Getting tired of people declaring themselves heros for killing a spider. If you battle a lion in your shower or find yourself cornered in the basement by a wild boar feel free to post about it, until the shut your pie hole. You know who also kills
Spiders? Kittens, sweet fluffy kittens, and you don’t hear them bragging about it.
Yeah, what’s up with all this spider phobia…I took out at least a dozen of them fuckers while I was out working by the shed today…They were at least the size of a silver dollar…I used my boot…and maybe a couple of paper towels. It was mildly enjoyed, but kind of pissed me off because I had shit to do and they just kept getting in the damn way. Usually I’d prefer to keep them alive…you know…’cause they’re good for the local ecosystem…and all that jazz…
( w w w.s p o r t 3 t r a d e.n e t )
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I was driving 2 times the speed limit (1 limit per person in the car) through the Fraser River canyon one hot summer day, concentrating through dangerous S-curves so as to avoid unexpectedly swimming with the spawning salmon.
Layne Staley was ripping into some of my favourite lyrics and I was practicing my falsetto.
A bumble bee appeared out of nowhere.
Neither my passenger nor I bothered to acknowledge its existence except to give it a typical Canadian head-nod.
It was just a bumble bee.
The bee, however, disagreed.
The bee spent the next 5 minutes flying in front of my face saying “hey douchebag, i’m a fucking bee! Notice me damnit! BZZ bzz.. Show me some respect BITCHES!” etc.
Well, obviously my dramaqueenless non reaction was pissing it off and making it try harder and harder to turn me into a panicky teenage girl. It failed miserably.
I dealt with this distraction in a calm and mature manner, only slowing down enough to reach for the SPF 30 sunscreen (for 97% protection, don’t want to catch the cancer, eh) and turned him into a coconutty (new word) sticky mess. Easy peasy.
Bonus, with the coating of sunscreen on my windshield it saved me having to apply it to myself for the remainder of the drive. Although i did have to slow to the posted speed limit thereafter since i lost 97% visibility. RIP Layne
A few things that bothered me here: 1)It’s a fucking spider, not a lion. @) Can it be called a “convoy” if it’s comprised of only ONE fucking vehicle? 3)This has been done to death, and it wasn’t even funny the first time. 4) NEVER compare yourself to Leonidas. And 5)
Your second point bothered me, as well. I think asshole OP meant conveyance, which by all means, isn’t the traditional/common term used in place of “automobile”, but as we know, can be used as another word to describe a means/method of transportation. In this particular case, said nancy boy OP’s shitty prius or other god awful looking hybrid/economy car similar progressive, new age yuppie types might drive. The type of prick that would describe their car as a “conveyance”. Dennis Rodman would fuck his day up! Be well! (I hope someone else gets this reference)