Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Put the Fun in Funeral

previous post: Oh Jeez

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56 Comments

  1. Lemondrops are the best way to wash away sorrow. Especially for only two bucks!

  2. I say fair enough for Sam. He’s just dealing with it in his own way.

    Wii games, though? Don’t want to judge anybody, but come on.

    I can’t really… mock anything or make any jokes here. Would seem kinda bad taste, I think…

  3. Hey…Wii games are pricey…

  4. Andy doesn’t need them anymore, obviously. But if Morgan wanted them back that bad, he should find some time to at least get them back himself.

  5. @rutro15:

    They’re pricey, to be sure. If I asked someone’s mother about some misappropriated Wii games at their child’s funeral, though, I would expect and deserve the colossal ass beating that would surely be coming my way.

  6. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    O Morgan…you fool.

  7. Morgan is a complete douche. There’s pretty much no good time to try and ask for Wii games back from a dead kid’s family but to even think an ok time would be before/during the funeral? Wow…

  8. We’re judging Morgan without knowing the full facts. For all we know Andy might have been having a viking funeral, and if you were Morgan I bet you wouldn’t want your Wii games loaded onto a burning pyre simply because Morgan’s family hadn’t noticed they weren’t his possessions. Cut the lad some slack….

  9. maybe andy was a really punctilious guy, and anthony was just stunned that he never returned the games.

  10. Ben 10! And when she says redheaded sluts, does she mean a drink or an actual hooker? Two dollars…she’s probably riddled with herpes :/

  11. Redheaded sluts are awesome drinks. Now I want one.

  12. Morgan is definitely a big asshole.
    But part of me can’t blame him. I’d worried about getting my shit back too.

  13. As a recovering alcoholic I certainly can’t pass judgment on Sam, but Sarah and Morgan should really get together and possibly get married. And NOT have kids.

  14. I actually went to a funeral and I was one of the few people dressed in black.

  15. Nix – I have the feeling Sarah doesn’t quite get that concept. She also seems to be oblivious to the idea that you’re not supposed to “♥” a funeral.

  16. Toadette is the winner

    In Sarah’s defense, black attire is not really an automatic at funerals anymore. A lot of families now ask that people wear other colors like blue or dark green, because they consider the service to be more of a celebration of the deceased’s life rather than a super depressing gathering of communal despair. the heart was a little much though.

    also, $2 red headed sluts? I’m so there!

  17. mymomruinedfacebook

    Toadette you and I are on the same page!

  18. All of this is just wrong.

  19. Oh, Morgan… asking for things back from those who have passed needs to be addressed the same way as the “slow clap”… you can’t just do it at any ol’ time… the moment needs to be right… and several hours before the funeral, is *not* that time.

  20. I agree asking for things back from the relatives of the deceased is probably not such a good idea before the viewing/funeral but what if Morgan’s wii games were rentals…

    If he waited for an appropriate time would he then be a douche and charge them the late fees? My spidey sense says Yes, yes he would.

  21. Toadette – you have a point. Particularly in Jewish culture a funeral is almost always looked upon as a ‘life celebration’. I guess Sarah’s inquiry might make sense if it was made known by the family of the deceased that they would like the attendees to wear colors other than black, though it is definitely of questionable taste for someone to post something like that on Facebook either way (particularly the heart).

  22. Over the years, I have borrowed all sorts of valuable items from my friends. Last year I faked my death just to video tape the awkward requests that my mom had to deal with. I’ve never seen her cry so much. It was a hoot.

  23. I shall now begin to record these stories as ‘The Chronicles of Soup’
    I haven’t quite decided what the second part ‘: ?????????’ would be.

  24. Yeah, Sam is just dealing in his own way. Some people’s idea of mourning involve tears, prayer and candlelight vigils, and for others, it’s cheap booze and girls.

    I’ve not had anyone really close to me die yet, but I’m liking Sam’s approach for when the time comes, but I want cheap men in lieu of the $2 redheads.

    So Soup, I hope you’re available for wakes.

  25. discomfortzone

    No no no no no, too insensitive Morgan. Chasing up Xbox or PS3 games is OK, but Wii? Really??

  26. Kinda off topic, but who else has seen Robin Williams: Live in Broadway?

  27. Alas no, neither on the actual Broadway, or on DVD, if that’s what you mean.

  28. You should definitely see if you can find it. It is absolutely fucking hilarious. It is much better under the influence though.

  29. At least she spelt colour right…

  30. Isn’t everything, nuff.

  31. So a redheaded slut is a drink? Didn’t know that, but Soup can still be the entertainment at wakes.

  32. Next time you’re at the bar, ask for a Redheaded Slut. Though I wish it were the other interpretation. $2 Redheaded Sluts is a bargain!

  33. Paranoid Android

    ‘The Chronicles of Soup’ – Here’s an idea, head each chapter with a variety of soup e.g. Tomato, Minestrone, Chicken etc. I hope the Vegetable chapter will live up to it’s name.

    The redheaded slut is a cocktail made of Jaegermeister, peach-flavored schnapps, and cranberry juice. (source: Wiki)

  34. Paranoid Android

    *its

    fucking early mornings.

  35. Schnapps and jaegermeister don’t get along with me. Too many shit experiences with cowboys, and jaeger bombs.

  36. I’ll stick with the cheap beer. Plan to down a few at the big football game in town tonight.

    Go NSW, for all you Aussie origin fans out there.

  37. Paranoid Android

    word – I never had you down as RL fan, more of a Queensland/Maroons man myself. Am in UK so recording the game while at work, bad times.

  38. Huge baby, huge. Very wet here though, not gonna be pretty.

  39. They’re offering it up here in 3D for those with the technology in their homes. I’ll be sitting in the rain.

  40. Mate, one last thing before I depart, Queensland? Traitor.

  41. Here I thought Lamebook would be a safe haven from Origin-speak.

    Obligatory declaration: Go QLD.

  42. In regards to Morgan, that is possibly the most inappropriate and insensitive time to bring that up. But it sparked my thought, when is apparopriate?

  43. Paranoid Android

    Rain = Karma :)

  44. You write off the games and then you don’t have to worry about when is appropriate. Unless you’re Morgan, who will probably request that he be buried with his Wii should he meet an untimely death.

    I’ll never forget something that happened years ago when I was working at a clothing store while in school. A 16 year-old guy had just been killed in a motorcycle accident and his parents came in together a couple days later to return the leather jacket they had bought him for Christmas. I had to do the return and it was unbelievably eerie. You don’t want to judge, but I couldn’t believe they made a point of getting in there before the return period was over. You’d think there would be other things on their mind.

    And totally off topic, but I was just reminded of when a guy I worked with at this store got me a Coke while he was on his break and when he held open his hand with my change in it there was a pube amidst the coins. So there we are both staring at his hand with this pube on it. I picked the coins up individually and avoided the pube. If he was a straight guy I would have wondered if he’d done that on purpose but he looked as uncomfortable as I was.

  45. Dee-Lite – I’m sure I’ve heard that pube story somewhere else…

  46. I don’t think it’s so bad to ask about what to wear / what colour to go for at a funeral… you don’t want to be the only one in blue, if the family are making a point of wearing black – or vice versa wearing black and everyone else is in yellow and pink.

    @Dee-Lite I think the sooner they got rid of that jacket the better. The longer they held on to it, the more they had to think about the christmas present they could never give their son. I’d have returned it ASAP too and it wouldn’t have had much to do with ‘getting in there before the return period’. I’m sure christmas was very much on their mind that year, and so the present was too :(

  47. rockinghorsefly

    @soup: Faking your own death. You are brilliant. I think I love you. That is all.

  48. Chewbacca shagger

    My Grndmother and uncle died 2 weeks ago (my mother lost half her family in week) and they were the first funerals i had ever been to. I called my folks up and had to ask what to wear coz i thought i would be insulting wearing a colored shirt and i only have very loud ties. I dont think it wa inappropriate at all. Wii games, he could have used some decorum and waited a week or so.
    I bet all the weird ass blues supporters are crying in their tooheys now. 24-28 i believe.

  49. Chewbacca shagger

    **was**
    dill wit it mofo

  50. Walter Sobchak

    Chicks with fire heads are hot.

  51. @chewbacca
    I’m dillin’

  52. The correct way to deal with the Wii games situation is to ask the parents if you can hang out in the dead kid’s room for a while to “mourn”. Insist on being left alone because you don’t feel comfortable crying in front of other people. Once they leave you alone in his room, you can take the Wii games and whatever else you might want. It’s a good idea to plan ahead and put a box right outside his window so you can just throw things out the window and retrieve the box later. Otherwise, you’re going to be limited to what you can sneak past his parents on the way out.

    This is just basic common sense, people.

  53. @ Sensible Madness: Good plan, and indeed common sense, but is there not a chance that his/her parents might notice the games and other stuff flying past their kitchen/sitting room window into a cardboard box?

    I love your blog, by the way. Never knew that God got up to so much ass-kicking.

  54. I agree that Sam is dealing with it in his own way. Though he should ask that question in a week or two.

    I had one of my best friends die about three years ago. He always told me,(When I die, Crack as many joke you can about me and let it be no holds barred.” I did exactly that. I told everybody what I just told you and then I let him have it. The whole place erupted in laughter the whole way through and a few other people joined in. It may sound weird but it was one of the best funerals I had ever been to.

    We later honored his second wish and had one hell of a time at the bar.

    May you Rest In Peace Eric Droste. I love you brother and you are not missed for you are always with me. <3 :D

  55. It was just like a roast. It really couldn’t of went down any better:)

  56. The colour one doesn’t really seem that odd to me. Not many people wear black to funerals anymore. As long as you wear something nice, you’re good.

    Actually, back in high school, this one kid got into an accident, and everyone at his funeral was requested to wear burnt orange. Hey, it’s an awful colour but it was his favourite, representing his favourite team.

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