Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Pro Parents

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34 Comments

  1. I have a cousin that didn’t know she was pregnant until she was 8 months into it. It does happen.

  2. christopherlovet

    I have a friend who didn’t know she was pregnant until she went to the hospital for pain and they told her she was in labor.

  3. are they obese? not asking this to be mean, just in all of those TLC shows i’ve watched that have to do with this subject matter, the women have always been obese

  4. Silence is golden, Duct tape is Silver.

  5. @giantslug I’d agree, My other half is slim but showed very little while carrying, baby much bigger now tho 0_o

  6. You know when you’re pregnant. There is no way to not know. Unless, you are paralyzed from the chest down and cannot feel the baby kicking your ribs in. Even an obese woman knows she is pregnant.

  7. My cousin is large, but not necessarily obese. She had lady issues all the time, and the doctor told her she would never get pregnant. So, she went to town with her man… They had to have an emergency wedding so that she could get healthcare (this happened back in Mexico).

  8. My mom was told at a very early age that she could not have children because of the fertility medicine my grandmother used to conceive her and her sisters so in the 70′s she was quite the social butterfly in our community of 20,000 especially with the men folk. It was the 70′s and she’s an alcoholic and was a coke head so you know what happened? ME! :) & there are about 10000 guys in this town that could be my dad FML

  9. Why can’t he take a baby girl to a pub?

  10. Anyone who calls it ‘duck tape’ shouldn’t be allowed children

  11. There’s a duck on the duct tape that I buy, so I call it duck tape to signify the brand of tape, and because ducks are awesome.

  12. you got it backward, gonzo. I think the chappy with the ‘duck’ tape is probably the only one out of these three winnahs who should be allowed within 50m of a child.
    also fat chicks ‘not knowing’ that they are pregnant? does anyone really believe their bullshit? fun fact – fat chicks tell lies just as well as normal people.

  13. If that child is still playing with his own shit at his age, he’s already got more issues than being duct taped to the wall.

  14. where does it say it was the child’s own shit?

  15. If you’re going to get technical it didn’t say it was his own shit.. I guess I’d rather think it was his own rather than someone elses .If that’s the case more than duct tape is needed for sure.

  16. i’m an optimist. i find if i always imagine the worst of people, i will never be disappointed.
    …that’s optimism, right?

  17. That was done already in Malcolm in the Middle. And seriously if you can’t figure out you are pregnant that is the biggest fail I have ever heard of.

  18. I’M GUESSING THE PREGNANT LADY KNEW , OR DID SHE FORGET SHE LET SOME DUDE SPUNK INSIDE OF HER ? THAT’S THE MESSED UP PART, WAS SHE RAPED ? PERHAPS.
    BUT IF I WAS A GIRL I’D BE WORRIED. WHEN EVER I BONE A CHICK WITHOUT A CONDOM I’M WONDERING IF I GOT THE HERPE , OR IF SHE HAS A BABY. RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. ^so you were worried once.

  20. …BUT GUINEA PIGS DON’T CARRY THE HUMAN HSV.

  21. can you two please keep it down?

  22. worried she had a baby? I guess if she did/does, the least you could do is offer her a ride to the fire station. It’s like a lost and found/return box for the little monsters!

  23. ^or just flog it off on flEabay to a cryptozoologist.

  24. A woman let ToTheFlames inside of her and jizz in her, no less? That thought is so very disturbing. Mate, I only hope you can use your fingers on a woman better than you can use them on a keyboard. Fuck me.

  25. That was not an invitation, by the way.

  26. princesspuffypants

    Wow… soooo hardcore!

  27. ^you must be new here, princess.

  28. At the risk of being stoned… if you Google ‘Duck tape’ it would appear that there is actually a brand of duct tape called Duck Tape. I actually had to look it up myself because I too thought people who called it duck tape were just… thick.

    I suppose it’s rather like calling your vacuum cleaner a hoover, even when it isn’t.

    And so ends my useless information of the day.

  29. bluhevs, be that as it may, the people who refer to it as duck tape are just ignorant. I doubt that Duck Tape has such a huge following that it has become synonymous with duct tape. We’re not talking Band Aids or Panadol here.

  30. I call those plasters and paracetomol.

    I don’t know where Duck Tape is made/used. I’m sure we don’t have it here. So any people who refer to it as duck tape around me are, yes, ignorant.

  31. I knew a chick who didn’t know she was pregnant til 8 months and she was very slim. But she was also a two pack a day smoker so her baby was super underweight…… When she realised, she kicked the smokes and ate a dickload of food so her baby gained weight…. But instead she just got super fat and her baby was malnourished. I guess everyone’s a loser in that situation…

  32. ^bullshit.
    from 4-6 months onward, foetuses – even the small, chain-smoking ones – tend to kick like fuck. unless they are dead.
    so, unless she’s a chronic fucking liar, or paralysed from the neck down, you’re full of shit.

  33. ^ not all of them do.

    Less active fetuses are rare, but they do occur. And, for a woman who doesn’t know she’s pregnant, the occasional movements of a less active fetus (or of a fetus which is in a weird position), may get written off in their mind as some other weird medical thing.

  34. ‘less active fetus’ my soft, pink ass.
    maybe a thalidomide baby, or another similar disfigurement (as i do realise thalidomides are totally out of print).
    but let’s just entertain Occam’s Razor? Chances are highest that the bitch be lying.

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