Thursday, February 4, 2010

Still Haitin’

previous post: A Few Background Checks



  1. first

  2. You Suck!

  3. It’s kinda sad that people like Lauren really do exist in this world.

  4. Congratulations, Alfie. And thanks for identifying yourself as a card-carrying member of the Internet Douche Foundation.

  5. So Mariah is an offensive fail?

  6. Seriously, if that first one is real, just kill me now.

  7. yo buck buck, don’t hate the player, hate the game, bro!!

  8. I can’t quite bring myself to accept that the first one is real. Nobody can be that stupid, surely?

  9. lostintranslation

    Mariah is an ignorant jackass. And not in a funny, I-can-take-advantage-of-you-for-a-laugh way like Lauren.

  10. I laughed so hard at Lauren. Lauren should run for office.

  11. Jesus Christ I got scared thinking Mariah was me.

  12. They DO exist gingivitis… that is a good example. Look at Mariah, same specimen

  13. I know, I know, but it makes me sad :-(

  14. Right there with ya gingivitis.

  15. Man I can’t stop laughing at the first one!!!!1

  16. Will is AWESOME.

  17. Will, you are my hero

  18. Lauren is the argument I hold up every day in front of my daughter to explain why being cute is not an accomplishment, dumb is ugly and I don’t raise ugly children.

  19. Once I was invited to a wee school (posh one) in Washington to lecture a class about SouthAmerica. It was an spanish class and the idea was to make it simple and have chat for a bit. Well, I was horrified about the ignorance of those kids. You know, your country is not your world but for them was far enough and they dont even know about languages or countries in that part of the continent. This is not about EEUU, this is about the lack of interest from new generations. Here in Europe is almost the same. So, I am not impressed about this things.
    The only thing that came to my mind when I am serious is that they are supposed to be our future… then is when I feel alone and sad.

  20. Jesus christ, I suppose that justifies that I need to start talking ‘African’ instead of english now, being South African. Idiots.

  21. That first girl Lauren, she deserves every single bill she gets from those joke texts for being so darn stupid.

    The playa haitian “joke” wasn’t even good it was a pathetic attempt.

    And the last one…..*shakes head* I can’t do anything more than shake my head at that one.

  22. yo dudes whose going to the super bowl man?!!
    i’m gonna eat ma pancakes and then hit up the gym to play some b-ball!!!

  23. @yaya
    Hey don’t go dissing cute people! They give me life! Teehehe

  24. @alfiedo9: You’re a jackass.

    Haïti bombed, well it looked like it, but when a country gets bombed I doubt there will be any fundraisers for them. I loved the way how hard Lauren’s leg was pulled though, she’s a real naive kid.

  25. i like poop teehee

  26. Anonanus?

    Seems like you’re the ass….


  27. #8 gingivitis

    Sadly yes they can. My younger brother (he’s 28) didn’t know what the Holocaust was. This was two days ago. Yes, a grown man nearing the age of 30 didn’t know what the Holocaust was. He knows everything about the NFL and football cards and football jerseys but he doesn’t know what the Holocaust is.

    Sometimes I swear I have to be adopted.

  28. Who the hell watch MTV?

  29. yo Penny Lane, fuck u! tehe

  30. @freezit nothing wrong with being cute. What is wrong is that alot of young girls think being cute is all that they need in life, sort of like a free ride. Cute is not an accomplishment. Cute is an accident of birth and very much about your parents genetic contribution. So if you are cute, like me, and like my daughter, one should not take pride in it as they would in something they did or created.

  31. yaya is a total douche

  32. Amen yaya.

  33. Amen yaya.

  34. Penny Lane – that’s a bit of a shocker. No disrespect to your brother (I’m sure he’s lovely), but I guess some people really are that ignorant! Wow.

  35. why don’t gingivitis and penny lane just go fuck eachother already? the sexual tension in here is killing me.

  36. No, my brother isn’t lovely, but I do appreciate your diplomacy! lol

  37. Just got told Hatey is NOT part of the United States but a HUGE thing next to Bermuda, and sometimes connected to Cuba. And its part of Africa NOT America, which is its own incontinent. It’s like they changed the map since I was a kid, people, for real!

  38. Alfiedog09
    You are an idiot…just sayin

  39. hate when bad tempered pups yip and snap around my ankles. How very annoying, particularly when they have such a predictably limited vocabulary.

  40. JacksSmirkingRevenge

    Will FTW!!! He is my hero.

  41. Kudos yaya!

    I hate when those annoying dogs are named alfiedo9, makes me want to put on my docs and kick it.

  42. Hasians may very well speak a language called African. It’s hard to say since they don’t exist.

  43. I think Haisians probably speak Chinese.

  44. Penny, I agree with your cute people comments. My daughter whom I love dearly can be a ditz sometimes. I fear for her. Luckily she is still young enough to grow out of it.

    But along the lines of idiots, I knew a friend who when I made a comment about Marc Antony, she had no idea who I was talking about once I said not the singer. When I named Caesar, Octavian,& Cleopatra she was more confused. I get ancient history is not everyone strong suit, but she never had heard the names before.

  45. Lol @ Tim. Mariah is such a moron. Everyone knows that Haitians speak Haitianish.

  46. Will rules, only to be overshadowed by alfies ruling.

    I hope one day I can get a ‘First’ and piss people off so hard with one syllable!!

  47. wow will is an asshole… and tanner made me lol so hard

  48. To add to my last comment, Alfies posts only get funnier with each read, you are all retarded.

    Alfie, man sex my bottom please. Thank you!!!

  49. @SheepGoMaa Actually, Haitians speak Haitian Creole. It’s largely based on old French, and influenced by African languages (and a few others, but African languages are most notable).

    My brother lived in Haiti for 2 years a while ago.

  50. Lauren seems like a smart girl.

  51. Much like my previously discussed Mark rule, I also have a Will rule. Now, I was tihking of scrapping it, after a Will in an old Lamebook post ripped theh ell out of Twilight. But, wow… Will from this post… if this is real… you’re a FUCKING idiot.

    Seriously, why do all these people think that Haiti jokes are funny? Oh, people are dying, and losing their families and homes, their lives are being ruined. LOL.

  52. Anyone have Lauren’s phone number? I need to inform her that she can donate to Haiti inside my pants.

  53. I can’t believe there are people as stupid as Lauren out there. Makes me afraid to bring children into the world!

  54. @beckyboo

    hmmm, bring children into the world… like from outer space?

  55. I have one child. I love her, but sometimes I think we need to all just die out.

  56. Lauren is so dumb it made me horny

  57. @Penny Lane: Or we could all spend a hour a week watching the news? It’s very informative and keeps you current on worldly events.

  58. Watching the news won’t stop us from being parasitic and sadistic.

  59. True, but Lauren should defiantly catch 15 min. of a news program, she’s lost in the dark.

  60. insert clever name here

    @37 – That was awesome!
    @49 – er… I think everyone knows that. SheepGoMaa was joking.

  61. It was actually Yaya who made the comments about the “cute” thing…but the real problem is the cute dumb women are the ones males mostly want to mate with. You can’t fight evolution.

  62. I want to kick Mariah in the face.

  63. In a couple hundred years we won’t have a pinky toes, now that’s crappy evolution. I really like my pinky toes.

  64. In a couple hundred years there will probably only be a few hundred thousand of us.

  65. 2012, get ready!

  66. Will is a twat. But he’s a funny twat.

  67. hahah Lauren is a complete dumb ass, another product of MTV completely dumbing down our youth. Kudos to Will for having fun with a complete retard. And Mariah is just too stupid for words

  68. mariah and lauren are some dumb ditzy ass bitches!

  69. Hehe Will pwnd that dumb bitch…

  70. Haha@ Tim.

  71. iwant to stab mriah.. haiti is my neighbour contry and i really dont appreciate anythign that makes fun of them.. what happened i really unfortunate and itll take awhile to get back to the way they were and even that was horrible….. so just shove it up ur ass

  72. @Allygirl_88: Don’t be playa Hasian’

  73. @Hawkzombie oh fuck off

    and sorry for my typos.. i was pissed…

  74. @pennylane “I have one child. I love her, but sometimes I think we need to all just die out.”

    Wow, really?

    There are plenty of dumbass people out there who hold high positions within the fields of government, business, media, etc, and we’re not doing so bad. Don’t judge the future based on people like Lauren; for all we know, she could be a ten year old who has no concept of what is going on in the world & feels the need to update her facebook based on what she saw on MTV.

    As for Haiti jokes, does this really shock everyone? There have ALWAYS been jokes pertaining to every catastrophic event as far as I can remember. Some people deal with pain through humor, and some people are just sick and like to get a reaction from others, plain and simple.

  75. We’re just parasites, selfish parasites.

    Sorry everyone, party on.

  76. These all must be the status updates of American kids, because only in America are they so clueless about the rest of the world

  77. At Danceica, yes, because in the land that you are from, you don’t hate any other culture, everyone is happy and your farts smell like roses.

  78. well said, turrista.

    @Danceica, don’t be ignorant.

  79. hahaha lauren i have some beachfront property in idaho i’d like to sell you

  80. Thanks @ insert clever name here. Of course I was joking! I’ll have to remember to write NOT after a sarcastic comment, just in case people think I’m as stupid as Mariah.

  81. Limpdiesel
    February 4th, 2010 at 12:51 pm
    Will rules, only to be overshadowed by alfies ruling.

    I hope one day I can get a ‘First’ and piss people off so hard with one syllable!!

    THE GOT OWNED!! you should seriously try it some time it’s freeking hilarious. they go crazy!! keeps me amused during a boring few hours at the office.

  82. @76 Danceica – Agreed!! People need to stop making jokes about Haiti!! Its just going to far!

  83. @ Fuck Mariah’s existence is surely wasteful!! Africans don’t even speak african! Being from Africa we speak many different languages, but African is not a lanuage!! Man, Ignorant damn waste!!

  84. Wow Lauren, Major Fail! And Mariah; people like her need to have their ovaries removed. We don’t want her to reproduce… EVER!

  85. @PennyLane, never fear. I am convinced you are mistaken in your theory. Men want to boink the dum dums and yes since men are often irresponsible about birth control, there will be bastards born out of those flings. But most men I know would not care to marry one. They want women like us for marriage and family.

    Smart/Hot Chicks EPIC WIN!

  86. I feel like maybe the first one is Lauren being sarcastic. Like maybe she was a little offended that Will would try to pull a fast one on her. Will was kind of being a jerk.

    But of course, I had a friend once who was trying to give a good argument as to why pot should be legalized. She said that they should make alcohol illegal. I said “They tried that already, didn’t work.” She replied with.. “what?” I said.. you know.. prohibition… and she had nooo clue what I was talking about. Girl was almost out of high school too.

  87. Again, I cheers yaya!

  88. I seriously have never laughed so much at a lamebook entry! Lauren’s stupidity is the best thing ever.

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