Monday, August 10, 2009

I’m Enraged!!!

Lamester

machine-gun-wedding

Ohh to be a fly on the wall in this bedroom. I can only imagine the conversation these two love birds shared. “Hey, Cara?” Jebediah quietly whispers to his soon to be dashing young bride. “Yes, honey? What is it you want from me?” Cara replies, putting her clothes on. “I know we just met two hours ago at Uncle Billy’s Bar & Shrimp Shack but…”  ”What is it sweetie?” Cara asks, reaching under the bed for her cellphone. “Well, baby, I just wanna say…will you marry me?” Jebediah asks, dropping to one knee. “Well HELL YEAH I’ll marry you, sweetie! Let me get my camera so we can tell everyone on Facebook!” Cara squeals. “SWEET! Take my picture with the one thing I love most in this world, baby” Jebediah shouts digging through his bedroom closet. “Wait a minute, sweetie…say what?”

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47 Comments

  1. good lord.

    there are no words.

  2. It took a moment to process. I thought it was lamer when I thought “Cara” was the guy in the picture. Still…weird picture to choose of your fiance.

  3. I guess he really doesn’t like doors.

  4. If he fired that gun right now, he would rupture his gut. FYI.

  5. that’s a gun? i thought it was his cock

  6. Both she and he wish it was that big…

  7. They bought that couch because its cushions make a totally bitchin’ instant sandbag fort “for erotic play”.

  8. least its not loaded

  9. Is that supposed to be a cadaver under that sheet in the foreground?

  10. Aq mau krm 4to

  11. nice gun

  12. Glad It's Not Me

    Enjoy your redneck life together.

  13. “America.. F*ck YEAH!” should be your wedding song, Texas couple! (Semi-automatic machine guns are still legal there while outlawed in pretty much any other US state, no?)

  14. Hopefully the safety isn’t “engaged” when he points that at himself…

  15. I’m engorged!

  16. I guess a shotgun works instead of good old “Damn” or “Darn” or “Dangit” I’m gonna marry that bitch!!!!

  17. what the chickens

    wow. what a redneck. im all for guns, but you really dont need to be doing this.

  18. Am I the only one here who thought of “I call it Vera” ?

  19. I’m sure he’s not overcompensating.

  20. Strange how his mouth is in the shape of an o…. Creepy.

  21. I’m enraged…I know there’s no mag in it but TRIGGER GODDAMN DISCIPLINE!!!

  22. Methinks this is some sort of visual metaphor for premature ejaculation. Or perhaps a Viagra endorsement.

    Or both?

  23. Is he shouting, “This is my rifle, this is my gun”?

  24. Well of course she said yes. HE POINTED A GUN AT HER.

  25. Good point, Cassie. I think we’re supposed to read the “im engaged!!” with a note of panic.

  26. Just though I’d point out that there is no magazine in the gun and he most likely doesn’t have a bullet in the chamber so no worries. Sarcasticmeow, almost every state in the U.S. it is legal to own a semi auto rifle as long as you are 18.

  27. Also, semi-automatic machine gun is an oxymoron. A machine gun is illegal in every state without the right permits.

  28. Look at his haircut and physical condition. He’s a soldier and that’s an Army issue m-4. The comments are 10x more lame than this picture.

    @mike
    M-4 does not have enough recoil to bust your gut. I can understand how you could screw that up if your experience with weapons is restricted to counter strike…

  29. Army/Marines… whatever.

  30. OMFG all the gun fucktards are showing up! There must be some zombies around here…

  31. Definition of a loser, defined.

  32. Retard: Look at the globe and anchor on the magazine well, moron.

  33. This is my rifle….

  34. Sweet M4

  35. “Engaged” can mean something else, though. In regards to the military, he could be engaged in Iraq or whatnot, or on a military engagement somewhere. Still a wacky picture.

  36. I doubt that’s an issued M4, the barrel profile and length is wrong. Also it looks like he’s got a vltor modstock…I don’t think they issue those…?

  37. It’s an M16. You’re welcome.

  38. It’s an AR15. Nice try, guys.

  39. that’s an AR-15 of some type. even if he was a soldier, he wouldn’t have an issued weapon in his home. those stay in the arms room…

  40. He looks like someone I know. It’s totally an airsoft or paintball gun he tries to feel like a big man with.
    Sideburns say he probably isn’t active duty military

  41. @stella
    so what? just because you’re in the military doesn’t mean they give you a gun to take home with you. besides, civilians can buy all the same weapons the military uses with the only exception that they are semi automatic rather than automatic. and that is not something you can tell from a glance like in this picture.
    just saying though. it still could be an airsoft gun, i know several people who have ones justl ike that. the dude is a tool either way.

  42. The comments on here make me angrier than the original posts.

  43. Why is this photo in an album called “I’m engaged”? Is this what Americans are doing now instead of engagement rings, exchanging guns?

  44. ….reminds me of Smooth Criminal….

  45. lamebook people are pretty stupid. He means “he’s engaged”…get it? Like his penis being all way, but with a gun…damn you guys are idiots.

  46. @Bryan4Phins

    The album was posted by “Cara.” One can (most likely) assume that’s a female which (possibly) makes the man in the photo her fiance. Unless you personally know “Cara” you can’t say for certain whether or not your theory is correct.

  47. Overcompensation.

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