Monday, June 28, 2010

Jacqed Up!

previous post: More and More Morons

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70 Comments

  1. Wait, what…?

  2. Ummm…that was way TMI…I wonder if she was just making it up to make him look bad for cheating on her or something. I mean, are people really that sick??

  3. fake but hilarious is my official and very dogmatic judgment.

    jacquelynn ftw!

  4. krasivaya_devushka

    Yeah, this is siiiick.

  5. Fake and sick. I feel dirty just from reading that.

  6. This is the worst thing on lamebook!

  7. Dancinganimal256

    Please let this be fake.

  8. i don’t follow the getting aroused by the smell of dog shit part. doesn’t make sense to me, especially knowing what he was up to when he smelled like that.

  9. CommentsAtLarge

    “used to make me call him Michael Vick during foreplay”

    Oh. My. God. bwahahaha!

  10. obvious troll is obvious.

  11. that has to be totally fake!!! completely!!! and oh so nasty!! and she just makes herself look nasty by saying she gets aroused by the smell of dogshit.. if a guy i was seeing had his junk smell like dogshit everynight… there would be NO WAY i’d mess with it before he took a shower or something!!

  12. Yuck. Just big ol’ yuck.

  13. No wonder he wanted her to call him Michael Vick. The guy doesn’t have some fucked up fetish, he just wants to hurt dogs.

  14. How could anybody dislike this? I have read every single Lamebook post and this is the hardest I’ve laughed at any.

  15. Where’s the Hobo? I’m looking forward to his insight.

  16. Man, if she would have left out the part about Michael Vick and the dog shit arousal, I almost would have bought this. But then again, who makes sure they smell their partner’s bits every day?

  17. I wish I didn’t read this

  18. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    This is gold.

    “I suggest you all smell your boyfriends package every night”
    ladies, while you are down there, feel free to kill 2 birds with one stone.

  19. thats sick man i woulnt fuck ne dog cept my gf loooooooooool

  20. I registered just so I could post this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruef7aYCEbc

  21. Excuse me while I go rolling on the floor laughing my ass off for a while.

  22. I’m just confused by this.

  23. this whole thing sounds completely fake and staged.

  24. Ummmmm, what the fark? That is twisted. I really hope that´s fake. Why´d she smell his dick when he came home? What started that off? Ew, no, I don´t really want to know much more. I was in fact dining when I read this, but alas, no more.

  25. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    @23 that doesn’t make it any less golden.

  26. “Honey! I’m Home!”

    “Hey babe, drop ‘em.”

    So fake and gross it’s not even close to funny.

  27. Fake or not, Jacquelynn, Jamal, and other person involved in this post should be shot. For wasting my time, if nothing else.

  28. thanks for the vid emma.

    that song is going to be central to ‘alord’s summer of style 2k10′.

  29. Um, prolapse is when the uterus slips out of place or falls out. So unless the dog has a uterus in it’s ass, something funny is going on here, beyond your run of the mill bestiality.

  30. The Michael Vick comment threw it over the edge.

    Fake.

  31. @KK – There’s such a thing as a prolapsed anus.

  32. kk.

    without wanting to sound like i have expertise on the subject, i’m fairly sure you can have a prolapsed anus.

    i thought a prolapse was just when something internal became….external, to put it as elegantly as i can.

  33. And yeah, I’m going to have to agree with Crimm. It was sort of believable up until Michael Vick came into the picture, haha.

  34. That’s the exact same way I thought of it, Wonderbread.

    Not even so much what it’s about, but how it’s written makes me think it’s fake.

  35. The Pavlov reference puts it out of the running for even trying to be realistic. Not so much fake as just a FB gag. I was amusedish.
    And prolapse is not limited to the uterus. As the 62% of us who had to wiki that now know.

  36. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    @26 Wonderbread, apparently you haven’t dealt any crazy girls. I have seen guys go through stuff worse than “drop your pants”

  37. Totally fake, but the Michael Vick comment made me laugh my ass off. And yeah, you can totally have a prolapsed anus.

    Google is the uninformed’s best friend, try using it before making a statment that can be easily disproven. Technically it’s the rectum, but who’s splitting hairs. Other than the poor dog’s anus hairs. You can also have a prolapsed hemorrhoid, umbilical cord, bladder, cervix, colon… Shall I keep going?

  38. The fact that this is fake doesn’t make me feel any better. Someone still had to come up with it. And that makes my stomach hurt.

  39. @28

    Summer of Style, eh? I approve. The song obviously exhibits the superb style and class that is normally associated with dick-smelling.

  40. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    NO FREAKING WAY !!!

  41. She almost had me going. I almost thought it was real.

    I was thinking, why would someone stick something that smells like poop inside their mouth. Love makes you do crazy things I guess.

    But then her very last comment? She is obviously trying to be funny. It was just… lame.

  42. Well, it makes perfect sense that she’s aroused by dog shit after fucking her bf, who’s dick smelled like dog feces, and it triggered a certain stimulus in her brain. Perhaps she was just a very giving gf and gave bj’s every time her bf came home and happened to smell his shit stick each time. She was all up on that shit after all.
    Regardless of everything, it was a great story, and ignorance is bliss.

  43. CommentsAtLarge

    There was a song on the radio here in the states a couple years back that encouraged the ladies to smell their man’s fun zone (paraphrasing) to indicate whether he was cheating or not. Perhaps the inspiration for this?

  44. “Call me Ron Mexico, baby”

  45. So she was completely Heisenberg about this guy, but even after his Schrodinger turned out to smell like dog shit, she didn’t Occam this puppy pumper’s Planck?

  46. I’ve just had so many emotions roll over me, I’m not sure what to feel. Wonder, amazement, disgust, fear. One thing is for sure, Mr. ee is getting a through check tonight just to be on the safe side.

  47. OMG I’m going to suggest my gf smell my dick every time I drop in.The mental picture alone is priceless..

  48. @Soup: Well we can’t be certain, can we?

  49. @20 it needs a fellas video response… wash yo dick..

  50. Smell my dick wait a minute hold up see that’s how a bitch get her eyes swoll up and I don’t give a damn what yo homegurls seen when I was in the club what the fuck you mean they ain’t got no business eyein’ me like dat
    You ain’t got no business tryin’ me like dat
    I wun even feelin’ Diamond like dat I was wildin’ but I wasn’t clowin’ like dat
    Dat’s alright dat’s okay gon head believe what yo homegurl say a nigga like me drink a lot of liquor meet a lot of bitchs take a lot of pictures
    I might break bread wit one or two strippers but that don’t mean you got to pull my zipper
    Thinking I dick down the whole town even though I got dick to go around

  51. Titsonabull, you just made my life.

  52. Bulldog, that’s what I was thinking, and if it is real…that poor dog. This is all kinds of fucked up I wish I didn’t read it.

  53. @eenerbl

    YOU MADE ME SPIT OUT MY JUICE!!!!! freaking gold!!! your just amazing!

    and just FYI people.. when you go down on your man… a nose is a powerful thing… thankfully my man does not smell at all bad.. just smells like hot skin… if i’m extra horny i just get to work.. if my horniness can wait.. his ass can take a shower.

  54. I need a shower.

  55. releasethehounds

    I work with a guy who’s nickname is anus and he can fart on cue. You just have to say ‘anus fart’, and he farts. Once he pushed so hard that he prolapsed his anus and had to have an op to fix it. He brought in pics to show everyone because he was so proud. It looked every bit as fucked as you imagine it would.

  56. @55 i knew a guy who could fire one out upon request. He couldn’t burp though… at all… til one day he popped out a tiny little bluuurp and got so excited that we threw a party. He got so drunk he ended up glassing a cop. he’s still in jail.. so umm.. I guess it’s a similar moral to your story. Not always better out than in.

  57. I call FAKE !!!!

  58. it is fake, but people do stick it in dogs, which is messed up

  59. I’ve been a long-time watcher of you all and find most of you to be incredibly funny and make the whole site much more worth a glance but I just had to register to vent something-
    I know that, most likely, these comments about dog-fuckers and the like are made with a hint of irony and I’m probably just over-reacting but I just want to throw this out there-
    It sucks to be them. I know it does, because I was one (mostly poodles and labradors) up until about a week ago. Sometimes you just get thrown into the job and there’s nothing you can do about it. I’m well educated consider myself to be a pretty intellegent person, and the people I worked with were the same… S**t happens and people have to earn a living- just remember that.

  60. oh, and… ‘occam this puppy pumper’s planck’!

    *gulp*

    soup, i would like to believe that the razor isn’t actually there…

    i suggested to the missus the other day i might buy a penis pump, to which she replied, ‘entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem’.

    i just wanted to be able to slap her face with my proslogion.

  61. I am inspired. I wrote a poem. Dedicated to my poor puppy, may she rest in peace. It’s called “Man’s Best Friend”

    Cats don’t bite and they’re tight, but Scruffa don’t scratch while I’m rockin’ that snatch.

    Miss you.

  62. The great dane is too tall
    Chiwawa’s are to small
    But the dog that I like
    To quell up at night
    the dushhound is best of all
    he is longer than he’s thinner
    He love to let me in
    His eyes swell with love
    He fits like a glove
    And that’s why he’s man’s best friend!

  63. bluenails you should be ashamed of yourself. “Chiwawa”??

  64. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Chiwawa and dushhound. Lol

  65. sorry Walter is a song by Comedians (doug anthony all stars)and thats how they spelt them..
    by the way the song is called “I fuck dogs” if you couldn’t guess..
    they crack me up.

  66. ps. you’ll never be alone if you give your dog a bone…

  67. OMG! I laughed sooooooooooo hard!! And now I feel like a terrible person.

  68. Omg. POOR PUPPY! what a disgusting piece of fucktart that guy is.

  69. Fake. She seems way to smart to be telling facebook that. Ya’mean? She’s to literate. She has perfect grammar. Only stupid people post that much information on facebook.

    Anyway, sadly there are people out there that penetrate small animals. My grandma knows a man who killed 2 dogs like that.

  70. I believed it right up until the bit about Michael Vick.

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