Monday, May 13, 2013

Knocked Out

previous post: Supporting the Scripture



  1. Challenge for everyone: lie in bed and piss your pants. It’s so nice and relaxing and warm. Fucking try it, maybe you’ll like it.

  2. Without a doubt, after going on a bender with the guys, drinking an Alieve or any headache tablet before I go to bed helps. No hangovers in the mornings. Great for weekdays.

  3. ^And what the fuck is the point of telling us that story?

  4. ^ Not a fucking story, fucktard. It’s a bit of advice on the general theme of the post. And here’s some advice for you, asswipe, go suck on a cyanide lollipop.

  5. I have a story. It’s a story about the time I had lunch with Pancho Gonzales.

    **Starts horribly fake Mexican accent**

    One day, I was walking around in the pueblito in the Sonoran desert, when I saw Pancho Gonzales ride up to me on his caballo. He rode up to me, and he pointed his pistola right into my face, and he said, “You, give me all your money.” I was indeed very scared, and so I did. He laughed at me, and he said, “Now, take off your pantalones.” I said, “No, Pancho, please.” He yelled, “Take down your pantaloness or I shoot you in the face!” So I did. And he laughed. And then he said, “Now, take a chit on the ground.” I said, “No, Pancho! I can’t take a chit on the ground!” He pulled back the hammer on the pistola, and said, “TAKE A CHIT ON THE GROUND!” So I did. And then, he laughed a bit more, and then he said, “Now EAT your chit!” I said, “Please, Pancho, I don’t want to eat my chit.” I pleaded some more, and begged him not to make me eat my chit. He fired one shot at my feet, and he said, “Eat your chit or I will shoot you in the face with my pistola.” So I picked up my chit, and I began to eat it.

    Pancho started laughing, and he laughed so hard that he dropped his pistola on the ground. So I picked it up, and I pointed it at him, and he stopped laughing, and I said, “Pancho Gonzales, get off your caballo.” He got off his horse. And then I said, “Now take down your pantalones and chit on the ground.” He said, “No, I cannot do that. I cannot chit on the ground!” I pulled the hammer back, and said “Take a chit on the ground, NOW!” And so he took down his pantalones, and he chit on the ground. And I said to him, “Now, Pancho Gonzales, EAT your chit!” He begged me, and he pleaded with me, and he got on his rodillas and said, “Please don’t make me eat my chit!” So I shot one shot from his pistola at the ground by his knees, and he was scared, and he picked up his chit and he began to eat it.

    And that was the time that I had lunch with Pancho Gonzales.

  6. ^Would have been better if you made him eat YOUR chit, beatus. That way you could have said that you shared a meal with him and be able to tell the story a little different.

  7. Too fake, didn’t read.

  8. “Fuck my glorious life.”
    You’re the attention whore who posted this story; should have kept it to yourself. Should have been thankful your father hasn’t told anybody, until you decide to spill the beans.
    If you’re seeking pity and sympathy from your piss story by putting it on facebook, you’re going to end up being bullied for a long while. Either you put it on FML, or you keep it to yourself, or even cry/piss yourself about it to sleep every night, like the whiny unappreciating bitch you are.

  9. ^ did you consider that the OP just wanted to share a funny story with its friends? I personally would have saved the story for the pub but hey, this is just how people roll these days.

  10. What happened to the time when jokes weren’t so humiliating?

  11. Lol, that was cute Beatus

  12. that was funny as hell beatus

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