Thursday, October 1, 2009




Lamester Review:

When I was in high school we didn’t have social networking sites like Facebook.  And every day I thank God for that because if I had had access to everyone’s personal shit and a public profile of my own while those hormones were surging through my body, it wouldn’t have been pretty.  So no, I wasn’t on Facebook in high school, but I WAS aware enough to know what was considered “cool” and “not cool.”  Here are a few examples.

Getting caught spray painting your girlfriend’s name on the side of the school:  Cool.  Getting caught with a backpack full of inhalers and acne cream:  Not Cool.

Rigging your locker to immediately open when you smash your fist into it like the Fonz:  Cool.  Accidentally shitting your pants while holding your head back to dump the remaining Cheetos crumbs out of the bag and into your mouth:  Not Cool.

Letting a girl sit shotgun during one of your drag races and having a sign at the finish line that asks the girl to homecoming:  Cool.  Arranging digital crops (wtf?) from some lame-ass online video game and taking a screen shot of it to ask a girl to homecoming:  Not cool.

previous post: Spelling Beet



  1. this is cute, not lame!

  2. its genius! haha

  3. Miss Regina Phalange

    Lamebooks lame for posting this in the first place not Brett. What happened to you lamebook? you used to be cool!! ;)

  4. What exactly is it?

  5. @buh

    I don’t get it either. Is he asking someone to go to a dance with him by arranging some stuff in a Facebook game?

  6. 1,2,3

    must be highschool kids or parents with kids in highschool, this is fucking lame.

  7. @ Boz

    It’s a screencap of FarmVille. He arranged his crops to look like the words so that he could ask this Maria chick to the Homecoming dance.

    It’s kinda cute.

  8. cute! go with him, maria!

  9. Cute, but I rue the day when daily human contact will be thru farmville.

  10. @SM

    Oh, Farmville! I get it now, thanks. I play Pet Society, so I think if I fired up Farmville also, I’d have no time to comment on Lamebook!

  11. I think this is adorable. I hope Maria says yes!

  12. 10 years from now:

    Brett’s Friend: “Remember when you asked that bitch to homecoming on Farmville?”

    Brett: Yeah

    Brett’s Friend: “That was gay.”

  13. I heard this farm used to harvest beets in the past.

  14. Farmville ftw :)

  15. Hahaha Milton, so true.

  16. By the fuck! That is so sweet!!!

    I got hooked into Farmville by a friend who wanted a neighbour badly and I can tell you that this guy lost out big time on coins and attaining levels by doing this. Maria had better go with him AND give him a blow job afterwards for that.

  17. I would say no to any boy who did this.

  18. Lame, sad idea by Brett, stellar sarcastic response by Adam.

    And this probably isn’t good but I keep seeing a small, yellow penis on the top left of Farmville. O_O … goddammit

  19. @jax:

    “by the fuck!” will never, NEVER get old for me. haha I fucking love that.

  20. If you think this is cool you are officially gay….

    Maria’s Mom: “So how did Brett ask you honey”

    Maria: “Well I got on Facebook and went on his Farmville and he spelled it out with haybales. It was the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen…”


  21. well he spent quite a pretty penny on all those hay bales. and cleared out his entire farm
    bitch better give it up!

  22. This was a dud.

  23. @Foolishwolf

    My sentiments exactly.

  24. I don’t get it.

    What’s good/bad about it?

  25. Man I can’t believe some of you think that this is cute. It may be the gayest thing I have ever seen.

  26. @19 & 23

    We did say we would treasure it for ever and so we will!!!!
    It’s a lamebook classico!

  27. I hope that Maria arranged hay bales on her Farmville to say “NO”

  28. hahaha I am willing and happy to admit that if this is lame than so am I. My husband proposed to me by creating a level in a video game asking if I would marry him. I thought it was cute too.

    To those who think it is “gay”, I’m willing to bet that you’re alone or possibly with a girl/woman who secretly wishes you didn’t think you were too cool to do something sweet for them.

  29. Awwww! Cute!

  30. And that’s when Brett realized that Maria doesn’t come on Farmville and has humiliated himself for nothing.

  31. @ CM, there is a difference between someone doing something sweet for someone else in person and on facebook… come on now people. Obviously its on Lamebook thus, lame.

  32. Good idea. Lame output.

  33. Is it just me, or have other people been saying “by the fuck” in their everyday life?

  34. He only has 272 coins left, hope it was worth it.

  35. why do you guys think this is cute? By cute if you mean the guy can’t ask the girl out to homecoming in person and does it over FARMVILLE, let alone on facebook is kinda sad…then yeah, it’s cute.

  36. Oh, that’s brilliant. If I were Maria, I would totally go. Just because. xD

  37. Is Maria a cow? Why else would she want all that hay?

  38. The lamest part about this is that it’s his profile picture. It’s like he didn’t expect her to see it in Farmville, so he’s asking her out via a profile picture.

  39. @18 those are coins misfortunatly aranged to look like a penis

    @30 he took a photo of it and put it on his profile. there’s a camera option in farmville which allows you to do that so gay people can put photos of their farms on facebook because when i log onto facebook, what i really want to see is photos of my friend’s lame farms in farmville. however, i would love to think that this wasn’t an option and he wasted all him money for nothing. sorry for ruining that for you all.

  40. If she says no, I wonder what he’ll make on Farmville next.

  41. Some of you think this is romantic, but really he just wants to plough her and plant his seed.

  42. Lamester FTW.

  43. Hey guys i really disrespect this being posted in this site. I thought it was a very cute idea, and I am lucky to have a guy like Brett.

  44. @ Maria

    Then talk to Brett. He might be a geat guy, but one of his friends thought it would be hilarious to send this in. And that friend was right. But props to you for making it EVEN FUNNIER by dropping by for a visit. Seriously though, have fun at homecoming and say to Brett for me.

  45. *say “Hi” to Brett for me

  46. So how do you think he will one up himself next year?

  47. Maybe he’ll send her a diamond ring in mafia wars to propose.

  48. What does FTW mean

  49. Come on… this is so not lame. I don’t get the point of making fun of someone for enjoying a game with someone they like (“lame” or not) and then using it as a way to ask them out.

  50. I thought it was sweet and clever, not lame.

    The lamebook review is lame.

  51. @Who dis:

    1.FTW = For The Win
    2.FTW? = Fuck the What?

    In the cases above it would be #1. Hope that clears it up for you.

  52. @ Jax

    Actually, you get 5 XP for every hay bale you buy, so he probably levelled up a couple of times by doing this.

    I wish I didn’t know that off the top of my head.

  53. Ok honestly fuck whoever sent this in. This was meant for Maria, and for my close friends and family too see it too. She is my gf and we were already planning on going and I thought this would be cute because its her favorite game to play. Not for some stupid fucking website where loser ass dipshits like you guys look at peoples stuff and try to make them look dumb, in return, making you look cooler.(Which you dont) you guys are lame for looking at this shit. Oh yea FYI, i changed my profile picture and she did say yes. FUCK ALL OF YOU HATERS and i bet you guys were too scared to even ask a girl to homecoming so you sit on your computers all day. I want my shit off this stupid website.

  54. Brett FTW!

    By the way, will someone tell me WTF “homecoming” is anyway? I’m guessing it’s a merkin thing, but other than that I have no fucking idea.

  55. @Brett

    Actually I *was* scared to ask the girl I liked to homecoming. Your well-worded and timely message has forced me to re-evaluate my life. You see, Brett, I’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places, cackling with glee at the minor offences of others, and willingly referring people to sites where more minor offences can be laughed at.

    But who am I? Have I never made a mistake? Of course I have! But here I am, behind my computer screen, typing long, sarcastic and mocking replies to your heartfelt, nay, positively cute efforts to win your fair lady, when the only girls I know end in .jpg.

    Well, I have to tell you, this has been a real eye-opener for me. From now on, it’s only going to be nice, heart-warming replies from me, and if some poster goes too far with the mean sentiments, you can bet your dollars to doughnuts that I will call him on it!


  56. lmfao @ Boz

  57. @Brett
    Welcome to Lamebook. By and large you’ve gotten off incredibly lightly so far, the general consensus here seems to be swinging mostly in favour of your cutesy invitation to Maria.

    Unfortunately, you’ve now shot yourself in the foot by turning up and displaying the other side of your ‘personality’ – oops, it’s all downhill from here friend.

    Do ask Adam to come and join us too – he’s obviously a little jealous of Maria right now, but we just know he’ll make lamebook gold defending his crush. Could it be him, in a moment of unguarded pique, that posted this here in the first place?
    All of us loser ass dipshits are just dying to find out . . .

    And in no particular order: Thanks for the big lulz to: Bucky Fellini, anti-boz and bingo.

  58. Brett is a fucking TOOL

  59. L-O-L @ this idea, everyone who thinks it’s cute or even slightly not lame, Brett’s post, and Boz’s amazing response.

    I love Lamebook.

  60. This isn’t some fucking stupid game show or reality show where i should have to swing your votes. Im just saying, This was meant for Maria, it was somehow uploaded on here and is an invasion of privacy. You guys are lucky i don’t have a low self esteem cut my wrists over this. Foolishwolf is a fucking TOOL! You guys honestly sit here and try to one-up me on my picture that got posted and the comments on it? wowww. you guys are the lame ones. I can only hope that one of you guys try to commit an creative unselfish act and it ends up on here.

  61. lol I knew, KNEW calling Brett a tool would elicit the same response out of him! Worked like a charm.

    And Brett you have bigger problems at hand, like figuring out which one of your friends or “Facebook friends” (enormous difference between the two) uploaded this screenshot on Lamebook.

    But hey, good luck in your future ventures. When you propose to Maria, please use more bales of hay.

    Also, ROFL @ Boz

  62. Invasion of privacy? And you’re posting this as your profile pic on facebook? Get a clue. You have no privacy on the internet.

    Asking someone to prom/homecoming/etc. in real life = guts.
    Doing it over the net, AND via an indirect picture = very impersonal, and lame.

    It’s like making fun of WOW nerds for marrying in the game. Sure, whatever floats their boat, but it’s still pretty weird.

  63. The more and more I come on this site, the more and more I hate it. Leave Brett the fuck alone, you all are assholes.

  64. lol

  65. I just want everyone to know that homecoming last night was amazing! Actually, we didn’t even go to homecoming. I showed up to Brett’s house and he had set up the computer in his living room and we played Farmville all night. There was a ho-down at Farmer Frans, and somebody spiked the punch with good ol’ fashion moonshine. At midnight, things got a little frisky in the horse barn (aka brett stink fingered me in front of his computer).

    It was a night to remember.

  66. Wow “Maria”, that sure was creative! Or actually let me take that back, it was the dumbest thing I have read all day.

    Do you guys honestly have nothing better to do than sit online and make fun of people all day long? Get a fucking life. Sure people may look “lame” online, but at least they are fucking living their lives, which is more than any of you can say,

  67. ugh = maria

  68. @ugh, or should I say, Brett. Shut up. The POINT of this site is to make fun of lame (and funny) acts on facebook. If you think mocking people is mean, then you’re not on the right site.

    Maybe you should go to and read the stupid self-promoting bullshit that they post and the comments of “hehe, my dad does that too.” and “wow, my mom would NEVER play mafia wars, this site rocks!”

    BTW, If Brett was already dating Maria, before doing this, then it’s less lame. Still lame, just less.

  69. “at least they are fucking living their lives, which is more than any of you can say.”

    So we’re posting comments about facebook posts.

    They’re posting statuses ON facebook.

    So we’re each spending time online posting something, somewhere. I don’t see how this proves that we don’t have lives but Mr. 2 hour-Farmville Dance guy is “fucking living his life”

  70. Farmville should be banned. I get bombarded with news about that stupid app

  71. I freakin love this site. Just when you think it can’t get any better, you have the actual subjects come along and make utter tits of themselves…

  72. Update:
    She said yes everybody!!!
    Thanks for making me famous, stop by the farm anytime!


  73. Guys, I’m not Maria. Get it through your thick skulls. But seriously, can you guys stop!?

  74. gh = maria’s mom

  75. ugh*

  76. and that wasnt the real me right there^ or maria either. This pic was intended to stay on facebook, not some site where people with issues go to, to try and make their own lives better. Me and Maria were already planning on going i just thought it would be cute to do this..FUCK YOU GUYSSSSSS

  77. i see another “jason’s monster fail” coming up soon….

    i love the comments/fights more than the actual post.
    thanks guys!

  78. I’m pregnant.

  79. This would only be funny if the dude’s name were Tony. Lamebook fails.

  80. @Maria, (I’ll just pretend it’s the real Maria)

    Did you take a facebook quiz to determine that you’re pregnant? You should figure out a fun/exciting way to tell Brett that he’s about to be a father. If only there was a fun, hay bail filled way to relay important messages, hmmmm.

  81. Brett man relax. Before you came on here and freaked out people were taking your side, now your trying to insult everyone and it makes you look like a jackass AND lame. If you were such a bad ass you wouldn’t care what anyone thinks so it sounds like you might be the one with the issues.

  82. Oh yeah also for the people that say we are not living our lives…. it does take like, IDK 5 seconds to process how gay that picture is, then maybe another idk call it…..45 seconds to read some comments, then maybe another couple seconds to write out a comment, so yeah. The 3-5 minutes it took me to look at Lamebook means that I have no life. I didn’t realize that “normal” people like “ugh” were so busy in their “real lives” that they don’t fuck around on the internet. Furthermore they prove how apparently “lifeless” I am by doing THE EXACT SAME THING. Ugh, you have taken the same time that anyone has to come in here to defend Brett’s honor. If you think we are all super meaniefaces for getting a kick out of other people then invest your time in another website.

  83. If only there was a “lamebook website” for lamebook, could we then take a screenshot of Brett and Maria flipping out in the comments and post it there lol

  84. none of those comments up there are from the real maria, its some poser pretending that its her. and all i want is my picture off of this stupid website. I have emailed the administrators 3 times now.

  85. @Brett

    The administrators usually give a few days’s grace period before deleting something, just to get everyone a chance to download/screencap. It’s just a courtesy thing. I’m sure it’ll be gone soon.

  86. We can only hope.

  87. I’m not Marla you fools. I’m just sick of people being such douchebags on here, so I’m definitely done with this ridiculous site. Brett, don’t even worry about replying to them anymore, they probably get off seeing that you have personally responded to them.

  88. @ugh

    I can’t speak for anyone else, but I get an erection every time I see Brett’s name. And the fact that he completely missed the sarcasm of my last post made it just a little bit harder.

    But I’m guessing we haven’t heard the last from Brett!

  89. Oh he’ll be back!!

  90. He should have done it with a bunch of pigs instead. Lame.

  91. Officially lame.
    Farmville is lame lame lame.

  92. @Boz i love you

    @Brett im so glad you tuned up so we can laugh at you some more

    @ugh we all know thats you brett

  93. stupid farmville. -_-

  94. professor genius

    everyone in America is fucking lame

  95. Nice try, but I’m not Brett, or anyone that Brett knows. People other than the creators of these lamebook entry posts CAN in fact, hate this site too.

  96. Please please please please please, can someone screeny this whole thread and send it to Lamebook?! It’s beyond epic that the people concerned are commenting!

  97. ugh if this is so lame and everyone is so stupid for posting on this site and the whole site is a joke then aren’t you an even bigger idiot for coming back? I mean you are dissing us for commenting on this site and yet you do the same damn thing. If you think its mean then good for you but to stick around and cry about it just makes you look more retarded.

  98. Okay, everyone needs to do three things:
    1. Take a screenshot this Lame in case Brett gets his way and admin removes it
    2. Bookmark this page and come back several times a day, cos this shit just gets funnier and funnier
    3. Start adding friends on facebook named maria and brett. Then when you find them, post their names here. It will be even more hilarious if we can mock them more directly.

  99. Is this the Brett and Maria I know from school? If it is you should all know that Maria is cheating on Brett with a douche called David.

  100. By the fuck! Please tell me that is true, UberBitch. If so this thread and post is the best thing EVER. Maria what do you have to say for yourself?!?!

  101. @bingo



    Thanks. I shall try to be equal to your esteem.

  102. This was an amazing read.

    The original post was kind of ‘meh’ but the comments have skyrocketed this into a whole new realm of epic.

  103. @ugh weren’t you leaving?

  104. yes, and now i will, thanks for reminding me naaaice

  105. This kinda looks like my face

  106. Funny how most everyone was on Brett’s side before he turned up and revealed himself to be the whining lamester he really is.

    Awesome Brett. Awesome.

  107. Just noticed a lonely tree in the corner. Is that your subtle way of asking her to fuck you for the first time?

  108. Actually he just came on here to tell you all to shut the fuck up, that doesn’t make him lame. Get off his case.

  109. @ Brooke….errr…before he came along everyone was supporting him, saying it was really sweet and so on…acting like a jackass about it has made him lame.

    And before he arrives again and starts bitchin bout privacy and shit, we only got your first name a vague age bracket and the fact you’re American…Any idea how many Brett’s thre are in America?


    @ Brett – Let it go. All you really had to say was that you and Maria were already dating. That alone takes most of the lame out of it.

    That being said, you make it worse for yourself by getting defensive and attacking the people making comments. Most people here are more having fun with the situation at hand, less going after those involved personally. That’s why they don’t bother learning all the facts, it’s just for shits and giggles. Can you not see how asking a girl on date through a screen shot of a video game would be funny to outsiders with no background?

    Finally, to stop the bleeding, try to use proper English. Frequent mispellings and terrible grammer only add fuel to the fire.

  111. @ LMAOJKLOLROTFL ; ) – I agree with you. To not find humor in this situation (even as an insider in it) is ridiculous. I remember doing things like this when I was about 14. Which was about 8 years ago. Which was before facebook. And I knew THEN that it was a silly idea.

    Also: “grammar” not “grammer”. Just helpin’ a brother (or a sister?) out.

  112. I actually found it more lame when I found out that they were already dating

  113. I find it lame that you all are sitting here judging others. Fuck you all, I’m out.

  114. @Brooke

    Are you kidding? I have this page bookmarked! I’m hoping for new fail every day. And you do not disappoint.

  115. @EB: my god, that was lolgood

  116. This is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard of in terms of homecoming date asking. And someone campaigned to be someone else’s date in my school.

  117. I’m not done with them. I need more information. This tree–it intrigues me. EB brings up a very good question.

  118. Awww, cute. He is probably shy, so he did it this way. I want to know if she said yes.

  119. He’s asking her to a highschool dance. He’s not asking her to marry him or anything. It’s cute for highschoolers. Chill out.

  120. wow ppl wont stop being creative would they ?!

  121. DANG! Can’t believed he sacrificed his farms growth just to do that, how sweet.

  122. Awww, I wish Brett asked me. I find this super-cute.

  123. This is worse than when some dude at my high school homecoming showing up in some Star Trek-looking formal suit attire (with gloves). He was made fun of all night, before actually shitting his pants in the corner of the Hilton ballroom. There is a line that is crossed by losers that make you go from laughing hysterically to just feeling bad for the kid. But I digest…

    btw, great comments guys. So sad to see them come to an end.

  124. @123 What exactly are you digesting?

  125. @124 LOL!

  126. FuckFarmvilleAndFacebook

    Too many people defending this because too many of your losers are on farmville.

  127. At first I thought this was lame but potentially cute and was going to skip the comments.
    Then, it crossed my mind that it would be hilarious if Maria was the one who submitted this and had to see if anyone else had thought of the same thing.
    I am so glad I read the comments, because they were even better than I had hoped.

    Also, is anyone else incapable of envisioning Maria as a real person but rather picturing her as Maria from Harvest Moon?… Dirty little hick town librarian…

  128. Wow! I guess he didn’t have the balls to ask her in person?

  129. I think the guy putting this much effort into asking her out is cute, regardless of the douche bag Lamester Review. Totally adorable and genuine, I love it.

  130. AW that’s adorable. They’re in high school and it’s not like he’s proposing. THAT would be lame.

  131. @Brett:

    Why do you care so much about this being taken down? The picture doesn’t show your face, or Maria’s face. No one knows who you are, except your own friends! You are a tool for responding and being so reactive. Next time something of yours pops up somewhere on the internet, laugh it off, show some friends, life goes on. This will not affect your ability to get a job in the future, and should be brushed off as no big deal. Have you seen the other stuff on this site? This is nothing. Move on. But also….this was pretty lame, have to say.

  132. brett, your a little bit famous, no biggee. and i think it was really cute. look around and you’ll see it could have been a whole lot worse. it kinda takes the fun out to see some of these adults overdoing the commentary involving kids, but oh well.

  133. Saratops, you can’t just look at the photos on Lamebook, laughing and commenting is half the fun!

  134. @Brett, how is it an invasion of privacy if you posted it on facebook for hundreds to see anyway?

  135. Brett is a freshmen in college + Maria is a Junior in High School = LAME

  136. Maria said no.

  137. Rumple!!! I said Yes

  138. LMFAO!!!! I am just kidding as if? I dont know this guy but any guy who asks a girl to homecoming that way deserves his ass to be kicked!

  139. Brett, i know who you are and i really wish i did not.
    Hope you will not hurt her as u and ur faithful “friends” did for me in M……
    She deserves someone better than u, u retarded pighead.U are a little bastard just worth doing some fucking lame shit on FB.
    U are NOT cool, you are a baby that does not take his responsa
    bilities. I wish I did not meet u, u make me sick.
    If you wanna talk, hit me or kick my ass, please come here, my bf is a boxer and he did not ask me on FB.
    The dirty bitch.

  140. lol

  141. who the fuck are you and what are you talking about?

  142. no, i don’t know you, it’s a mistake.
    but it’s not too late to change…

  143. Hey pigface, I miss you saying shit on face/lamebook.
    come back we r just so lol.
    piggggyy. baby piggggy yyyeah.

  144. humm i love bacon.

  145. im keen on bacon.

  146. get lost and go die somewhere else with your swine flu.

  147. I have nothing else to do right now, and THAT is a shame. look
    i am here to talk to piggyy. I AM LAME ACTUALLY.


  149. actually not. I think its to late im just no more interested
    Say hi to Maria.

  150. no im being forreal. who are you? why dont you have enough balls to say your name? and if your saying come have sex with me again..then i know who you are obviouslly.

  151. wait. maybe i do know who you are ACTUALLY..

  152. Mon coeur est rempli de colère et de frustration.

  153. im sorry that your heart is filled with anger and frustration..idk what you want me to do about it? you sit here and talk shit and you wont even tell me who you are.

  154. Ive no balls but im brave and my name is Helene.
    The only thing i think you can do is to apologize to me. Take your balls with you this time and find me on skype.
    I hate you because I believe in you and i think you are just so wrong.

  155. Helene? lol i think you have the wrong brett. I dont know nor ever heard of you before in my life. hahaha

  156. Is it funny?

  157. i need more than that.
    i need to talk with you.

  158. :) Brett

  159. Why do you hide on facebook now?

  160. Come on, your future family and me are waiting for you. :)

  161. is there a chance of “happy ending” like a nice private talk and then maybe a friendship relationship? I just want it to be clear and i will be really thankful if you can tell me what you think of me without being angry or despitful…You know that i will respect your feelings whatever you tell me. You can email me i prefer if you remember because its hard on this website. thank you.

  162. you say all of this bad stuff about me, then wanna be friends!? lol i really would. but i do not know who you are lady. i dont know your real name. i dont know you. i dont know your email address. i honestly think you have problems and i suggest that you get help from this fantasy world your living in, like honestly, thats my opinion.

  163. why do you say “i really would” if you think im crazy? why dont you say “seriously i dont want to talk to you, leave me alone”? and why do you come back here then? i dont like talking on the internet, i dont like waiting for an answer especially for this kind of conversation. yes you dont know me, you have no idea of what ive been through. and im being helped already and thats a little because of that story too. and i think you have a problem too with your ego. Now i really wish this to finish in either way because i have other things to do in my life that are important for me and that i need to achieve with a serene mind.

  164. the future Beanstalker will suck less cock.

  165. Lol, what the fuck is this?

  166. same shizzz, different peanut gallery. moving on…

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