in awe I thought I did some good schemes but this is a whole new level.

  102. It’s funny how Bill just dismisses his current relationship and goes for the mystery girl who is inexplicably trying to setup a booty call with him.

  103. Ughh. I hate when sluts do that. Try to add a guy because they think that the guy is hott. A skank tried to add my boyfriend because she said he was cute… My man’s response: “Uhmm Idk if you’re blind but I have a girlfriend. But thanks for the compliment all the same. Bye.” His default pic was a picture of us cuddling. Dumb ass whore.

  104. And Ashley *high five*. Awesome! He soo deserved that! =]

  105. hahaha nice one. may be fake, may not be – doesn’t really matter, i know a few guys who’ve been just as sad, some even left their wives n families to go n marry this “stunning” chick from overseas who turned out to be a right miserable bloater. serves em right – get a real fuckin life ppl, get out there and meet ppl for fuckin real. hahaha

  106. Epic lol! Ashley ftw… ah, the joys of the internet… it makes it so much easier to catch out twats like that.

  107. So, if this is a fake account Bills gf made for this “Ashley” decoy, would he not be the least bit suspicious about her having no fb friends? I mean, I’d be a little wtf if some random with no friends started messaging me as soon as they signed up…creepy.

  108. This was so funny that I am going to find myself a woman from Nigeria over the internet. I need to so I can stop laughing!

  109. I. Love. This.
    Best thing EVER. Bill is an epic LAME-O.

  110. By.

  111. The times all being so close to one another make me think it’s fake. Doesn’t the fake facebook generator generate times around that close to each other?

  112. I think what makes this so funny, is that fact that this kind of thing happens daily regardless if this is fake or not. Although, showing up at the meeting spot would have caused a much more interesting scene. I like her style.

  113. What the hell? This is lame because Ashley is the one who sent this in right? LAME.

  114. Oh and she is psycho. Can women stop making it seem like we are ALL psychos? Yeesh.

  115. For people who think nobody is stupid enough to fall for this: Remember, he’s a guy. It’s not his brain he’s thinking with.

    This may or may not be fake, but I can totally believe that a guy would fall for this. I’ve met guys like that. And seen enough people genuinely pick up others using this method.

  116. No matter how much of a naive douchebag he was, Bill wins. He is waaaaaay better off in the long-run without this deranged psycho in his life.

  117. anyone who thinks “Bill” has the problem in this one is fucked in the head.

  118. @WaterSinger – I agree 100% with everything you said!

  119. Man, I was reading this wrong! It took me a couple of sentences into the last message to realise that it was the girlfriend meaning she would figuratively kill Billy. I thought that the Ashley chick was getting into some dirty talk “I’m gonna kill you Billyboy, then slice you up into little pieces and eat you with my greens for dinner tonight!”
    Rather like that cannibal who advertised online for someone to eat..

  120. “I can’t put a name to the face”- How about looking half a centimeter to the right?

  121. “always smells like an old lady because she never uses soap that has fragrences bc of her skin allergies.”

    Because it’s way hotter to smell nice but be covered in gross rashes.

  122. Holy shit! The girlfriend with smell problems is a psycho! Granted they are both deserving of lamebook
    Him-for being that worthless piece of shit cheating loser who tries to arrange things on the internet with a girl from out of town (is he 14?)
    Her- for doing this and then self-righteously posting it on lamebook trying to look like the champion of crazy bitch girlfriends, which if that was her goal=success… Also it seems as though she created a profile to come on here and praise herself further. That kind of crazy is terrifying.

    I bet she goes anal on the first night judging from psychotic tendencies hahahahaha

    Match made in purgatory

  123. Bwahahahahahahahahaa, I don’t care whether this is real or fake, it is still brilliant brilliant comedy, like one of those jokes where you can see the punchline coming a mile away but still makes you piss yourself laughing because it’s so well delivered. Thank you Ashley for posting it, it made my evening!

  124. @121
    There’s a guy in my office with the same problem. Admittedly he has the smell AND the rashes but personally I’d take the rashes any day. Except, you know, I would not touch that shit.

  125. wow thats a bumber…NOT! shows you not to add ppl you dont know and not to say stupid shit about your girlfriend! its a small world. some ppl appal me!

  126. what a psycho bitch!
    who does that to their boyfriend..
    it’s funny, but seriously what the fuck.

  127. @terijaye Ummm…who does that to their girlfriend? Are you one of those people that would go on Springer and freak out on the person your spouse was fucking instead of freaking out on your spouse for fucking someone else?

  128. Wow. “Ashley”‘s a bitch. He should have left her long ago if she’s the kind of person to do shit like that.

  129. Fuck’n Bill, Bro that’s what you get for thinking with the wrong head! Anybody could see this coming from a mile away. Well except you, and yes she is a psycho insecure girl.

  130. Put me in the “Ashley =/= psycho” category.

    I did a similar thing once with an ex, over 10 years ago, with AOL IM. I got the feeling that he was cheating on me, so I made a fake profile and chatted with him. And sure enough, he was all over my fake persona and wanting to hook up. I had tried to talk to him about it before resorting to this, but he lied constantly. He couldn’t lie his way out of that situation.

    I am now happily married to a great man whom I trust completely. So yay for happy endings.

  131. whatevermajorloser

    Why is Ashley a bitch/psycho? She hypothesized that her boyfriend was cheating, she tested her theory, and she was proven correct. That’s called good science.
    Cheaters are cowards. They are afraid of being alone so they don’t just dump someone before going out and looking for some strange.
    Oh, and just a side note, it is possible to have a serious relationship in 8 months. I was 12 weeks into a PLANNED pregnancy when my man and I had been going out for 8 months. 6 years later, still going strong.
    Anyway, GO ASHLEY!

  132. AHAHA! This is the best, especially the message where she is like shouting at him through CAPS.

  133. if there was nothing wrong with their relationship then why would she have to make a fake profile to check up on him? i can understand doing this but i would definitely bring up the last part in private and not type in caps how i was going to kill him

  134. whatevermajorloser

    Aleesh- I agree. The all caps “yelling” was not the way to go. She should have:
    1) Made a date for him and “Ashley.” He would go sit around somewhere and since “Ashley” isn’t real, she will never show up. He is stood up= burn #1.
    2) Never mention it to him. And since she knows he is a cheater and the relationship is over, never talk to him again. Don’t return phone calls or texts, don’t see him or meet him, I mean total shut out. He, not knowing that his girlfriend knows about his cheating and lying ways, will feel completely blown off and since he is clearly not the brightest crayon in the box, probably won’t figure out what he did wrong. In addition, will probably waste at least some amount of time trying to get ahold of his apparantly stinky girlfriend. Dump him without even telling him= burn #2
    Burn on top of a burn? Why, that’s a second degree burn!!

  135. FlapjacksAreAmazing

    That was pure gold.

  136. I haven’t laughed that much at a Lamebook entry in quite some time. I REALLY hope this is real.

  137. I was involved in something similar to this once. One of my ex’s messaged me asking if I wanted to get together and have sex. I ignored it, but then his girlfriend messaged me saying she had read it (idiot forgot she knew his password) and we started talking. We compared notes and discovered that this lying, manipulative bastard had used all the same lines and tricks on both of us. I hated him even more, because now I knew that apart from his lies, EVERYTHING he ever said and did was a manipulation. So I called him up with her on the line and pretended I was interested in meeting up with him. I asked him about his girlfriend and he said a lot of really cruel things about her that I knew weren’t true. So I totally get where this “Ashley” is coming from.

  138. Nice one, Ashley! He got caught, and I don’t feel bad for him at all! I don’t know why anyone would sympathize with him.. if he was so unhappy with you, he should have just broke up with you. There is no reason to cheat.

  139. But Crazy Bitch and Gullible Bill made such an adorable couple!

  140. I agree w whatevermajorloser “Ashley” should have scheduled the date. Then she should have not shown up, but instead, while he was out waiting for “ashley”, gathered up all his crap that was at her place, taken it to his and had a nice big bonfire awaiting him on his front lawn when his disappointed behind arrived home. Either that or she should have toyed with him online for weeks and THEN dumped his sorry butt.

  141. Wow this guy is an idiot if he didn’t see that coming. It was so obvious as soon as she asked about his relationship. Seriously.

  142. I think this is my ex-boyfriend. He was acting pretty desperate when we broke up. If it is, Ashley needs to be careful as the PFA is still pending.

  143. Oh god, Epic Win!!!!

    *bows down*

  144. You guys are retarded and don’t know the definition of psycho. A girl thinking her boyfriend would cheat and making a profile to lurk on him isn’t psycho, just really dedicated to know what’s up. Anyone who says she’s psycho is probably pricks who think a girl is a bitch when she argues with you. Shut. Up.

    Oh, and they left out the ending. I’ve seen this on a different site, where Bill replies saying HAHA, I WAS SCREWING WITH YOU! I KNEW IT WAS YOU! PICK UP MY CALLS. Etc.

  145. Oh great! The Fake Squadron again.

    1. What an arsehole Bill is. Want to have casual sex? Don’t get into a relationship. How hard is that? 8-S

    Well, that’s it actually.

  146. @Amber X: The moon is made of cheese, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are real, Ashley went Psycho and you’re a retart! ‘Nuff said.

  147. HA owned bitch

  148. this is why you don’t take friend requests from just anyone.

  149. Yes probably fake.

    Yes actually happens either way.

    Ashley is mentally unstable. Obviously she is if she would do this. She says she didn’t know anything was wrong in their relationship, yet she pulled this on him. Obviously lying and obviously has some mental issues. Additionally, guys really do mean it when they say they’re meaning to break up with someone, yet never do. Especially in cases like this. Do you think Billy would dump someone as psycho as Ashley? No, she’d probably come murder him. So he tries to create drama in the relationship so she will break up with him, or tries to wait it out until she loses interest and ends it. Otherwise she gets all knife in his sleep, or makes a fake facebook to pull stuff like this.

    I actually had one worse than this. I had an adopted cousin who was a little crazy. She talked to everyone in the family (cousins, etc) on AIM every day. She was annoying as fuck so I blocked her. She’d make new screen names to try to keep talking to me, so I kept blocking them. Eventually I switched to that thing where people not on your list can’t see your status. Thats when she got worse. She made a fake myspace using random pics and started hitting on me. (This was back in the day before myspace was ‘popular’ and you could literally add all 30-40 people from your town when you joined) I figured something was weird and her roommate (who I was kind of seeing at the time) told me it was my (adopted) cousin. I haven’t spoken to said cousin in, dunno, I think 5 years now.

  150. That’s really funny…

  151. As much as he got totally fooled, he’s actually just did himself one hell of a damn favour by being a flirtatious fanny boy.

  152. I’m actually in pain from laughing so hard…

  153. Lame!

  154. @55
    he did reply, there’s a slightly longer version he says something like “becca I knew it was you the whole time I was just playing with you. I was gonna post something on your wall but you defriended me before I could. This is a big mistake your freaking out for nothing. Cmon pickup your phone.”
    or something like that, lol

  155. LOL… he is so fucked up :)

  156. He got royally PWNED. This is great, I laughed so hard. What a loser.

    @enjoi7 I’m pretty sure that was just an excuse.

  157. lmao, he got buttfucked

  158. WOW She should WATCH what she writes she could so be charged for that! Those threats aren’t taken lightly anymore !

  159. This is kind of cruel. It’s not like they were married. Bill’s a young guy and an easy mark. Anybody could have gotten him this way. I don’t know too many young single men who would not fall for a trap like this.
    If women are going to keep letting men take advantage of them men are going to keep taking advantage of them. At least hookers get paid.

    That said, this one is pretty damn funny. Bill is Frodo.

  160. Why Does NObody else (besides #120 squidquopro) seem to be bothered by the fact that he said “I can’t seem to put a name to that face”!!! WTF guy, REALLY!?!
    I’m ashamed at the fact that took 120 posts before this was pointed out!
    I sniff an elaborate set up.

  161. HAHAHHAHHAHAHA LOVE IT! Bill can go jump into a pool of loser.

  162. I kinda feel bad for Bill. :c Poor guy…

  163. Bill was set up. I would have done the same damn thing. She just wanted a way out and this was it. Sounds like she wanted to do the dumping…

    What a bitch.

  164. Why is everyone dogging on “Ashley”? I mean she caught him in his lie. He’s at fault. Yes, if she didn’t trust him their relationship was doomed to begin with. But wanting closure to her belief that he was cheating is not psychotic, especially that, as is proven, she was right. My thoughts: If you feel bad for Bill, you probably are a cheater yourself.

  165. DAMN. busted, talk about caught in the act

  166. Id have loved to see the look on Billy’s face when he read the last msg from Ashley or whatever her name is
    Ashley ftw!


  168. LOL @ Billy you a disgrace to playas

  169. Ahahahaha, epic win!

  170. This was kinda lame. If it’s fake it just sucks. If it’s not, well Ashley got owned by her own shit.

  171. #171

    Guru says: Real. This is so true-to-life it isn’t even funny and is hysterical at the same time. I had to check my facts about cunninglinguist who said she did that to her ex 10 years ago on AOL — could it be… her??? I was only on AOL in 1993 & 1994, so I guess she isn’t my ex, Lora… I was young then, and wasn’t cheating, just shopping, I guess but it all amounts to the same lameness — it certainly isn’t an excuse for being a tool like all the rest of my gender is on any given day of the week.

    Absolutely the best one because this stuff happens all the time. It screams of true justice.

    Becca (Ashley), if you don’t want to hear about your smelly skin, your attachment issues and how your BF would rather do someone prettier than you, just don’t go there — what did you expect? Certainly not the delusional B.S. that you’ve fed yourself for 8 months, thinking that you’re anything more than a choad’s convenient bed-mate…

    Almost all men would fail this test if it were a real woman picking up a man — Ever seen The Maury Povich Show? Sure, women don’t ever hit on men or seek them out, and we should see it coming, but we seldom do — why? Men think that there are some women out there who actually do, and if a man thinks he’s finally found someone who is hot, without a boyfriend and likes sex AND flirts with the man without discussing a money-exchange, sure, only a horny fool would believe it — but men ARE fools! (When they’re horny for something that smells different than an old lady, anyway.)

    Billy, you so deserved it, and it doesn’t surprise me that you couldn’t man-up and reply with a “You’re seriously, wack, chick…” No, you had to go back to the Liar’s Club and try to play it off — “Aw, honey, I knew it was you!” – Bill, you have truly set the record straight on the definition of an ass-hat. If you’re gonna be hittin’ and quittin’ with some strange, it’s best to look for something real and tangible and stop letting girls manipulate you online into getting wood over lame how-do-you/do-me crap that doesn’t even make my Plaster Of Paris harden. Next time, talk the girl into a three-way and mention how you love your girlfriend, but she just isn’t understanding enough, doesn’t listen to you enough and refuses to meet you half-way and all that… the crap other guys’ girlfriends always feed us single guys when they want attention, but not sexual attention… Hell, tell Ashley that, unlike your GF, she’s a real good listener!
    Don’t offer to pick up the tab for a cab, talk about how your girlfriend isn’t into fun things that you like to do — things like bondage, spanking, Emetophilia, Coprophilia, watching late-night-amateur-Screw-Tube videos or even daring to have sex with other women for a once-in-a-lifetime threesome experience. By the time she’s wiki’d all that, you could probably think-up something else…
    Next time a hottie posts a frowny-face after mentioning you are in a relationship, mention that you’d love to keep your GF around if she could just wear a little perfume on her overcoat, or shave her legs with some Patchouli-scented shaving foam or roll in bacon grease or something — inform Ashley that you’ve done all you could for your GF: You’ve prayed to St. Hygiene and that it’s all in God’s hands now… Not “never wants to do anything and has become a sort of drag on my life.” Try instead, “We’ve been together eight months and she still won’t do anal or call me Daddy or let me choke her and all my friends think she’s psycho — or something like that.” Keep the ball in your court, bro-

    …This is absolutely my favorite one, because Bill is so like so many other men with nice girls out there who are fooling themselves into thinking they’re with a different kind of guy than that. Face it, ladies, all men are liars. The better they are at it, the more of an insecure little boy you will find within…”

    These folks, as many other posts here, should have learned The Lamester Guru Mantra:

    “If you don’t want anyone to know, never tell anyone.
    If you don’t want everyone to know, never write it down.”

    Peace Be With All You Lamesters,

  172. man she was pissed

  173. I’d want ot fucking kill him too.

  174. at first, when she said she was from baltimore (obviously not true once you get to the end of the post) i was like oh come on now. i’m from baltimore…we’re not all boyfriend stealing hoochies.

    but thennn she verbally kicked his ass, so i’m gonna go on pretending she’s from my town cos god damn i love this.

  175. Bill,you stupid mother fucker “if it’s to good to be true……………..LOL

  176. Or if it’s *too* good to be true, even!

  177. this is just too awesome for words!!!! “Ashley” is officially my new favorite person!!!!

  178. I LOVE Ashley!

  179. Good job, ashley.
    Cool woman!

  180. Im on Bills side. How can he want a woman who showers only twice a week and smells like grandma? She lucky he stayed that long!! Good woman? more like dirty woman

  181. Some stuff you just can’t believe is for real…

  182. Wow! If this is for real…I give Ashley two thumbs up haha. I love it!

  183. Tee hee!!! Absolutely brilliant!!!!

  184. hahahahahahahahaha! Even though this girl didn’t deserve a prick like mr pencil dick… THIS IS CLASSIC! lol

  185. Genius!!! Could’ve done without the caps at the end but still amazing!! Guys like Bill should have a Tylenol PM swallowing contest with Herbert the pervert.

  186. I think “Ashley” did him a favor… she sounds like a crazy a$$ Beaaaatch

  187. this shit can happen too


  189. herna you’re so right. Thought the same

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