Thursday, August 20, 2009

Oy Vey

OyVey

previous post: Cocky Tattoos

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125 Comments

  1. ihatestupidpeople

    Traditionally Jews aren’t allowed to have tattoos, as we are told we shouldn’t mutilate our bodies. This is to enable us to be buried in a clean, pure and natural state, just as we were born pure. I don’t think that today tattoos would prevent one from being buried in a Jewish cemetery though – what about all of the Holocaust survivors with ID numbers tattooed on their arm?

  2. I’m not blaming you for anything, #101, but isn’t what you said about Jews not being allowed to mutilate their bodies kinda making not any sense at all? I mean, what’s circumcision then? I’m just wondering if it’s true what you said. I knew the tattoo thing though.

  3. Wait, what does this have to do with Johnny Depp?

  4. Just to clear up some confusion, the reason Jewish people perform circumcisions is not because they think it is unnatural or shouldn’t be there, and in fact the rule did not even come from God. It is distinctly explained in the Torah that the ancient Israelite tribes used it for the purposes of identifying that a man is Jewish and not some other religion. Of course, nowadays, it’s not necessarily mandatory, there are uncut Jews and cut Gentiles. The only real rule for being a Jew is having a Jewish mother. Some people still like to follow traditions, though. Personally, I’m not getting my possible future sons circumcised, but then again I am not an Orthodox Jew.

  5. Oh, and the reason they used circumcision as an identifier of Jewish men and not some other form is so that Jewish women could tell if the man they were about to have sex and possibly produce children with was Jewish so that they would not have mixed faith children. Why this matters since the faith is matrilineal I do not know, but it used to matter more back then if one married outside their faith than it does now, to the point where some parents would sit shiva (7 day mourning period for deceased family members) for the child that married a Gentile and treated them as if they were dead and only a memory.

  6. I’m American and my boyfriend isn’t circumcised. At first I was like “wtf is that??” and then I realized it feels the same to me.

    For those saying its “unsanitary”, everything is unsanitary when you don’t have good hygiene.

    This is a silly argument..

  7. Has it occurred to anyone else that when speaking of lubrication, Andrew is not even talking about sex here? Last I checked, that came from the girl. He mentions hand lotion…I’m fairly certain he’s talking about wanking his wanker. He has the extra skin, so it’s easier for him. Not exactly the same as “lube”, but ok. Neato. Thanks for sharing, Andrew!

  8. I just imagine Lois from Family Guy listening to Andrew and laughing saying ….”What?”……all the while laughing to herself

  9. TMI……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………THE END

  10. … It would be penises or penii. That is all.

  11. Getting it cut, like myself, is actually better. 1, Sensitivity is ADDED. Not taken away. 2, Girls are more turned on by it. Which brings me to 3, the only reason girls are turned off by uncircumcised dicks is because 1, the tip is wet. 2, it looks like an alien with all the loose skin. And 3, it smells like shit. Also, when we pee, we don’t have to pull back any skin. And some people actually just leave it on while they pee. Which is why their dick smells. Therefore, circumcision was the idea of a madman when it came around, but it was a good idea.

    Also, the cutting the clit thing? Not the same. Again, sensitivity is ADDED. Not taken away. The clit is the only pleasure spot besides the g-spot.

  12. Soooo you smell a lot of uncircumcised dicks “superubercool”?

    Sensitivity is not added, it is taken away. There are highly sensitive nerve endings in the foreskin that you lose by getting it chopped off. So yeah, no idea where you came up with that preposterous claim.

    Also, hygene is not an issue so long as you know how to shower like a normal human being.

    “the tip is wet”? What the fuck are you talking about? lol

    The only time I could imagine having a circumcised wiener feel MORE sensitive is after having the surgery done. A mutilated cock is an unhappy cock.

  13. Lmao. Andrew thinks foreskin lubricates. Poor thing.

  14. This is genuinely sickening.

    Whether you are for or against circumcision it is, these days, primarily done for hygiene reasons.

    Female “circumcision” is in fact mutilation of the genitals so that it is physically impossible for her to become sexually stimulated and is a sick ideal that is only common in Muslim countries. It serves no benefit whatsoever.

  15. actually, tht’s not how it is. female circumcision is not removal of d entire clit bt only a bit of it. my stepsister was jz circumcized the other day, it wasn’t cut off. the doc jz poked a needle and picked out a tiny bit. of course it was anaesthized first. only a few rural places in certain strict countries do they remove the whole clit, but not all countries do this. as a matter of fact, cutting off the whole clit is actually forbidden in Islam as this would harm the woman. the circumcision isn’t even mandatory, only encouraged. if you were to google “benefits of circumcision” you would find many studies done by non-muslim specialists.

  16. oh..when i said not mandatory i meant for women. for men it’s mandatory..hygiene reasons. reduces risk of infections and bacteria buildup and all that.

  17. Only been with one uncut man…it looked a little weird, but felt amazzzzzzing!

  18. so does anybody else wanna know the real reason why he can’t be buried with the Jews??

  19. @J: just because it’s called “mutilation” instead of “circumcision” does not mean circumcision is a more enjoyable process.

  20. pearls-before-swine

    There are two things I’m very surprised nobody has yet mentioned.

    #1: I love all the people saying ‘OMG REMOVING FORESKIN CAUSES LESS STIMULATION AND SENSITIVITY FOR THE MAN’. … Do men really NEED any more stimulation or sensitivity in that area of the body?

    #2: In addition to health concerns (and btw, people ignorantly yelling about how foreskins do not cause health issues, please Google phimosis, paraphimosis, and balanitis), does no one stop to consider mental/self-esteem issues when it comes to circumcision? Yes, I know, I know – it’s a savage, barbaric practice which is (apparently, according to some of the responses here) so stereotypically omgheinousamerican – but when you’re showering after gym and you’re the only little boy with a wang that looks like a shriveled up sausage stuffed inside of pantyhose, some damage has got to be done.

    Normally I would want to add my own snarky, sarcastic remark into these hilarious posts, but as a professional within the healthcare industry these are legitimate concerns and thoughts that were addressed during several of our clinical discussions in college.

    Really there is no right or wrong answer, it’s a totally personal decision. I personally feel that the health concerns I posted are worth considering, as well as the fact that you cannot rely on your sons as being cleanly, self-respecting individuals when they get old enough to care for themselves. A little snip and a week of soreness is certainly bearable to surpass any such issues in the future.

    Also, nobody else mentioned that there is now a topical anesthetic that they place on the babies before circumcision. Being topical only, it obviously doesn’t take away all of the pain but it certainly lessens it to a certain degree.

  21. A little snip and a week of soreness?

    As I recall, I didn’t walk for a year!

    Still, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  22. Female circumcision and male is DIFFERENT you moron! Female get their clit CUT OFF!! For guys, it’s the FORESKIN, the skin that covers the head of the dick, NOT THE HEAD OF THE DICK ITSELF, you dickhead!!
    Anyway, I prefer guys who were circumcised. So long sucker

  23. I know this is very old now but I have to say that you women out there who have not experienced the uncut cock do NOT know what you are missing! It’s like having two penises in one. I refer to my boyfriend’s as the convertible cock–covered, uncovered, yummm. Oral sex takes on a whole new incredible dimension with an uncut penis. Try it. You’ll like it. Trust me. *slurp*

  24. personally i find nothing wrong with cut or uncut penises, they’re all dicks and a true whore should know better than to turn down a trick for that. but let me tell you this, each type of dick comes with a different instructions manual.

    when Andrew here talks about not using lubrication it’s not because his foreskin produces some extra slippery cheese to wank his dick off that’s disgusting and ignorant and probably the joke is on you.

    Uncut Men simply do not need lubrication for the same reason the cut ones do. As simple as that.

    cut men use lubrication cause if they don’t they’ll start to experience a little roughness after sometime of constantly beating to their hand which hand is clearly imitating the purpose motion and the hydraulics of what an uncut penis was designed to work like. With uncut men lubrication is an optional luxury on whether you want to have a nice tingle or not.

    watch an American porn movie and then an European you’ll be blind not to distinguishly tell after how differently the men use their cock for fun times.

    cut men will hold their dick with one hand on the base and then the lubricated palm of the other hand will grasp around the penis and imitate a upward/downwards motion kind of like fucking your own wet palm.

    Uncut men on the other hand have the foreskin to replace than hand motion. Lubrication is again optional(in Europe lubrication is only meant to wet a dry-er vagina) and there’s actually a lot of ways you can beat an uncut dick cause if you ask me it’s kind of like you have a tight vagina or an anus ring permanently wrapped around your dick. You can just grab the foreskin with 3 fingers and jerk off your your cock, you can take the foreskin all the way down and jerk off with lube American style fucking your palm, you can tighten your foreskin all the way up and give it a good fucking like you would to a nice tight ass.

    anyway, I’m not going to judge whick is better or not,
    but I find women who find an uncut dick disgusting only from it’s looks to be very ignorant. it’s like a guy saying that a vagina has too many flaps and wigs and he’d have you cut everything a smooth flapless ring-looking pussy(again not talking about the clitoris but the “excess” skin left and right)
    that wouldn’t be painless and it surely wouldn’t be very humanly so be a little less judgmental next time and take as much dick as you can get.

  25. also if you’d try to use the same tricks you’d play with a mate’s cut dick to an uncut one you would probably end up making them feel rather uncomfortable. so it would take a whole new schooling to get the hand of it, it’s like learning to ride the bike all over again..

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