Thursday, March 29, 2012

PhoNo!

previous post: A Catastrophe

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79 Comments

  1. The first picture is older than dirt. Second picture is the beginning of “you know you’re a redneck if…” joke. Third picture…. I hope that little twit falls off the sink and knocks some sense into herself.

  2. I remember when that first one came out around 8-10 years ago. The album was classic. I love the one where he’s crying and the other one of the ‘kiss the bride’ where he has his hand all over her ass. The one of the wedding party where some of them are smoking is classic too. But yeah, if this is the first time you’ve seen that pic then you must have been under a rock all these years.

  3. laugh.out.loud made me laugh out loud. I too hope she falls off the sink and breaks those pretty little heels. Climbing back up to take that second shot will be much easier.

    Honestly if any people seeing this post haven’t seen those wedding pics, please do go look. Great craic.

  4. I’ve been under a rock all these years/having a life. Dick.

  5. Those wedding pics have been floating around the email inter-tube for years yet some slow shit who hasn’t seen it yet will still forward it to me.

    It reminds of my cousin’s wedding to her 1st husband. It was also, coinky-dinkally, my wedding, too. Ma and Pa were right when they said it never works when you marry your 1st cousin so I divorced her and married another cousin. I guess wife #1 is now my 1st cousin once removed. Haw, haw, haw!

  6. ^True story.

  7. #4, Seeing forwarded emails 90% of the world has seen and having a life are not mutually exclusive but hey, way to try to make yourself feel better dude.

  8. slicingupeyeballs

    Oh, heels…

    I thought she had impaled herself upon something…

  9. if the earth was a musket ball it would be but a pin prick upon her massive organ that is skin

  10. I need some cake.

  11. I’d almost rather be reminded of the old stuff – because what made it funny then (and now) is that it was real. Now, people are so determined to get onto sites like this that they pose or mock up situations. That, I don’t like.

  12. ColostomyExplosion

    I too have seen that photo for many years but I still can’t not gag at her ‘sexy’ pose. I hope one of them was sterile.

  13. haha a redneck stoner

  14. That is a pretty big TV

  15. He’s wearing a hoodie. Someone should put a bullet in him.
    hah. i’m so topical.

  16. Don’t look now, but I think he’s got some Skittles!

  17. In picture #3, are those maternity pants?!

  18. I was thinking that too, #17

  19. And, if you were a kid 10 years ago… type ‘fat bride skinny groom’ on google, it shows all the pics- my favourite being the bride suffocating the groom with a kiss and while grabbing his arse.

  20. What were you all doing tucked away on the internet 10 years ago? It barely existed then annd if you were a kid, why weren’t you out playing with your friends? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  21. ^exhibit 453(a);
    here we observe the subject express a particularly unsophisticated process of thought whereby he appears to postulate that internet counter-culture sprung forth fully-formed.
    clearly he is too Gen-Y (read self-obsessed) to consider that other (older, wiser) individuals may have had valid experiences that exist outside of his personal (terribly stunted) sphere of influence.
    This subject has been slated for immediate immolation.

  22. I was a kid 10 years ago and playing outside etc…so #20 i fully concur…don’t wana know what kind of childhood this one above had…or on second thought, please indulge us. I am sure that must be one messed up story.

  23. sababebe, as usual your attention to…well…reality is excessively fucking dismal.
    But you know this, don’t you? You fully admit you hardly ever use the internet, except when you come here for regular doses of abuse. If this joint was IRL, I’m sure you’d lay down on the floor and ask everybody to piss up your nostrils.

  24. Okay Seriously?!? Why do you people feel the need to insult someone just because they haven’t seen a picture that’s been floating around for years? Truth be told…I’m 23 and 10 years ago I was in middle school and although at the time I was usually playing games or doing homework only when I was online…I was also out playing paintball,riding horses and out playing with friends as well as being on the computer.
    SO what I’m trying to say is what someone has seen or hasn’t seen is no reflection upon what they have or have not been doing…and just because they hadn’t seen this picture doesn’t mean they’ve been living under a rock it just means they hadn’t seen it! I hadn’t until just now either!!!

  25. Pic 1: That frightful specimen of a man has mistaken ‘true love’ for ‘someone willing to touch his penis.’

    MsAnne–do you really believe #20 to be Gen-Y? My guess is a bitter, old cunt whose only affection is for the Springer Spaniel willing to lick Nutella off his droopy ball sack.

  26. oh why must you tarnish nutella :(

  27. @25 … if he had affection for a dog, he wouldn’t feed it nutella since it’s bad for doggies. Peanut butter… always peanut butter.

  28. ^nah. raw liver.

  29. I want to wear your skin as a coat.

  30. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Not sure what’s wrong with being a 20+ year old as It’s definitely preferable to being a 30+ year old. You just got your granny panties in a twist ‘cos you know full well I’m younger than you. Young, dumb and full of cum comes to mind for me, I’ve got time to learn the stuff I don’t already know. Where as you, I imagine, are dried, snide and really really wide.

    Dakpainter you couldn’t be more wrong :)

    AND my original fucking point still stands, internet was barely around then and anyone who is mid 20′s now who spent that much time online when they were 12,13,14,15 is a real sad case.

  31. ^ What I think is funny is just because you were not using the internet it must have been “barely” around. The internet sure as shit was around in force back then.

    Dumb? Yep, you’ll get no argument from me on that one.

  32. As well, you are correct, Crustyclownlips. You do have to learn stuff you don’t know yet, which is why your statement about being 20 is preferable to being 30. How would you know?
    20 year olds do things like standing on a fracking public washroom sink and take pictures of themselves wearing ugly shirts. They do believe me! I saw it on the internet before you were even allowed to walk across the street alone!

  33. fuck me, you guys are a bunch of morons.

    Re: #19: if you were a kid 10 years ago you wouldn’t have seen the post, therefore I gave intructions on how to view it. It was to counter the comments before that implying most commenters had seen it.

    I was a kid too, didn’t see it a decade ago, idiots!

  34. So I must have been the ONLY one who noticed that the chick posing on the sink is also wearing maternity pants…?

  35. Clownlips? I apologise as this must be my youth showing through, but in what way could you have ever thought that was in any way whatsoever funny? Or clever…seeing how you oldies are claiming to be so intelligent.

    How would I know? EVERY FUCKING 30 YEAR OLD COMPLAINS ABOUT BEING 30. They are either married and settled down wishing they were 21 again, holding their sagging nips up in front of the mirror in the vain attempt that they will defy gravity, reminiscing about days gone by whilst peering through her lace curtains at the leggy carefree 18 year old as she passes by. Or they’re single, acting like they’re 21 (but actually making a fucking fool of themselves) and wishing they were in a stable relationship. They even make films about it. It’s a pandemic a tell thee.

    And wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age, MsAnne.

  36. Every fucking time MsAnne! I think to myself I’ll be polite, be the better person and put my 2 cents in when I feel like it, but every fucking time I get reeled in. This shit needs a “delete comment” button – drama is hard work.

  37. Crusty, I’m over 30. But I won’t hold it against you, or anyone for that matter. Age is moot on the internet. But the internet was definitely around 10 years ago. Hell, Napster was a major craze back then. Flight 405 was a big viral thing, and it’s over 10 years old. I even remember when Al Gore invented the internet back in 1992. Yeah, the internet was definitely a powerhouse 10 years ago.

  38. It was probably between purchasing a computer or paying for the heat in his trailer home for the winter.

  39. Well Beatus, I just don’t wanna argue with you. I accept I was wrong.

  40. Crusty; Seriously, you come across like the old fuck who keeps stuff that lands in his garden. AND, anyone who has anything going on, will tell you being in your 30′s is far better than being in your 20′s. Have a nice weekend.

  41. If what you say is true then I have that to look forward to, I thank you. You have middleaged-ness to look forward to. Enjoy that :)

  42. And as my last entry for this weekend, I can tell you right now that being over 50 is a hell of a lot better than being 30 PLUS 20.
    Already have the good toys, ain’t gonna get pregnant, already know who the hell I am and happy about it, and every stinking 120 pounds of me is as healthy as it’s every been. It’s an inside joke you younguns. Go ahead and think we all want to be that age again LOL

  43. I doubt you’ll live to see your 30s crustoclownlips. someone is sure to run you down in their car well before then.
    but…welll…young, dumb and full of cum <-crusty swallows!

  44. Well it’s rude to spit

  45. MsAnne and Mr.Painterguy, you should get together… You have the same taste for insulting people for no good reason!! You are trying so hard to sound smart, superior and funny, meanwhile you come across as judgemental and far… far from funny… You are most likely lonely people hiding your deformed bodies, sexual incompetence and lame personalities behind your computer screen. You deserve each other! MsAnne, if you want to know who is your fervent admirer, very easy, just google his username!! Not only you will find out his real name, what he looks like (like a crazy old creep if you ask me, but that may be your cup of tea after all, the albert einstein kind of look), his email address if you want to send him love notes (and physical address if you want to pay him a visit), and what he does for a living (oh!!! so surprising considering the content of his posts) but also what are his sexual preferences!!!!(lame btw) Oh…sorry to burst your bubble…but according to his internet bio, he’s already married!! Poor wife… At least MsAnne is the smarter of the two as she’s not leaving an internet trail behind her and keeps her anonimity!

  46. ^ Sounds like you’re the one with the crush. Very helpful, you are.

  47. sooo many exclamation marks. little ticklebone was obviously pretty keyed-up about something. Not that I ever read criticism – just so you know, tickles – so I have no idea what got this particular dander up.
    I gather I’ve been horrid again?

  48. of course #46… you guessed it! I have a huge crush on MsAnne! What man would not dream of a foulmouth woman like her? Nah… she’s all yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    (enough exclamation marks to satisfy you little miss Annie? or do I need to put more for you to wanna ride my little bone? Size does not matter after all, right? Isn’t it what all of you ladies say?)

  49. yeah, she seems a little edgy. sorry girlie, i don’t fuck spastics.

  50. Girlie? Just because I am well spoken, does not make me a woman. There are still gentlemen out there who do not feel the need to drop the F-bomb in every sentence. And don’t fool yourself, my offer of riding my bone was purely sarcastic. I am selective when choosing my ladies, and the key word is “ladies”.

  51. fuck off, bitch.

  52. No one likes you MsAnne.

  53. Indeed #52, nobody does like her. In addition to be foulmouth, she’s not too bright. I am a happily married man as you can tell from the picture. And my wife may not match the exterior beauty standards, but she’s a beautiful person inside and out, and more of a lady than you will ever manage to be little Annie.

  54. I love how this turns into an all-out character-assassination, I really do! Msanne makes a couple of mean comments and suddenly he/she/it is the fucking anti-christ. Unless you guys are seriously tongue-in-cheek and i’m just too stupid to pick up on it, it seems like you should…maybe…um…calm down a bit? Or alternatively…don’t, and keep feeding me fodder for giggles. Also, Ticklebone, why would you google someone from this site to get these little tidbits of info? Creepy, much?

  55. character assassination my arse. it’s only whining and beating of breasts.
    kinda hilarious that little crusty thinks he’s even allowed to have an opinion – or that anyone gives a shit about it.
    and fuck, tickles, your bitch fell outta the ugly tree and smacked her face on every damn branch on the way down. no wonder you two are dykes – neither of you could attract a man, huh?

  56. No one likes you. Perhaps explains why you drink so much.

  57. sure crusty.
    That’s must be it.

  58. That comment above about someone being like the old guy who keeps stuff that falls into his back garden is still making me laugh now.

    not enough to look up who it was though.

    But still, kudos.

    Whoever said they’re a gentleman who doesn’t drop the ‘f bomb’ into conversation needs to expand their vocabulary to include non-boring words. Also, press the fucking enter key every now and then, I don’t wanna read your mind dump in 1 big paragraph!

  59. ^no one gives a shit what you want, did you think yourself to be somehow special? now that’s a tragicomedy fucking goldmine.

  60. Just to prove you wrong, I give a shit what he wants. Your comment is null and void – try again.

  61. balls. you don’t count.
    my comment totally stands.

  62. Ey fuck you. I count.

  63. only to your mummy. but she’s busy taking 3 cocks to help you here.

  64. *too busy.
    she’s too busy taking three cocks to help you.

  65. I get it. You were sad that I said you are emotionally damaged.

    And your way to prove that you’re emotionally healthy and not bothered by what I say is to go through other posts and ‘get back at me’ for making fun of you.

    I think you genuinely were hurt by what I said. I’m sorry for hurting your twisted, borderline inhuman feelings!

  66. you live in a fucking fantasy world pal.
    not the fun kind, but the sad kind lacking in imagination.

  67. I’m sure she could take fifteen dicks so long as they were as small as yours :) Never have understood the “mum” jokes :S

  68. you guys should just have nasty filthy hate-sex and be done with it, i reckon

  69. ^ Wont work. They’ll never be done.

  70. Goddammit! *Won’t.

  71. Really? Ya thanks beccante , we worked around your typo.

  72. crusto isn’t nearly lathered-up enough yet. I like ‘em crying.

  73. MsAnneThrope, you called me pal.

    Does that mean you’re my girlfriend now?

    Where do you want to go out?

  74. ^not only do I not fuck spastics, I don’t even date ‘em. sorry if you were misled, but you should probably pay more attention to imperceptible social signals.

  75. I’d pay attention to your imperceptible social signal…

    alllllll night…

    (I mean sex)

  76. ^that looks like consent to me.

    so when you find yourself with no memory, dumped naked in an alleyway in the cold light of dawn, walking bow-legged and covered in candlewax, bodily secretions, and animal bites; you will have only yourself to blame, muppet.

  77. Christ, you’re going to have to give warnings before typing hot stuff like that, I’m at work..

  78. it’s a date -.-

  79. Well Oh My Fuck. There was me being all ok with recently turning the age that shall not be named. #35 thanks for making me cry.

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