Monday, February 22, 2010

James, the King of Lame

previous post: Too Much Monday



  1. What a douche.

  2. What is wrong with this kid?? QUICK – shoot it before it spreads!!!

  3. James is a racist, horny twat.

    That is all.

  4. Racist

  5. Not much else to say besides James’ dad should have gone out and bought all that crap the day James was conceived.

    JOKE. Don’t hurt me, please.

  6. I am confused , is he uttering whitethoughts or is whitethoughts a friend (follower) of his on twitter ?

    And … no actually why would i care about this ?

    Hope you drop your phone and a nice big black man picks it up and while he hands it back to you has a quick look at the screen to see what you were twittering on about …

  7. I don’t think I could have remained FB friends with James sufficiently long enough to gather this much shit to send through to LB. I mean, someone kept him on their friends list for 3 months!!

  8. The title says it all.


  9. James needs to be backer-acted.

  10. People that mirror their twitter updates on Facebook are complete tools. If I wanted to see your inane 140-character ramblings every 5 minutes, I would follow you on twitter.

  11. @1 Paul Smecker: Might you want a bagel with your coffee?

  12. father sha – #whitethoughts is, as far as i understand, a trending topic on twitter.

  13. My shopping list:

    1 six-pack of Smirnoff Ice
    1 banana
    1 single condom
    1 trial size of lubricant
    1 travel tooth brush
    1 hammer
    1 roll of duct tape
    1 bottle of bleach
    1 pair of rubber gloves
    1 painter’s drop cloth
    1 DVD of Cool Runnings

  14. lol mcowles.

  15. who masturbates for 6.5 hours? procrasturbate much?

  16. Ahh, bananas.

  17. That last one is actually a quote from family guy.

  18. I believe that should have read; “but I can’t go home to masturbate, for 6.5 hours”. There should have been a pause in there…

  19. I think it’s kind of funnier if you read it without the pause, though

  20. my sentiments exactly, gingivitis.

  21. I sense a new Jason Monster Fail…

  22. he’s a muppet but i have to give him credit for the last one,though…I live in P.R.China,i got the point and agree

    what an idiot.

  24. The last one was just a Family Guy quote! He can’t even get credit for that!

    And someone find his FB immediately plox.

  25. My name is James and I approve this post

  26. Paul Smecker: Might you want a bagel with your coffee? Sorry if I’m opening up a painful subject..but what does this mean? I’ve seen this before and I have no clue.

  27. what a douche! bless his soul he made my damn day

  28. i <3 james

  29. Teeda. A DOUCHE is a cleansing product for a woman’s vagoo. Therefore, calling someone a douche [especially a man] is even worse than calling someone, say, a pussy, or a lameass, or whathaveyou.

  30. ok,i’ll give credit to Family Guy then but still…completely agree

  31. douchebag of the day

  32. With this diatribe James will be masturbating for the forseeable future. Are there any women in their right mind who would go out with that specimen of knobcheese?!

    BritishHobo FTW.

  33. Kids definitely got to grow up.

  34. I’m going to drown him.

  35. Lulz, really? I know what a douche is…and when I see one. I was talking about how Paul Smecker usually posts “Might want a bagel with my coffee?”. I wanted to know what was behind that particular statement. Sorry if I was unclear.

  36. @teeda Paul Smecker is a character on Boondock Saints. The line about the bagel is a line from the movie.

  37. james is a cockmerchant…

  38. Actually Nazis DID use the whole Jews. Skin for lamp shades, bodies for medical testing, gold fillings for jewelry.

    I’m not saying it’s RIGHT, just that maybe he should research his stupid sociopathic updates before he makes them. Of course then they wouldn’t be stupid and sociopathic, so carry on, James!

  39. Did you hear that Mussolini’s scientists invented a train that could run on herbs? Yeah, when he was leader, he made sure all of his trains ran on thyme.

    or something…

  40. @ Leslie – thank you!

  41. @7 : I’m betting James himself submitted this.

  42. @mcowles – Boooooo! You should oregano better. You have to parse gingerly if you want to be a sage and not an anise.

  43. Well I lmao at the last one, then I found out it was from the Family guy, and I Lmao at family guy. So stands to reason.

  44. @Anna

    Wow. Just Wow. (In a good way)

    Now I’m jealous of Slim and the anal annex. (That was you, right? haha)

  45. @mcowles – Thanks m :) Aye, that’s me all the way. And I DO mean “all the way.” Feel free to join; feeling a bit frisky and adventurous.

  46. @Anna

    So one guy + anal in the annex = normal

    But two guys + anal in the annex is what you enjoy when you’re feeling frisky and adventurous?

  47. @m – Well, what is normal anyway? Is any one of the three terribly abnormal? And if so, does the combination of the three make it that much more abnormal? Do you think we could get the sisters from Denmark’s curling team in on the action? And a webcam? And a 50-gallon drum of lube?

  48. Sweet!! Lets Effiel Tower Anna!!

  49. OMG… I’d curl the toes of one of them there female curling teams… So sexy watching chics sweep

  50. “You’ll do a line and I’ll do a line, honey.
    You’ll do a line and I’ll do a line, babe.
    You’ll do a line and I’ll do a line, we’ll fight an’ screw ’til the mornin’ time.
    Honey, babe, be mine.”

    And yes, Madeleine is the jam. As in, I would eat jam off of Madeleine in a heartbeat.

  51. And slim, don’t forget the weed.

  52. I don’t have everything except a 50-gallon drum of lube. How about a 25 gallon tuba lube.

    I know… I’ll go stand in the corner.


    We can Effiel Tower her and even finish her off in an Arch De Triumph. But she’s not no regular Notre Dame, so you have to promise that you Louvre her as much as I do. And don’t you dare have De Gaulle (airport) to lie to me!

  53. I DO have*… damn typos.

  54. Oh mcowles, I’m loving you more by the minute.

  55. And I used to play trombone, which hopefully conjures a whole new set of mental images. Perhaps some slide grease is in order…

  56. @Anna

    I’m assuming you haven’t picked up your trombone in years. It’s a sad, sad thought. You should get it out, when Slim and myself are there. It’s ok if it’s old and if you’re not as good as you used to be. I’m sure Slim and myself would still love it if you performed the rusty trombone for us.


  57. I think I made a grammatical error there. I’m glad the grammar nazis aren’t here.


  59. You’re right, it has been a while. I would have to build my chops back up and do some stretching. But some things are just like riding a bike. A slippery bike that leads to orgasm. I’m also proficient on the flute.

    What what?

  60. …. man, I need to add my hot english teacher from high school to my facebook list.

  61. @dawnstar – yes, everything DOES equal sex. That’s why words are so much fun. Most of them have multiple connotations, and generally at least one of those connotations relates to sex.

  62. @mcowles – If only students knew who teachers were in real life. They might be shocked and appalled. Or pleasantly surprised.

  63. @11 The day I want the Boston Police to do my thinking for me, I will have a fucking tag on my toe!

  64. Teachers are some of the biggest pervs I know… Adding you to the top of that list Anna… Anyone that would let mcowles and I plow them is 2 steps above retarded, 3 steps below insane and right in step with me

  65. Yay, it’s good to be appreciated. I have to admit, though, that I might get one more step toward the insane side of the spectrum, possibly two. Of course, if I can admit that, does that make me less insane? Much love slimjayz :)

  66. I hope not… Insane is good… Increases the changes you’d do freaky things with me ;)

  67. Ah, but you’re oh-so-married. Pity really…

    It’s the mania that makes me a freak. Sometimes I’m just really down for slow wet head and a bit of the old in-out-in-out.

    I’m closet vanilla ;)

  68. James seems like a pretty cool guy

  69. @ Slim, Anna, mcowles and eenerbl – would you guys please just have an orgy already and stop leaving people hot and bothered at work? ;)


  70. @CMCo6

    *kicks the dirt* fine… I guess.

  71. James, you make being an Asshole seem like a craft, and if it were you would be excellent at it, takes alot of time and practice being the douche that you are.Keep it up, you might get somewhere with it………..NOT!

  72. Damn, the sad thing is, you have to make the decision to put in a lot of effort to come across that ignorant.

  73. Thanks James; it’s because of people like you that the rest of the world sees Americans as dipshit-losers. Eat ass.

  74. Fresherthanfebreeze

    the different dates make this unredeemable, thought he was hacked by a friend or something but this is just…

    -.- Wtf

  75. oh for the love of all things holy

  76. James here is a gentleman and a scholar, and you’re all just jealous.

  77. Lmfao, James is fucking epic. Everything sucks until you get to the Asian update, which just seals the deal for epicness.

  78. Too bad he stole it from family guy.

  79. james hubbard lolz

  80. John Players Standard

    I made this account just to let you guys know that lots of people make facebook accounts just to troll there friends log. Like me I don’t ever post anything serious. All my posts are to fuck with peoples heads especially my cunt ex girlfriend cuz she likes to stalk me.

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