Thursday, March 4, 2010

It’s All Relative

previous post: Gimme A Break



  1. wow. how big do they make sharpies?

  2. What is it with people with hideous faces having lip rings? Just from what we can see here Rachel looks like a real two-bagger. Seriously, if you have a face that can stop a clock, why would you want to put something shiny on it? You’d think these people would want to draw attention as far away from their faces as possible.

  3. David Cassidy is touring and signing tits now?

  4. Nevermind her hideous face, check out her norks. Spaniel ears.

  5. Wow so embarrassing if someone’s mom did that…

  6. it’s just me or her heart is drawn on the wrong spaniel ear?

    also, Nigel FTW!

  7. I think the last one posted it from her own profile since she can delete the comments. :o

  8. And the black gloves do what for you?

  9. “denunciar” means to bury in spanish. bury that comment rachel!

  10. Mikey’s mom has got it goin’ on
    She’s all I want and I’ve waited for so long
    Mikey, can’t you see you’re just not the boy for me
    I know it might be wrong but I’m in love with Mikey’s mom

  11. LOL! It took me a little while to figure out what the hell spaniel ears were…new favorite slang phrase of the day!

  12. Mikè’s mother is Susan Curd if anyone wants to see the rest of the album but unfortunately it is not at all interesting.

  13. Why is it that people still add family to Facebook?

  14. For some people it can be a positive experience. It totally depends on you and your family. I couldn’t imagine adding grandma then posting pictures of my rack. If you must post pictures of your tits or detailed stories of your sexual adventures, then I recommend against adding family.

    Some people should just avoid facebook all together. If they did though, then lamebook would be rather quiet.

  15. SomeRandomChick

    @ Sensible Madness: I have a lip ring….

  16. Please tell me “Holly would” (Hollywood?) is a joke.

  17. Lamebook – Why did you blur the ‘U’ in ‘Fucking’??

  18. I would have put maple syrup on those pancakes, not a sharpie.

  19. Damn it, thatjennchick. I was going to ask what Holly would do, but you beat me to it.


  20. @ Sensible Madness

    Forget the lip ring! She needs to wax that ‘stache and use some Chapstick.

  21. I’ve noticed Lamebook censoring the F word a lot recently. Well, censor this, Lamebook. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck…….fuck.

  22. The lip ring is to attract stoners everyone knows they are attracted to shiny things. it also distracts people from looking directly at the face they are too busy looking at the lip ring lol.

  23. I like lip rings… I think rachel looks just fine… Is she hot, no… but shes not ugly either… in fact she is cute with a lil sex appeal… Thats at least what I get from the picture… I reserve the rights to call her fugly after seeing other pics or in person

  24. Dammit croupier… I’m a stoner and I like lip rings :/

  25. Dizzy_Ballerina

    @ EmKitteh

    thanks for the info but I prefer not to stalk in real or in cyber.

  26. Rachel’s fat

  27. SomeRandomChick

    Damn there is a lot of lip ring hating going on here!

  28. Dizzy_Ballerina

    *raises hand* for the record I’m not a lip ring hater but if I will admit I do find the Prince Albert piercing (PA) a bit disturbing to think about my son’s having done to themselves *shudderz*

  29. I swear… people are so harsh on chics weight… I wouldnt call rachel fat… She looks a lot more along the chubby lines… which is fine by me… my wife is skinny, so its nice to check out some more full figured women here and there

  30. SomeRandomChick

    Yeah I wouldn’t call Rachel “fat” either, full figured sure but not fat. IDK anymore if you’re a size 10 you’re fat. I call that a womans body. Thankfully my hubby agrees. :D

  31. I agree too… plus chics with full figures, on average, give better bjs and take a pounding like a champ better than skinny gals

  32. Granted, women get a lot of grief over weight issues, but that chick is fat. Look at her arms! If she was green I’d swear this was an ad for yet another Incredible Hulk reboot. You know, except they replace radiation with pie.

  33. Ok, I have to admit that Soup has a point.

    Her arms are bigger than mine, and I’m fat. Then again, some chicks just have fat arms.

    Shake Weight FTW.

  34. bingo wings ftw!!

  35. Yeah, she’s fat. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…assuming you like being unattractive and enjoy having a high risk of heart disease and diabetes.

  36. SomeRandomChick

    @ Slimjayz – LMAO! Out of my husbands mouth Girls who are rail thin = a boy with a vagina. I wouldn’t say I’m as full figured as Rachel, but I’m a size 10 so that pretty much equates to fat by todays standards. A woman is suppose to have curves. I’m sorry but she is.

    @ Soup, I think the incredible hulk thing may be a wee bit over the top, but I would agree that a pair of ten pound weights used daily would tighten those babies up nicely. lol

  37. I’m in agreement with your husband… my brother is married to a rail and he may as well be bending over a 10 yr old boy with long hair… no chest, no hips, bleh… my wife was a size 2 but always had a little booty on her… now that she has had a couple kids she has filled out a bit and is gorgeous at a size 4… I wouldnt even mind a bit more on her… I think peole focus way too much on the weight of a gal… As long as they arent too skinny or too big then its all good

  38. @ #16 – i’ve found Holly Would (sic) on myspace. com : hollywouldband .
    Actually they have their fan page on fb as well :) .

  39. SomeRandomChick

    @SJ- Exactly!

  40. I love how nobody has anything to say about a man trying to find some chick to beat another chick’s ass, but most of you call a chick ugly at the drop of a hat. Anybody who writes off a woman because she’s fat is missing out.

    @slim – so THAT’s why I give good head and love a nice pounding…I know I make being seen with a fat chick SO worth it.

  41. Guess I need to gain some weight, you all are making me feel bad about being small :(

  42. SomeRandomChick

    @ Anna- What’s to say? If I knew who he was I’d have something to say. I can always use a hundred bucks!

    @ eenerbl- I’m sorry! Don’t feel bad!

  43. If the fox was a dude, and the grapes were a skinny chick, we would have the perfect modern fable.

    The only time I want a fat person next to me is if I’m playing tug-o-war or taking a flight over the Andes mountains.

  44. It’s ok, complex over.

  45. @SomeRandomChick, I could use a hundred bucks as well. Just tired of the instant latch on “she’s ugly.”

    @ee, I would love you no matter how big or small you are.

    @Soup, hhhhhhh. I secretly hope you end up with a skinny, beautiful, c*nt-faced b*tch who borders on bulimia to keep herself thin, expects you to support her, and treats you like shit. Wait, I guess it’s not a secret…Shallow people are ugly.

  46. I should have said anorexia. I just associate bulimia more with models. Working with teenagers, I see a little of both, all in girls I could snap in half with a thought.

    Sorry Soup, but you should rethink your philosophy. Really, man…

  47. Me too. It’s kind of a fetish. Her and I will come to your funeral in a couple of years and place a single rose on your piano crate.

  48. Thanks Anna.

    Soup, your fetishes scare me. I do however agree with you about a flight over the Andes, it’s better to be safe then sorry.

  49. Much love ee. Leaner but well-muscled would be better on the Andes flight. I’m trying to watch my cholesterol.

    Soup, wow, you’re an ass. I hope your fetishistic dreams are fulfilled, and I’ll send you a Facebook event invite for the funeral. Roses are not my favorite, but flowers is pretty. I’ve always thought that. Mmmmhmmmm.

  50. You’re ok with weighing in (Ha!) on one of my jokes, but don’t think that perhaps they’re all jokes?

  51. Facebook and family…two things that should never be mixed!

    I once had an aunt on there.I Put her on limited profile only to find that she did the same thing to me.

  52. Soup, in a country with a growing (Ha!) population of fat people where a “fat tax” is imminent, you skinny folk are becoming a minority. You better pray there’s not an obese uprising. Using a recycled joke to support fatty-bashing won’t win you any brownie points, and you do know how we fatties LOVE brownies.

  53. If my father had written that as his public status, I personally would be more than embarassed…mostly creeped out.

  54. Anna, in the range of threats I fear, I put an obese uprising somewhere between puppy kisses and a kitten that poops butterflies.

    I apologize for my joke. I was just trying to keep up with the cutting edge humor that is “fatties slob the knob better cause they’re hungry.” I just don’t have material that fresh.


  56. Oh, believe me, it’s not because we’re hungry ;)

    I hope this doesn’t run long, but…You have to understand, I had a student post on the FB that her dad told her “we all reach a certain age when we have to watch our weight, and you look like you’ve gained a few pounds.” Yeah, the girl is anorexic, she could stand to gain a few pounds. To be a sz 4, I’d have to, well, let’s face it, with my frame, I could never be a sz 4, even if I never ate again. You wouldn’t be able to fit sz 4 over my flesh-free pelvis in my “piano crate” coffin (yeah, that was a really really low blow, and not the good kind). Yup, ran long. Sorry.

    Apology accepted. And I’m sorry for overreacting. Skinny bitches have pissed me off today. All day. Literally. Pretty only goes so far sweetie…

    And you obviously haven’t heard about the kitten in Japan that does, indeed, poop butterflies…vicious, man-eating butterflies. Be very afraid.

  57. What the hell is up with the “I’m getting revenge on my heartless girlfriend” shit!?!?

  58. My first comment in this thread referenced the issues that women face regarding weight. Not that I fully understand them by any means, but I’m aware that they are there. On that note, since you mention your sensitivity to this issue (especially today), would it be acceptable for me to complain that fat bitches were pissing me off all day?

    Also, that’s twice you’ve equated skinny with pretty. Just an observation.

  59. You can complain about whatever you like, but is it true? The skinny equating with pretty stemmed from the “two-bagger” “hideous face” start of the thread, to mistaphill’s keen superpowers of observation. Your “reference” was followed by the first fat joke.

    These girls…man, if you had to deal with them as a teacher you’d understand. Thank the gods they seem to be in the minority, or this country would be more fucked than it already is.

    However, I have noticed the fat-bashing trend. You guys see fat and instantly move to ugly. You can’t even see enough of that girl’s face to tell if she’s ugly.

    And I’m fat, but with all the media messages telling me how gross and hideous I am because I’m fat, of course I equate skinny with pretty.

  60. @Dizzy_Ballerina

    As someone who works with victims of stalking to help them get restraining orders, it really bothers me that innocently looking at what another person has made public on their facebook profile, with no intention of contacting or harassing that person, has been labelled stalking.

  61. I’m small too ee, and I have a problem with bigger people. A lot of it comes from working in the health industry and seeing what obesity costs our taxpayers in terms of healthcare.
    But really, I just don’t like fat, and I don’t do fat so sue me.

  62. I know you won’t sue me ee, just anyone who doesn’t like what I said.

  63. Dizzy_Ballerina

    @ EmKitteh

    look all you want but you don’t need to post the blurred info this site as far as I understand is about the post itself not about finding out who posted it or viewing to quote you “Mikè’s mother is Susan ****** (note last name has been starred for this response post) if anyone wants to see the rest of the album..”

  64. @word, it’s okay, I’d love you too. From afar, if that’s what you prefer.

    If I’m paying for my own health insurance and paying oodles of taxes, I guess I’m paying for my own fatness. I hope I don’t count as a burden to the taxpayers. I also think the smoking will kill me before the fat does.

  65. Anna:”of course I equate skinny with pretty”

    So shouldn’t everyone else get a pass when they go from fat to ugly? It’s a snap judgment regardless of whether the assessment is positive or negative.

    I’ve noticed the fat bashing trend. I’ve also noticed that it’s ok to give skinny people shit. If we’re all supposed to see each other as equals, why does body type even get mentioned?

  66. Anna, Australia has mostly public healthcare with some private thrown in, and it’s the fatties that don’t have insurance, so unfortunately, a lot of our tax dollars go there.
    You’re right about the smoking too, but that’s another discussion.
    Love away girlfriend, I’m very lovable.

  67. Soup, I, as a fat person, am bombarded by messages that tell me that thin is pretty and fat is not. If you saw a picture of a hot chick, you would call her hot and somebody would mention their thoughts of doing her. If you saw a picture of the same person, a year earlier or later, +30-40 lbs, Sensible would call her a double bagger and you would crack a joke about how she’s Hulk if radiation were pie.

    And I don’t usually knock on skinny people, and never just because they’re skinny. It’s just some particular skinny people that I’ve been dealing with, who are more focused on being skinnier and prettier than they are on, well, learning and stuff. Also the too-skinnies who complain that they aren’t skinny enough, that kinda bothers me. Wanna say, “Yes woman, you have an ass! Let me smack it and shut up already!!”

    My quip about “you skinny folk” was a jokey-joke. I was trying to “lighten” the mood.

  68. Fat is the final frontier when it comes to political correctness.
    We have to be mindful of pretty much everything else, but I it’s still open slather on fat. It’s just the way it is, and almost all of us are guilty of fat bashing.
    As much as I’d love to continue this little chat, I gotta catch a plane.

  69. word, have a bloody good time.

  70. Me too, word, on all counts. If I hadn’t started smoking, I’d have been dead by 20. I’m at a point where, since I’ve gone on meds, even though I walk about 5 miles a day at work and drink 120+ oz of water a day and watch what I eat, I’m still a weight-gaining machine. Feels pretty fucking pathetic. I see a visit to an endocrinologist in my future, if not gastric bypass.

    The smoking…meh. I need to quit. There’s another new tax going through, not to mention the $60/month smoker surcharge I pay on my insurance. Just can’t afford it anymore. I’d kinda rather jump off a building than quit.

  71. Do you hate me Soup? I could show you a bloody good time. But not the kind mentioned in the previous (?) post…

  72. Anna, the broad up yonder is fat. I personally do not find obese women attractive. Purely my preference. I have no problem with a couple extra pounds, but the definitions have got all jumbled. Fat women have taken to a defense of “real girls have curves”. This is silly, so does and eggplant, but I’m not going to fuck it. Well, maybe I would, but the general male population would not. Ultimately, there’s a difference between carrying some extra weight, and obese.

    I got the “you skinny folk” joke, but you also mention the skinny bitches that were pissing you off. By your reasoning, any time I see a heavy person eating something less than healthy, then it’s open season on the fatty bashing?

    All I’m saying is you can’t have it both ways. If one is off limits, then so is the other.

  73. Of course I don’t hate you. Discussion is good. And if you’ve seen me post at all, you would realize that everyone is fair game. I don’t discriminate. I’m just trying to make people laugh. If I manage to offend as well, well, that’s a bonus.

    To which previous post are you referring?

  74. Oh, I definitely know the difference between having curves and being obese. I know what I am, my curves have curves. And possibly their curves have curves. You don’t have to be attracted to it, but thank the gods some people are. Fat chicks are, so I’ve been told, “built for comfort, not for speed” and “like a moped: fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.”

    Pardon me, then, let me amend my previous claim. Rude, insolent, ignorant, insubordinate bitches who also happen to be skinny but never skinny enough and pretty but never pretty enough have been pissing me off all day. And not because they are skinny or pretty, though it is fodder for the rudeness, insolence, ignorance, and insubordinance, since their appearance, both aesthetic and social, is what they are focusing on when they should be learning. Or, in two cases, teaching.

    And I’ll never mention skinny again if you’ll never knock fat again.

  75. Thanks Soup, thought you were really pissed. Um, the “bloody” one. I don’t mind a mess, but I’d rather my love nest not look like a massacre took place there. Maybe in the shower though…The end of the period leaves me ragingly horny.

    By the by, I’m usually the first to knock my own fatness. The “not wanting to be next to one” really hurt though. I know it shouldn’t. I don’t even get made fun of for being fat, and I work with teenagers. I guess, in my case, personality wins over fat.

  76. Wow, I just realized how much my kids must really like me, since I am an easy target for a fat joke.

  77. I’d never sue you word.

    This conversation has gotten kinda interesting. I think it’s odd how people view skinny people the way they do. I’ve very skinny, I’m a size 1, weigh less then 100 lbs and I’m 5 feet. I’m as tiny as they get, but not by my own choice, but by genetics. People see me and assume I have a weight issue, and that pisses me off. When someone see my parents their light bulb goes off. Not all small people have weight issues, other then me who would kill to have some more of it. OK, I’m done, sorry.

  78. Don’t apologize word, I understand the issue with keeping weight on as well, just not from experience.

    With my kids, I’m talking about honest-to-god eating disorders. Sad really. They’re so beautiful and they don’t even know it.

  79. Except the ones who are excessively aware of it. Narcissism is not cute on anyone.

  80. @Dizzy_Ballerina

    I was just pointing out how poorly lamebook had protected her identity, since I was able to find out her surname in a matter of seconds.

  81. Nah, I don’t get mad over internet stuff. It’s essentially impossible to offend me. I wasn’t sure if you had kept up with word’s vaginal issues, so I needed to be sure of what you were offering.

    Personality counts for a lot. Again, I was going for the joke. I mean really, even throwing cannibalism into the mix, who wants to sit next to a fat person on a plane?

    As for not mentioning fat, I never had an issue. I was just trying to point out the hypocrisy in what you were saying. As you mentioned earlier, I really am an ass.

  82. I wasn’t barking on people with weight issues, and I completely with you with people seeing their beauty, and they should. I was just agreeing with you in a weird sorta way. Small people get the lashing that bigger people get, just in the opposite way. If we’d been perfect we’d be 5 feet 6 inches and wear a size 6. Unfortunately, that’s just not reality.

  83. I got you word. I saw what you were saying. :)

    Soup, it can be okay to sit next to a fat person on a plane if you’re skinny enough to balance it out. Works the same way with sex, even if you’re not into it. I mean, I wouldn’t want to sit next to a fat person in a plane, but that would be like trying to fit two sz 12 shoes in a sz 8 shoe box. Not at all comfy. If you sat next to me on a plane, we’d be shoulder to shoulder, and I’d be oh-so-snuggly. You’d manage a great nap at the very least, but I bet I’m entertaining enough that you’d want to stay awake. Fat people compensate for their fatness with personality and good head (though not on a plane; you know I’d never be able to fit between your legs and the seat). And yes, you are an ass, but I’d give you a shot. I’m crazy, but you already know that. I’m really not a bitch most of the time. This year has been…hard…the meds don’t seem to be enough to balance me out.

  84. I can see exactly how that plane ride would go:

    Soup: Excuse me, I have the window seat.
    Anna: Oh, sure. No problem.
    *shuffle shuffle shuffle*
    Anna: Hi there, I’m Anna.
    Soup: Howdy, I’m Soup.
    In unison: Hey, you’re from Lamebook! Ha ha ha.
    *random discussions about the meaning of life and the pursuit of happiness*
    *Awkward attempt at oral that ultimately fails*
    Soup: Hey Anna, I hope you don’t mind, but I’m really tired.
    Anna: Oh by all means, take a nap. You can even use me as a pillow. I remember that I offered.
    Soup: Thanks.
    *Soup sleeps*
    *Soup groggily waking up*
    Anna: ….Yes, Air Marshall. This is the guy who sexually harassed me.
    *Soup hauled away in cuffs*
    Anna: That’s what you get for making fat jokes you son of a bitch!
    *Soup goes to airport jail to get raped by terrorists*

  85. I may be a crazy bitch, but one thing I am not is vengeful. I’ve said my piece, and now I’m smoking a bowl. I’m really more of an angry-letter kind of girl, not a fuck-up-your-entire-life kind of girl.

    And I really am snuggly, and not in a fits-only-in-a-piano-crate kind of way.

    And of course the oral would fail. But I was born with two hands. 7 fingers each.

    The prison rape turned me on. I bet that says a lot about me.

  86. I laughed though. Thanks for the scenario.

  87. I also heard the “Oh by all means, take a nap. You can even use me as a pillow. I remember that I offered” in Cartman’s voice as he is describing his own scenario as it didn’t actually happen but as he wants to remember it. Not sure what that means, but it probably says something about me as well.

  88. I like big butts and I cannot lie.

  89. Anna, and #84 is why I love me some soup. He may be an ass at times, but the man is funny!

  90. Aye, that he is. That he is.

    And I hope you’re not in bed. I totally referred to you as word, think your previous post threw me off. But I’d hate to think I called you the wrong name in bed.

    It’s late.

  91. Nope, not in bed, although I should be. I’m doing what I do best… reading a book! No harm no foul with the name.

  92. Thanks. I have to force myself to go to bed, at least for sleeping. Love to sleep, hate going to bed. Must. Make it. Happen. Though.


  93. after readingn all of these comments… i can’t even remember wat teh pic was about .. and i’m too lazy to scroll up.. just thought i’d put my input.

  94. Mike’s mum is a slut and Rachel’s boobs are like spaniels ears.

  95. Mike’s mum ftw! . aa’hahaha

  96. Spaniel ears lol , i have a cocker spaniel and from now on i will never be able to look at him the same way.

  97. I can’t believe no one has commented on how ridiculous Melaeni’s name is! Were her parents drunk when they were spelling it?

  98. Hey Anna. I love a big girl. Get in touch.

  99. lol

  100. @hegwah, FB, think crazy fiddling Roman emperor in GA

  101. LARP?

  102. This whole fat vs. skinny debate is ridiculous whenever it pops up. I don’t quite understand it. The media seems to go out of their way to point out when a celebrity is gaining weight, even when it does NOTHING to their overall appearance. We’re being constantly bombarded with images, men and women, of how we SHOULD look. Hell, the standard of beauty has always been subject to change. There’s hardly a standard, the media promotes an idea that may be POPULAR with the masses right now, but it’s hardly a standard of anything. I recall a magazine (sorry for not remembering the name) that did a photo shoot with more full-figured women. The modeling industry balked at it, but their readers were very impressed as they were sick of seeing the industry norm.

    It may seem like the current standard is what everyone wants, but the media is only a very vocal minority. I like a woman who’s comfortable in her own skin. I like a woman who doesn’t need to worry about her appearance so much, more substance than style. Granted it’s as much of a problem to care too little. I don’t know what the fuss is about. People come in many forms, that’s what makes the world so interesting. There’s no one way people should be, I only care that they’re comfortable with how they are. And if they aren’t, I hope they change on their own terms.

    I apologize for the rant, I know that’s BritishHobo’s thing. I just have certain… triggers.

  103. @Soup, you’re on the right track, minus the actual LARP.

  104. Soup, all jokes aside, put me in your plane ride scenario and I’ll say right now that you would not want to sleep, and I wouldn’t be crying foul of your attentions.

  105. @93 Pouty_Lips I felt the same way, so thank you very much #94 Ben.

    And Soup, like you said, if Anna’s ever read any of your other Lamebook comments she’d know you don’t discriminate. I love an equal opportinity offender :)

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