Banahm, I would berate you for wasting the first post with yet another “ben”, but it’s obvious your life is empty and you have nothing to live for other than your recent accomplishment of posting first in an entry on a moderately popular web site, and I wouldn’t want to be the one to make you realize that. I wouldn’t want to deal with the mixed emotions that would surely result if my abuse caused you to end it all as you finally realized that you’ll never get anywhere close to what you dreamed you’d become, that all you have left is your ability to refresh web pages and click a submit button at a speed slightly faster than the rest of us.
So, in lieu of abuse, I’ll simply say congratulations on accomplishing what must have taken literally seconds to do, and what thousands of people have done before. Bravo.
Sensible Madness – Hence the ” I never thought that would be so gratifying” … It was rather short lived.
I would have put an actual comment in lieu of putting “Ben” had the posts been more amusing…. But yeah I’m totally going to go slit my wrists in a dark corner now.
I find the crotch of your trousers or skirt splitting less embarrassing a prospect than the time I was in a club wearing a dress with just a strap in one shoulder and the strap broke off and the dress slid down and unfortunately because of the nature of the dress and for it to sit right the girls were freestanding. I have no idea how long I was in the club walking around and dancing before i realised they were out! oops!!!
mcowles, you’re on to my attention whoring ways but atleast you don’t have a sandy vagina about it. And I’ll only be joining the Captain Planet revolution if I’m equipped with one of those fancy rings.
wordpervert I found it embarrasing especially as my brothers mate was trying to chat me up and it was very unwanted attention. But no at least I have boobs that stay uplifted naturally or it would have been a lot more embarrasing!
Heh heh, oh wordy, I don’t know what part of the country you’re in, but if we’re near we should grab a beer. If not, well, it’s probably for the best. Too many of our type in one part of the country might cause it to flip over and sink, from the sheer weight of our sexy.
I’ve also done the accidental boob flash, but not as spectacularly as you, uoykcuf. Somewhere there is a pic of me from my mid 20′s dancing with an SF club owner, wearing a big, fun-loving smile, and a stretchy halter top from which my right teat had escaped.
Miss shegas it’s embarrassing isn’t it? Though I did work out that you get chatted up more. If I ever want to pull when I’m out and I’m not having any luck I could probably stage a pop out then it’s pretty much guaranteed!
I have never had to suffer and accidental flash of any kind, though they sound like a ton of fun. I have to say that most of these posts were exceptionally amusing short of the chick at work. Bravo Lamebook.
uoykcufLittle boobs have longevity, instead of length.
Enjoy your perky rack – as it sounds like many have! ;D
You make a good point about the attention factor (and the drink getting factor). My dad visited recently and asked me to fix him a drink; I haughtily informed him that as an attractive woman I have no need to know what ingredients are in various drinks, nor how much they cost. Then I shut my bitch mouth, and brought him a glass of wine instead.
wordy, sadly it seems we’re half a country apart, and will have to wait to activate our Wonder Twin boob/ass power. I’ll tip you off next time I have to fly through AUS though. We’ll drink up airport martinis and “accidentally” flash the travelers together!
lol… animal yes… jealous no… while i am a scorpio and have a fierce jealousy… someone has to be mine for that switch to click in my brain… as much as i <3 word, she has a whole harem of guys… like a horse in the stable i just wait my turn and enjoy the ride while its my turn to bounce her around
I hate Kayla. Why is it she has the apparent intelligence to (mostly) spell correctly but she has ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA where apostrophes go and she seems to just randomly flop a few of them in there!!!???? It must be lazinees and an lack of respect for everything! She angers me deeply.
Also, as I have said before, I don’t mind when people say “First!” They are just like the ambitious sperms who dared to be more. I really hate when people say “Ben.” They are pink sperms.
Walter – I agree. Know what else is annoying? slim, wordpervert, eenerbl, soup, and everyone else who comes here to talk ‘cutesy’ BS sexual innuendo to each other instead of commenting on the LB posts. For fuck’s sake, STOP. If you don’t have anything to say about the submissions, go hit each other on Skype, or sext each other, or whatever else you need to do for the rest of us to not have to be subjected to it. Thanks.
Agreed, I find some of the comments are often more amusing then the posts (thank you Sensible Madness), makes for fun times to have to wade through the annoying, irrelevant horn-dogging that’s going on. It’s right up there with the people who seem to get kick out of posting what number they are. Pathetic.
I know, when did the boss being online to tell the employee to get offline become hilarious? Way to lead by example. But “That’s ducked up” and “Your life is empty, delete it.”… more please. Maybe I am easily entertained.
LOL Monica, absolutely. I am not sure they are lonely though; I think they’re just young and relatively new to the concept of amusing oneself by shocking others (and perhaps a bit on the sexually starved side of things). And not to dog on them for their comments in general — in fact, all the individuals I named in 54 have at one time or another said things that were horridly funny and even borderline brilliant about THE SUBMISSION AT HAND, but it all seems to go downhill once they notice each other’s presence and next thing you know the whole proverbial ping-pong match has devolved into something reminiscent of low-budget fetish porn that was filmed in a bad part of Reno.
Disdain – Yeah, that “Ben” and “First” thing has gotta go. I mean, so okay, you happened to be online and paying attention when a new submission was put forth. So SAY SOMETHING MEANINGFUL, dammit. “Ben” reminds me of that stupid Michael Jackson song about a fucking rat. (P.S. Yeah, that last one with Morgan and Julie may as well have read… Morgan: Gee, I’d like to go home early today. Julie: Sure sweetie, you can as long as you do as I say and not as I do.)
Gee, throwing. Don’t like it? Don’t read it You know it’s going to happen no matter how much you tell them to STOP. Why should they stop? Reading everybodys posts are a whole lot more amusing than the LB posts these days anyway. (Kudos to you thoguh on throwing a small comment on the actual LB post by putting your little sentence in a bracket as to not show yourself as a contradicting bitch.)
I figure if it’s used many times in the wrong way, it might eventually stop for a while. Then it can come back when it’s funny again. Or when the real Ben comes back and brings his hypocritical anger issues with him.
I don’t get the point of status shuffle – if you wanna look witty or funny, just copy and paste something, then claim credit.
@ wordpervert, The whole point of forums is to be able to write a response then look later to see what follows, it’s the wonder of forums. It’s unfortunate when everyone isn’t online, but no one, not even you has all day to be here, and if they do there probably on a diff timezone. Throwingtofu seems well worded and intelligent, I doubt anyone was running from confrontation with you. You have to admit you guys are way funnier when slamming the posts then when you make those of us who don’t get our jollies watching amateur cyber sex, endure your often very long back and forth sexting. I don’t mind that you guys make them, whatever cranks your tractor, but as it is never funny to me, I mind that I have to read through them just so I don’t miss someone with an actual entertaining thought. I am quite sure that nothing anyone says will cause you all to quit, the novelty hasn’t worn off, and unfortunately new members are following right along in your footsteps.
Agreed with Disdain and throwingtofu. I usually enjoy reading the comments but most of the time find myself skimming past to avoid all the lame sexual innuendo and its usually the same bunch of people going on and on. Its ironic really, some of the stuff they talk about would probably end up as a lamebook submission if it was happening on facebook.
But if we had a Lamebook for Lamebook, I’m pretty certain the same people would carry the same comments over to the new place. It would result in a Mobius strip of internet sex. And I’m just not comfortable with the chance of me coming around the other side and trying to do myself in the butt.
Disdain, and by the way, that’s exactly what I feel for you.
If you look at the time stamp, I was literally here within in a few minutes of throwing’s comment, and I don’t believe for a second they didn’t see my comment.
I have been posting here for some months now, and in relation to the submissions, have used HUMOUR in almost all my responses.
I can also be cutting, and even serious. You obviously choose to ignore, or have not seen that.
Sexual innuendo can play a big part no doubt, but that’s how I roll, and anyone who knows me in life will tell you that.
Yes, I’ve become fond of some of the other commenters, and yes, sex talk comes into it, but more often than not, its genesis IS the lamebook posting.
Almost all of my original comments on postings relate to the post, and lets face it, many of the posts are sexual in nature. I have said this before, but I never get disgusting, I keep it light, and try to be funny.
There was a post a couple of days ago, NOT involving myself, that even I thought was out of line. Go read that one.
There are commenters on here I don’t like, and I don’t like how they approach things, but I essentially choose to ignore them. I accept we all go about things differently, and I would never tear someone apart if they were not here to defend themselves in real time.
By the way, I’m not lonely, sex starved, or young, as some of you have concluded.
This is the last time I will address this issue, and my detractors. I am who I am, and I intend to stay true to myself, and what comes, comes.
Heh, that first line kinda takes the anger out of the rest of the post it made me smile so hard. I don’t get where you get off with the selective reading but it’s pretty much a trait on here so far. I think we can all safely say that between three of us now it has been pointed out that all of you mentioned in the original post by Trowingtofu, have more often then not been witty as hell. I can honestly say that though I only started commenting recently I have been on the site for a while and actually thought of the group as a sorta powerhouse on Lamebook keeping assholes at bay. Unfortunately the situation has deteriorated to a ridiculous level where good, funny posters are being lost in the shuffle of something that we rolled our eyes at in the beginning, and now just can’t stand anymore. You guys should just stop with the sex crap, really there is no point to it, if it makes you feel good about yourself take it somewhere else cause it makes the rest of us ill, and slightly uncomfortable. It just drags the page down, no one other then those involved and those who want to get involved enjoy it and since we are doing exactly what the site is supposed to be here for we have more of a right to ask you to stop, then you have a right to get pissed at us for complaining. This site was made to make fun of lame posts and people. You can’t expect those of us that find what your doing lame to give you a free pass on past good behavior? I enjoy giving people a good kick in the ass too much. Wouldn’t have joined the site if I didn’t. But since you are no longer addressing the issue I guess this post shall be our last person to person communication. Shame cause like I said, before all this started I thought you pretty okay and you still have your moments, they are just being drowned out in… whatever that bullshit is.
On that note, though you may feel similar to wordpervert your comment had me laughing my ass off Soup. I think that is exactly what may happen.
wordpervert! You are so hilarious and also amazing. Seriously, I may love you. Your mind-bendingly rammed-up-your-own-arse comments have entertained me so much, I had to log in and congratulate you! i picture you sitting in your room, wearing a “Queen of the Internet” crown, and giving yourself highfives while you type out your responses (almost always made with HUMOUR).
“Disdain, and by the way, that’s exactly what I feel for you.” Good one! So… what’s the word I’m looking for? Oh yeah – you used it yourself – “cutting”. You’re so goddamn cutting. Ouch.
“If you look at the time stamp, I was literally here within in a few minutes of throwing’s comment, and I don’t believe for a second they didn’t see my comment.” I assume one of the following scenarios was the case:
a) They didn’t give a solitary shit
b) They don’t sit bleary-eyed at their computer in the dark refreshing the page.
“I can also be cutting, and even serious.” Your range is formidable.
“This is the last time I will address this issue, and my detractors.” Your DETRACTORS? Are you fucking KIDDING ME? Who do you think you are, Mussolini?
“You clearly don’t read enough of the posts I comment on to know better.” Quite right! This fool clearly hasn’t read enough of your acclaimed internet canon to know your subtleties, your moods, your piercing insights into the human condition. You are an icon, a teacher, a social barometer. This idiot knows nothing.
You will soldier on, unappreciated, exchanging playful yet meaningful comments with other pondlife about flashing your tits together. You will serve your true audience – the arsehole of the internet – by continuing to delight with your humorous asides and cutting commentaries. I salute you, wordpervert! A hero for our times.
Hey, I’m a long time lurker, first time poster. Registered just because I wanted to give my two cent(ime)s…..Wordpervert; I’ve OFTEN found some of your posts very witty BUT I felt compelled to tell you you’re kinda veering into crazy lady territory there…someone posts a little criticism which is not directed just at you and you blow a gasket accusing them of internet cowardice… (Like it’s real brave to argue on the internets right????) Then you say it’s the last time you’ll discuss it, then you continue to respond, praising your own posts….
In other news, I’m going to do a google search for where I can buy my boyfriend duck boxers in France
Let me show your descent into crazy-lady territory,
‘you clearly don’t read enough of the posts I comment on to know better.’
‘This is the last time I will address this issue, and my detractors.’ DETRACTORS??? are you serious? You were a giggle, but Oscar Wilde you aint, ma petite puce.
‘I can also be cutting, and even serious.’ This reminds me of ‘Zoolander’ in many ways.
‘If you look at the time stamp, I was literally here within in a few minutes of throwing’s comment, and I don’t believe for a second they didn’t see my comment.’ If not cowardice..what exactly ARE you trying to say?
You having fun there throwing?, having a crack when we’re not in the moment to defend ourselves?
‘I just happened to be passing through, so come on, what have you got to say to my virtual face?’ Please see above comment.
Like I say, you seem cool…you could be doing the whole cackling fruit basket for a giggle but sadly, I doubt you are. Just trying to be the klaxon of warning…
@ Nant, Duck boxers for your man, sounds dirty… and cause I have to say it, it also sounds ducking awesome.
@ wordpervert, Hey, just do what you first suggested and ignore it, obviously people have found your and others actions distasteful, but if you don’t care then continue and let those of us that are frustrated do our thing. It’s either accept that you are going to get sniped at for annoying things, or stop doing them. I think the rest of us that are bothered have silently waited for the phase to pass long enough.
@ Nantaise, I have actually spelled it wrong every time I type it, this good be good practice in proof reading for me if I have to keep going back to check on your name. I plan on using ducking at least once a day now, just to keep the lameness alive.
The beauty of an argument in flight,
It is such a wonderful thing.
A little bark, and a little bite,
And the search for the ultimate zing.
To behold that most glorious sight,
Of crazies heating up for the spring.
The beloved tradition of the cat fight,
Makes my cock hard.
Jesus… look at the shit storm I inadvertently created. My apologies for that.
First off, wordpervert – no I did not see your comment and then elect to retreat into a hidey hole. Quite frankly, I posted my comment and then went to bed. I am not on here to start cyber-wars with people I will never meet. And I actually do enjoy your comments when they pertain to the submissions; same goes for those from the rest of the people I mentioned. But virtual PDAs in a semi-public forum – whether in jest or not – truly does get old for those who aren’t part of it. Just sayin!
And disdain – I shouldn’t need to thank you for siding with me; this isn’t about taking sides and no one should be rewarded for standing up for what they feel is right. But thanks anyway.
Haha, I like how (as far as I’ve seen) not one single person has ever said anything about the goings on of the regulars here, but then *one* person makes a couple of comments, and there’s a line of people screaming, “Yah! Me two! Ur awl layme!”
“I am not on here to start cyber-wars with people I will never meet.”
Then, perhaps, you shouldn’t call specific people out/comment on their lives (or, as you seem to assume, lack of lives). You made incendiary comments, they started a fire and you’re surprised by this?
Hey word! Don’t worry, I love it when you guys get sexual on lamebook, I find it rather amusing:) So word, Soup, ee, slim, and the rest of you, I always enjoy your crazy sex adventures, keep ‘em coming!
“I’m the trouble starter, f*ckin’ instigator.
I’m the fear addicted, danger illustrator.
I’m a fire starter, terrific fire starter.
You’re the fire starter, twisted fire starter.
I’m a fire starter, terrific fire starter…..”
Wow. If one doesn’t stumble across a virtual orgy around here lately, then one walks into a virtual boxing match. If I come back later, I’m half convinced I’ll step into a conversation with someone trying to convince other’s that he/she is back from the dead and is in fact the long lost biological child of another two posters.
Actually I have the paper right here dare2claire, I am your long lost, thought to be dead, was actually cryogenic-ally frozen, father… but also your mother. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
I have to be done with this page now though, takes too long to come back here and look at all the interesting updates. (I know, I know I’ll miss the specialness of our time here too.) So unless the convo happens to start up again in a more recent post I shall have to bow out gracefully with a “Until next time, you haven’t heard the last of me!”
What happened to all the love, fraternity, peace and cynicism? Isn’t it just easier to say, “I hate humanity and feel bad for them after reading these posts”, or blast people who post Ben, First, Frodo, pool in unison? Or nitpick at people’s spellings/typos/gramm(err)ar?
(I still love malteaser, even after I found out that she was a lady and after she posted words that far exceeded “lol”. I think you all have something to learn from me)
Ah fuck it. Might as well wish for world peace instead.
My real name is Taylor, you might know me from the Bold and the Beautiful.
From my recollection, I’ve died and come back to life at least 3 times, and I’ve married and divorced Ridge aka Soup, on 4 occasions.
Both Ridge/Soup and I are botoxed to the hilt, but I’m sure most people already knew that. Our physical appearances belie our real ages.
Getting to my point in relation to your comment, on the 4th go round with Ridge/Soup, I found out he was in fact, my brother, and he also hit me with the news that our long lost love child was actually his mother, Stephanie/slimjayz.
I was a little shocked at first, but lets face it, Stephanie DOES look like a man.