Friday, July 9, 2010

Jeeeez!

previous post: It’s a Hit!

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60 Comments

  1. STEVER!

  2. Big_Fuckin_Cock_All_Day

    NOOOOO!!!!!!!

  3. haha I love the first pic

  4. Krazy Eyez Killa

    First pic is okay, second two are lame

  5. Big_Fuckin_Cock_All_Day

    submersible walk through water jesus? could it be?

  6. Krazy Eyez Killa

    second two? Oh man I need to go lie down.

  7. The first one was great. Crackle Barrel is good, but not that good, wow!

  8. First is HILARIOUS! He’d probably do it anyway.

  9. Bite your tongue, ee. Cracker Barrel is spectacular. :)

  10. I BET you CANT stay on this page for 15 SECONDS without LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY! http://laughingtest.interservnet.com/

  11. They make flabby bacon! That is a sin of itself. Bacon should melt in your mouth, not require all my jaw strength to chew! Whew…sorry, didn’t mean to get all worked up there.

  12. Is this progress I’m seeing with the little icons on the right?

  13. Cracker Barrel woulda been better if Jim did not follow up his own post and let others continue the story.

  14. Dan Fargis, this is a post for u :D
    I’m so pissed off?
    :) I like the first pic though

  15. I liked these :)

    First one was awesome, and the third one was good. Second one is just one of those facepalm things…

  16. Oh ee!! I think it is!! How exciting :D

  17. Kevin gives Christians a bad name. No true believer, someone who has the Lord in his heart, would speak like that.

    “But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God’s throne: Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King. Neither” – Matthew 5:34-36

  18. Big_Fuckin_Cock_All_Day

    dan fargis, you give christians a bad name by being an asshole

  19. Troll harder, Dan.

  20. I understand neither bible nor cracker barrel references. In happier news, I was finally able to log in and make this scintillating observation.

  21. dan_fargis; finally home sweet home. Sadly the posts sucks. A lot.

  22. The Cracker Barrel post reminds me of a song by a small band I saw in South Carolina once. The chorus to their biggest song was “On the 8th Day, God Made Sweet Tea”.

  23. Am I the only one wondering what the hell Kohl’s has to do with the horror of Cracker Barrel?

  24. Dawn of the Dan

    Gaaahaha! Jim is teh funny.

  25. Whenever I eat at Cracker Barrel I feel my arteries harden just a little bit more each time. But, goddamn it, those are some good biscuits.

  26. @MmeEhzi
    I was wondering that.
    Either by where they live there’s a Kohls by cracker barrel, or. I don’t know.

  27. But besides that,
    these weren’t that great. Sorry lamebook.
    The first one was okay but that’s about it.

  28. I just wanna say, “what if god smoked cannabis”, i leave you with that thought

  29. Ashu; Who Cares

    Jim is such a mindfuck ! lame duck quack quack

  30. At the risk of being called a dumb or blamed for living under a stone till now…
    1) What’s with the first pic, coz I only see water and a street sign floating in there?
    2) What is Cracker Barrel and why is it funny?

  31. I thought the first was funny but agree the third would be better if someone else had finished it off. His big ending about going to Kohl’s was not at all what I was expecting. I really thought he was going for something a lot raunchier.

  32. People, seriously…quit feeding the troll and it will go away and die.

    The first one is hilarious.

  33. @#30, you need to read the caption under the first pic. Re. cracker barrel I assume it is yet another USA fast food place but still didn’t really find it funny. x

  34. @Nicoretta, I had to register just to set you straight about the Cracker Barrel. It is not a fast food place, but a chain of country-style sit down restaurants scattered off of remote highway exits nationwide. When first you pull in to the giant parking lot of a Cracker Barrel, you will be greeted by a long patio that wraps around the structure, peppered with rocking chairs and those over sized checkers games that take place on what look like rugs.

    Inside, you will find yourself in an overstocked store, which sells a variety of items from jewelry to ceramic angel figurines to those kid’s toys that are made of vibrating plastic balls with fake ferrets attached. They also have penny candy.

    If you can tear yourself away from such wonders and make it to the seating section of the restaurant, you are free to order from a plethora of delicious menu items, but in most of my experience the service is decidedly slow (which is probably why they provide you with a jump-pegs-into-holes game which I cannot further describe at all the tables).

  35. Wow PearTactics actually that sounds pretty bloody brilliant! Wanna go to one now!

  36. Cracker Barrel is for rednecks.

  37. @anne: I never considered myself a redneck (even though I live in the South and we’re all stereotyped as such :) but I do love some Cracker Barrel chicken and dumplings…

  38. @ pear … reminds me of Stuckey’s … salt water taffy, whatever that is/was.

  39. porkchop_sundae

    park brake differential is weakening

  40. I liked the kinda random Kohls bit. Maybe they went to buy clothes?

  41. Yes, the implication there is that they went to buy clothes. I’ve never been so irritated by someone’s comment that I felt the need to comment.

  42. Ohhh… the Kohls thing makes more sense if you reread it… the whole “realized they were naked” bit.

    I now pity the people in the Cracker Barrel who were witness to such a ‘holy’ experience.

  43. Boink

  44. @Grim tidings – would God’s preferred colour be Caucasian?

  45. I know Im late on this but did this really just come out of Dan_Fargis’ keyboard? “Kevin gives Christians a bad name. No true believer, someone who has the Lord in his heart, would speak like that.”

    A true believer would not be so unbelievable judgmental. Give Satan the middle finger for me when you see him Dan.

  46. sorry to poop the ass-party wookie, but jesus probably doesn’t exist.

    satan does though.

  47. yoinks arch nemisis

    There’s historical evidence of Jesus’ existence

  48. There’s supposed to be as much evidence of Jesus’ existence as there is of Julius Caesar’s existence. Not sure if that is true or not though and I’m pretty sure there is no evidence of Him having ever walked on water. Although there were sketetons of almost an entire egyptian army found in the middle of the Red Sea, which is pretty freaky!

    Oh and Dan_Fargis:

    “So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another.” (Romans 14:13)

    “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” (Matthew 7:1)

    “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” (John 8:7)

    We can all google scripture.

  49. There is historical evidence of his existence, after all he is the reason christianity came about..Just not everyone believes him to be the son of God..Coulda just been a regular guy.

  50. there is absolutely no evidence that Jesus ever existed. No contemporary of Jesus ever wrote about him; there are no records to say that Pontius Pilot executed him; there is no evidence that any city called Nazereth even existed at that time.

    All of the “historial evidence” mentioning Jesus was written many years after his death. None of them (including the gospels) were written by anyone that claimed to have even met him (the earliest gospel was written 70 years after Jesus was supposed to have died)

    He didn’t exist. His dad doesn’t exist. It’s all hearsay, and I am eternally grateful for that fact.

  51. dreamweaver said:

    “He didn’t exist. His dad doesn’t exist. It’s all hearsay, and I am eternally grateful for that fact.”

    Wait a second, dreamweaver. According to your eschatology, there is no such thing as “eternally”.

  52. Well I am glad that there is a belief that causes people to do good things and strive to be better people. Yes, there are some religious people who do bad things in the name of their God and I understand that a lot of wars etc are caused in the name or one God or other, but do people seriously thing that if nobody was religious there would be no wars?! THAT would be more naive than believing in something that there is no ‘historicsl evidence’ of.

    I think that religion causes a lot of happiness to a lot of people and don’t think anyone should have the right to say that it is invalid. If you don’t believe it, you don’t believe it, if you try to tell others that they should conform to your belief that there is no higher power then how are you any different from the Christians who try to convert everyone?

  53. *think
    *historical

    Bleugh… must learn to use a keyboard better…

  54. @BarGolfWill

    eternally: adverb
    forever, always, for keeps, for all time, in perpetuity, evermore etc etc

    The word doesn’t necessarily imply a belief in an everlasting deity – though as it’s possible to use it for that purpose, it made me chuckle.

    I’m always, continually, ever, evermore, for ever so long, for keeps, forever, forevermore, in perpetuum, perpetually, regularly, and until cows come home sorry for any confusion this may have caused.

  55. @Tazinijif

    I don’t believe I told anyone they had to confirm to my beliefs. I merely stated the fact that there is no historical evidence that this particular stone age myth has any basis in reality, and expressed my relief that no such evidence exists.

    That isn’t to say however that I don’t have the right to disagree with anything I choose to disagree with! That’s the beauty of having freedom of speech and the ability to look at something, see its faults and apply logic to, in this instance, reach the conclusion that it cannot be true.

    You however are free to make your own mind up.

  56. @dreamweaver Sorry, that wasn’t meant as a personal attack or anything, it wasn’t even aimed at you, or anyone really, I’m just sitting here chatting/debating. Mostly with myself, but at least on the internet I can pretend someon’s interested :0P

    I’m going to go back to my corner now…

  57. Now, before I start my post…this is not the time of place for a debate on beliefs, because it will accomplish nothing for either party, and just get people angry.

    However, I do feel the need to right wrongful ideas.

    @Dan_Fargis: Your statement is right, but your reference is incorrect. The word used in Matthew 5:34 for “swear” in Greek is “omnuō”, which means to take an oath (like, “I swear on my life that I will find you.”).

    A proper verse would have been Ephesians 4:29, which says “Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (NIV)

    @Tazinijif: You too, are right but wrong. Yes, we are not meant to judge. But your idea of judgement is slightly skewed.

    Colossians 3:16 says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.” (NIV).

    You’ll notice the word “admonish”, which means to caution or warn against something, or even to scold. The word “judge” used in Matthew 5:1 is “krinō”, which means (I’m paraphrasing here) “To mentally or judicially distinguish, with implication to condemn”.

    When the Bible say not to judge, it means not to look down on others. It doesn’t mean we’re not supposed to tell people when they’re disobeying God’s word; just that we’re supposed to go about it in the right way.

    Romans 3:23 does say that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” We’re all equal in God’s eyes; but unfortunately a lot of Christians (myself included) sometimes struggle with that…

  58. @marc92 I don’t know how often you visit this site, but dan_fargis seems to spend most of his life here, criticising both the people in the posts themselves and, more often, the people who respond in the comments. Perhaps in this instance he was cautioning or warning someone, but his posts are generally very judgemental. I don’t think that anyone on this earth has the power to condemn or judge someone for their actions (as long as they are legal) whether they consider them to be Christian actions or not. Leave the judging up to God.

    Personally I think that a good Christian is someone who makes others aware of their religion and that they can be approached if anyone is in need of a moral compass or Christian support. It is fine to make your beliefs known but to force them upon others is just not right. Not everyone wants to be ‘saved’ and I think dan_fargis would find his time better spent in a homeless shelter serving up soup and words of encouragement to people who actually WANT the help than trolling.

  59. Man… bunch of blowhard buzzkills around here. Enough with the pseudo-informed debate about Christianity.

  60. “there is absolutely no evidence that Jesus ever existed. No contemporary of Jesus ever wrote about him; there are no records to say that Pontius Pilot executed him; there is no evidence that any city called Nazereth even existed at that time.” <– wrong. That's all

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