Monday, April 4, 2011

Say Hello to Suroor!

previous post: Out Cold



  1. WOW,, all i can say is wow! He has no time to type even one word for skinny or fat normal guys and the he rambles on that sentence for 2 more lines!

  2. Betcha his pee-pee is small from all the stereoids….Also, us “normal” guys don’t look like we have tumors covering our body.

  3. Disgusting.
    Someone pass the barf bag.

  4. Ew it looks like bad photoshopping :/

  5. I’ve known arseholes in my time. I’ve talked with arseholes. Debated with arseholes. You sir, are an arsehole.

  6. He has a dick on his forehead. I’d tap that.

  7. Apart from looking fab ;

    – he does not bow down!
    – few females think he looks like Hugh Jackman!
    – he gets thousands of, good female, comments!
    – he is built with size!
    – he is the future WWE champ!

    Unfortunately he’s also a dead man walking!

    I hate sad endings

  8. That’s one transvestite I wouldn’t argue with.

  9. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I wonder if that guy works out.

  10. Maybe some of you ladies didn’t read the first line…. he said that he’s ‘Wealthy’… If that’s not enough to make you want to feel like you’ve been porked by a thimble right after being ran over by a sweat stained, hessian sack crammed full of heavy metal balls then I don’t know what is?!

  11. He must be like 5’1″ if he’s weighing in at 182 lbs with those tumors.

  12. I wonder if it`s Synthol or Photoshop, or maybe both.

  13. So, once all those attractive, well cultured ladies are done offering compliments to this undead, toothpick endowed boulder with somewhat of an inferiority complex, how on earth could they possibly compare any other to him? Suroor is so clearly better than all us normal (I use that word very lightly) people

    Note sarcastic voice children
    And someone show him what his toothpick would look like without the ‘roid, then we’ll see who can’t compare

  14. So, I kind of understand why there is a skull in the bottom left. It goes with his whole mental state of mind. I get that. But could someone please explain why there is a baby blue menorah in the bottom right?

    I’ve given up on the task myself.

  15. Yes I searched for him. In his about me section he rambles on about how he likes ‘kittens and very small children- too much’ I’m not quite sure how to take that. There’s lots of posing pictures to sniffer at too. He’s vile.

  16. Snigger, not sniffer! Auto correct, ha!

  17. What the everloving FUCK is wrong with his biceps? Jesus, he looks like a Popeye cartoon.

  18. He used too much Synthol®!

  19. By his own admission he has used a lot more than that, try “still using testosterone enathate, sustenon, cypionex, boldenone, equipoise, chinese gh, durabolin, nandrolone, premobolan etc. and then the legal and good supplements like nitric oxide, protein, amino tablets, glutamin, mutlivitamin, ginseng”

    Congratulations to this lady she made me sign up, incredible


  21. From his My Space:

    “Suroor. P.s.
    i know who are the respectful women of today.
    The women of today are like those 13 or 14 year old small girls who just hatched out from the egg and will use all the money of the parents and still argue why my mom is mean not allowing me to have sex with my 17 year old boy friend and y i can’t wear a nasty thong when i am a grown up garbage.”

    Ah yes, I see.

  22. BTW, his FB page is quite epic (suroor4). Much LULZ to be had reading the wall posts.

  23. “I feel like punching any pretty girl and make her bleed even though I am straight…. I am just angry that girls get preferance when even an average man is physically10 times stronger than that bullshitt” wow, so many issues here

  24. …dreamy! :/

  25. He sure loves those pants… If he is so wealthy, I wonder why it looks like he only has one pair…

  26. Ahahahahahahaaaaa!!!

  27. After looking through his photos I’m totally freaked out. He either photoshops the crap out of them or he likes his colored contacts – his eyes go from brown to blue to green and back to brown. And I can’t believe he’s 10 years younger than me.

    Also dang, this guy is so obsessed with himself I think he should get a restraining order. He reeks of desperation even more than he probably reeks of Drakkar.

  28. @ Conanarama Well that’s the only pussy he’s getting, obviously.

  29. this picture makes me want to go punch a swan.

  30. Maybe the menorah is to add some depth and fire to the photo? I too need to know …

  31. How much of this shit went through Google Translate?
    ” I might be social here on website, but Not outside & that is Y Not so many People like me much & i too Dont like those strangers & dont mind them. And that is Y i always say, ‘Like Me. Hate Me. I am just being me’. But 2 important persons Only likes me a Lot and me too back towards them. And those are my Parents. Though i Dont follow many rules, But I believe in the All Mighty.”

  32. What in the fuck?
    “I had spend a lot of time, pain, sweat, dedication, effort and Expense like hell, in being the way i am in which i am the happiest and Only because it is my big hobby. But also To go behind a Girl or to Flirt, Suroor must be Born again or in the next Generation. I will never let Down my Dignity or Self respect at any Cost.”

  33. OMG, upon googling his name and finding various hits for “Suroor Taker”, and reading what he asked and commented on various sites, I thought this couldn’t be real, or that someone was playing a very bad prank on him … but now seeing his actual facebook and myspace accounts (as mentioned here), I’m just flabbergasted … he IS real <8-[

    Some of his deeply worrying prose:

    (answers yahoo com)
    "Can you please tell me how much rest should i take under this Condition?
    I am a body builder and very obsessed with gym. i have been workingout since 8 years. but for the past 4 years i never took more than 5 days off from the gym. now i had swelling on my right shoulder due to puss or abscess with fever and the doctor had to make a small cut of my shoulder but there was lot of pus, nearly 250cc of pus only. and now it is on bandage.
    but before making the syrgery the doctor told there might be 30cc of pus inside and u might have to take atleast 2 weeks rest. but can you tell me exactly how many days i should take rest, to go back to the gym and workout atleast for biceps and triceps since i cannot stay in bed like this. After the small surgery i also saw them filling some bandage or cloth to a hole in my shoulder. please help. THIS IS MY FIRST DAY after the pus removal."

    (www drug3k com)
    "i always used clean syringe and alchohol swab. i use steroids like testosterone and site enhancing oils like pump and pose or synthol since 6 months. please i cannot go to a doctor firstly because my father will kill me and i know this disease also might. but i make up total money from my father also to pay for the whole by telling some other reasons and if i get cured also he will eat my brains later and body building might stop which i cannot think about."

    (howtostopprematureejaculation zedicate com)
    "How can i prolong ejaculation after getting excited. Please help with this sexual problem?
    When i see an adult movie and when sometimes i get excited, i feeling like masturbating and just within minutes i feel like ejaculating. before it was not like this to me. i used to enjoy for a long time. i want to enjoy it more since after ejacualting, i don’t get excited for any girl for atleast 2 days. so what to do to continue feeling excited and masturbate and ejaculate after a long time."

    (tattooremovalcosmetics com)
    "Can Any one tell me a place where there is tattoo removal in abu dhabi?
    i have a small tattoo on both of my biceps which i want it to be removed. do you know any place or hospital where the tattoo can be removed permanently in abudhabi or dubai? also how much will it cost for a small tatto and how many sessions will it take and will it leave a scar . and i am a bodybuilder. after i go for tattooo removal ,for how many days i should not go for gym? please answer."

    (www myspace com/suroor1)
    "Suroor. P.s. Friends. If a girl, who is not your relative, will ever slap you, Slap her back twice. Especially if she is pretty, i will break her face and make her bleed. Some men will come to protect that piece of shit, to be a hero. So if you workout and be strong, you can break their bones also."

    WTF? <8-[

  34. Wow, he actually has friends on Facebook and Myspace :o .

  35. wow jimmyj…
    he sounds pretty effed up.

  36. another one from yahoo answers com
    (can’t seem to place complete url’s here easily)

    “you are from middle east and even me. and u had sex before marriage. see how this world is going. i know u will say this is modern world. you are the actual example of even middle east girls changing to slutss. really women like this i feel like beating them till they bleed. u had all your enjoyment from your hormonal desires and now thinking about marriage. if u r a muslim then i can’t even think about it. allah doesnot have a modern world rule or an updated quran stating new information when to have sex. this is bullshittt. now u will feel he is the greatest and will marry and all that shittt. and i give you only a couple of months or may an year. after that you will get bored and have sex with another guy and he with another girl. u say about his enlgish culture. he is actually better than you. becuse u r a bullshitt who did this even after having a culture of the middleeast after seeing his colour and his bodily assets. i know u will never accept this advice and will think this as bull shittt, and will argue that i am grown up now. but i typed what i want, ,u take it or not i don’t care. i ask allah only one thing to see these sluts, even the ugly or pretty girls and give them no mercy in hell.

    very good knowlede about slutss.”

    Mmmm… interesting ‘Source(s’ he has…

  37. (test)
    he’s on twitter also!/suroor26


    “Dont waste my time. I am here Mainly for Straight Respectful Women Only. All girls are welcome”


    “Never Trust a Man who Cries Or a Woman who Smiles at you. Both are Frauds.”

  40. He looks like he smells bad too.


    “I wish to be in the film industry as a great Villain.”

  42. He looks like a badly-drawn cartoon.

  43. This guy is meme worthy.

  44. “Suroor. P.s. One day in my Palace, we had a dance party and every one were in a mask and a family with their beautiful Servant girl came and I danced with her and she left her shoes behind. Later i took it and tried on each girl to find out to which girl it belonged. And finally it suited the pretty girl and i told her, DON’T LEAVE YOUR STINKY DIRTY SHOES IN MY HOUSE AGAIN”

    (on his myspace)

  45. Substance-abuse-wise he reminds me of this guy;

  46. his Interests on myspace:

    SO MANY like spiderman, , godzilla etc. (i HATE movies with love stories or romance. But Horror, sci-fi, adventure, suspence films are the best) Also for example, i really liked the Tamil Movie Manmadhan, in which the Hero- simbhu, Kills all the bad women and the Cheating Girl friends and house wives of the society.”

    Likes seeing ‘bad’ women getting killed, eh…. this guy is one F****d up dangerous lunatic <8-[

  47. @ honestitus
    Hahaha, yeah, looks like some nasty swellings of puss developing there as well (albethey less severe than Suroor’s ;-) )

  48. This guy sweats awesomeness! I’m sure his caliber of women is unlike anything you have ever seen, and he will not waste his time being around normal people. He is the epitome of a royal Douche Bag. The only thing that could make this guy any cooler would be to have a tomahawk cruise missile fired straight up his ass.

  49. Suroor Ps : My pics are usually taken either by my friends who r mostly Arabs or Iranians or by my Mom or by cousins. Only pics they take. My profile is created by myself Only & only i access it. This pic is taken from my room. Few people already opened it. i dont know y you couldnt. if u have internet explorer, then try using Mozilla firefox or vice versa.
    Yesterday at 18:55

  50. I’m not very familiar with the interwebs, and have no idea how things turn into popular internet memes via 4chan BUT SOMEBODY FROM 4CHAN NEEDS TO GET THIS GUY INTO PUBLIC VIEW!!!111ONE

    (which shouldn’t be too hard since everyone has access to all of his FB pictures).

    Until my comment gets apprived – facebook-dot-com/suroor4

  51. pretty sure his biceps look like a sac of potatoes stuffed under his skin.


  52. oh my god, this guy is something else. Pity it wasn’t his dick that got infected and swelled up with pus.

  53. “With stupidity even the gods themselves fight in vain.”

    His dick may not have been infected (what are the chances?), but, hopefully, all the steroid stuff he’s been taking will render him unable to reproduce. It. Must. Not. Breed.

  54. omg his myspace scares me. he’ll never get a girlfriend because he’s a freaking psycho!

  55. My single most favourite part of his profile on Facebook: “I am a straight, 27 years old, Happy Single Bachelor and I HAVE LOT OF RESPECT FOR MY SELF. I Like WWE.”

    Uh, he followed having self respect by liking the WWE? Hahahaha…awesome!

    BTW, Great research jimmyj!

  56. I’m sure it won’t be long before someone informs this steroid-infused lover of kittens, small children, and himself (not necessarily in that order) that he’s here on Lamebook…

  57. Suroor Ps
    In my life in college or music institute, i never waited outside 4 a girl 2 get a simple mobile number. In a party i never showed actions 2 impress any1. In a gym i never went & worked out near a girl to start a conversation. In an office i never asked a girl if i could help her. Nonsense. Usual guys approach & i Dont do it because i have a Dignity & self respect. If anybody wants they approach me or else i Dont care
    March 28 at 3:41pm · View Feedback (5)Hide Feedback (5)

    Suroor Ps ok, now if U ask me towards what Suroor can approach or always wait for, then i can take 1 example and say, Chicken Biryani with chicken fry. Oh god, for how many years i keep approaching, waiting & eating it, i just like it more & more. When my mother prepares these for all, sometimes by seeing it i forget my Diet also.

    Wait… wha?

  58. I’ve known guys on steroids before, and they never looked anything like this freak. Does he have bicep and tricep implants, or did he just take that picture while he was full of pus?

  59. Chicken biryani IS delicious, I’ll give him that, kimberly.

  60. Someone needs to inform him that he’s on Lamebook. I want to see awesome comments like “The Dark Lord of The Vampire will break your Mouth I am Proud Healthy Wealthy Single Bachelor who is Strong and Proud you all Are Pieces of scum.”

  61. Okay, is it just me or was he kind of cute in his early 20′s BEFORE all the nasty steroids? Too bad though, because now he’s just totally f’in creepy.

  62. I’m with you there, dasher11. I’ve looked at all his hilarious pics on Facebook (the comments he’s attached to them are even more hilarious), and I want to know what kind of steroid/training regime he’s on to get his arms like that. They are not defined. They are deformed. He does love himself, though. He’s fucking priceless.

  63. Too much lulz by me…..I can’t make a comment.

  64. I bet he cant touch his shoulders…

  65. In case nobody’s caught it yet… there’s a ‘workout’ video. The quotes should be self-explanatory once you see it although I admit I only watched a few minutes. Boredom at work only lasts so long!

  66. WTF. He seems to have photoshopped my forearms onto his biceps.

    More disturbingly, where the hell did he get my Halloween 2007 ‘Masque-of-the-Wrath-of-Pimp-Death-Magnum-Force’ costume? I distinctly remember burning it to get rid of the curse.

  67. My ultimate favorite line of all his dumbass rambling lol- “This is Suroor. Working in Abu Dhabi, U.A.E in the National Bank. Crazy about Gym, Kittens & WWE”.

  68. “Me, Suroor. This Reaper of Souls, Even if Buried Alive, he rises back again for Revenge. So the Enemies can get their Last ride to Hell.”

    I love this guy.

  69. “Crazy about Gym, KITTENS & WWE”.



  71. What a douchebag!

    “Suroor Ps
    In my life in college or music institute, i never waited outside 4 a girl 2 get a simple mobile number. In a party i never showed actions 2 impress any1. In a gym i never went & worked out near a girl to start a conversation. In an office i never asked a girl if i could help her. Nonsense. Usual guys approach & i Dont do it because i have a Dignity & self respect. If anybody wants they approach me or else i Dont care”

    I hope he dies alone, that ignorant ass!

  72. ifitwerentformyhorse

    WTF…I…just…no words. I guess it’s the “if you can’t with ‘em, hit ‘em” philosophy? WTH is wrong with this dude…It’s like he took all the worst issues someone can have and they’re all combined, into one person.

  73. littlemissgenius

    5c4r5c4r, you’re not totally off base. He was reasonably attractive before he ‘roided out. Not worth a second glance or anything, but not the freak he is now.

    His pics are fucking priceless! Does anyone else think the photoshopped lightening bolts are just perfection? Nevermind the fact that he’s wearing a damn duster! There another pic of him and some random gym guy doing pulls ups and Suroor is just standing behind him for no apparent reason looking at the camera like he’s about to commit rape.

  74. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @littlemissgenius – Only *looking* like it, or about to?

  75. Suroor. P.s. Guys. Suppose you are spending 1000 or 1500 dhs for a Girl. Instead of spending that much amount to a bull shitt like her, to just impress for 1 day, you can buy lot of food supplements with that to improve your body. You can even get a pretty kitten which you can play with every day and feeding it will be a Good deed …also. As for the girl friend, other guys will also come latter to feed that piece of shitt. Think

    And there’s some crazy smiley face at the end of it. Damn if I don’t doubt he’s smiling just that crazy. Poor kitteh!

  76. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Uh… “If U r a Girl & If u r looking 4 a social Friendly Guy, then Not me. A guy who will keep U his 1st priority & later his parents, then Not Me. Who will do anything & even bring Mount Everest, then Not Me. A puppet who will say Yes to what ever U say, then Not me. Who will accept all Ur friends & smile to what ever they say, then Not me. If Ur friend says a slight wrong word to me, I will break his mouth infront of U.”

  77. littlemissgenius

    @ifitwerentformyhorse – I’m give Suroor the benefit of the doubt and say he was just looking like he was about to rape someone. My spidey sense tells me that he’s probably no stranger to sexual assaults though.

    Oh, and I stand corrected. The guy in the picture isn’t random, he’s Suroor’s “Iranian friend Hazza”. Funny how he identifies all his “friends” by their nationalities.

  78. I’m guessing some girl mentioned his ‘lean’ body when he was younger, setting off this obsessive need to become freakishly and unrealistically muscular. He was probably somewhat mentally unbalanced to begin with, which was exacerbated by massive insecurity, garnished with a whopping dose of ‘roid rage.

    None of which explains the kittens.

  79. Someone needs to break it to him that WWE isn’t real… I don’t want to be beaten to death for having a vagina though sooooo I’m going to steer clear.

  80. Something odd going on with the kittens, they’re all called Porter and there are at least 3 within four years.

    This guy freaks me out! Why does he hate women so much?

  81. Oh dear God.

    I had to log in, just for this guy. -cough-misogynist-cough- Do you think the picture of him with the kitty qualifies as animal abuse? That poor thing looks terrified!

    Maybe his hatred for women stems from that fact that he looks so very repulsive that he adopted the philosophy “If you can’t join ‘em, beat ‘em.”

    And he mentioned in one of the answer things that if his dad found out he was on steroids, he’d kill him…how do you NOT know? Bleh!

  82. travisthemoonstar

    Maybe he can find Girls with culture, meant for families, with standard on J-Date. That’s a nice Hanukkah costume he has there.

  83. Some of you might be disturbed by this guy, but honestly, while he might be serious, I can’t take him seriously. Everything on his Facebook profile (especially him “liking” his own pics and comments) is hilarious to me. He’s completely fucked in the head. Steroid users take note.

  84. so, i added him, looked through his pics, and one was of a famous picture that probably everyone has seen. the lady with the bandana on her head and her flexing her bicep except this one had a real woman in it. he had photoshopped hisself as a tattoo on her arm, and captioned it as though she had gotten a tattoo of him on her…. i said something about it, then after lecturing me, he deleted me. and called me ugly! lol

  85. I think I just puked up a little…

  86. LOLOLOLO HIS NEW STATUS. He fucking comments on and likes his own shit ALL the fucking time. At first this cracked me up and now I’m just getting pissed.

  87. did someone mention to him that he’s on lamebook and getting mocked?

  88. Is it me or does the hat and duster in the second pic look like it was drawn on?

  89. honestly, i was waiting for him to pop up in the comments calling us inferior or scummy females. or we’ll all jealous bitches because we can’t have those puss, potato-looking biceps.

  90. Someone needs to get on his FB and post on his wall that they read all over the internet that he cums too quickly.


    (obviously take out the word “dot” and put in a dot)

  91. this is whats written under a self drawn? oh so clever pic that says “I <3 myself + thats all that matters"

    "haha.. some new jealous trashes who r so much interested about my life has a website and spending time and energy discusing about this great man. they dont have nay other jobs. Some shitts r researching like scientists about each site i vi……sited. haha… great, so many fans. i repeat the saying, U cannot throw stones at every dog and bitches who bark. and for jealousy there is no medicine. Who cares if these people r even alive or not. i will keep going what ever i want. Let them do what ever with pleasure. i am just getting more famous. thank u"


    No words to describe, indeed.

  93. WOW Sedna. Wow.

    Lamebook has redeemed themselves forever and always just for this.

    I am absolutely flabbergasted.

  94. ” it was the 1st time ever today 10 girls added me within just 2 hours. these jealous ones r helpers also. behind special humans so many stinky mosquitos will be there. haha.. continue. but i dont have 1 minute to comment to u directly u juniors. there r several males who show the real feminism in them by talking behind. and few females who never been with a real man and trying to act superior & reacts since they felt really bad at what i write here and knows it is damn right. Remember inferior ones, i know i am right and will always do the same what ever i did till now for which i am damn proud. Jealousy? haha… no medicine. anyway try harder comments. come on. Get a relief of the envy inside u & let out the frustration by who ever belong those garbage categories against which ever i have written since the begining & who came to know about your real standard. Research more fans. research and type.”

    what an idiot.

  95. several females that never been with a real man. what? what’s a definition of a ‘real man’ and ‘feminism’ to him? i hope someone breaks through his thick skull to show him he’s not the greatest, and he’s a lowly scum that’s going to beat the shit out of people who he thinks are INFERIOR. wow. what a piece of shit.

  96. oh, i suppose he hates web because he’s Muslim, and his dad taught him to like women that are submissive and shrink-wrapped, thus creating a hate for pretty females that go for guys that actually see everyone as equal, and treats them accordingly instead of breaking their faces.

  97. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Does he seriously not realize everyone’s just making fun of him because he’s a loser? Oh, wait, he’s totally delusional, so never mind.

  98. All I can feel is relief that this guy would not like me. I think being actively pursued by him would be terrifying.

  99. Buzz Killington

    body dismorphic disorder.

  100. Makes me sad. He was only smiling in his older pictures. Before all the juice and hate. He is a very very hateful person. I really hope those around him steer clear, or help the poor bastard.
    And those freakin’ biceps are disgusting! He totally does look like popeye. Do you think he knows that reference? Do they have popeye in the middle east?
    poor bastard.

  101. bollywood_rocks83

    Y’all didn’t notice there’s a woman who has the hots for him? Comments on almost every post? Too bad he’s clueless. He could be tapping that shit.But hey,she’s a girl and allah doesn’t allow women to be slutss.

    The flickr thing was the cherry on topz.Bahahah

  102. Bollywood, that’s his sister.

  103. Love that, Sedna. Love that, too, Lulzy. Allah, this whole thing is just one sad, long laugh.

  104. Most…..epic…..lamebook…..ever.

  105. Yeah, he could be tapping that shit anyways Lulz, I feel like that’s as close to love as this poor sucker will ever get. I’m willing to start betting now he rapes her…or a cow. Or both. Just to work on that ejaculation problem. But I’m betting he goes for incest THEN beastiality.

  106. Here’s a hint, you guys… go on google and search for “Suroor Taker” and then click on the “more results from ‘’” cause there are some gems in there. including him prematurely ejaculating, wanting to beat women, loving kittens, getting pus taken out of his pus-and-steroids filled biceps….

    I could keep going, but.

  107. And yes, those roids have darkened his eyes, sallowed his complexion, destabilized his mind…

  108. This comment on a picture of his cat is equally disturbing: “My Porter. He is one among the most silent and obedient Cat i ever had since childhood. But Very good at buttering or soaping me when he needs something and later tells me, Dont disturb.”

  109. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @Lulz – Those are quite…interesting. Issues, man.

    And apparently, he doesn’t like “slutss” (why does he insist on spelling it that way?!), but Phoenix Marie is cool.

  110. This guy really needs to work on his biceps. But you really you guys are all just skinny barking dogs, he’s the future WWE champ. From what I hear that’s quite the prestigious athletic establishment.

  111. Long time lurker, first time poster. As such I know you guys have a fairly well established community of wit happening here which I’ve been cautious about joining but here goes…

    So I get home from work here in Sydney and get online to see what slightly amusing posts Lamebook has dredged up today, D.N.A. tests, okay, so called wins, meh… Then I get to the bottom of the page to witness this weird-arse mofo. Can I be assured I had roughly the same initial reaction as most of you, i.e. What the fuck is this guy selling?? I read and read and laughed in disbelief. Then to the comments; the revelations you guys have come up with here have kept me reading and laughing to the point that I’m just about having KITTENS!

  112. Lamebook, this is pure gold. I love you again <3

  113. is there a bookmakers who takes odds on people becoming serial killers?

    he seems to have all the pre-requisites: unstable, misogynistic, delusional, violent

  114. Oh hell no. Clearly his mother should have swallowed that load.

  115. What is this I don’t even…

  116. Well, stick a feather up my arse and call me a duster if this is not THE MOST EPIC THING EVER.

    lamebook, you have a free pass to post as much shit as you want (even the god awful puns).

    Brava lamebook, bravo.

  117. My nose is literally running because I am laughing so hard.
    Please please please someone tell me how to find him on FB??!!! All the Suroors I’ve found so far look like nice, normal Arab boys.
    And would someone please take those poor kittens off him?!

  118. Found it! Yuss! OK, I will say in his defence that he does genuinely seem to like cats!

  119. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @jelly – He came up for me… 7th Suroor down.
    I know… What the hell does he do with all the kittens?!

  120. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Guys! Guys! Guys! He made himself a fan page!

  121. on his Facebook:

    On the one hand he likes modest girl, always covered up properly, like a good muslima, etc.

    “Suroor Ps – A Girl who is pretty, Very innocent, highly educated, No ego, Always covered up properly, being today’s girl but with culture, who can be seen out only with family, who Dont interact with each & every Guy, who doesnot use 1 trash word in her mouth, who is strong enough 2 look after herself & has regard even 4 animals, respects All mighty & listens her parents etc. is equal to= Perfect lady or My kind of a Girl (Rare)
    06 March at 04:00″

    And it seems he has no problems using violence on girls who don’t behave like he thinks girls should behave themselves…

    “Suroor Ps – So many times Certain behaviour of some Girls make me boiled with anger & feel to kill each of them like when they act very playful, using fake voices, unnecessary laughs to catch attention, using words like Ouch, oops etc, pretending like kids, oversmart, thinking themselves as celebs or taking over freedom over men & assuming they will get anything etc etc.. All this make me feel, who the hell does she think she is. Just a single heavy shot below her ear from me will shut her up for ever. really!
    27 February at 22:28″

    But then again he also seems to get turned on by some porn star ‘slutts’:

    “Question by SUROOR -TAKER: what do you think of Phoenix marie ?
    i think she is the sexiest, girl i have seen recently.?
    i know she is a slutt and her job, but when i see the slutss who come to my gym intentionally in the men’s section when there is seperate ladies section, i don’t find them attractive at all. but phoenix marie, according me, is really my kind of girl, with the perfect face and a body to die for. for u it might be different i know. anyone accept me guys? when ever i see her, i ge turned on just by her face.

    if u think anyone in the same field is better name them, i know u might say jayden jaymes or rachel starr. they are not as hot as her. but a not at all popular star known as linda friday, is definitely close to phoenix.”

    Wow, just wow :-o

  122. @ifitwerentformyhorse – I went and checked out the fan page. He has one fan so far, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that it’s him…

    But y’know, this could be the start of something big! He may well be the next Hugh Jackman, aka Huge Attackman!

  123. 13 February
    “Suroor Ps – Really, Other than Friends, when some body even lays a finger on my Bikes, i feel to Break his Hand, even if it is a Kid.”

    02 March
    “Suroor Ps – We hear about Girl slapping boy or watch it on Tv. haha.. but in real life if , i mean if, a girl will do that and if that boy was me, I would have punched & disfigured her face and her face could be recontructed back only through a plastic surgery.”

    18 December
    “Suroor Ps
    Like how Super Star once said, Only Pigs come in Groups, Lion comes alone. So this Verbal fight is meant for the weak Group called Girls. With just 1 punch from me, She will Die.”

  124. 18 December

    “Suroor Ps
    Entry into Films is Difficult for me because even though Script Demands or Millions are offered i can’t allow Men to beat me, I can never do a Rape scene, I can never do Intimate scenes. Even if actress accepts, i will ask who are u to accept when i am denying. i can’t do a comedy scene, i cant act like a father or husband, i cant dance around trees and i can Never Sing a song for a Girl expressing Love or bullshit.”

    “But if the movie wants me to jump from a building or a helicopter myself, i will do it with pleasure. Beat so many people, i will do it. Cut myself open or Bleed myself, i will do it or be the Worst Villain, then that is my dream in movies. And another biggest problem is, in between the movie schedule, how the hell i am going to workout regularly and take supplements. So, a big problem.”

  125. 17 December
    “I like Small Kids very much. But either they Run away after seeing me or their Parents Wont allow them to go to this Monster. That is the Only disadvantage i have in being Built. But try to Understand me, Parents and Kids. This BoogeyMan can fight any Grown Up But can Never ever Hurt a Kid. Only kittens Now a days approach me.

    If any Kid will play with me, I will give u 1 Ice Cream free.”

  126. 12 December

    “Simple Things that makes or made me very angry includes :- When i was doing MBA, though not about me, the sound of the laugh of Girls on the seat behind made me feel to kill each of them / When Guys in the gym talks behind about me i feel like making them a squashed insect / When Girls pretend to be like Kids playing with teddy bear hiding the bitches in them / When Old men or women advice me etc”

  127. 12 December

    “i saw once a girl slapping a guy on Tv when he told he didnt like her & he just walks off like the other dogs. i don’t know Y the hell he didn’t slap back. If i was in his place though i am straight & likes only girls, Just 1 touch is enough & even if she is the prettiest babe I swear with full force i will Punch & break her Face & will know the strength of a man & will never think even to race her hand on child also”

  128. 6 December

    “What i write on my wall is Not directed to any respected Females or especially Few of them who are on my List. I speak against only those Sluts or whores who are on facebook and can read and understand themselves that it is being directed to them and realise themselves. There are cultured Women also on facebook who Dont fall in this category whome i treat as My good Friends or Sisters.”

    “To be frank, Like Bodybuilding my Interest is also Only on Girls. But Girls with great culture, Background etc, who r Rare. Others r trashes for me, for whome i Dont have time.”

  129. 6 December

    “As I lay down to sleep, I pray the Lord that All those sinners out there, their Soul should be mine. Sinners should die or be punished. Only i wake Up, Not the sinners. So Smart females or the Jealous trashy Men, never forget all the evil & somebody is there to Torchure & reach U to hell. Guess who is back from the dead…he is here, Suroor – The Prince of Darkness.”

  130. waiting for Suroor The Prince of Darkness to update the info on his fan page, cant wait to see what he puts !!

  131. did anyone else notice that he totally stole his wrestling persona from The Undertaker but switched it to some sort of pirate?

  132. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @moniker – You’re right, not only is he his only fan, he commented on the page in 3rd person calling himself sexy.

  133. ifitwerentformyhorse

    So, so disturbing, on so many levels… Here’s another quote, from Yahoo Answers:
    “i know a person in my gym and he is young. may be in 20s. but he acts like he has the right over many things first, though anyone knows everyone is paying for the gym and it is no ones personal property. he is good looking and shows too much attitude by not even making a hand shake to any guys ever even ignoring the built guys in the gym maybe due to jealousy, but he is not very rich or does not have fancy life style. he is like from the middle class. he comes in a taxi but well dressed. i don’t care what he is, but still he approaches me for this workout tips sometimes and then when there is no need, his shows his original colour. so 1 day i am damn sure, i want to say something to his face. because i have a fancy life style, so is it appropriate to say, not to show attitude to a person since he is not too rich. or do people from middle class or lead a normal life, not have the right to show attitude?”

  134. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Ok, apparently he’s Indian, so I don’t think he’s Muslim, he just lives in the UAE. And he angrily watches tons of porn although he doesn’t like “slutts”. This is so fascinating. Like a really bad car wreck.

    “I am an indian straight guy. i am good looking and very interested in body building. since i inject lot of steroids like testosterone including sustenon, enanthate, cypionex etc. my sex drive was very high. i am 26 and a real virgin. so i have been using testosterone since 1 year and i had high sexual interest and i watch a lot of adult movies since i am having a lot of adult channels and even on internet and i am happy with it and not interested in real sex. i watch hours of these movies daily since 1 year. but now, inspite of using the overdose of testosterone, my sexual interest is declining highly and i still watch those movies but not great interest and now started to get angry actually on those girls in the adult movies. i visited doctor to check my testosterone level and it is normal and he only told not to use steroids and there was no help.

    so actually i want to get back that sex drive since without it, it is actually like a boring life. and now days even when i masturbate like once in 1 week, after ejaculation within seconds, the sex drive is like dead for atleast 3 days. no turn on or errection even at the hottest girls with great outfits. i tried ginseng, vitamin c , e, viagra, hornyy goat’s weed etc. but no use.

    so how to get back the sex drive. please, if you are planning to type not to take steroids, or my body is damaged or to go behind a real girl or y did u post this here or some other insults or one word answers only for points, that is a very old technique and it won’t work. only those who are really interested in helping please do it.”

  135. ifitwerentformyhorse

    “Any body has a Good looking kitten in Abu dhabi.?
    My name is Suroor and i am crazy about kittens and i am looking to adopt a kitten preferably male which is good looking. i live with my parents. I had many kittens and cats and still have 1. We will give it all the neccessary vaccinations and proper food.
    You may contact me if you are interested in selling only for a maximum of 300 dhs and maximum 2 months old and minimum any.

    Sounds it is funny regarding price? so if u feel like typing and sending me something funny, no need to do it since it can lead to a long fight, which is usual for me. if u r not willing, don’t even waste time to reply. Any man or woman, Only those who have an intention to help can Mail me or reply.”

    What the hell did he do with all the other cats?????? It actually makes me really worried for the poor critters.

  136. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Whoops, nevermind about the Muslim thing, I’m pretty sure there Indian Muslims too. Not that the fact that he exists can be blamed on religion or nationality/culture. I’ve never heard of anybody this…uh, special.

  137. ifitwerentformyhorse: “I don’t think he’s Muslim”

    well, maybe, sort of, he thinks he is:

    19 December 2010
    “Suroor Ps – Though i Dont follow many rules, i have my greatest belief on the all mighty Allah. U r the greatest i know.”

    on the other hand:

    27 March:
    “Suroor Ps – One day a Guy approached me and told ‘Tatoo is Haraam’. and i told him, ‘oh really. Then pay me 3000 dhs for tatoo removal, if u r that much concerned’. People say this because:- 1.They themselves will get reward from Allah for showing me correct path. 2.Advice is free of cost. 3.They can show they know something, not realizing even kids know that.”

    I guess maybe he expects Allah to pay him the 3000 dhs to remove his tattoo then … after all he is the most awesome human being on this planet, aint he? ;-)

  138. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Uh, yeah… Let’s go with “awesome” because I can’t think of an appropriate adjective to describe him. I think he IS Muslim but also Indian.

    So many “awesome” quotes by this dude…

    “i will say about the muslim women of today or infact all the women of today.

    i know the women of today are like those 13 or 14 year old small girls who just hatched out from the egg and will use all the money of the parents and still argue why my mom is mean not allowing me to have sex with my 17 year old boy friend and y i can’t wear a nasty thong when i am a grown up garbage.
    Women of today are those respected ladies who compete with the boys in changing parters and being unfatihful.
    they are those who are intelligent enough that men are dogs who will make all the payments of their bills failing to realise that men like me also exist.
    they are those girls who wear the women if today outfits AKA Underwears, dirty thongs, see throughs or the minimum as possible..

    they are those girls , who might be muslims but try to reach the modern world and copy western culture in having sex before marriage and will ask, will he marry me and will call her bloody hormonal desires as Love. and may keep up the trend of disbelieving allah or might belive that god will forgive slutss, not realising allah does not have a latest rule or updated quran for the modern world.

    They are like the indian actresses of today who are trrying to be not like hollywood celebrities but like the adult film celebrities just with some extra payment. they show there real talent. kissing on screen is actually meant for kids now days. the trend is to even eat shitt. that’s sexy.

    women of today are those who have kids before marriage and may be will not be sure who the father is and will decide in jerry springer show and then break up and will say he is now my friend only and then marry another and occassionally meet the ex boy friend when variety sex is needed. sorry, that was the western culture always even in the past. i mean the indians and arabs are becoming like that.
    sorry, ,but the women close to me and i know are really following allah’s culture and i am happy that they are like that.
    but still, i am a straight man and a body builder and i feel to Salute this respected modern day women. but Salute in a different way, by closing the fist and move it with force to a Girl and make a Red coloured liquid to flow from her nose and mouth.

    I know now some piece of garbage girl will say , i never read that whole paragarph, infact even after reading it. to them i say, i know slutss can’t stand the insults of another slutss. and it is my wish to ask a question and no body is compeling any respected bullshitt woman of today to answer to make points.

    another thing u men don’t realise is that, even though u might be straight and girls act superior or show off or try to say we are equal to man. but physically, no girl in this life time is going to be equal to him. even an average man is 10 times tronger than a female. so if u are a body builder like me, just think, u will be 25 to 30 times stronger and your 1 punch can disfigure her or reach her to death proving who is superior and close their mouth for ever. even if it is miss world or universe. realise that men and you are not dogs. u r always superior. i don’t give a damn if u don’t agree to this.

    but think if a girl will salute me first. but just think what can a girl after all do. a small kitten when it will bite you, how much pain you get. but just think if i salute you first or in return. it will be like a lion biting on your neck. understood .

    anyway. does any guy agree to the whole para? maybe not related to the topic, but i had to say this. my wish.
    the guy or girl below me answered and i ask what is this typical muslim? a seperate category of muslims?

    you are what, a part time muslim or believe in god when u r free only?”

  139. ifitwerentformyhorse

    I need to stop reading his posts, I think I’m going blind from all the douchebaggery. He is like the ultimate douchemeister.

  140. vid he posted

    “Bus, Train and Girl (Ladki) – Never go behind & Waste your time.
    by Suroor Ps (videos)
    friends, U have a wonderful career to worry about, family members & good friends to worry about, Success and power to worry about. Even atleast if u feed a kitten daily, U will get reward from God, if U spend time on that Creature. Don’t worry about this Waste of time called this Trashy women who keep changing relations like animals or shows it shamelessly on web to see their relation ship status and change it every week or day and still act as good ladies. Ignore those and it is human nature to ignore u back. if that is done, then that is also really good, since u dont want the attention of some valueless things which anybody can get. They are low standard ones and Dont be like other Dogs. i am Not Talking about the Respectful Women, who r few. Be the Real Man who commands Respect, being with Females who have value. U need only precious ones.

    When u will be successful in life, One day a good girl might come to u. And maybe by luck it might be a family oriented and well cultured Girl.
    I am Not talking with 1 single experience even, But honestly i had many friends who spoiled their life & saying y did they go behind a Bullshitt. So, Prevention is Better than Cure.
    So remember, Bus, train and Girl. There will always be another one coming again, which might be better.”


  141. ifitwerentformyhorse

    He also has an interesting grasp of history: “yeah when russia came to china only japan was there to help russia. yeah they are using too much oil. they should stop taking oil in food. and if russia has not joined soviet union it would have been a big trouble for them. thank god, they joined.”
    I don’t even…

  142. :-)
    “Chat with Suroor P.S for the lols!”

  143. @ifitwerentformyhorse – Fascinating is the word I was looking for… As for a reason he exists, I think if he took his doctor’s advice and got himself off the juice it’d go a long way towards restoring a normal perspective to his life… On the other hand, then I couldn’t make dumb jokes about this deranged stranger so either way is good.

  144. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Oh. My. God. That long-ass rant of his a few posts back about how much he hates women? He copies it and posts it time and again all over Yahoo Answers. If this guy isn’t enough reason never to take steroids, I don’t know what is.

  145. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Yeah, I don’t know how permanent mental damage from steroids is, but getting off it sure would help not make him so damn crazy, though probably not as entertaining. He definitely is fascinating, like a case study at a mental ward or something. It’s fun looking up all this shit from the comfort of a computer, but I feel pretty bad for anyone who has to deal with this maniac in real life.

  146. also known as “philgoodman” and “Pikabrah” (google)

    and, in a few more years of steroids abuse he’ll probably end up like this


    or, like this

  147. ifitwerentformyhorse

    LOL. Good digging!
    He’s well on his way to being like those guys isn’t he…

  148. This is fucking gold.

  149. “Pikabrah = Worst troll ever”

  150. “You know those pics of synthol guys that are always posted…I saw one of them IRL”

  151. ifitwerentformyhorse

    I just googled synthol. *Blech* Why would anyone want to be that deformed? Is it like anorexia where you don’t realize how awfully unhealthy you look?

  152. ifitwerentformyhorse

    By the way, he’s probably not that strong and can’t break anyone’s face like he claims. If I remember correctly, steroids make your muscles really, really prone to tearing, even during normal everyday tasks.

  153. I like how nobody can give him “advice at free cost” but he loves giving everyone advice.

    Other than that, I don’t know what else to say, he is truly astounding.

  154. with all the boasting about how healthy he lives without any smoke or alcohol ever, and hatefully complaining about all those un-modest ‘hormon-filled slutts’ around him, it seems he is using all drugs & hormones can lay his hands on to become really ‘huge’:

    “Any professional body builders can answer this please…?”

    “so i am a body builder and i have used and still using testosterone enathate, sustenon, cypionex, boldenone, equipoise, chinese gh, durabolin, nandrolone, premobolan etc. and then the legal and good supplements like nitric oxide, protein, amino tablets, glutamin, mutlivitamin, ginseng.

    so with all these also i never got the huge arms and shoulder which i wanted. but i got it only after using site enhasing oils (seo) like pump n pose, synthol and esikclean. i have big arms like 21 inches. but now i use only synthol , since pump n pose is very difficult to get her in abu dhabi along with the steroids. i have injected in shoulder also , but it is not huge. i really want huge shoulder and forearms also.

    and yeah i always workout with heavy weights and have lot of experiance. so , are there any other steroids or supplements which i can use to be immedialtely be more huge, ,especially shoulder and forerams and more veins to be visiblea and a bit more boost in the testosterone level. my fat had already come low. i have already searched the web but same result only. so u can tell me now. i use oxymethelone tablets and injection also.”

  155. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Yeah I think “slutss” and “jealous trashes” are the least of his worries, what with all the shit he’s taking…

  156. Jimmyj you should post these to reddit..

  157. ifitwerentformyhorse:

    ” Guys! Guys! Guys! He made himself a fan page!
    www(dot)facebook(dot)com/pages/Suroor-PS/190283057681779 ”

    Is that really a page he made himself? <8-o

    commenting to himself
    "Suroor PS
    I see this hottie on tha facebook & i luv him"

    Really….? <8-[ Hahaha, it would be funny if it wasn't so sad :-(

  158. oh jimmyj- i love your dedication haha… you’re like the wingnuts newsreporter.. keep up the good work detective:)

  159. I think he should go on a tour

    “Suroors Violent Torpedo of Misogyny & Steroids Abuse -
    Happyness, Love or Winning is not an Option”

    Losing, duh! ;-) :-( :-|

  160. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Steroids FTL? :/

  161. thanks hpcan, I just can’t stop :-o

    must I be worried now…?
    am I unconsciously jealous of His Magnificent Awesomeness…?


  162. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Good name for the tour! Let’s make it happen… I’m pretty sure he’ll take cheap steroids as payment, and he doesn’t like slutts so no need to worry about that. We’ll make a fortune! Might need to keep him caged up though.

  163. ifitwerentformyhorse

    We’re all jealous of his awesomeness.

    I keep finding all these ask & answer sites he’s on (as Suroor Taker). He asks stupid questions, but also comments on other people’s questions saying “but i have now my own problem also in which your is nothing.” and then proceeds to ask his own unrelated question about steroids and pus. And it seems that steroids are illegal in the UAE.

  164. Okay then, ifitwerentformyhorse, you’ll contact him & propose to be his manager ;-)

    and let’s get him 3.4+ million followers on twitter also :-D

  165. ifitwerentformyhorse

    “i have ocd depression also which is being cured. i don’t care if i die, but i hate lying in bed and skipping gym like this. ”

  166. On Twitter he’s following

    :-o ;-)

  167. and he’s also follwing
    “The largest and hottest Night Club in United Arab Emirates”

    ooops :-o

  168. and of course he’s following
    “Updates for the Women, Mums and Young Ladies in Dubai – News/Events/Offers etc”

  169. ifitwerentformyhorse

    I just almost spit my water out.

  170. and he’s following!/AngelinaLoveOrg
    “The official Twitter account for the top Angelina site on the net, Angelina-Love.Org! We are NOT Angel! Angel does NOT have a Twitter account.”

    seems he really wants to keep track of all the despicable sluttyness out there :-o

  171. and of course he must also follow
    “WWE DIVA, Actress, Host, Model, Entertainer…i do it ALL like a PRO..because im The Sexiest of Sexy; if i wasnt MARYSE i would want to be … ”

    so he can warn the world against those evil women he’s following

  172. ifitwerentformyhorse

    He certainly seems to be obssessed with the slutts he claims to have no time for.

  173. I notice he likes kittens, but not cats.. does that mean when they get to a certain age they’re no further use?? Explains the serial kitten love.
    Poor things :/

  174. … too much awesomeness… too much sluttyness… too much hypocrisy… i’m getting a headache… :-|

  175. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @v8man – I’ve been thinking the same thing, especially since he mentioned that he’s had lots of kittens. :(

  176. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @jimmyj – I bet it’s an awesome headache though.

  177. @ifitwerentformyhorse
    yep, or rather: aweful :-(

  178. … but wait… ahhhh… that helps…. just took a nice shot of hormonal steroids, and I feel AWESOME & PERFECT again! :-D

  179. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Great! Because I was about to quote Suroor here and tell you “but i have now my own problem also in which your is nothing.”

  180. ifitwerentformyhorse

    (Sorry for the jumbled first part of the sentence above. I’m starting to sound like that moron after reading his ridiculous posts.)

  181. “but i have now my own problem also in which your is nothing.”

    Hahaha, yeah I saw that, what a nice guy he is, eh ;-)

  182. ifitwerentformyhorse

    This guy really has more issues than anybody I’ve ever heard of:

    “ok, i am a person who has every thing in life. good looks, very good body, wonderfull parents, money, house etc. and i hate getting into relation ships or friends. and even though i am straight and i am 26, i am a virgin. i am not interested in having sex with a female to always keep my virginity and only intersted in adult movies and women in that. adult movies are no more interesting and bored to me even after having lots of adult channels. and sex in personal life even if i am interested, according to my seriouse behaviour and no intrest to flirt with girls and very short tempered especially to girls who are pretty, no experiance of even being friendly to girls, in a country like middle east, no girl will even think of having a coffee with me. and prostitutes, never in this life time. i treat them like shitt. and i hate being the mr. nice guy or ladies guy.

    the thing is i have lost interest in life. there is absolutely nothing interesting to do for me. nothing more to achieve and don’t feel like achieving and showing off to any people. Marriage or kid, is another thing i can’t even think of , since i can never ever stick to 1 girl for whole life and i will stay virgin but not stick to 1 girl. and kid, i don’t figure out what is that nonsense of creating when i want to enjoy only my life and not to live for someone else. no movies i find more interesting and feel always that is acting only what is seen in screen and y i should react to that.

    i have ocd and since many years i am taking medicines for my something called repeating tendency or obsession with numbers and it has reduced so much. so it is not the disease. even in body building, i have that huge body which i always wanted and now nothing more to achieve.
    and frankly saying i am afraid of anything, not even seeing my own blood. yeah i use lot of steroids and don’t want to stop it until i am alive. and all these problems were there even before i was on them. so the problem is that i am fed up with life not becuase i don’t have something, but because i have everything and no interest too achieve anything more.
    plus i am a person who had many fights with all my relatives and donot even see them on special occasions also and i love the way i carry myself. even when i rarely visit my country alone on vacations i tell my parents to inform my relatives never to approach me though they are not happy with this. and i spend nearly 2 months there in my house only with a cook, cleaner and a driver. my problems and happiness i only discuss with my mom and dad and nobody else.”

  183. Yeah, so much issues, that’s actually very sad, very very very sad :-(

  184. He’s just a wealth of lameness. It’s fun to find each new site showing a trail to the next new site. His inability to shut up may just give me weeks of entertainment during my down times at work. Thank you Suroor. And I do hope you find your Cinderella soon:

    Suroor. P.s. One day in my Palace, we had a dance party and every one were in a mask and a family with their beautiful Servant girl came and I danced with her and she left her shoes behind. Later i took it and tried on each girl to find out to which girl it belonged. And finally it suited the pretty girl and i told her, DON’T LEAVE YOUR STINKY DIRTY SHOES IN MY HOUSE AGAIN

    Disney has nothing on Suroor!

  185. I hope he’ll place some updates soon on his facebook (or myspace or twitter) accounts

  186. OMFG! I can’t bring myself to look at any of this guy’s sites, he creeps the hell out of me!!!! *shivers*

  187. …and funny how it took a creep with Lindsay Lohan’s boobs on his arms to restore the comments section!

  188. Thread Title (His own)
    who here gona be miscin as the clock strikes midnight tomo?

    (His response to his own thread)
    i personally wont as ill be knee high in vagina after drinks + curry out

    I’m so confused… Unless he doing a play on the word kitty? Then I get it.

  189. a raply in that thread:

    ( )

    “Omg I just realized ur that disgusting synthol troll everyone makes fun of on facebook.

    What pussy do u have phaggot, 14 year old slave girls u keep in ur dungeon u phucking freak?”

    lol :-D

  190. * reply

  191. more posts of our friend there:

  192. And the award for best investigative and stalking skills goes to…….jimmyj! Holy crap that was some amazing dedication.

  193. I live in UAE…if I ever run into him, I don’t know if I’m going to laugh on his face or run away from him as fast as I can.

  194. sounds like a commercial for Uggs. i can somewhat picture this LOL

    i wear uggs on casual days(srs)

    tuck your jeans in to them and you can pull off the style if your big

    ive had many compliments and nothing beats the softness of each step you make in them

  195. Do you feel superior to the average person?

    Posted By philgoodman
    in terms of looks yes, i destroy the normal genetical physical physique a humanoid is given. In terms of am i better a person, no i believe we are blessed and each individual is better in their own…

    Ahh, I’m just a weak humanoid. But I like kitties. Hopefully that’s just enough to be allowed to live on the planet and not get punched for being a woman.

  196. thansk, blondebimbo :-)

    errrrr ….. <8-[ …..

    "my penis smells of fish
    not had sex since i showered and washed properly last night
    no cheese found around skin
    no dirt
    just bellend smells of fish/can even smell it when i just pull boxers down

    wat do?"


  197. replies:

    “Describe the situation where your nose was in close proximity of your penis.”

    “it is probably the synthol that leaked into your penis from your arms”

  198. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Sounds like he has bacterial vaginitis, but in a penis? I don’t know, I’m not a doctor.

  199. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Wait wait wait, does that mean he isn’t a virgin anymore?!

  200. devirginized by his hand probably ;-)

  201. btw, I think we should have no doubt about him being a muslim anymore:

    “Those who insult Islam will be beheaded.

    allahu akbar
    allahu akbar
    allahu akbar”

  202. Have you learned nothing?

    It’s all about the kitties!

  203. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Kittens! Lots of kittens! No cats, though.

    Let’s see, so he feels violent toward women (especially slutts), inferior(???) men (who are trashes), anyone who’s not a Muslim, and hates his relatives. That’s just lovely.

  204. Ah, he hasn’t forgotten to laugh after all:

    “Suroor Ps – Recently an arab guy whom i know and who doesnt speak english properly, wanted to give an info and instead of saying ‘in Japan there was Tsunami’, he said ‘in Japan there was Somali’. This was the time after almost a year, i laughed continously over 1 minute…”

  205. He has Spiderman phantasies:

    “At many times in the Past i have kept my hands close to a Spider when ever it was seen some where so that it would bite me & i could be a Spider Man. But either it will just crawl over my hand or Yeah i know i might just get some infection.

    But i will surely stand with any Scientific research team to do experiments on me, But only if they can gurantee to make me a Spider Man.
    30 January”

  206. ifitwerentformyhorse

    I say we use him on anti-steroid abuse posters. Each poster can have a different quote by him, and then it can say, “Don’t be like this guy.” But for reals, he needs to get off the juice. I’m sure he’d still be a misogynist, but hopefully not a violent one.

  207. ifitwerentformyhorse

    I, too, have come close to being bitten and knew I might get some infection. It wasn’t by a spider though.

  208. He also has Superman fantasies:

    “In this Famous symbol, the ‘S’ stands for Super Man. But the ‘S’ can also stand for Suroor.

    Thus we conclude that, Suroor is equal to= Super Man.
    18 March”

  209. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Regarding the S thing, I don’t think that’s quite how that works…

  210. @ifitwerentformyhorse
    “I say we use him on anti-steroid abuse posters. Each poster can have a different quote by him, and then it can say, “Don’t be like this guy.”

    :-D *thumbs up*

    … but it’ll probably only make him more convinced of His Own Awesomeness, all those ‘jealous trashes and garbages people’ making fun of him, and he’ll start injecting even more steroidal superpower shakes :-|

  211. ifitwerentformyhorse

    That’s true, he seems to misinterpret things a lot. Damn, this post has a lot of comments.

  212. another worrying photo: pic nr. 48 on his facebook

    Torpedo of Sillyness comment going with it:

    “Suroor, The Evil Crow. The Stinger can be Fatal. Being Cold Blooded, If he is on his way to the Haters to seek vengeance, Never fall to The Scorpion Deathlock. Hahahaa…. yeah he will laugh loud, when the Hell Gates open for the Enemies who confronts him.”

  213. @ifitwerentformyhorse

    “Let’s see, so he feels violent toward women (especially slutts), inferior(???) men (who are trashes), anyone who’s not a Muslim, and hates his relatives. That’s just lovely.”

    and let’s not forget:


    “I hate Gays and Lesbians and i fell like beating the shit out of them. i wish all of them were dead.”

    “And i feel like beating the shitt out of people who are gays or lesbians. That much i hate them.”

    and, can’t remember if we mentioned this one already:

    “I feel like puching any pretty girl and make her bleed even though i am straight.”

    Great :-|

  214. www(dot)facebook(dot)com/pages/Princess/23202056628

    He’s a fan :D

  215. “Damn, this post has a lot of comments”

    Well, we wouldn’t want to disappoint Suroor, now do we? ;-)

  216. ifitwerentformyhorse

    So basically everyone who threatens his…uh…masculinity. Which seems to be just about everyone. He sure brings up being straight a lot too. He slightly reminds me of a dude I knew who said all girls who look hot are “worthless”. Kind of weird, pathological hatred.

  217. ifitwerentformyhorse

    (My last comment was regarding the types of people he hates.)

  218. Kinda weird how when he mentions beating women, he adds “even though I am straight.” What does that have to do with anything?

    @ifitwerentformyhorse, you’ve got a good point. A good, creepy and sad point.

    And who all saw the pic for his fan page. That poor, poor kitten :( Hopefully one of its claws will slip out and puncture those pus pockets (gross!) he calls arms

  219. ifitwerentformyhorse

    I wonder if he hates pretty girls so much because he is SUPPOSED to want them, but doesn’t. I mean, I hate to jump to the “he’s just repressing his gayness” conclusion because it’s so overused, but I’m starting to think it could be appropriate in this case.

  220. I think it’s painfully obvious that the guy is homosexual and feels really awful about it. I don’t know anyone else that makes sure to let people know he’s straight THAT MANY TIMES. At first he was funny and now after reading all of the Yahoo Answers and all his FB posts and shit…. he just really pisses me off.

  221. littlemissgenius

    I’m kinda thinking Suroor isn’t a repressed homosexual because he seems to lament about women too much. I think he was repeatedly rejected by women because he’s weird to begin with and probably creeped out any woman he’s ever come in contact with. I think he started working out and doing steroids thinking that would get him a chick but was still rejected because, again, he’s fucking weird. I think that just made him into the bitter, misogynistic asshat we’re laughing at today. Most guys who go on and on about the majority of women being sluts are just pissed that they can’t get laid, so they paint women as being dirty whores they want nothing to do with when they’d really give their left nut to sleep with any woman who will stay still long enough.

    Then again maybe I’m overthinking this and Suroor is just a kitten-loving repressed gay guy trapped in a pus-filled ‘roided up, disgusting body.

  222. I have been lurking here for a year and only suroor has been sad/funny/pathetic/disgusting/scarry/weird enough to make me join to leave a comment.

    People: This guy needs help. he has issues. we shouldnt laugh (even though we do) this guy needs serious therapy/lock down/ brain surgery, whatever….

    look at interviews with Manson and you will see what i mean. This guy has problems, and i wonder how many more like him are out there; this is sad.

    shame is, he looked better before his drug abuse. i feel very sorry for him, specially once he realizes hes a joke all over the internet.

    went to his fan page he created himself…. pathetic loser, i wouldnt want to be him for half a second!

  223. i feel sorry for whoever marries (arranged marriage or not) this fool. he hates women, cant get it up, and when he gets it up, he loses erection after a few minutes. is obsessed with working out, loves kittens (but no cats??) wonder what happened to his kittens once they werent kittens anymore. thinks all women are sluts yet loves porn and porn stars. has puss taken off his shoulder, is addicted to steroids…. poor guy, he has wasted his life. i wonder what will happen once he finds out hes out here. or when his boss finds out hes out here.. i cant believe he posted all that stuff with his real name. dumb ass – woman hater- loser! (i do feel sorry for him but he isnt making it easy to have sympathy).

  224. ifitwerentformyhorse

    He knows people have been making fun of him. He’s posted about it on his Facebook page. Luckily for the women out there, he has expressed that he never wants to get married or start a family. Hopefully he won’t change his mind.

  225. I like how Suroor flips out on an old friend of his … weirdo

    Midhun Minu
    bro,,,, do u remeber me!!!!!!!!!!!!
    March 1 at 10:16am · View Feedback (9)Hide Feedback (9)

    Suroor Ps yes. U were in Sunrise Abu Dhabi in Our batch in 11th or 12th std, dont remember exactly which year. And i know U might remember me as the Keyboardist Only, Not as a Body Builder. Anyway U can find so many of the Old classmates also here on facebook. i Added only few people whom i really know, Not all.
    March 1 at 10:52am
    Midhun Minu where are you now
    March 3 at 9:06am
    Suroor Ps Ive been always in my place only and that is U.A.E. But I dont meet any of the past school or College mates. I am busy in my world. Now also i am in Abu Dhabi and want to be here itself.
    March 3 at 9:11am · 1 personLoading…
    Suroor Ps ANY HUMAN CAN CHANGE. I AM ALSO A HUMAN. and i am still a keyboardist
    March 3 at 9:57am
    Midhun Minu oh hooo…. hope u r now a profesional keyboardist
    March 3 at 10:02am
    Suroor Ps i live like a king and is damn proud of it. If u dont create a problem , i also wont since i am least interested in any indian or malavaari or any males. But even by mistake any one comes to get a relief of his jealousy and pass trashy comments, I am a king in fights also. so better is to mind his own business.
    March 3 at 10:09am
    Midhun Minu u canged physically a lot dude but mentally u r the same great suroor which i know since from our school,,, why u r getting tensed brother,, be friendly,, God send us all to love each other, ,,,,
    March 3 at 10:45am
    Midhun Minu from ur past conversation u r saying u dont want to keep a relation with me right,,,,, no problem dude,, god bless u brother,
    March 3 at 10:46am
    Suroor Ps what the hell is relation? U make friendship with males and relationship i will think of making with a Girl 1 day. U approached me said hi and i added u and thats it. like this Only all the past friends came and say hai bye and We have our things to take care of in our life. Nothing more. i have lot of friends and also hai bye friends.
    March 3 at 10:52am · 1 person

  226. Suroor needs a new LB entry! He needs to go viral!

  227. @shannonlee

    well found – that is incredibly disturbing!

    I’ve finally managed to get through all the photos. You think his boyfriend took all the close-ups?

  228. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @shannonlee & v8man – Disturbing indeed! After reading that exchange, I went back on his page to see if can find more lulz… Sure enough it didn’t take long.

    “People who give Missed calls to my mobile, Dont even imagine that Suroor is going to call U back who ever U r. i never did it & known people who really wants something, calls me. I gave my mobile number here Only when i had to verify my account. And I will Never even attend any call of any stranger male or Female.”

    “If this is my Account and if my Name is Suroor, i will never ever send a Friendship request to who ever it is Out there. From my account, i will never send request to U even is you are a ruler of the world or Miss universe. Suroor only gets friendship requests from others and will think to accept only well cultured Women with standard & Friends. Others Dont waste my time, i am repeating again.”

  229. ifitwerentformyhorse

    I’d ask what the F he’s on, but we already know.

  230. I had to log in on Facebook just to see this guy!! What a fucking EGO!!! his body is a complete pooped wreck! I’d love to cut off that huge lump on his biceps and fry it infront of him.

  231. We need 1000 comments on this psycho

  232. What a douche. I added him for a bit but he ended up deleting me when I posted the URL for this on his wall. He actually has a couple girls that talk to him?!?!?!? What is wrong with them?!?


  234. What is this, I don’t even…

  235. I, like lamebooklurker have been a fan of this site for a while, but simply had to join because of this fool, nay, TOOL of a man. At first I thought he was taking the piss, surely no one could possibly think or behave like that, let alone post those thoughts and I was kind of hoping his attitude and outlook were as fake as his “Reverse Popeye” arms. Sadly……….no, he’s real, very delusional and very scary. I checked out all of jimmyj’s links (thanks for the extra lols) and ooooo boy does he need some schooling in all sorts of areas, like, how about you don’t use the same username all the time, especially when asking stoopid embarrassing questions on yahoo.

  236. if he wants to grow even bigger, maybe he should ask advice from these guys:

    … oh wait, he doesn’t take advice easily… but, maybe he will in this case, because some of these guys obviously have injected even more steroids than he has…. so they aren’t the regular ‘shitty thin or fatty jealous trashes men’ … I hope he can handle their superior Awesomeness however… otherwise he may just choose to crack their faces and break their bones :-o :-( ;-)

  237. @sixstringer
    “I, like lamebooklurker have been a fan of this site for a while, but simply had to join because of this fool, nay, TOOL of a man.”

    Same here ;-)

  238. The man whose arms exploded

  239. He shouldn’t talk so much shit. His shoulders probably can’t lift his arms well enough to throw a punch.

  240. Bigger than Chuck Norris! Go get him, Internet mob!

  241. He asked:

    “Can you tell me if i look handsome or just average from my pic link shown in the details column”

    ( )

    He got a reply: “yes”

    Then he asked:

    “yes means, just average or very handsome. and r u a girl?”

    ( )

    end of story ;-)

    Alas, the pic in question was on myspace, but it’s not there anymore…?

    ( )

  242. isubmittedsuroor

    People commit hate crimes against him, Lol…

    “Today, which ever bast*** broke my bike’s antenna out of envy & if u r reading this, u could do it only because i wasnt there infront and U coward could do it …when no one was watching. U might be still walking or your blood didnot come out till now because i dont know who u r & U r away from me. Otherwise begger junior, U will be in I.C.U and i will be in jail with relief by now, i swear. Just once come in front of me and try
    March 24 at 3:36am.”

    …and yes i am the one who submitted this douche to lamebook, thanks to Dafc III for finding his profile. cheers!!

  243. I did find another cute pic of him however, probably from a few years ago, and probably pre steroid-abuse, where he looks fatter than we are used to

    It’s on a Latvian dating site, go to the home page first ( to set the language to english (see the little flags, upper left corner), then go to his profile:


  244. Thanks, isubmittedsuroor and DafcIII! :-D

  245. our man on a Hindi dating/marriage site:

    My Partner Preference
    Bride’s Age: 18 – 36 Years
    Height: 4 Ft 6 In – 6 Ft 2 In / 137 Cms – 188 Cms
    Marital status: Any
    Physical Status: Doesn’t matter
    Smoking Habits: Doesn’t matter
    Drinking Habits: Doesn’t matter

  246. isubmittedsuroor

    You are most welcome jimmyj, we are committed to finding douche bags and exposing them to the world. :)

  247. Jimmyj, I’m afraid you are getting a bit obsessed with Suroor Taker :P

    By the way this Latvian dating site is blocked in UAE :(

  248. @Imisszombiekid: obsessed? Moi? :-o … you think so…? :-|

    Maybe you can access the site via google-translate…?

  249. if you can access the translated site, click on the tabs

    “Par mani izskats ģimene Darbs Dzīves stils Ieradumi”

    to see his other info

  250. Why the hell are these guys in that bodybuilding forum calling each other ‘Brah’?????
    Maybe they think its cool (which is super lame) or they are trying to say “Dude…you got Man boobs…get a bra” :/

  251. and those numbers under his picture from 1 – 10 are only for voting, no other pics are hidden there …

  252. Doesn’t work. Normally I’d use a proxy, but I am not that interested in this weirdo to go through so much trouble :P

  253. Most recent douchetastic post from the uberdouche:

    Suroor Ps
    I dont create fan pages since i dont have bloody time for that nonsense. Some haterz r working day and night for me trying to bring a relief for their male jealousy which is in turn helping me to be famous. Actully they show the real feminism in them, due to their deep worries in Not becoming special in life. So try talking against some great men.
    42 minutes ago
    Suroor Ps likes this..

    Suroor Ps Fake Pages of myself r Not created by me in facebook. i have only this single page. Fans do the rest of the work. As long as medicine is Not discovered for envy and jealousy and story makers r there, there will be fake pages of mine created… by jobless trashes. Continue. Try stronger provoking comments. try your best against the best. But u can only bark looking at the star. My single hair wont move. No more time to comment on these silly things or for these poor fellows working for pennys daiy who cant imagine luxury. Anyway i am getting more girls requests with your help. Haha.. thanks envy Kiddy idiots. Bark.

  254. @Jimmyj Surror taker has taken over your life :D
    I’m guessing you had like 3 hours (or less) sleep and you have been researching about the guy for like 24 hours now.

  255. At least his single hair won’t move, pfhewwww, that’s a relief :-D

  256. @eileendover: Ah you just beat me to it. Was just coming here to post that. It’s hard work being “haterz”.

    Also; I still don’t understand the baby blue menorah in the bottom right of the picture! Maybe I never will.

  257. @Imisszombiekid
    I’m very good at multi tasking, in fact I’m AWESOME at multi tasking, not at all difficult for me, and who needs sleep anyway?
    Sleep is for the lesser trashy garbages kind of humans :-p

  258. I hope he realizes that all those requests he has been getting from girls are probably just from people wanting to make fun of him some more. Poor, poor fella if he hasn’t figured that out yet.

  259. @jimmyj: By “lesser trashy garbages kind of humans” I guess you must mean women slutss and jealous trashes? :P

  260. @krissatina
    Nooooooo :-o

    hey, how did you get that :-p smily? :-o

    :P …. ahhh, I see ;-)

  261. Jimmyj you mean..jealous inferior barking guys???

  262. I really really hope I never run into this guy..UAE is a very small place :O

  263. @jimmyj: To be fair I think that pretty much anyone who isn’t Suroor God of Awesome himself is represented in the “lesser trashy garbages kind of humans” category. ;)

  264. @krissatina April 6th, 2011 at 6:59 am

    that’s what I meant ;-)

  265. jimmyj: Give me a few years and lots of steroids and maybe I’ll be able to rival him. I now have a goal in life. Yessss.

  266. @krissatina

    don’t do it brah, just don’t, you hear me? :-o

  267. ifitwerentformyhorse

    He lists the exact building where he lives, his parents’ and sister’s names, where he works, and that his job is boring on those dating websites. O_O

    Who does that?!

    So I think I’ve put together his bio… He was skinny and into music, then he became fat and got into working out (how does that happen at the same time?) and went on the dating sites to find a girlfriend, but still couldn’t find one, so he started taking steroids and hating slutts. Sound about right?

  268. @krissatina if you do make sure you watch his workout video.

    @ifitwerentformyhorse I think you just about got it. Except for the part where either some slutts turned him down because he was too skinny and/or fat for them or the slutts dumped him for a bodybuilder type guy.

  269. @ifitwerentformyhorse
    and lost his ability to smile… yes, sounds about right… errr wrong… errr well, yeah …

  270. ifitwerentformyhorse

    You know how he keeps saying he’s very wealthy? He listed his annual income on that 2nd dating site that jimmyj found, and it works out to $42202.1600. As in about 42 grand.

  271. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @jimmyj – Yeah sorry I skipped that part. But we don’t have all the details yet… (Do we want all the details? I’m not so sure.)

  272. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Oops, I meant that last comment for eileendover.

  273. 42 grand…

    Mmmm, yeah, that’s not so much then…

    and on the Latvian dating site (Last login: 2008-09-26) he says:
    “My income: $3,000 – $10,000 per month”

    Mmmm, that’s about what I extract from the stock market while doing a bit of multi tasking here ;-) Suroor, you hear that boy? I’m more wealthier & awesomer than you are! :P

  274. just joking, eh ;-)

  275. @ifitwerentformyhorse – thats actually a decent amount for UAE (a dollar = 3.67Dhs) but yeah doesn’t make him wealthy. Maybe his father is rich.

  276. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @Imisszombiekid – That’s not middle class? I thought the UAE was a fairly wealthy country. Hey, he listed his father occupation too, maybe someone can look up the salary for that. :p

  277. ifitwerentformyhorse


  278. @ifitwerentformyhorse – only the UAE nationals (Arabs) are wealthy, with average 12000dhs a month you can live a good life.

  279. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Ok. It just seems like a decent amount anywhere of course, but wouldn’t make anyone rich in my book. Not enough to look down on trashes. ;)

  280. Suroor Ps
    Mother’s Day, Friendship day, Children’s day, Days to make people Aware of Poverty or other disasters in the world etc, though all of these r man made, these will Not be that much popular or mentioned by all. But there r some Bullshitt days like Valentine or TRASHentine’s day which will be planned or celebrated like hell even 10 times more than Eid. These trashes get what they Really want from this nonsense day only.

    Wow!!! TRASHentine’s day :D

  281. ifitwerentformyhorse

    I’m not familiar with that holiday… Is that when you get to show your garbageman appreciation by buying him a gift?

  282. Its a day dedicated to all ‘trashy garbages kind of humans’ and by that I mean…people who are not Suroor :P

  283. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Well no wonder he hates it! Trashes be trashin’ yo.

  284. Suroor Ps
    I am going to make a Sci-fi Movie named SuroorinaTor. It will be such an awesome movie that the Director will be Me, Producer me, Actor me, Villain me, Script me, Music me, Lyrics me, Cinematography etc me. And i know who will Only watch it…… Yes, Me.
    12 January at 18:18 Suroor Ps likes this.

    At least he got that right ;)


    “I like these tomboy type energetic Girls who take the lead, But still who r innocent, mannered, not loud mouth, with standard, well Cultured”

    must be a razor-thin line between being liked as a “tomboy type energetic Girl who take the lead, But still who r innocent, mannered, not loud mouth, with standard, well Cultured” and getting your face smashed on trashentine’s day being a trash because you’re either pretty, laugh too loud, touch him by accident or say ‘ooops’ or ‘ouch’ :-|

  286. @Imisszombiekid

    Hahaha, that’s epic, about the SciFi movie :-D

    funny also are these later-added comments there, after someone proposes that his cat will also be watching the movie:

    “Yeah man thats also right. My kittens always looks at my Tv when it is in my room. But Only i will watch my own movie with great interest & feeling myself how wonderful i myself made the Movie. But even when the kitten is watching it is Not understanding anything.So, Bad kittens in that case, cant appreciate talent.”


    “And man, Dont forget my Parents and Sister also, who will be forced to watch my movie and they have to bear the torture. Anyway My movie is the Best movie for me and i am the Best Villain. Oscar goes to me Only.”

  287. ifitwerentformyhorse

    I like how he obviously copies and pastes a lot of his stuff. (Or saves it all on his computer?) This is very similar to the tomboy comment:
    “I like these strong energetic Girls who take the lead, does their things alone, But still who r innocent, mannered, not loud mouth, with standard and well Cultured, Very Much.”

    Does their things alone? Is that code for masturbation?

  288. “Is that code for masturbation?”

    Noooo, can’t be, masturbation is haraam in islam :-o
    … oh wait…

  289. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Ha! Well, it’s only okay if Suroor does it. While watching porn. While thinking about slutts. Angrily.

  290. Ha! So wealthy he needs to lie to his father about the reason for going to the doctor because he (the father) has to pay for it?

    “please i cannot go to a doctor firstly because my father will kill me and i know this disease also might. but i make up total money from my father also to pay for the whole by telling some other reasons and if i get cured also he will eat my brains later and body building might stop which i cannot think about.”

    Also – did you notice that his father’s boss runs the bank that he “works” for?

  291. Another Suroor gem:

    “If you are a Good looking guy with incredible body and straight and still ignore Girls, what will Girls feel.?
    Suppose you are in the Gym or in a place filled with many Girls and you are a handsome guy , ,very well dressed with incredible body with muscles and straight. and you carry yourself very seriously and never even look at the face of even the prettiest girls and continously ignore them and leave the girls for other guys who are your friends, ,to flirt or talk, but you never approach them or always ignore them even if they wear some revealing outfits, what will the Girls think. i know some girls won’t share this secret. but those who are willing can please reply. and if u r planning an insult to type back, i don’t know what u will gain and there will be no use. i just wanna know the psychology.

    tell me frankly will the girls feel that they are not attractive to me since i am too good looking for them.

    i know with one guy doing like this won’t affect the girls, since they might have many hitting them. but this will atleast satisfy myself that i am not one among those men and i have more value then any pretty girl. if the girl wants let her approach me, and y follow this same principle of life and i can be happy within my self isn’t it?”
    11 months ago

  292. Also:

    He desperately wants to get rid of his tattoos”

    “Can Any one tell me a place where there is tattoo removal in abu dhabi? i have a small tattoo on both of my biceps which i want it to be removed. do you know any place or hospital where the tattoo can be removed permanently in abudhabi or dubai? also how much will it cost for a small tatto and how many sessions will it take and will it leave a scar . and i am a bodybuilder. after i go for tattooo removal ,for how many days i should not go for gym? please answer.”

    But can’t afford it:

    “Suroor Ps – One day a Guy approached me and told ‘Tatoo is Haraam’. and i told him, ‘oh really. Then pay me 3000 dhs for tatoo removal, if u r that much concerned’.”

  293. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @dory – Yeah, at first I thought it was one of those deals where his father got him a job, but now it seems like he doesn’t have a job to begin with (or at least didn’t).

    I don’t get this whole valuing yourself thing by not looking at girls either. Then again, I don’t get anything about this guy.

    Wait, his father will eat his brains?

  294. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Maybe illegal steroids are just really expensive?

  295. I don’t get it. His doctor knows he takes steroids, why haven’t they alerted the authorities about this?

  296. ifitwerentformyhorse

    I wonder if they have patient privacy laws there too.

  297. @ifitwerentformyhorse I’m sure they are – he is always going on about how expensive it has been for him to get his body into this shape.

    Go figure. Excuse the pun! :)

  298. @ifitwerentformyhorse @jimmyj: you guys are awesome – thanks for making my day!

  299. SUROOR -TAKER says:
    February 15, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    here in abu dhabi – u.a.e – i pay 350 dhs per month for my gym. that might be nearly 100 dollars per month. but since i am obsessed of body building, extra i pay nearly 2800 dhs only for my food supplements and steroids, hormones, site enhansing oils etc. so gym fees is nothing. but this is for people who want to be like professional body builders.

  300. @dory
    thanks :-)

    of course we’re also doing this to give a boost to Suroors ego, so he can give us some more duh, winning* updates ;-)

    * in his dictionary, in ours it’s losing ;-)

  301. also ‘funny’:

    photo no. 1 on his facebook:

    “Me, Suroor. P.s. in Rock Gym Abu Dhabi, doing Shoulder Shrugs during my routine evening Workout.”

    “Suroor Ps – Thanks to all those Who liked the Pic. U all belong to the group of Good humans.”

  302. photo no. 2 on his facebook:

    “Me, Suroor on my 2nd motor bike, customized Hayabusa 1300, in Abu Dhabi. The Prince of Darkness on his Extreme Beast.”

    comment, after his sis liked it:
    “Suroor Ps – Thanks. Yes even i myself liked this Pic the most and will give it rate 10/10. What a great Man Suroor and his awesome bike is. Mind Blowing.”

  303. photo no. 38

    “Me, Suroor on my Customized Suzuki Hayabusa at night in Abu Dhabi. My 2nd Bike. Actually on the tank you can see my own pic and the Dead man’s pic below it. But my Helmet is Not there in the pic.
    The strong Knight on his Awesome Extreme Bike.”

    a comment:
    “my favorite color too! what’s her top-speed?”

    his reply:
    “Thanks. But please never refer to it as Her. All my bikes are definitely male Only. …”

  304. I keep seeing him say “feminism”, even of men? I wonder what he thinks that word even means?

  305. I can’t figure out this obsession with him, I don’t deny its pull on me either. I just want to verbally abuse him…or to make a problem for him in which mine is nothing.

  306. Thanks, isubmittedsuroor and DafcIII! for submitting this gem here.

    I couldnt even sleep last night thinking of Suroor! hahaha I woke up hysterically laughing this morning and i thought “man i have been having some pretty shitty couple of days, but thanks to that AHole Suroor, thats over! i havent feel this good about myself and life in a while now.

    I mean, we all got issues, but this MFER makes my life look sooooooo good and normal and happy. Thanks Suroor, you Fking loser!

  307. Lets speculate:

    Suroor was a cute but shy and too skinny, keyboard player in high school and couldnt get the hot girls

    so he got pissed and ate…. then he became Suroor, the chubby, still shy and slightly bitter loner who still couldnt get the hot girls, because he now was fat.

    so he figured “i am going to become bodybuilder and show those sluttes what they are missing. so he injected drugs into his body, got “decked out” with some horrid looking karate pants (which he never washes “for effect”, rides in his “top of the line” 2005 truck (in 2011) hahahaha and stopped smiling (for more effect)

    problem is: he is now a grotesque, deformed, mean, abusive, paranoid, borderline, loser who STILL CANT GET HOT GIRLS


  308. Ummm… remember how he despises Valentine Day?

    “But there r some Bullshitt days like Valentine or TRASHentine’s day which will be planned or celebrated like hell even 10 times more than Eid. These trashes get what they Really want from this nonsense day only”

    Well well, what is happening here then? :-o

    “We Are “JUST GOOD FRIENDS” !!”
    facebook –> /weareJUSTGF#!/weareJUSTGF?sk=wall&filter=12

    Wall messages:

    Don’t go looking for love, let Love find you. Have lovely Valentine!
    February 14

    Suroor Ps
    nice page…
    anyway just joined…
    Sunday (April 4)

  309. *April 3 it was

  310. This is another one he copied and pasted several times to ask in different forums on Yahoo answers.

    Suroor-Taker “If suppose you are a good looking straight guy and what can make a girl feel insulted if suppose she is pretty also. maybe not even through words. if i ignore her ornever look at his face, will she feel insulted. or if suppose you are very friendly with the guys only and never even approach and talk to her and let other guys talk to her, ,will she feel insulted ?
    please dont tell me this is the wrong section to ask. tell me frankly what can make a girl or any woman feel insulted and angry even if you are good looking, well dressed, smell good or is silent. since i am a guy who i feel myself good looking and who has a habit of not looking even a pretty girl into her face or just don’t care or ignore even if she is wearing something revealing even though i am straight, since i like to carry myself as a seriouse guy. i know some girls don’t want to reveal this secret. this is not for some evil intention and even if it is, what, the girls don’t have other guys, only me?
    i just want to know the psychology.”

    But the kicker is his later replies to those answering

    Suroor-Taker “Additional Details
    i knew there might be insults involved. like that guy. whose name itself has no grammar. you don’t understand what i typed this clearly because you yourself don’t know english. and remember indians are the people who speak english with grammar even better than the americans. people from u.s. only knows how to invent new and latest abusive or bad words. that’s all they are good for. and mainly people are not allowing emails back to them after answering since they are afraid. they just type an insult and escape in the fear of getting an answer to them back. it is my wish to ask. you don’t trty to act smart by answering as if u know everything.

    11 months ago
    and i now u are really acting smart because u understood every single word i told and for that onyl u gave the reply. your intention was only to insult mr. it’s me back or what ever it may be.”

    Truly delusional….I think anyone in the field could probably come up with an accurate diagnosis based on his postings alone. Already his life history has been reconstructed…and probably with stunning accuracy.

  311. I find it amusing that he claims he speaks English and is a Liberal. Oh, and he’s B+ if anyone would care to donate blood to him.

  312. i am tempted to become a fan of the fan page he made himself and let it rip but i am a girl and only 5 foot 2 so i dont want any trouble (this guy is crazy enough to fly to someone’s house for a beat down, and since i know how much he hates women, well…. i better not LOL

    ABOUT THE SECOND PHOTO (where hes trying hard to be the undertaker) i also dont understand the skull and the menorah (but his muslim and he DOES have hate issues, so it wouldnt surprise me one little bit if it stands for “death to the jews”

  313. Come to my house lamebooklurker if you are not of the trashy type and clean to touch.

  314. uh ohhhh … :-o (dot) com/photos/61447908@N05/5596177380/

  315. title of the photo above:

    “Suroor invites a girl to his house” :-o

  316. LOL LOL LOL SORRY Suroortaker, I AM of the trashy type and dirty to touch, i also dont want to be slapped, ignored, hurt, humiliated and eventually killed by your sorry ass! hahaha

  317. @jimmyj


  318. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Thanks @dory!

    @nena – I don’t think he knows what feminism is any more than he knows how to communicate like a normal human being.

    @lamebooklurker – He’s brightened the past couple of days quite a bit for me too. I’d been having a huge pity party for myself, but it’s over and I’m on my way to resolving my problems! All thanks to Suroor!

    @spitzer – Ha ha that’s great he was lecturing people on their English skills! Now, normally when English is somebody’s second language I give people a pass on the grammar. But only until they insult native American-English (or English) speakers and call me a trash! :p Also, I’m fairly certain he could be classified as a delusional narcissist, but then again I never went into psychology because I’d like to stay away from crazy people.

  319. ifitwerentformyhorse

    surortaker just might be the best Lamebook user name ever.

  320. This is the best Lamebook post ever, nothing will top the awesomeness of Suroor in all his woman hating, narcissistic glory. I have laughed so hard the past couple of days, not just at him but at the comments above……jimmyj…..ifitwerentformyhorse…..lamebooklurker…..spitzer…..thank you all. I don’t want this to end but I’m secretly hoping Suroor gets a place in the new listings of the Urban Dictionary……..just think of the possibilities his name could define.

  321. I’ve just discovered this lamebook treasure! Oh why didn’t check LB two days ago? Oh the rue!

  322. Oh and he blocked his page on facebook, I though he was above the jealous without medicine?

  323. Has anyone else noticed that his sister is the only one to tell him how built he is? and it always complimenting him?

  324. @lamebooklurker

    My theory is: he was a sweet gay boy who couldn’t be gay because of his religion/culture, so he got built up and started taking steroids in an attempt to become more “manly”, but ended up hating women even more and then hating men too – both for entirely different reasons, and intensified by the drugs which made him insanely aggressive.
    Those muscles look like implants to me, which explains their freakishness.

    @sixstringer, it is definitely the best lamebook post ever! Suroor is immortal now :)

  325. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @agenda – I can still see his page.

  326. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @v8man – Maybe he’s just asexual. (Like not straight, or gay, or bi.) I knew an asexual person once. God, he was freakin’ weird…harmless though.

  327. @v8man – I think your theory is spot on, you should start writing a screenplay, he seems pretty keen to get into movies…..might even play himself.

  328. @ missnys

    That leaves us with one of two assumptions….

    A. His sister equally freaked out by him and says whatever she thinks he wants to hear (I mean she’s even into the WWE too).

    B. She really does think he is the coolest guy to walk the planet (which would explain a lot).

  329. @missnys – have noticed that too, tad creepy, but she’s probably just as afraid of him as everyone here, with all his talk about face punching sluts and making them bleed…..yikes.

  330. @Horse, I can’t :( restricted acces to his page until I friend and I’m sure as hell not going to do that!

  331. How do you not have access to his profile, agenda? Go to FB-dot-com/suroor4

    Click on “Wall” or any of his pics. There.

  332. isubmittedsuroor

    his sister indeed thinks he is cuckoo, we sent her a message about her freak brother and she was like ” dear, we have tried to tell him thousands of times not to use steroids but he does not listen”

  333. @isubmittedsuroor – you are my new hero

  334. isubmittedsuroor

    @sixstringer: well, thank you…although i wouldn’t have come across suroor if it weren’t for dafc III. If it makes all you people happy, we created a fake female profile of a Muslim girl and even managed to add him as friend and chat with him (the chat wasn’t very pleasant ) he really is dumb not to figure out a that the profile is fake with only one friend and all the qualities that he looks for in a girl….and oh, his sister is actually a very good person and i think she cried as she typed us a reply.
    anyway i pity his family and those poor little kittens.

  335. I’m with you there, I do feel sorry for his family, and those poor kittens who seem to disappear……so sad. It’s also sad that this poor excuse for a man, who is so hungry for fame doesn’t realise that he is now infamous. Huge difference between the two, but there’s obviously no point explaining that to him if he is as dumb as you say…….. sigh

  336. lol just found this one that he posted on the group “i HATE fat chicks who think there hot!”‘s wall

    “Nice page… and a great title….”

    And of course he liked his own comment. As he does with all of them. This guy just cannot get enough of himself! someone before described it’s like a train wreck you just cannot stop watching. This post also adds a bit of weight to the argument he used to be fat and got rejected by girls (quite possibly fat girls).

    This was my first post, just had to sign up because of this guy lol i can’t believe people like this exist. Surely nobody is this stupid..surely….

  337. I also feel sorry for his family, especially for his sister :-|

    and wow, those wrestling vids on his facebook, incredible …
    talk about trashy garbage, living in the netherlands I’ve never seen more trashy garbage than in those vids… is that what they call ‘entertainment’? :-o and is this what seems to be Suroors ultimate goal in life? <8-[

  338. haha just found another gem on his wall..this guy is delusional! thank god he made his profile public! i have no idea what i would do without this guy!

    Suroor Ps If i was accepting each and every friendship request send to Me daily, haha… by now itself within few months of this a/c, the number of people on my list would have reached over 700 or 800. So u can imagine how many canceling i have to do. I know whom to accept and also will rethink later to keep or Not.

  339. He has listed his mobile as 509099003. The UAE extension is +971. Let the recorded prank phone calls begin!

  340. I tell ya how i fee: SUROORISM is my new religion!
    (he makes me feel good about myself, makes me have hope in the world and mankind because most people arent like him, he makes me happy to be alive and lead the life i lead) i even wake up looking forward to “his gospel”, i tell ya, this guy needs to go viral!!!! he will give hope to millions everywhere!!!)

    lamelooklurker@IFITWERENTFORMYHORSE @lamebooklurker – He’s brightened the past couple of days quite a bit for me too. I’d been having a huge pity party for myself, but it’s over and I’m on my way to resolving my problems! All thanks to Suroor!
    OH YEAH, AMEN TO THAT!!!!! i feel the same, his like is one FU CKED up technicolor nightmare!

    I have laughed so hard the past couple of days, not just at him but at the comments above……jimmyj…..ifitwerentformyhorse…..lamebooklurker…..spitzer…..thank you all.
    LETS ALL FIRST THANK SUROOR HIMSELF, then the WWW, then each other, this wont end at this point!!!! lets keep it going!

    Has anyone else noticed that his sister is the only one to tell him how built he is? and it always complimenting him? – I NOTICED, SHE SURE IS PLAYING HER PART IN BEING “SUBMISSIVE, GOOD MUSLIME THAT DRESSES CONSERVATIVE AND ISNT A SLUTTS” but i emailed her to tell her her brother is an international joke and pariah, posted the link. (i emailed her on FB with a fake profile, then 2 days later i deleted the profile. i figured that was my good deed of the day (warning her)…..i didnt hear from her, i guess shes used to such emails? remember his entry “only cats seem to approach me this days” (cats and his long suffering sister, wonder why?”

    good theory! THIS GUY HATES EVERYONE (MEN, WOMEN) LOL… he seems so hate-filled that i wonder why would he want to have sex with the beings he hates so much? he hate sluts, he hates any man who isnt “built” he hates women who say ooops and ouch, he hates pretty much anything. perhaps he hates everyone and everything (except WWE, kittens, bikes and working out) because those things cant talk back, fight back or judge him). what do you think?

    lamebooklurker@ISUBMITTEDSUROOR: YOUR ARE REALLY CRUELl! (please give me the name of the fake muslim girl profile so i can befriend her! and add on suff LOL LOL LOL) I need a new hobby!

    And yes, suroor will never live this down, it will chase him for the rest of his life. i am not one to make fun of people, but this time i am glad i have!

  341. lamebooklurker@mistol: i dont have your guts but please report on the prank for all mankind!!!

  342. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Suroorism is my new religion too! He makes me happy (for all the wrong reasons) and he is amazing (for all the wrong reasons). I mean hell, I have friends (and not just cat friends!), I don’t scare everyone away, people haven’t made fun of me THIS much online, I don’t dress up in WWE copycat-style clothes, I don’t have roid rage or pus-filled muscles that look like half deflated balloon implants, I don’t have debilitating dick problems…I could go on and on! My life is AWESOME!

  343. lamebooklurker@IFITWERENTFORMYHORSE:

    A new religion is born! SUROORISM!!!!!!
    hey, right reasons or not, we have something to believe in and it’s called “not being like Suroor” that right there is enogh to start a movement!!…. i have emailed the Lamebook posts to all my friends and you cant believe how many of them write back saying “this is fake right?” or “you are kidding right? this is an actual person?”
    I say, we are good human beings compared to this scumbag (no matter how much we make fun of him) we still come up on top!

  344. ifitwerentformyhorse

    This is how legends are born. Generations from now, people will talk of the great Suroor and how he saved millions from low self esteem!

  345. More fun:

    “What is the English word for the malayalam term ‘ KONJAL ‘?
    I am not boosting about myself but i am a good looking straight guy and well built. so here in abu dhabi, in our gym, though there is seperate section for the girls, they still come to the men’s section and workout and act smart. and when they do this with me and the other guys, i get little angry and feel like saying ‘ Orupaadu Konjalle ‘.

    so i want to know what is the exact word in english for KONJAL. and please if you are planning to type an insult back, it is a very old technique and it won’t work. it don’t think words like flirting or pamper is the right.”

    a reply:

    “and who told you this is the malayalam Indian linguistic studies section , try Yahoo India”

    “no body told me. it is my wish to post a question where ever i want and it is none of your business. as if you are only there in this world to give me answer. i already mentioned some bullshitt might try to act smart and give a nonsense reply and see here u r. good rating is to u give this msg only.”


    previous replyer:
    “Why have you reported my answer , I was simply directing you to the proper section after I saw several such posts from you and others asking about Indian words , some of which are offensive. .And if some one reported you it was not me , I did not , so don’t take it on me

    And then you go further and send me the following message:

    –QUOTE (words below by asker SUROOR -TAKER )

    Subject: nobody asked for your reply u garbage.

    Message: no body told me. it is my wish to post a question where ever i want and it is none of your business. as if you are only there in this world to give me answer. i already mentioned some bullshitt might try to act smart and give a nonsense reply and see here u r. good rating is to u give this msg only.

    I cannot believe an unbehaved person such as yourself then wants to be given UAE citizenship , I think not.

    I advise YA! to delete this entire question because you are the one stirring trouble , I was just trying to help you , but obviously I wasted my time.”

    “if suppose a garbage like u is there in u.a.e then how in the hell a good looking built born and brought up in u.a.e guy like me can’t get citizenship and who r u to decide it. and take your advice and put it in your own asss. if u report or not also i don’t care. rating given again for a msg only.”

    another person replies:
    “It’s the third time now you are asking the same question. Why don’t you just use 1) a dictionary or 2) ignore these girls?”

    Oh my, oh what fun this guy is to interact with, sigh :-| ;-)

  346. I finally got access to his page! Oh this is going to be one hell of a productive day!

  347. ifitwerentformyhorse

    The best part is that he posts questions online, and when someone replies, he gets mad at them for replying! “nobody asked for your reply u garbage”? WTF!

    And since when does anybody give out citizenship based on looks — even if he WAS goodloking? /facepalm

    Ohhh the insanity never ends.

  348. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Even though he hates slutts, here’s another post about porn in Yahoo Answers:
    “What do you think of Linda Friday?
    i don’t know why friday is not at all that popular. for me, she is really beautiful and her body, inch by inch it is very hot. i hope she comes in more videos. only few i have seen. what u think of her.”
    Okay then.

  349. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Regarding the Yahoo anger issues again, he always goes off on people who answered his question if it wasn’t the answer he wanted, yet he pastes his giant woman-hating rant as the answer to totally unrelated questions and ends it with “maybe not related to the topic, but i had to say this. my wish.” How fucking weird. I won’t even go into the hypocrisy.

  350. ifitwerentformyhorse

    He took a course in personilty development? O_O

    “Part time job required in Abu dhabi.?
    Main thing is to do a part time job for 4 or 5 hours only.

    Work Requirements :

    Work Timing : 12:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. ( Part Time Job )
    Salary Expected : Minimum 2000 Dhs. Per month.

    Work Experience:

    Went for training in finance section in National Bank of Abudhabi.

    Educational Qualification:

    Higher secondary :- Sunrise English private school Abu dhabi (64% marks)
    Secondary :- Sunrise English private school (60% marks)

    DEGREE :- B.COM – Mahathma Gandhi university – OUR International Abu dhabi.

    Completed M.B.A 1st YEAR and continuing.

    Professional Studies

    Course Certificate in managerial skills and personality development from nadia institute.

    Computer Software Skills

    • MS WINDOWS:- 95, 98 ME, 2000, XP
    • MS OFFICE :- 95, 97, 2000 & XP
    • Visual basic – little bit.
    Visa Status : WORK VISA (Supervisor)”

  351. The Incredible Shrinking Man :-o

    Myspace: length 171 cm site: length 170 cm
    Latvian dating site: length 168 cm
    Malayalees marriage site: length 167 cm
    ( userId=1141341&BV_ID=@@@#)

    … or… maybe he’s growing… either way, those steroid injections can have some unexpected side effects ;-)

  352. = ;-)

  353. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Something’s gotta be shrinking for sure! ;)

    I found more delusional awesome:

    “i prefer girl with stuning beaty. but still even she, only for a few months and after that i get bored and want an another stunning beauty. i cannot stick to 1.”

    “i really wish to see my hero – wwe’s undertaker aka mark calloway. if i will see that legend i will faint. another one is the music legend a.r.rahman. others no body i am even interested and if i see also i won’t approach them.

    i also see a big body building celebrity daily in my mirror.”

    Also,I’ve decided that when somebody complains about a problem to me from now on, I will tell them “But I have now my own problem in which your is nothing.”

  354. okay, just google + suroor

  355. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Good find yet again, @jimmyj!

  356. “But I have now my own problem in which your is nothing.”

    that’s one epic suroorian way to start a reply indeed :-o ;-) :-|

  357. ifitwerentformyhorse

    (BTW, apologies for my spelling errors in some of the above posts. I have the suroor.)

  358. “I DON’T smoke or drink or do drugs”

    mmm, no drugs, eh? … okay, you mean apart from those 2800 dhs you spend monthly on “testosterone enathate, sustenon, cypionex, boldenone, equipoise, chinese gh, durabolin, nandrolone, premobolan etc. and then the legal and good supplements like nitric oxide, protein, amino tablets, glutamin, mutlivitamin, ginseng” (and who knows what else) … right?

  359. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Apparently our friend is a leg man:
    “Can u tell me Why i get turned on with this too much?
    I am not tyring to type something erotic but this is just how i feel since child hood. i get very turned on by Girls when they wear MINI SKIRTS. i swear when i see a girl Nakedd, i don’t get turned on that much. but when i see her in a mini skirt or micro mini or when a girl in long skirt rotates and her skirt goes up or flies up, then that’s it. i just get very turned on and gets red hot. even if there is panties or no panties, the LEGS are actually driving me crazy. i know girls say that showing legs is not a big deal and it is not a private part or sex organ. but for me it makes me hornny. not a built or skinny leg. but espcially when it is a little bit chubby or little bit exercised i really love it. when in mini skirt i see crossed legs also i love it. but mainly when i see in movies or on tv. in real life, i try to ignore or not to pay attention to it since it may offend others.My friends say that only i am crazy towards mini skirt and legs this much. they like only nnude women. i know there might be guys with leg fetish. but mini skirt is just a trend or fashion isn’t it. and girls do they realise how men like me gets this much hornyy while seeing legs and skirt other than their nudde body. am i only one like this?

    please no insulting answers or answers saying i am insane or rare fetish.”

  360. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Hahaha well you know the only drugs that count as real drugs are the ones you don’t do!

  361. ifitwerentformyhorse

    The following is from May 2009, so it’s taken less than 2 years for his arms to become deformed. I think steroids that aren’t injected don’t do this shit, at least not that I’ve seen.
    “I am a body builder and for the first time i took a steroid injection on my arms. my arms are in great pain. y?
    i have been body building since 6 years with out a single steroid injection. but from yesterday i decided i will start injecting steroids and i got equipoise and sustenon. a professional pharmacist gave me the injection. equiboise on the shoulder and sustenon on the biceps with the correct dose. while injecting itself i felt slight pain on biceps. now the place is not swollen or the colour didnot change. but i am in great pain. i can barely move my both arms. the pain is more on the biceps. my gym instructor told it will disappear but i am tenced will it get worsened and i will never visit a doctor for this pain and if i do and if my parents come to know it, my body building will be stopped for ever.
    please tell me is this normal for first timers and with in how much time the pain will go.”

  362. “but from yesterday i decided i will start injecting steroids and i got equipoise and sustenon”

    “Boldenone (1,4-androstadiene-3-one-17β-ol, available as the undecylenate ester), also known under the trade names Equipoise, Ganabol, Equigan and Ultragan, is an anabolic steroid developed for veterinary use, mostly for treatment of horses. In the US it is not indicated for use in humans and is only available through veterinary clinics.”

    nice …

  363. ifitwerentformyhorse


  364. ifitwerentformyhorse

    I didn’t even catch that. Duh, equine. He’s taking horse steroids?! Not to mention others. I don’t know why it shocked me, really.

  365. this not been made into a meme yet?? i.e pic of him n the kitty – take steroids – get pussy!

    or at least his face needs to replace the ‘forever alone’ meme – lol!

    poor b**tard!

  366. I almost (ALMOST) feel sorry for this pathetic loser:

    31 years old, lives at home, still (apparently) a virgin), his father seems to control his life (since he is even afraid of going to the doctor for help), has serious hatred of people but loves kittens (yet they randomly go missing once they become adults?), the only one on facebook that seems to really like him is his sister, he is a pest even to people that know him.

    so this guy doesnt seem to have a single friend and thats why he is always asking weird questions in yahoo? how weird is that?

    i wonder how long it will take for the ticking bomb that is Suroor to explode in terrifying splendor!

  367. ifitwerentformyhorse

    It’s not even that he couldn’t have friends if he actually treated people decently. Somebody posted an exchange earlier where a former classmate was trying to be friendly to him on Facebook, and Suroor went off for no reason. So I don’t think I even feel bad for this guy. Forever Alone is right.

  368. ifitwerentformyhorse

    If I was neighbors with this guys, I’d be moving the fuck OUT.

  369. horse steriods…. not wonder his nuts!

  370. lamebooklurker@IFITWERENTFORMYHORSE yeah, i read the exchange between hin and the former blassmate, the poor guy was just telling him he remembered him and wanted to get in touch and this jerk just came back with shit like “you may remember me as a keyboard player only and now i am a body builder” amd the guy goes “just smile brother, be happy” just being polite but this dud wont hear of it, even goes to say “he lives like a king and doesnt correspond with people from his past” he thinks he’s above and beyond, his room at 1 am must be the darkest, loneliest place on earth.

  371. ifitwerentformyhorse

    I can only imagine his real life conversations. “How dare you tell me to have a nice day?! Arrrrr! [attempts to throw punch, gets leg cramp] I’ll get you for this, you trashes!” [goes to corner, cries]

  372. And to top it all off, anyone who speaks of themselves in third person is an automatic tool.

  373. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Has anybody clarified to him yet that he’s not an actual “star”? One of his latest:
    “haha.. people who speak the truth about the world and bring out the nasty things out are always talked against by the bast***s who enjoy being nasty & with pathetic low value in life. Even christ was crucified by talking only good things & …showing what is wrong. But did he stop speaking. haha.. i am just a human. i dont aim living long and still will keep saying & objecting & doing what ever i want to do in my life at any cost till i take my last breath regardless of any consequence which is not a concern. its not the business of these beggers trying got make a name at a hero’s cost. haha.. very hard to ignore this damn special guy i know by these males with the real loud mouth female self inside them. No envy bast**d who r following the words of this great 1, will stop me. Ofcourse none of these trashes will accept he is jealous, who r concerned about the lives of stars. but haha.. they know it themselves & others too. Ignore. Dogs when it barks looking at the sun, does the great sun has any effect? it keeps shining. any kid can bark from far. hahaha…. indirectly give me more fame my Servants and give more girls from whom i can select few”

  374. On his facebook page in one of the pictures:
    “Me, Suroor with my New kitten Porter, the 3rd. Suroor’ s brand new Persian kitty Friend in Abu Dhabi. U.A.E.
    i think i should soon teach him also to lift weights. He is only doing Cardio now by always running here and there.”
    That might explain why the kittens keep disappearing

  375. ifitwerentformyhorse

    “Anyway i am getting more girls requests with your help. Haha..” Uh THEY DON’T ACTUALLY LIKE YOU.

  376. ifitwerentformyhorse

    WTF is wrong with him?! Seriously what does he do with all of them? Somebody needs to take the poor cat away…

  377. This guy is the best thing to happen to Lamebook since Jason’s Monster Fail was deleted.

  378. “‘Anyway i am getting more girls requests with your help. Haha..’ Uh THEY DON’T ACTUALLY LIKE YOU.”

    Try “they don’t actually EXIST”. ;)

  379. @AGENDA: OH. MY. GOD. Kittens doing cardio. WHAT A FKING PSYCHO!
    seriously though, we all know why The Simpsons have a “snowball 3″, hate to imagine those poor over-exercised kittens :(

  380. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Ha ha. Yes that.

  381. ifitwerentformyhorse

    (last comment was @fnord)

  382. Do yo think he injects the kittens with the same crap he injects himself?

  383. The Incredible Suroor – the Movie” :-o

  384. @AGENDA: that could explain why the cats never seem to make it into adulthood. The fact that they all have the same name makes the whole thing even more creepy. i dont want to think about all the experiments he may be doing to them :(

  385. @JIMMYJ….. did you make that? OH MY GOD I LOVE IT! motorbike and kittens! TOO MUCH!!!! hahaha

  386. … just multitasking a bit around here and there ;-)

  387. @jimmyj..
    You forgot the empty steroid bottles and syringes ;-)

  388. .. oops, yeah, indeed :-(


  390. and some syringes and more slutts and maybe even a dog (since he says all inferior men bark)

  391. …and what’s with the tiny feet? Does he still wear kids shoes? Did anyone else notice that?

  392. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Pleeaaase make one of the bottles say “for horses only” on it.

  393. @spitzer, i noticed the feet but i also noticed that hes like 5 foot 3 and since hes on steroids, and his pipi doesnt work, i also imagined that it must be as small as the rest of him…. have you notice how he wears eyeliner in some of his photos? i mean, not for a laugh but he really wears it like is ok.

  394. ifitwerentformyhorse

    “The known side effects related to Equipoise are acne, sleeplessness, symptoms resembling a peptic ulcer, swelling of the breasts, nausea, acne, excitation (commonly referred to as roid rage), chills, vomiting, leukopenia, diarrhea, hypertension, prolonged blood clotting time, increase in libido. The women have reported menstrual irregularities, post-menopausal bleeding, increased sex drive, hoarseness or deepening of the voice, and enlargement of the clitoris. Men have reported acne, gynocomastia, and increased aggression.”

  395. isubmittedsuroor

    I just found out who clicks all his photographs :


  396. new ‘fixed’ version ;-)

  397. Lookie! A new profile! www(dot)facebook(dot)com/profile.php?id=100001066338478

  398. Oh jimmyj, that’s perfect, lol.

    @ lamebooklurker

    I did notice the eyeliner actually, but I was on the fence as to whether it was really eyeliner, or some sort of vitamin deficiency. I mean, he is straight after all ;-)

  399. @JIMMYJ, thats much better, love where you put the pills and drugs! LOL LOL pretty cool!\

    @SPITZER, oh yeah, thats definitely eyeliner (Kohl), middle eastern women love it, and apparently so does SUROOR LOL

    @IsubmittedSUROOR: LOL LOL

    @Sirgusgus: I BLOCKED his profile out of fear for my life :)

  400. Don’t worry lamebooklurker, we totally know where he lives…

  401. @lamebooklurker…but he just wants some looooooove ;)

  402. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @sirgusgus – Or to beat someone ’til they bleed.

  403. @ifitwerentformyhorse…you mean that’s not the same thing??? well crap.

  404. Suroor 05-23-2010 01:22 PM

    I am from the middle east, abu dhabi, u.a.e. i am very interested in buying your redlight 6 months 7 XXX channels in one card. but i tried your middle east contact number 06 985 7981 and i feel it is in sharjah. but when i dial , it says it is Not a valid number and i can’t reach. i don’t know what is that code +39 for. So can you please give me a valid number for the card here in abu dhabi or any where else in the middle east. i also want to buy it on cash, so is there any please where i can get here in abu dhabi. i also would like to know the exact cost of the card for 6 months, 7 channels namely Redlight Premium, Xtreme, Dorcel, French Lover, Free X 1 & 2 and X-Dream. i don’t know which to buy, whether viaccess or irdeto. i just have a lan receiver with card facility which is maxx 1000 and another receiver called zone.

    Please help me as soon as possible. My email is

  405. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @spitzer – How did you find that?!

  406. Googled his email ;-)

  407. ifitwerentformyhorse


  408. @SIRGUSGUS & @IFITWERENTFORMYHORSE: I think he wants to love someone AND beat them till they bleed! hahaha He swears hes a ladiesman and the women are falling over their Jimmy Choo heels just to date him, poor schmuck!

    @SPITZER, thats the problem, we know where he lives, he may just find out where i am and hes crazy enough that i just rather not have him find me (I AM THAT AFRAID OF HIM and havent even met him) wow!

  409. Incidentally that’s how you get access to his full address and phone number for cell and home. He even told another guy that he was trying to buy a helmet from..I live in this building near this square in this flat….


  410. @lamebooklurker

    It’s been mentioned here before, that synthol does nothing for strength, and I’m willing to bet that his arms are practically rendered useless given the ratio of size to actual strength.
    In fact my fantasies are based on that fact.
    If I slap him twice I’d like to see him even try to slap me back 4 times!!!!

  411. @SPITZER: THE HOLY GRAIL OF EMAILS: how did you find this little gem? DAWM! SUROOR sure knows his porn channels eh? I didnt even know there were that many! hahahahah i can almost see him beating his little sausage to porn stars and then craying in the dark holding his kitty in shame! hahahaha



  413. ifitwerentformyhorse

    So amazing, it’s like he’s really violent but really naive at the same time.

  414. @ lamebooklurker

    I’m on it!

  415. Wow spitzer, what an email
    Does this guy have no shame at all? :-o

  416. @Spitzer: Since Synthol may do nothing for strength but hes still strong enough to grab a knife so im taking no chances LOL

  417. He’d probably fall for one of those Nigerian Prince scams.

    Who wants to be the Prince Abdullah? The Prince who is so disgusted with ever female and trashy man in the world, who has finally found the only man…nay…KING….that thinks like him and should therefore inherit his fortune. All he need do is send a tidy sum to cover banking fees and customs fees.

  418. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Shame? It’s trashes like us that should be ashamed! ;)

  419. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Shit, well I better send him an e-mail then. I could use some money right abouts now.

  420. I can see it now

    “But I have my own problem now in which yours is nothing…I am trying to get in touch with Prince Abdullah, I think he dead before he send my money”

  421. @ALL:

    Lets send the email from KING ABDULLAH and have him wire the money via western union.

    secret western union answer: TRASHES

  422. He says he’s been getting all these friend requests, so I’ve been watching his friend count over the past few days to see if he’s actually adding any and I find it amusing that he’s actually losing friends…

  423. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @jed7 – They must have been jealous trashes and not his real friends. :P (This will never get old. At least not today.)

  424. Truly. And I don’t know why exactly, but he just brings out the worst in me.
    Grrrr, so angry!

  425. By the way, I am one of those who only signed up because of Suroor. I am a Suroor-conscript.

    I miss LOST.

  426. Yep. I tried to add him as a friend and he rejected it and then LOST another friend. LOL

  427. Tried posting this forever ago but it’s still in moderation, so forgive me if this link has already come up:

    Here’s another link to Suroor’s creepyness, apparently he REALLY like kittens and small children…


    Suroor Ps: “oh god. so sweet little kid. i can play with her all the day with my kitten if she is Not intimidated by me.”

  428. And then he liked his own post again. lolllll

  429. Ok. This guy is pathetic. He’s definitely going to go around the bend if someone doesn’t do something.

    @jimmyj you, my friend, have superior stalking abilities. Kudos! Don’t stalk me. :| Actually, wait, it might improve my credit score. Carry on.

    As for the rest of you; I just spent an enjoyable two hours reading all of the comments. You guys have made my day. Thank you.

    But, don’t you think the harassment is a little much? Just saying. He’s a time bomb. He’ll find something eventually to set him off. Just please don’t let it be you.

  430. @spitzer and @jimmyj you are set in lamebook history. I salute you (and not in the Suroor fist-nose-blood way)

  431. I wonder why he picked his biceps to inject and not his ass? He could have a fabulous ass by now that all women would be jealous of. Or not.

  432. @spitzer – I’m the same, could not resist the lure to comment about this disgusting human being(that term is up for debate)
    With you on Lost too.

    @lamebooklurker, I’ve enjoyed this week immensely, you are right in saying that “Suroorism” has made people feel better about themselves because “Hey, at least I’m not this guy”
    It’s almost like “What would Suroor do?”……
    Ok, now do or say the complete opposite

    Hope this keeps going.

  433. Me too. He’s already added a little to a comment on facebook…

    i Dont comment on any other websites for any1 since i dont have that much useless times. Haha.. So many Haters take my name & comment Fake trash in the name of this great 1. I talk about realities here only & No hatredness to good Women.

    The best thing is I did most of my posting at work today so not only am I not a jobless trash but I got paid to do it.

  434. At least he’s paying attention…… his own little way.
    I’ve done all my posting from work too….. it’s 10:30 am in Australia at the moment….. highlight of my day is reading the updated comments about the true “Forever Alone” wonder that is Suroor

  435. Is anyone good with computers?? Someone just spam the shit out of his email address with gay porn or something lol..i’d laugh

  436. I had to register with Lamebook to be able to share my comments on this “History in making”.

    In case you people haven’t realized it yet, he is a Muslim of Indian origin from the state of Kerela. His first language is most probably Malayalam.

    For those who think his muscles look unreal, look up SYNTHOL. It is an oil injected directly into the muscles to give them mass.

    I think his anger and schizophrenia stems from his steroid use and also from some inferiority complex.

    I think he looked pretty normal and decent in his old photos, like where he is playing the keyboard (normal by Indian standard).
    Now he looks like a transvestite on steroids who feels the need to assert that he is a “straight” men at the beginning of ever paragraph.

    He looks like a pretty average bodybuilder, I don’t find anything remarkable about his physique. He looks very short, probably 5’5″. All the bulge is because of irresponsible synthol use in arms and in shoulders. His torso looks comically tiny next his arms, looks like Suroor doesn’t bench-press much.

    He definitely is an internet phenomenon in making. Hats off to jimmyj for all the research

    Most interesting is his comment about Natural bodybuilders on facebook.. He is the epitome of obnoxiousness.

    “The reasons Y the Lean or fat Guys who never even might have stepped into a gym or the Natural BodyBuilding Men or other trashes run their mouth against the Big or buffed guys or Steroids:- 1. Ofcourse Jealousy. 2. NO Money for the huge amount to spend for Supplements. 3. Can’t workout regularly or even bend to their knee. 4. Afraid to Inject or use supplements. This is like the saying, ”when u don’t get the Grapes u wanted to eat, U satisfy yourself thinking it has a sour or Bad Taste”.”

  437. @spitzer – I also could not resist the urge when I saw this post… 72 hours later and I’m still entertained.

    @sixstringer – Cool, a fellow Aussie. I know what you mean man, I couldn’t wait to get home from work and see how all this was unfolding. It’s about 6 p.m. in Sydney at the moment (for reference to Lamebook time).

  438. part 2 is here:


  439. @ALL: Suroor will bring a smile to my face even in my deathbed im afraid! hahaha i find myself laughing out loud and while i am driving thinking of Suroors horrible life. i dont think i will ever get sick of this, just when you think he cant come out with more gold, HE DOES! LOL

    @ LILLI: well, i tell ya, Suroor makes me laugh but he does brings the “bad” out of me, usually im quite compassionate and dont make fun of people, i even have some slightly obnoxious friends that i accept even though i know they wont change. NOW SUROOR is something I have never seen before, he is a trainwreck i cant stop watching and the fact that he is so hatred-filled makes me feel like kicking him when hes down. why? I dont know, but i dont feel bad about it. he has put down enough SLUTTS and TRASHES of his own for me to care if he feels bad about our collective joke on him. maybe he should just grow a pair… he would have to be a genius to find out who i am and based on what we have seen about him, he aint!

    @lamebooklurker, I’ve enjoyed this week immensely, you are right in saying that “Suroorism” has made people feel better about themselves because “Hey, at least I’m not this guy”
    It’s almost like “What would Suroor do?”…… Ok, now do or say the complete opposite
    Hope this keeps going.
    I FEEL THE SAME! this guy has done wonders for my self-esteem

    @FLYINGWIRE, YEAH we have been taking this poor schmuck apart for a few days now, loving it!

  440. Has anyone ever heard of a documentary called ‘The day my arms exploded’? If this is anything to go by there’s always a chance the days of the Suroor terror on the world is numbered… Sounds like it has already started if he’s already been to the doctors with one abscess… Serves him right too!

  441. isubmittedsuroor


    I have to announce that suroor has un-friended our fake female profile on facebook after having not so nice conversations over the past few days. It ended like this : ” blah blah blah…i’ll smash your face till pussy juice comes out of your mouth”….well!, apparently he is obviously confused about the female genitalia.

  442. ifitwerentformyhorse

    LOL!!! @georgiegalxx & isubmittedsuroor

    I already posted my creative waste of time in the newer Suroor entry, but I figured I’d post it here too. Why not right?

    I got inspired by moniker’s songs and lamebooklurker’s description of Suroor’s average day, so I wrote lyrics about it, set to Rebecca Black’s Friday.


    7 a.m., wakin’ up with my kitten
    Gotta stay stinky, gotta leave my room
    Gotta have my shake, gotta have protein
    Seein’ red, people are runnin’
    Runnin’ away from me, everybody’s leavin’
    Gotta get down to my bike
    Gotta find my keys, I see some slutts

    Sittin’ in the only seat
    Tryin’ to make my biceps fit
    Gotta make my mind up
    Which trashes should I beat?

    They’re steroids, steroids
    I’m pumped full of steroids
    Everybody’s tellin’ me to stop it, stop it
    Steroids, steroids
    Pumped full of steroids
    Everybody’s tellin’ me to stop it
    Liftin’ weights, liftin’ weights (yeah)
    Liftin’ weights, liftin’ weights (yeah)
    Mad, mad, mad, mad
    Lookin’ forward to a beatin’

    7:45, I’m ridin’ in Abu Dhabi
    Bein’ so angry, my eyes pop out
    Porn, porn, think about porn
    You know I’m straight
    I got porn, you got porn
    Your girlfriend’s by my right
    I got porn, you got porn
    Now she’s got a black eye

    Sittin’ in the only seat
    Tryin’ to make my biceps fit
    Gotta make my mind up
    Which trashes should I beat?


    Yesterday was angry, angry
    Today still so angry, angry
    You you you so much jealous
    You so much jealous
    ‘Cause I respect myself
    Tomorrow I’ll be angry
    And after that still angry
    I don’t want this beatin’ to stop


  443. isubmittedsuroor

    LOL @ifitwerentformyhorse…..we can put all these songs together and make a music album,here are some names:

    “Suroor learns to Mock”

    “Suroor And the Pussycats/kitty-cats”

    “The suroor’s”

    “Suroor maiden”

    “The suroor brothers”


  444. ifitwerentformyhorse

    LOL… How about Suroor and the Kitty-Cats (Who Mysteriously Disappear)

  445. How about no medicine for jealousy

  446. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @agenda – LOL Perfect.

  447. Anyone here with musical talents that can turn @ifitwerntformyhorse’s and @moniker’s songs into the real thing? Record the “no medicine for jealousy” album? I would buy it

  448. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @agenda – If I had any talent whatsoever, I would make a YouTube video. But I don’t, so it’s a moot point. :p
    Upon checking my lyrical genius, it should really be “Tryin’ to make my muscles BIG.” Meh, oh well.

  449. This made me crack up

    Our boy Suroor loves the Backstreet boys!

  450. …and I love the fact that he votes for his own comments on Yahoo Answers – which results in him having as many “best answers” as he does.

  451. until pussy juice comes out of your mouth? WORDS. FAIL. ME.

  452. @SAMWISE: how appropriate that his favorite song is “show me the meaning of being lonely” hahahaha, priceless!

  453. 452 moments of legendary greatness…

    Lads & lasses… I salute ye.

    ps. Did he use ‘boogeyman’ and ‘kids’ in one sentence?

  454. it just occurred to me that we may be bullying Suroor? if thats the case i kind of do feel bad, wouldnt want to drive this guy to do something stupid though…. is making fun of someone bullying? (it seems i do have a conscience after all)

  455. @ifitwerentformyhorse I encourage you to do the youtube post anyway!! Who said you needed to be talented to upload a video? I do look forward to it! You’ll do it?

  456. @lamebooklurker

    It becomes bullying when you are bombarding him with hate and negativity every chance you get. This was why I discouraged e-mail harassment earlier. Having a private(loosely defined as a place where he will not likely look to see it) place to make fun of someone so obviously worth it is not bullying. If he ever bothers to look here (which he hasn’t, even though he’s been told about this) he might get upset and angry, though.

    I still think that his ideas and beliefs are twisted and ugly. His own statements make him out to be a hypocrite. I will carry on making fun of that. Nothing wrong with that at all in my book.

    Besides, I’m not as funny as most of you guys. That’s why I’ve only been lurking here for the last year.

    Oh, and don’t put his picture into a youtube video. That could be considered liable.

  457. @LILLI… Thanks Lilli, that makes me feel better (i wouldnt want to be a bully and i definitely wouldnt want to have a hand in this guy doing something stupid to himself or others). :) and yes, he is a hypocrite! thats why i keep coming back here LOL he never stops dishing out the LOLs

  458. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @agenda – Too bad we all got over Suroor before I could do the YouTube thing. And @lilli is right, using his picture would have been a bad idea, and I don’t think a video would be that good without it, so no go.

    @lamebooklurker – We haven’t been so much bullying as talking about him behind his back. Aside from the people who e-mailed his sister to ask if she knows how fucked up her brother is, all we did was copy and paste crap Suroor posted online already.

  459. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @lamebooklurker – I just realized you tried e-mailing his sister too, obviously that’s not bullying either. Oh and chaiman can fuck off.

  460. @ifitwerentformyhorse Damn it! Yeah, Suroor was a good post, and that album would have rocked so much… But i think we are all just fed up with this. I feel like I know ALL there is to know about him. There is no mystery anymore (lol), I’m bored with Suroor. On to the next victim!

  461. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @agenda – Too bad whenever I submit a different crazy person to Lamebook, they pass and pick some shitty status update instead.


    I hope & pray you never find my FB page! LOL I’d hate to be Lamebook fodder! ;)

  463. @ifitwerentformyhorse: yup, i tried to warn her, but got no response, so yeah, at least i did my bit to steer some sort of help his way…. oh well!

  464. heyy everyone..Jus came across dis page accidently n I thout I shud put in a comment!i kno this guy frm high skool,he was a loner n had a real bad time wid the girls like bein dumped by girls hell alot of times!back then he was a skinny guy! He hated pretty girls jus bcoz he knew he cud never get one! Hes a retard and a maniac n lol check this out..this guy wants to marry too. Hes on! lol

  465. Fuckin’ Suroor, innit? We were just talking about him the other day!

  466. dafuq did I just read

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