They both sound like idiots. His initial status was self-serving and dumb. He’s the kind of one night stand that your friends will give you endless shit about because he’s such a douchebag. WHY would you admit to hitting that?
This Jade person is for sure a fake account. Everything Tommy claims to have done to this girl, she readily admits to in the same thread? C’mon: “You got it on my hair”. No one would admit to receiving a facial and then qualify it with that statement instead of just denying it. I think this is a stunt to manufacture an epic lamebook post. Hasn’t anyone noticed none of his friends seem to know who this Jade girl is in the first place? FAKEBOOK for sure.
@Fake … No way this is fake. A: I doubt anyone would spend 8 hours just to get on Lamebook. B: People can’t make this shit up. C: His friends don’t know her cause it’s from 3 years ago. and D: If it WAS fake, I think they’d at least put a fake profile picture up for Jade instead of leaving it blank.
I don’t get how she can comment without being his friend, even if his profile is public… He is a giant ass, though. She needs to just forget some asshole that it didn’t work out with, but Jesus H. Christ. To start off his response with “haven’t I been inside you?” then to going into details about what happened. I hope every potential girlfriend/one-night-stand sees this and thinks twice. It is like sleeping with Tucker Max.
If Jade hates Thomas so much and thinks he’s such a horrible person, shouldn’t she have the common sense to remove him from her friends list and block him? Same thing can apply to Thomas, since he accused Jade of stalking him.
yea i read that ‘havent i been inside you’ line and realized the rest of his post were probably as stupid as he is… you cant rip off a movie quote and pretend you made it up. then again i bet that guy gets half his humor/personality from theonion.com
It was entertaining but sounds scripted. Her responses were too perfect and we went from psycho who “called 30 times a day” to “you got it in my hair and I like being choked on the first date.”
Too linear of a build up.
I’m calling shenanigans.
On the other hand, every man should have the contact info to one woman like that on his Blackberry.
Who gives a shit if this is fake. We are talking about lamebook here… not cnn.
I’ve been following lamebook in my Google reader, and I must admit that I do appreciate when I see there are a few unread posts for me to check out while I sit and waste my day away at work. This, by far, is probably my favorite post on lamebook. Fake or not, the shit was brilliant, and I want to believe that there is a girl out there who put herself in that position. I wish my facebook wall was half as exciting.
Lol, fair play to Jade bringing out the “big guns” on the first date. My fave is when Alison uses this argument to shamefully flirt with Thomas, it’s cringeworthy and pathetic but I bet it got her a PM
FAKE. And I agree with whoever it was up there that said it takes all the fun out of it if it’s fake.
Too many people arguing that it’s real. If this jade chick is so attractive like Thomas says, maybe she would have a photo of herself as a profile pic. Just saying.
Plus it looks too well-written and edited. Feed your ego and get on lamebook at the same time!
If you think this is a fake and you think people wouldn’t air this stuff out on the internet like this, then you’re not friends with enough fucked-up people. Trust me- they’re out there! But whatever, it’s funny.
Of course people air out stuff on the net like this ALL the time- they’re usually far less literate. You would think she’d be too pissed to be so coherent. And I don’t doubt the lengths some would go to to get on lamebook and get attention. I might be totally wrong, but nothing Thomas has stated to suggest this is real is irrefutable.
This just didn’t make me laugh the way an authentic post would. There have been far better.
You can see that I have not used that site in three years and it says the date in which I uploaded the picture. I know that doesn’t prove that this is 100% real, but whatever it’s all I can think of and it’s not that big of a deal.
The comments on here are funnier than the exchange between that nutcase and I, even the ones that hate me. Very nicely done.
Oh, and my original status update is a quote from a 50 Cent song and is meant to be self-deprecating and in jest…
I have known a lot of crazy girls but this is just so scripted. If it is true the guy is acting just as classless as the girl. He started this claiming on facebook people say he is sexy. And turns even more disgusting as the story goes on.
It’s like Lamebook can never win with you people. You’re either bitching about how ‘unfunny’ something is, or calling it fake when it’s really, really hilarious.
Not only has this ‘Thomas G’ guy provided you with adequate proof (AND PICTURES, I might add!)of its realness, he has also answered all questions posed. Plus the little fact this is FAR too elaborate to be faked, I mean; come on!
I can assure you that I am not “Grow Up”. I haven’t once defended, nor felt the need to defend myself like that in all of my previous posts. I have simply answered posed questions and tried to provide proof of this being real, not for me, but for the ones who thought it would be “ruined” had this been fake.
Oh, and once again, the “sexy” line is from a 50 Cent song and is meant to be in jest.
i agree with Grow Up on all accounts…the people commenting on here are so lame calling it fake…nobody cares if u think it’s real or not anyway!! and one of the main reasons u all think it’s fake is cos the spelling & grammar is too good? u kidding me? u really are grammar junkies aren’t u? the fact that to be able to class it as lame the spelling/grammar MUST be incorrect?! what is wrong with u people!!?
and i definitely know crazy obsessive girls who would readily admit to this freaky kinda shit. she obviously doesnt know any of tommy’s friends so why would she care if shes posting it on his status?
TOMMY…or anyone!!- get jade on lamebook so she might actually realise what a fucking idiot she is!!! i <3 tommy!
If you feel like pointing out that this is fake, may I please suggest that instead of that course of action, you kindly just FUCK OFF INSTEAD. Props to Tommy G, this was hilarious. By the way, are you related to Kenny G?
Hilarious. Hilarious the first time I saw it. More hilarious now that young TommyG has commented on it.
@Cathy – so true. Not a great look on a girl and clearly this boy has a couple of braincells, good spelling and grammar etc., so why exactly would you go for a girl that looks like Argos has thrown up on her (Brit reference – apologies, yanks.)
@Tommy – FTW. Clearly, you funnee boy. Snaps, dude.
They’re both idiots. I feel sorry for Jade though. Maybe she has a mental illness? I dunno. Anyways If she is ‘physically very attractive’ and he is ‘sexy’ that must make me and my man, like, THE most desirable people on earth. Ha. kidding, but yeah something like that.
i wish i had the time to read all of your comments..
well guess what… it was indeed fake!
sorry to burst all of your bubbles but i am “jade” =)
this was actually based on a story but it was writen fictionally!!!
wow but seriously this was one of the greatest memories of my life!!!
Give the guy a break! He’s minding his own business by simply putting up a status update (without us having to qualify our views of how asinine/trivial we thought the update was) when a blast from the past gratuitously publicly libels him and he’s expected to stay mute? He gave her fair warning that she shouldn’t ‘play this game’ and she ignored it. Keep up the good work Thomas. This has to be the funniest lame thread yet! The worst criticism he should receive is that he didn’t use quotation marks for the excerpts from other people’s work!
Ya Tommy their stupidity is pretty funny but these people thinking they’re being funny and original and correct in the drivel they post is the annoying part. Just because its never happened to you means its not true isn’t solid logic.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha … this arguemnt was fking legend!!! Tommy sounds like hes in the right here, whereas jade sounds like a bloody bondage loving psychopath …
n yh, this convo deffo needs pictures 2 illerstrate. lol
dude, the next time a girl wants you to choke her during sex- just do it. what is wrong with you?? don’t you want her to enjoy? some girls like it rough (nothing wrong with that heh) so stop being such a pussy.
your feeble attempts to present yourself as a sexy manly-man resulted in your blatant douchbaggery. not classy dude, not classy at all…
its real, i mean the girl saying all that, there are definately girls who say dumb shit like that all the time(she probably has low self esteem and telling the world how she is a freak gets guys attention). Also she was probably drunk again when she made all these comments.
but all the comments on this are really funny! i just wasted alot of time reading some haha, but i looked at the picture of the happy couple and i think all of you people calling them unattractive are idiots.. lets see a picture list of all the people you’ve slept with and compare. Jade isn’t a model, but she is attractive, very nice for a 1 night stand. and Tommy is also pretty attractive… you people don’t have to be so mean!
Hero! She ignored the warning and you took her to pieces. Epic win.
How tragic is it that some people feel the need to shout “fake”? I mean, cheers for ruining any enjoyment people might get from reading this stuff! Kindly jog the fuck on, and let others just appreciate a damn good argument, whether or not it’s real.
Next you’ll be bitching that stuff on youtube/Friends/the moon landing was fake…
Am I alone in thinking someone, somewhere is surely in the process of creating a site lampooning Lamebook? Or does it already exist? Wtf? Perhaps the most incredible and disconcerting experience i’ve encountered on here. Don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the absurdity of it all really.
Oh my God, I got emailed this and it MADE MY DAY! Funniest thing ever, it has now done the rounds of my office (and many more by the looks of the email chain!)
Tommy, you may be a bit of a twat but you’re funny as hell and that girl is freaking insane! I love your friends’ comments, I think Bernie is my hero! You might want to rethink where you take girls though… The Waffle House? Really????
For all of you that think the spelling and grammar is too good to be real, that is just depressing. Get a grip! Not everyone writes in lame abbreviations with shite spelling & grammar!
Fake. Was on an e-mail chain years ago almost verbatim. The conversational friends have been added and it’s been extended a bit (to work better on facebook) but all been done before.
Good effort but it’s still stolen material through and through – some of it 4th or 5th generation.
You are 100% wrong. I don’t know what more proof you want, but your assertions are incorrect. I’m not sure why you would make something up about this conversation being on an email chain, but surely someone would have spotted it by now if that were true.
The girl isn’t that pretty, but Thomas pretty much looks like a dork. What was she even thinking?
If this is in fact true, I don’t see what might be wrong with a girl who likes it rough and a bit extreme. I know I’d certainly get bored with regular sex all the time, but apparently Thomas is too much of a pussy to enjoy the fact that a girl is sharing her kinks with him. I also don’t see how “playfully being a dick” is supposed to be considered nice. I don’t think any woman whould like that.
y da fuk she so messdd forr?
oh goddd.. tommys too full of himself cuz hez prolli rell hottt… n tht jade woman.. she prolli stuffdd her ass, shaved er bakk n all dat shitt..
sumones gotta teach er whn to stoppp..
shes a retard to keep her ass in thatt convooo..
I’m not buying this. This guy has been proven to be a fake before this. He has the handle TAG4UK on the rivals network of sports message boards. He’s banned from the boards I post on for flaming, trolling, and being a douche, so now he uses the username to go on people’s fanpages and screw with them. Would have never pieced it was him either had I not read the comments and seen someone with the initails T.A.G. post here. If anyone has a rivals.com username, go look his profile up. The pic will look very similar to the picture blurred on this lamebook entry.
You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. I was banned for being a douchebag…so that means this is fake? That actually corroborates this post more than discredits it.
If you actually knew anything about me on that board, you’d know that tommyg4uk is my real username. Not sure what I have ever faked on there or anywhere else for that matter. Please feel free to enlighten me.
I’m sure I called you a tool or something in the past, now you want to cry on here. Quit being a little vag.
Also, I’m not sure why you thought it would be a good “jab” to post a username to a sports message board I haven’t posted on in three years…I gave my full real name on here, anyone can see the original post and ask any questions they like.
If this has REALLY bothered you at all in any way then FUCK YOU you’re clearly the exact type of moron that this site is designed to make fun of, the overly sensitive aspergers riddled 13-17 yearold spastics who clearly have no place on the internet. You’re on a site designed to make fun of people who’ve said really really dumb shit on a semi-public forum. You’re essentially here to make fun of strangers . . . This guy just fucked a psycho and didn’t call her back (for very good reason as she sounds like a psycho who tried to break out a rape fantasy on a first date before proceeding to puke in the guys flat and attempt to climb back on) then ripped her online for having a go at him three years on on facebook over a trivial status, you however are a dirty filthy pathetic scumbag who is here to laugh at other peoples very being and attempts to function through their everyday life on their own semi-private friends page, who’s the assholes here? Yeah that’s right fuckface, me . . . and you of course.
Now lets pick 10 especially special retards in order of occurrence:
1. Argh – Hohoooo you sure told him. Aren’t you quite the little passive-agressivist, oooo hey maybe he even read your comment and you hurt his feelings, you go girl! Best leave your name off it just in case he can track you down . . . you never know!
2. ‘Fake’ – Ooop another SLY DOG here, yet again following the trend of an unidentifiable name JUST IN CASE they can pick you out from using anything related to the user not their shitpost . . . Like I said before, the internet is veeery crafty. Great minds think alike clearly. What really strikes me about this one is the fact that if someone has gone to the effort to create this fakepost NO ONE CARES. It would probably take more effort to fake it than for it to actually happen and either way it’s hilarious. Do you really need genuine human misery before you can beat your meat to this last fortress of human honesty? If so, nice one inspector Faggot, you really got your guy this time! ‘This Jade person is for sure a fake account’ . . . wait, excuse me? This Jade PERSON . . . is for sure a FAKE account? OK whatever we’ll let that little piece of stupidity slide for now but I do really enjoy the fact you gave yourself away as a tween or the overly moral asshole everyone hates of your friends group by the, ‘Hasn’t anyone noticed none of his friends seem to know who this Jade girl is ‘ comment . . . Why the hell would a guys friends know a girl he’s taken out for a date once, banged and never spoken to again? Doesn’t add up does it . . . but kudos for trying.
3. Joe – @15 Hey joe I agree this could be fake but don’t really care but I especially find your argument to be pretty damn retarded as 1.) english is a fairly regular language, people tend to talk in a pretty standard way especially when arguing as you need to be clear and concise 2.) your arguement would suggest you’re a tween who subscribes to the idea that everyone needs their ‘ow3n 0n1ii|/|3 wR11tin 5ty3l’ online.
4. Person – This one doesn’t even need thinking about, it’s just an absolute gem so I’ll just quote it straight up:
This is wonderful.
I somewhat hate this guy, yet loathe him.
5. kiki – Oh kiki . . . you’ve got a lot to learn. Women, just like men (Oh god are the genders really equally moronic?! Are your idiotic playground ramblings all a lie?! Sorry to turn your world upside down but) can be pretty fucking stupid at times. If you need proof of this look at least 50% of the posts on this site.
Loving that you made yourself look so stupid ‘tho!!’
6. Lesbo – AW YEAH YOU GO GIRL! Don’t be afraid of your ‘lesbo’ self you tell em tiger. What a fascinating insight into the lesbian mindset thanks so much for your input! But no, seriously, you’re an idiot. It’s the 21st century, we don’t need the token lesbian response. I don’t mean to imply that you’re the ‘token lesbian’ of the board but more that you have made your entire post about being a lesbian when no one even made a reference to your being a lesbian what so ever. How HARD it must be for you with all those ‘psychos’, clearly you’re different and cool and the cream of the lesbian crop, how would us straight folk ever have understood that as a lesbian you wouldn’t want to be with this pathetic psycho because we’re all clearly so uninformed and confused in the 21st fucking century that we need you to point this out for us! Thank you oh great lesbian savior! Sorry to disappoint you but the ‘edgy’ factor to being homosexual wore off a long time ago, no one really gives a fuck about anyone elses sexual orientation anymore, it’s more about who you are as a person not where you stick your tongue. Which is a shame for people like me and you as we’re both complete assholes, you’re clearly a fucking moron and I can do some amazing things with my big homo tongue and we get enough assholes as it is, thank you very much.
7. Julie – AHAHAHA OH JULIE YOU ARE SO RIGHT THAT WOULD BE FUCKING HILARIOUS I NEVER WOULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT OF THAT!?!? It’s good that you pointed it out so I could enjoy that situation in my mind as if it were happening here and now, if only all of us had a basic mental function that could point out things like this for everyone in their day to day life. If anything I’d say it sounds like you have something like that mythical capacity from days of old, imagination, but much, much simpler and less entertaining. Maybe you’ve heard of it as you certainly do seem quite the educated scholar, not one to faf around with all that silly ‘text lingo’ or more accurately and far pre-dating text messaging . . . internet lingo . . . when discussing posts on the internet . . . in a post on the internet . . . you pompous fuck.
8. ‘wanker’ – Oh daaaamn you scolded him son! I bet you’ve never recounted a line from a movie or a TV show or a lyric in your entire life nevermind for comical effect! Now that’s just preposterous! Of all the morons going on about how he’s quoted various things Mr. wanker here is by far my favourite because of the wild implications of his post. Not only did ‘Tommy’ quote the movie but also it seems at some point he claimed he made it up?! Oh shit! Maybe now you have a case, we could at least get a copyright suit going against lamebook for having adverts on the same page! Especially one as well known and clearly so incredibly unlikely to occur in this situation as something as genius as ‘havn’t I been inside you?’. Good luck getting it past the lawyer shit head and even if it’s stolen who gives a flying fuck, it’s about as relevant to whether or not the post is funny as whether the entire situation is faked or not. As for half of his ‘humour/personality’ being from The Onion, make your fucking mind up, is it is humour or his personality? Furthermore which half? There doesn’t seem to be anything remotely relating to The Onion or The Onions style in the post at the top of the page . . . or any subsequent posts on here . . . furthermore The Onion is openly a parody news site, other than the fact it may be faked (in no way openly which would disqualify it from being relevant to this even if it is faked) your comment has absolutely no clear aim or purpose other than to imply he’s a fan of The Onion . . . a site that gets thousands of hits each day and has won awards not only for comedy but also journalism despite it being parody news and has tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands of fans world wide that appreciate it. By my count your attempt at posting online has garnered you one response, me, and I think you’re an unfunny, idiotic cunt so that’s pretty much a 100% fuck you from the audience. Also for someone so fucking pretentious how have you managed to avoid using capital letters all the way up to your 14th birthday lil’wank.
9. Steve-o – Oh Steve-o, now you are just a precious. We covered a little earlier a little concept called ‘imagination’ and in trying to think of a way to explain ‘imagination’ to retards for that section of the post not once did I think to describe it as ‘that thing that happens when you watch too much Jerry Springer’. If only I was as intelligent and downright clearly communicative as yourself good sir then maybe I’d be manager at Burger King right now instead of sat at the computer wishing the majority of you had been butchered at birth. Nice one on the ‘redneck trailor-trash’ put down there though guy. Maybe if you’d thought a little more before trying that one out it would have only sounded mildly uncreative and generically pathetic but when posting as ‘Steve-o’ the hypocrisy makes it truly something special.
10. Cricket – Hey Cricket, this one’s gonna be a short one because I don’t think someone as . . . ‘unique’ as yourself could handle much more. You see at the top of the page? Yeah that picture of facebook, the little screenshot up there? Right well when whoever submitted this to the site what they did was take a quick screenshot of it and then put it online. That’s kind of how most people show that their lamebooks happened here, it’s somewhat of a standard but how could you have known that, for all we know this could be your first foray onto lamebook and outside of your fucking playpen you invalid.
Right . . . well that’s 10 and I only made it to comment 63 so I guess you special little bunch can be joyous in the fact that you’re only stupider than 5/6 of the first 63, way to go!
Always think before you post, especially on a public site designed to make fun of people who say really moronic things in a semi-public forum.
as I probably won’t be back on this thread after discovering it’s populated by failed cloning experiments and the royal aspergers society.
I’m somewhat befuddled by Chris’ post. He rails against various people’s rantings, all the while not realising his huge rant will & does make him look like the biggest dork of all?
So various people replying are “aspergers inflicted blah blah blahs”? Then trust those of us reading the various posts to figure it out without needing another to write a Dostoyevsky novel length post informing us of such. I think someone hasn’t had sex in a few years – a lot of tension is needed for someone to waste so much time on such futility.
Thomas G. – I think you’re awesome. Screw all these idiots who think this is fake and think you’re a douche, because you’re not. These idiots obviously just can’t read. They failed to see that you are quoting the movies and TV shows and songs you like and calling you a douche for that. And then people are pointing out ‘Durrr, that’s from Waiting!’ like you haven’t already said that a thousand times. Props to you for dealing with this crazy Jade bitch the right way. You rock.
LMAO!!! this is great! I spent 8 hours working… they spent 8 hours cyberfighting… smhl… i love lameness!! And yes… he did totally rip off the waiting comment.. (ps.. i also think this may be a “henne plot”)
Honestly, this reminds me of a girl I used to live in the dorm next to…wasn’t named Jade, but I really wouldn’t put this past her. Holy hell…Yep, after dealing with crazy next door neighbor, I have no problem believing this.
Holy shit – what is this Jade chick’s phone number? Tommy is a fucking idiot for kicking that fun bag to the curb. Is he fucking retarded? If some bitch hits me with a choke me, jam it in my ass, and spackle my face request I’m putting her on speed-dial. Tommy’s friends are fucking losers.
@ Post 93: (… AND a reference to Jackson Pollack. The average lame-ster would think that was a fish) and many others, including those who claim it’s all genuine… it just has to be said. It’s Jackson Pollock. With an O. And one fuck of a back catalogue. And a name that’s totally Googlable, if indeed you’re not into reading or weren’t paying attention the eleventy-trillion times ‘Blue Poles’ has popped up in the media. Call me lame if you think I sound arrogant – your shit sounds stupid when you can’t get it right. May as well spell it with a multiplication sign.
Thomas G., I think you’re actually pretty awesome to come on here and give us a picture, the rest of the ‘read more’, and answer all the people slagging you off.
That Jade girl sounds entirely unhinged. I quite like a bit of role play myself, and some of the things she wanted to do aren’t foreign to me BUT she’s retarded for one of two reasons:
1. It was a one night stand and she figured it would be ok because she’d never see him again – she then became his friend on FB? Retarded!
2. She liked the dude and wanted more to come of it, in which case wait a while before bringing out your sexual deviance. Not only because it’s a bit heavy for the first time but also because it gives you somewhee to go. If you use all your kinky shit up on the first encounter, it’s going to be pretty hard to spice things up when sex with that person gets a bit samey.
Mike, you moron, I’ve already said three times that quote was from “Waiting”. If you were such an investigative genius, you’d also realize the quotes from “Entourage” and “Anchorman”. In fact, most of my statuses and replies are from movies or TV shows…I wasn’t expecting this exchange between Jade and I to be posted on a website so tools like yourself could read it. The people on my friends list understand that I quote things.
Thanks Kaitlin. Actually, you’re only doing me a favor with the line of work I’m in. I’m guessing you’re bitter because this hits a little too close to home.
Just wanted to throw it out there that I “friended” Tommy on Facebook to verify this stuff and it is actually on his Facebook site so if he did “fake” it then it was a really really elaborate fake. So my vote goes for the fact that people are really just that crazy.
This is a AWESOME fucking post!!! I havent laughed so friggen hard at how stupid a girl could be U blatently warned her not to start and she did Kudos Buddy Fucking hilarious however if i was in jades shoes ide prolly be mad too but everyone knows U DONT ADD ONE NIGHT STANDS TO FB especially if your a PHREAk between the sheets that ammo for situations like this LMAO too funny
Undeniable proof that christianity is good. But I would be concerned if I were Tommy. The phrase “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you” takes a whole new meaning when you are thinking of a girl who wants to get raped and thrown against a wall.
But kudos to Tommy.
What photo link? The whole conversation is a screen capture.
1. Well, one commenter said they watched it go down in their feedm therefore it must be real. Not really. If Tommy is playing both Tommy and Jade, then he is duping all the rest of his friends who are posting as if the conversation were real, as they assume it must be, so the feed would be in “real time” without being authentic.
2. It could be real, and her pic would still not be there depending on her privacy settings. The person taking the screen capture was not her friend and couldn’t see her pic.
3. I think Tommy was pranking everyone, but it could be authentic. Who knows?
That Thomas kid is a goddamn douche and a liar.
I hated him as soon as i read his status but cheered for him when Jade couldn’t maintain her cool but it didn’t take me long to realize that there is no Jade…she does not exist.
Thomas IS Jade and probably the creep serial killer from “Silence of the Lambs.”
Eat a dick and choke on it Thomas, i hope you die.
i think your quite cute Thommy… and still ripening nicely at that age… always remember for some reason or another… some ppl just have to judge and be arsholes… your humility and honesty is very refreshing
And this is lamebook people!!!!!! Not Cluedo!!!! Or ‘spot the fake’….. idiots
@patch pumpkin and Pirate Bunny: Agreed. Don’t know who “Tucker Max” is, but I’ve known egotistical dipshits like Tommy-boy. That kind’a shit he spewed out at first, that inadvertantly goaded Jade into commenting, is the kind’a shit that makes me want to feed a fist down his esophagus and watch him choke on it.
Also, I feel bad for Jade, too. It’s hell not havin’ anyone on your side.
I’ve studied all the comments and surveyed all the photos and submitted evidence and have come up with one painless conclusion that makes everyone a little right and a little wrong and puts the whole damn thing in perspective.
Thomas’ only lie is who is in the photo he’s provided. He’s at a Waffle House all right, but that isn’t Jade. That’s him and Tammy, his second cousin twice removed — the one from Bulgaria, where they wear rings on their fingers and bells on their toes. She was in town last year for a family reunion and Thomas saw this as an opportunity to cover his tracks a little and add validity to his story among us Lamesters. This known, of course, one might ask: “If that wasn’t Jade in the photo and the conversation was real, why would he continually post here and embellish his yarn with photographic “evidence” and explanations to further assert his claim?” Oh! The joy of discovery! Read on, dear Lamester, and the Guru will reveal all…
The conversation did take place. Just as it was written. None of Thomas’ friends knew Jade, yet Jade had somehow gotten on his friend’s list. How are these facts even relevant? Praytell!
“Jade” is an over-emotional, S&M-lovin’, 43-year-old transvestite and part-time exotic dancer from the Castroville district of san Fransisco. He and Thomas met 3 years prior while he was vacationing with his family in Santa Cruz to attend a free Greg Khin concert on the beach and just happened to wander into Lucky Louie’s 24-Hour Lingerie Shop and All-Male Review. The part about Jackson Pollock and the one-night stand was all true; only the fact that she was female was the lie and is why Jade took the abuse from Thomas at all and why it reads so fake, the common reader surely knows that no woman would sit idly by and let a man trash her so completely without making reference to the small size of his penis or his bad breath or something. The answer is simply: Jade is a man.
That’s the word on the street, anyway… Sure places the conversation and Thomas’ comments into a whole new context.
Forgive my shift key. It shifts when it feels like it.
For those who wish to debunk my theory:
As far as how “puked on my couch” comes into play while on vacation in California, Thomas was “roughin’ it wit’ da homies” in his parent’s RV while they stayed at the Motel 6 that offered continental breakfast — ergo, his need to venture to the Waffle House before his art session.
Okay, I know I’m waaayyyy late on saying *anything* to this post, BUT, since I sat here and read ALL of these comments and (surprisingly) no one mentioned this, I felt it was finally time to cease lurking and wade into the muck. (Purely for educational purposes.)
To all the people giving ‘Tommy’ a virtual slap-down for not jumping on all that awesome freakishness that is/was “Jade’s” masochistic sexual request, you might want to think twice about that.
For all who don’t know, in the United States, sex play that involves any type of physical ‘assault’ on another human being (including choking & spanking) is actually ILLEGAL, regardless of the consent of the parties involved. It’s not something that they ‘go after’ you for, usually, but even in a case of full mutual consent for such an encounter, the possibility still exists that you can end up in hot water with the law. (Bonus Factoid: So drunk you’re puking on couches = too inebriated to consent to ANY sex, in the eyes of the law, kinky or not.)
Secondly, just say Tommy HAD taken her up on her offer (remember, at this point, he supposedly didn’t know she was a psycho) and choked her out while he was hitting that [Wham, >SQUEEZE<, Bam, Thank you, ma'am ]. What do you want to bet that tomorrow, the cops would have shown up at his door with an arrest warrant, because she'd filed assault and/or rape charges against him. There's no way he could prove she literally asked for it.
Whew. To summarize: Never, EVER, participate in kinky sexual practices with people you don't know. It could end very badly.
Smart move, Tommy-boy. Smart move.
****This has been a public service announcement. Now returning to your regularly scheduled program****
To Fake, #11: Yeah, this might be fake, but this could also be real. Do you have any idea how people understand the word ‘privacy’ these days? Some people spill and share *everything* on Facebook, including BJ’s and facials.