Thursday, February 18, 2010

Putting the Ewww in Douchebag

previous post: Funny Folks

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45 Comments

  1. Joey’s a virgin.

  2. Ehh, Steven’s was lame.
    Actually, all of them are.

  3. It’s B then A, retart.

  4. It’s like my eyes are being attacked by stupidity.

    If I had to associate with these people I think I would voluntarily shut down all five of my senses and yet be happier in my state of sensory deprivation and mental isolation than I would be if I had to deal with these genitally obsessed morons.

  5. “It’s like my eyes are being attacked by stupidity” made me LOL

  6. Joey and Steven are retarts. I’d hang out with Matt.

  7. Lord…

  8. Steven may know the cheat sheet to a girls vag, but onch he’s there he has no idea what buttons to push. Tab in..tab out..tab in..tab out. BORING!

  9. Joey’s got game! “C’mon baby. Those aren’t herpes, it’s just ribbed for your pleasure.”

  10. LOLLL @ Soup. I like it!

  11. That’s probably the hardest lesson Matt learned all semester long.

  12. I’d say 99.8% of this was utter bullshit, with the other .02& being Daniel’s ‘Dude…’

    Yeah, I didn’t do too well in Maths.

  13. .02%

  14. hehehe British Hobo… 0.2% you mean. Unless of course you had something else in mind for the 0.18% in which case I apologize and take back the correction.

    Call me naive but I have no idea what Steven’s talking about? Can someone please clarify?

  15. @MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    It’s the Konami Code. It’s a cheat code used in many videogames made by Konami. But Steven messed up. There’s no “select” in the code and “B” is before the “A”.

  16. I might just be wantin’ a bagel with my coffee.

  17. @MonkeyCMonkeyDo: Yeah, that xD I’m not even sure why I put point zero. That was pretty dumb, even for me.

    @Mr Blank: So that’s where I’ve been going wrong :O Am I to assume that Steven is having the same problems?

  18. hootie the blowfish

    I always enjoy seeing really old things posted here, like Joey’s from August 2009. I imagine it’s because some friend of his just discovered Lamebook and thought, “this guy’s a giant douche, I’m going to go find the douchiest things he does and says and submit them here.”

  19. I’ve had similar nights to Joey’s… loved, then left a dude, and moved onto the next.

    I don’t see the problem.

  20. @wordpervert, haha 2002-2005 for this gal!

  21. I think Joey is describing his wet dream to which he fratted all over his pokemon sheets.

  22. Thank you, Joey. I have now decided to NEVER apply to the University of Georgia.

  23. I was reading Joey’s update the whole time thinking “this is some freshman douche from UGA”… even thinking about the “all girls dorm” he was referencing (most likely Brumby Hall) and the fact that it posted in August (when all the frosh feel the need to let everyone know how hard they party).

    God dammit.

  24. it’s wonderful to finally see matt on here. i’ve known him since high school and he’s always been the epitome of douchebaggery. the sad thing is that this isn’t the worst thing he’s ever posted…

  25. JacksSmirkingRevenge

    I predict Joey is not even in college anymore for failing out, simply because his sole purpose in life was “fratting hard” and telling everyone else about it.

  26. I bet Joey doesn’t even go to UGA.

  27. ha, clearly joey can only pull Plan C Triple Legacy Had-to-Take-Her-Because-Nationals-Told-Us pussy. Not frat at all.

  28. So, what about clicking and holding down the left mouse button and dragging to the goal, or right clicking then selecting “Forward” or “End”, or pressing Tab to find the exact spots, or maybe Enter-ing and saying the right word?

  29. Stevens made me lol

  30. This made me feel dirty. It’s easy to sleep with drunk slutty people, what’s to brag about? I bet they’re gonna breed, too. Oy…

  31. All hail Stevenm, for he speaks the truth

  32. *Steven

  33. Joey misspelled “malformed hermaphrodites”.

  34. @Mr.Blank: There is a select in the code – you add it to Contra if you are playing in 2 player mode.

  35. Knob ends, i swear the yanks invented Aids to rid the world of silly c*%t’s like this…..Woot

  36. I feel old and a bit geeky for understanding Stevens update …

    Joey sounds like he had a ball and i wouldn’t mind a bit of fratting hard every now and then (though it sounds like something from a gay pornmovie so maybe i ll pass on that). The super lame thing about him is the boasting about it on facebook part.

    But a room filled with drunk horny girls is the perfect room to spend an evening

  37. Steven has clearly never played a Konami game, and only knows that sequence as an Internet meme. The select thing bugs me too, but maybe that’s just because I almost always played one player mode (insert sad violin music here).

  38. @23 – Brumby was affectionatly referred to as the “virgin vault,” though I don’t dare speculate how many girls were deflowered during their residence there.

  39. Joey’s vagueness about the details (“all girls dorm”, “dont no her name”) suggests that he didn’t want anybody to follow up on his story. Hmm.

  40. Joey’s use of the words “frat party” and “fratting” are dead giveaways that he is another community college (or no college)kid trying to act like he is cool like the real university kids. I am a member of the Greek system at my university, and we see this type all the time and think they are total douches. They think they can walk into a fraternity and party with us, and they think that makes them so cool. Nine times out of ten they end up tooling out (like Joey) and making a complete ass out of themselves.

  41. Oh and by the way, I dont know what school he is talking about, but at my school “frat parties” are not full of “horny bitches”. If a girl does sleep with a guy at the party, chances are they already have a thing with the guy. You cant just walk up to a girl and say “Sup baby? My names Joey and I go to commuunity college. Lets have sex.” Girls will laugh at you.

  42. @pibetafly

    I don’t think there’s any doubt that Joey is a douche. But guess what? Your vag is even more Summer Fresh than his. Good job representing the Greek culture as elitist and monogamous. Sounds like a blast.

    Enjoy your soggy biscuit.

  43. i like to comment on old posts just to freak people out. what am i doing here? you dont know.

  44. @naaaice: I dunno, but I’m heuh cause it’s a lamebook classic.

    Aside, I took a friend to Athens one weekend to hang out with my friends. She took the part about “party town” seriously, and made a complete ass of herself. It’s common, unfortunately. People hear “UGA” and hear “PARTAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!” and assume that normal standards of behavior do not apply. I never let her attend another Athens party with me again. smh

  45. @Soup – thank you. Joey may be an immature moron and one to steer far far away from but I’d prefer that over a pompous prick like pibetafly anyday.

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