Thursday, May 7, 2009

Tee Hee For Tee-Tee

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Bethany’s epic status-based retelling of her daughter’s first proper visit to the Necessary Room brings to bear an epidemic peeve on Facebook: account holders that post pictures of their offspring in their profile image as opposed to pictures of themselves.  Some might contend that it’s no big deal: the Information Age equivalent of the proud office display of wallet 2×3s.  Problem is, these misguided showoffs make sure that these images are permanently changed out with fresh ones in infinite sequence, making sure everyone knows what unimpressive rite of passage their brats have performed (like not crapping themselves), reinforced by the asinine comments of account holders with their own over-coddled broods, encouraging their fellow self-absorbed freaks to maintain this endless cycle. One that plays out itself out tens of millions of times every day in the blue halls of FB, taking up valuable bandwidth that would otherwise be dedicated to the exchange of more enriching information such as cute new flip-flops that don’t fit and how drunk that one girl got last night bro.  Cryin’ shame, really.
♥ The Editors



Look Who’s Talking

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Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Missying Out on a Proper Education

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Gurl U R CrZy Lame

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Baby Sits-A-Lot

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Hey Chels,

Just semi-curious why you’re using the internet to tell your boyfriend how much you love him when he’s sitting next to you on the couch. Unless ‘BLAH’ means he is unconscious or in cardiac arrest, in which case Chels, you need to send the paramedics a text requesting immediate medical attention.

This transcript makes more sense if we assume it’s recipient isn’t your boyfriend at all but rather some sort of domesticated animal. A ferret perhaps. They can be ‘blah’. Drink water and beg for a turn on the computer. I’ll bet it’s funny to watch him type. I imagine he uses his nose to press each key and then quickly looks up at the screen to make sure he hit the correct one. That’s just how I picture it but you may have raised him differently than that Chels, I just don’t know.

♥ The Editors

Hairy Situation

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