Tuesday, January 12, 2010

PROfiles

PROfiles1

PROfiles2

previous post: 2 Much

RELATED POSTS:


104 Comments

  1. FIRST!!! muthafuckas!!!!

  2. These two girls seem like they would be good friends.

  3. I would love to kill those two people……
    That would be two less fucking rejects in the world.

  4. We seem to have found the people who took a shit in the first floor bathroom.

    As for the first one, it seems that vagina is going to belong to someone other than Dave in the womens county jail.

  5. WOW

  6. FTL. Silly skank

  7. WOW… crazy bitch?

  8. I always figure, when reading shit like this, it’s been typed by some fat-ass, milquetoast-ish, mousy chick looking to validate herself by trying to act tougher than she really is…

    THAT being said — I feel sorry for Dave… he’s puttin’ his dick in that snapdragon… yikes!

  9. “a prod owner of a vagina”
    cos we all know how hard it is to get one of them..

  10. This is on par with couples who share MySpace/Facebook accounts, so they can talk about HOW FUCKING AWESOME THEY ARE AND THEY DON’T GIVE NO FUCK ABOUT NOTHIN.

  11. Also, wouldn’t #1′s boyfriend be the “prod owner” of her vagina? :3

  12. I would really love to see a picture of the first chick. She is the proud owner of a vagina, but it is owned by dave? So is she sub-letting it to him or has he put a deposit down? I’m confused. But i think my favorite line was “I am not your adverage girl”

  13. “not your adverage girl…”

    That’s clear.

  14. Girls that admit they are bitches are doing us all a HUGE favor. We should thank them for advertising their bitchiness so we can avoid them and not have to find out the hard way..

  15. attention customers…averadge. that is all.

  16. LoL @ sub-letting, “adverage” and “radther”

  17. What is funniest to me is that both of these girls are between the ages of 15-19.

  18. Those vagina owners are radther hostile.

  19. I believe that reincarnation is an amazing theory. Shame that it’s bullshit, though.

  20. Well, this* girl used to have TWO vaginas, but did she go around bragging about it? I think not!

    * http://www.mid-day.com/news/2009/aug/230809-Lauren-Chingford-Essex-two-vaginas-medical-problems-World-news.htm

  21. Two things I find amazingg about these girls: neither of them mentions that they hate all other females, and that after all these frighteningly similar profiles we have seen these types still think that they are unique for being heinous.

  22. Ya that’s the kind of attitude that gets you somewhere good in life, you deluded bitch.

  23. it’s ok everyone, she believes in karma..

  24. The first one made me think of that pic with the kid losing his mind captioned “I f*cking love colouring!”

    lol @ prod owner

  25. chickens dont clap

    Hahaha
    So she is the prod owner of a vagina which is owned by David? What, do they timeshare it or something?

  26. Ok, first of all…If you HAVE to say you’re the baddest, hardest whatever…then CLEARLY you’re not!!!

    And second of all…you call others lame? But YOU are the one on lamebook!!!

  27. Jesus Christ this current generation of young people needs their own Vietnam with an equal opportunity male/female draft to thin out the damned ranks a little.

    These fools would be the first out of the hopper and the first in the body bags.

  28. All the girls who write stuff like this say something to the same effect, they are not your average girl, not your ordinary girl. But they are all just like one another. I am so glad I am not in high school and have to deal with stupid bitches like this anymore!

  29. I really hope that first one’s David is my X he totally deserves her.

  30. Haha, she says all that and then says she believes in karma. Maybe she doesn’t really understand the concept, acting as she does she will get shit on by karma for life. Dumb ass

  31. We are supposed to be laughing at angst not adding to it.

  32. Turtles like I.

  33. I love how the first chick talks about how much she loves giving and receiving oral and then goes on to blast other chicks for presenting themselves like hoes. Priceless.

  34. I was going to write what I think the first woman is really like, but it got way too dark and depressing, so I decided to shitcan it. Suffice it to say she’s likely got major self esteem, and other, issues and is likely in an abusive relationship. The second one, on the other hand, just seems like your stereotypical attention whore.

  35. Personal turtle not your

  36. Yeah good call SM, saying her bf owns her vagina kinda makes it seem like she’s talking about her pimp.

  37. INNA GADDA DA PROBLEM is pretty much all I got out of the first one.

  38. @Dee-Lite
    Don’t worry, not all of us vagina owners are hostile; only the prod ones.

  39. I swear LB has either been recycling past entries (ie: background checks and others) or adding new entries that are mirror images of past unfunny, uninteresting entries.

    There are many people submitting better entries than half of the latest (and not repeats) so what gives? Is it just a bot sending these through? These are are far from amazingg

  40. I find it intriguing that those who proclaim that they “DON’T GIVE A FUCK about ANYTHING you have to say”…always actually seem to when you say it.

  41. well hey guys, i just wanted to say that im the girl that made the 2nd profile, and honestly, you can talk as much crap about it as you wish, hell, i probably would too if it was someone else’s profile, but I honestly couldn’t care less. As i said, i know who i am, and i dont act to please, so if you’re not pleased by it, i just dont care. But by all means, continue to talk shit, it entertains me :]

  42. TROLL ALERT

  43. The two baddest bitches in the welfare line. Combined weight 5oolbs +

  44. QUIVERING MASS OF INSECURITY POSING AS A BADASS BITCH CAUSE DADDY DIDN’T LOVE HER ENOUGH ALERT

  45. lol+5

  46. Lolz @ mittens….

  47. @ MilaBLive

    Thankyou for illustrating my point. You “couldn’t care less”…but enough to want to create an account and comment about how much you don’t care.

  48. @Storblington

    Exactly. I’m hoping she “doesn’t care” enough to come back and comment some more and start a good old fashioned cat fight complete with ridiculous insults and virtual chair throwing! That would be so much fun! Ohh I’m just giddy at the thought of it :)

  49. I’m gonna go do someone interesting.

  50. Mila I love you. You may be scary sometimes but that’s what I love about you. You’re just a tough russian and you’re not afraid to be that way.

    Everyone is allowed their opinion and I can understand how these people who come to the conclusions that they have from reading your profile but let’s face it, the first girl is WAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY worse and a lot dumber.

  51. MilaBLive is Frodo. Do you want to fight it the fuck out?

  52. *sigh* Yes, I am insanely jealous that you are in jail, illiterate, have a drug habit (and probably your bf does too and is also probably in jail or been there). I am also jealous that you own a vagina – psh who has one of those these days??

    God I’m so glad I haven’t seen one of these specimen of women since I was 16. They really do make all of us women look much better though :)

  53. Yo, religion, Imma let you finish, but I think reincarnation is one of the most amazing theories of all time!

    Too bad nobody has proven it yet though, but I’m sure somebody is working on that.

  54. @ mittens.

    No reply as yet, so no catfight and/or virtual chair throwing (unfortunately). I’d like to think she disappeared in a cloud of fake tanning solution upon consideration of my infallible logic, but that probably didn’t happen. It almost never does…*sigh*

  55. Yo MilaBlive, Imma let you finish, but the first post is the baddest, hardest, coolest profile of all time!

  56. Maybe my standards are slipping, but MilaBlive, you had me correctly at “I couldn’t care less…”

  57. @cheebee although I see your point, I must point out (only because I find it wildly funny that she even used this term) that the word “lame” and the term “a lame” have two seperate meanings. The second of which is a saying used in american prisons, and now I am assuming, jails since she has been to jail.

  58. GrammaticalErrors

    So she believes in the theory of reincarnation and Karma? She does realise that by being a bitch, doing illegal and “bad” things and not caring about anyone basically ensures she will be reincarnated as a cockroach or something of that nature?

    Maybe that’s her master plan, she wants to survive the impending nuclear holocaust! Crafty devil!

  59. separate*

  60. everyone that says “they don’t give a fuck”…..gives a fuck

  61. Silly dumb emo bitches. Dave is most probably a 12 year old midget with a bad mother fucker wallet.

  62. @Storblington

    I like your theory. Let’s hope that she did see your logic, because the only other likely alternative is that she’s sitting at her computer, reading all of our comments and anxiously planning some silly, contrived response that she just knows will prove to us that our trash talk “entertains” her and she “doesn’t care.” That’s just depressing.

    I probably just wrote a run-on sentence. Deal with it, Lamebook grammar nazis! I’m the baddest bitch around and I don’t give a fuck bout ANYTHING you got to say!!

  63. “Normal people… suck”
    I guess that means fluffers are
    perfectly normal.

  64. gadda problem?

  65. If we keep talking shit on this bitch she might finally get that big break in her agenda of becoming famous. Who knows we could see her and her boo drive through a playground in their oldsmobile with a cigarette and a 40 oz.

  66. “your a lame”
    “no, you’re an adjective”

  67. I feel so bad for people like MilaBlive. It just seems like they can only validate themselves through hate and superiority, when really, it all just stems from insecurity and self-loathing. It must be such a miserable existence. At first I felt anger and frustration at these girls, until I realized how lucky I am to have MY life, and not theirs. They can’t even be called women; just little girls. Honestly, you guys, we should be so lucky we aren’t them.

    Sad though, you only see that kind of behavior from people who were abused as children. :(

    Now… Having said that. @ Storblington: You own.

  68. @ GrammaticalErrors
    In a past life she as a particularly nasty cockroach.

    Both IQs well below adverage … Fucking Peasants !

  69. * was

  70. this post really reminds me of the maury south park episode
    “i don’t care- i do what i want!”

  71. I like turtles.

  72. “Ive had the finest men…”
    Sure. How could the finest among men resist her?

    “…not bcuz I’m a typical ho”
    You are a typical ho? Woman, you are full of surprises.

    “…but bcuz I can sit back with my man, and laugh at all u hoes”
    You can do that? Gawd, are any men actually worthy of such a fine specimen? Those scientists running the Large Hadron Collider may as well just down their tools right now, they’ll never accomplish anything. Male and female, that is. Only the finest who can sit back with her will ever deserve her.

  73. Oh boy, where do I start?
    “We don’t give a fuck about anything you have to say”
    Really? Cause I read:
    “.. and if you try to fuck with me, he and his boys will take you out.”
    Looks like you do care a little about what other people say.

    “Keep my name our ur mouth ho, I aint no dick.”
    I don’t know what you are trying to say, but it sounds very odd.

    “I am a proud owner of a vagina.”
    Okay, you are implying you are female, if we shouldn’t have noticed.
    “For now, it is very much owned by someone named David.”
    Wait, what? Not only that you talk in stereotypical foreigner accent, you also used one term for two different meanings! Either that means that for some reason, that this David literally has your vagina, or it means that you are masturbating.

    “If you have a problem with this, talk to him about it.”
    Oh boy, that tergiversates with so many sentences you said.
    Let’s start with this one:
    Are you saying one diplomatic conversation with your current boyfriend will decide of “your vagina’s ownership”? What is this, the bible?
    “… not because I am a typical ho.”
    That quote just got a lot less credible.
    Next:
    “We don’t give a fuck about anything you have to say”
    Okay, that gives us the idea that you are the ideal couple others can’t tear apart.
    After all, you say “… STOP trying to break us up …”
    Sadly, that contradicts with the fact that anybody is able to talk to your boyfriend in order to be your new girlfriend.

    “I believe in karma, … and that reincarnation is an amazing theory.”
    Are you planning on reincarnate as a tapeworm? Cause you are on the right way to do so.
    And you believing in karma is as believable as a redneck believing in pacifism.

    “It’s much more fun than sex.”
    Oh really? May I remind you?
    “For now, it is very much owned by someone named David.”
    What is he doing with that thing?

    “Girls that act like cunts get treated like cunts.”
    Good suggestion.
    “I am the baddest, hardest, coolest, bitch you will ever meet.”
    “I have many issues, I am a bitch, and I am proud to say so.”
    Go on, go cripple yourself emotionally. You deserved it.

    “…, and NOONE will EVER respect you.”
    NOONe will EVER respect you neither. You’re not that impressive, you know.

    Oh well, at least she used proper english, for a change.
    “I’m not your adverage girl, …”
    Oh shit.

  74. That so-called ‘ganster’ bitch clearly does give a shit what people think… why the hell else would she take her time to write this?!
    People obviously don’t give a shit about or respect either of them because she’s trying wayyyyy too hard.
    She does deserve to be shot, though.

  75. Seriously, what a retard! I don’t really have much to say that hasn’t been said before… except for the fact I HATE people who brag about the fact they don’t read books as if it’s something to be proud of!

    Illiterate moron!

  76. Shes right about one thing, she sure isnt ” adverage”

  77. God, I hate these sorts of people. They really need to get over themselves and realise that they are not as special or unique as they think they are :| That’s why a million just like ‘em show up on places like lamebook.

    Oh, and the whole “being yourself” thing is a load of crap, if you take it to mean “I never have to attempt to improve myself in any way.” Sorry to inform you, but you actually are NOT perfect just the way you are, despite what your mommy may have told you. And saying “LOL I’M A BITCH AND I DONT CARE” or “I DO WHATEVER I WANT SO FUCK OFF LOL”, etc, does not make you edgy in any way. It just makes me think you’re too ill-mannered and obnoxious to function in society, so you have to make up excuses for being a rude, arrogant twat :|

  78. “Normal” people fucking suck… go do or be someone or something interesting…

    followed by

    I think more people should strive for being themselves…In my mind perfect is being urself.

  79. wow i’m so jealous!!! she’s soooooo cool…i wish i was like her…NOT!!! ha ha ha. I wonder how many people she’s impressed with that load of bollocks!

  80. Calm down for fuck sake girls, I’m sure there’s a perfectly good reason why Daddy doesn’t show you the attention you deserve.

    I remember not caring what other people thought and shouting it at the world too. Unfortunately the world just hears a screaming, mewling, confused adolescent girl desperate for attention and not the confident no nonsense bitch that you were hoping for.

  81. The first girl probably got arrested once or twice for shoplifting and having spent a few hours in jail she read some magazines there to keep herself busy. That explains her profile info. As far as her renting her vagina to this Dave guy, well… is she paying taxes for that?

  82. I was going to say something, but then I realized I’m just jealous of her and Dave.

    Man, I wish I owned her vagina.

  83. Shit! No! Now Dave and his boys are gonna take me out! Better draft a will.

    Man, I love being anonymous and hiding behind a screen.
    *waves*

  84. @Felix: Love the Pulp Fiction reference.

    We are simply not worthy of your profound understanding of the issues here

  85. i love that first girl.

  86. First girl, your a lame.

    Kudos to the second girl, at least she can punctuate.

  87. @86 – *you’re

  88. I want someone to give me back the 5 minutes of my life I wasted deciphering that crap.

  89. Who thinks shes a little shy girl from a tiny village, wishing this was her life? I bet her name is suzy ann, and both her parents live together, and shes got a poodle called david?
    Just a thought…

  90. I am the catholic owner of a vagina.

  91. I’m willing to bet they both weigh 300+ pounds.

  92. “your a lame.” <3

  93. Proud owner of a vagina AND a vocabulary here. So tired of inarticulate, uneducated skanks who can’t seem to resist posting how very inarticulate, uneducated and skanky they are.

    Skank one, meet skank two. Skank two, meet skank one. No you two run along and rob a convenience store together. Mmmkay?

  94. Yaya, I find your own idiot spelling and grammar mistakes wildly amusing when taken in the context of your bitching about the young psychotic’s poor writing.
    Glass houses. Rocks. Don’t mix.

  95. @knucklepopper I don’t bitch about people’s spelling errors. There are others on here who are far more qualified for that job. I do not represent myself as a spelling bee champ.

    I was bitching about the content of the girls profiles, not their spelling.

    Glad I could amuse. Brick house.

  96. no MilaBLive sweetheart, you entertain us….carry on

  97. Prisoner 1377083 has: 1 friend

  98. Ohhh I didnt know that Dazeyduke! Im from NZ, we dont say stuff like that here!
    Regardless, shes still LAME! LOL! :P

  99. Simply owning a vagina is nothing to be ‘prod’ of. Now if she had kept all receipts and service logs, got regular oil and fluid changes and was the original owner, then I might be impressed.

  100. I’m gonna bet that if someone slapped her infront of her mom…..her mom would laugh.
    People who have to write pages and pages about themselves being cool and not giving 2 fucks about anyone else are the ones who go to bed at night wishing they had friends.

  101. @cheebee, oh I didn’t expect anybody to really get it, even if they were from the states. I live in California, and I heard about being “a lame” not very long ago. Anyways, it’s a stupid phrase to use, which also goes to show how lame she is.

    ps. I want to go to New Zealand! it looks so beautiful…

  102. pahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…………..both girls are without doubt the highest species of losers iv ever come across….oh girls im so scared…id say in reality theres more toughness in my effin baby toe than there is in either of the “all talk no action” idiots!!….god i havnt laughed as hard in a long time :) love lamebook :)

  103. @kate You must be a SUPAH-gangsta girl then?
    don’t be hatin’ she doesn’t give a fuck, you shouldn’t either..

    peace

  104. PROTIP: If you ever claim that you don’t give a shit, chances are you’re really self-conscious. Also, I’m pretty sure you don’t earn the title of “baddest, hardest, coolest bitch” when your jail time was due to a drunk and disorderly arrest, which is most likely what this woman is guilty of. And I don’t think she sees the sadness in claiming that she doesn’t care what people think about her, and then proceeds to spend a few minutes (probably several on her part) typing out a description for Facebook. And “reincarnation” isn’t a theory, it’s a belief. And it’s not “amazing;” it’s not like a delicious sandwich. It’s a complicated, bureaucratic process riddled with pettiness and unfairness (if you believe in multiple gods and spirits, that is).
    In short, this woman’s an idiot.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.