Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I Now Pronounce You Addicted to Facebook

previous post: Pants On Fire

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123 Comments

  1. Are you fucking kidding me?

  2. The shark, he has been jumped.

  3. OH HELL NO! I don’t care if he did it for a “joke”. That’s just retarded.

  4. I would ask for a divorce right there.

  5. SERIOUSLY?

  6. The Scarlet Pimple

    hahahaha, I’m a sad, stupid fuck who lives for the Internet. HAHAHAHA!

  7. I want to kill them.

  8. He’s short, fat, balding, ugly, prob has a small dick and his wife is about a 5 on a scale of 1-10.

    Not surprised that Facebook is the highlight of his life.

    Oh, and Mashable had this video 2 days ago Lamebook.

  9. I was sad to have left my home country and felt a little like a low life… But boy I tell you there are some real pathetic people out there…. What a dumb bitch, I wouldn’t go through with that wankers half baked stoner Idea… And that stupid grin he was pulling… Sad, and I dont know who I feel sorry for…. I bet they related!!!

  10. It’s official . . . . . .I’ll never get blown again . . . . .by a girl.

  11. I find myself wanting to stab them in the eyes.

  12. J-man got it spot on with one word.

    Wanker.

  13. Unless I’m missing a level of humour here, you lot are the losers, not this pair.

    The audience like it, the couple like it (it doesn’t reflect badly on the guy, she’s clearly in on it!)… ffs. Raining on a parade is one thing but pissing on a wedding?

  14. He did it to be funny and I guess it kind of was, but still, I can’t stand those people who feel the need to make a joke at EVERY SINGLE opportunity. It really gets annoying.

  15. comeonnn, it was just for a joke and it was clearly planned. the loser is whoever took the video and posted it up online for people to see it. they probably just did it to entertain their friends and families kidding around.

    stab then in the eyes, sef? really? you might want to see someone, maybe an anger management therapist?

  16. I now pronounce you a complete and utter douchebag..

  17. ouch, nevermind. the video title is def “at my wedding..” whooops.

    okay, maybe they are losers :) but still. i found it amusing!

  18. I really, really hate statement weddings.
    This post is making me realize what a hater I am.

    All those lame people who have to parasail to their nuptials, or get married underwater. It’s just for the bragging rights for years to come. A stupid 15-minutes-of-fame grab.

    For the record, if you’re going to get married on the beach, will ya ditch the tux and gown already? You look dumb!

    These goofballs texting during their wedding should be marrying the people they’re writing to, because that’s obviously the better relationship.

    BUH! I can’t take it anymore. I’m going to FB to write a sad, lonely status and leave my gaming system to cumdog.

  19. @ Sharkface, picture how a little girls mind works up to this big day… Prince charming, big church wedding, surrounded by loved ones then finally that kiss to finalize the current events, *No wait my low life husband interupted it to prove he has a sense of humor*

    PS: Sorry Dad my dip shit new husband made a huge joke at your little princess’s weddind, oh and thanks for paying for everything….

    All things considered he is a wanker!

  20. Joke-y weddings suck

  21. I think she’s in on the joke.

    If she’s not, she’s the idiot. If he’s so obsessed with facebook that he couldn’t kiss her before updating his status, then ffs, she would have known that before the wedding. And not married him

  22. Thats why my honest aproach is that relatives shouldn’t get married… They should check first!! She was clearly in on it and is why I also feel sorry for his future… It doesn’t look promising…

    Was a great laugh though….

  23. thats fucking hilarious…

  24. Anita, you most certainly are a hater.

    Isn’t a wedding supposed to be ‘their day’? So why can’t they do what the fuck they want?

    I find traditional church weddings boring to be in and boring to watch. If someone wants to have a bit of fun, go for it.

    And it’s surprising how many people missed him giving her a phone to update as well.

  25. Nobody missed it, brave assumption!

  26. Then why is everyone going on that he’s such a douche? She’s doing the same thing and she certainly didn’t look upset during any of it.

  27. See, I think that was quite amusing. It made people laugh, it was unexpected and honestly, this is the sort of memorable-funny-lame. Not the lame-lame.

    I hope I do something geeky/funny-lame during an occassion like this. It’d make the day feel less like a strict ritual where everything has to be perfect and more like a day that I get to make my own.

    5/5 for making me giggle.

  28. I’ve been seeking help for some time now. They think i’m halfway there – visualising and doing are completely seperate thoughts now! :D

  29. I’ve changed my mind.

    I think she’s a Jew.

  30. “She was clearly in on it and is why I also feel sorry for his future… It doesn’t look promising…” I made 2 comments to say she is equally fucked up…. Its no big deal really, I dont know them… But as lame book allows me to have an opinion I would like to voice that these 2 wankers we saw on the vidio are probably related, and possibly their dad holding the camera! I hope its clear now that I think both of them are skrewd!

  31. *video

  32. HAHAHAHA, how do you work that out Sharkface?

  33. duuuuude it’s my right to have an opinion

    but, you can just tell

    flashy wedding

  34. Wow, and I thought I was addicted to Facebook.

  35. It’s lame and it’s on lamebook cuz it’s lame.

    “Ring piece” I’m still laughing.

  36. douche couple…

  37. @ Chiro #25

    I’m no fan of churches either. Don’t mistake me for a traditionalist.

    You’re damned right they can do what they want.
    They can also not bother to invite me to their douchey poser moments. Then I can not bother to shell out for a new douchey dress (apparently looking better than the bride is a big no-no) and a big douchey present for them.

    I look forward to many douchey FB moments from couples like these.

    I am soooooo definitely a hater

    DOUCHES!

  38. wow. I can’t believe this actually made it on lamebook!…and that there are such lame comments.
    I personally think that the guy seems to have a sense of humor. he’s just joking around. I seriously doubt that facebook is taking over his life that much.

  39. I was out at a bar once, and watched in horror as some dude grinded himself into a chic’s rear on the dance floor…WHILE he was on Myspace. I lost about $30 worth of beer after witnessing this.

    Now, thanks to this wedding clip, I have lost my dinner, my beer, and all my faith in humanity…

  40. Of course it’s a joke. Anyone can click to see the video on youtube and read the description. Still, I am also a hater. Not funny, totally lame.

  41. Apparently she was not in on it.
    From the youtube page: “I surprised not only my guests, but also Tracy by pulling out my phone and posting on Facebook and Twitter from the altar during out wedding.
    I had her phone ready in my pocket, so when she asked for it I could hand it to her. No one knew about this except the minister, and myself.”

    So I guess Tracy’s got a pretty good sense of humour. I suspect she’s going to need it.
    The twitter update: http://twitter.com/TheSoftwareJedi/status/5925126890

    If nothing else, I’m quite impressed with how quick he txts . . .

  42. Lame. People who aren’t funny should not attempt to be funny because this is how it turns out.

  43. Well duh! It would have been totally presumptuous of them to update their relationship status BEFORE they were married. God and/or Jesus would get mad.

    And in any case – I think it’s perfectly acceptable what they did, even if the joke was lame to the lame-nth power. The world needs individuals, or we’d all be boring automatons with a penchant for girls with French accents and A-cup titties.

  44. Haha! I think this is lame but actually pretty amusing. What’s even funnier is how worked up everyone’s getting over it. There’s nothing wrong with having a little fun at your own wedding, it doesn’t have to be the serious, traditional affair some folks make out of it. I sure as hell don’t want mine to be that boring.

    @posters 1-6, 8, 9, 17, 19, 20, etc… does it hurt walking around with a stick in your ass? Shit. Lighten up.

  45. Sorry everyone, but I can’t let go of this.

    “Individuals”???!???

    Explain to me how this is, in ANY WAY the act of an original mind???

  46. @ mittens

    he hijacked his bride- not cool

  47. Someday they’re going to fight and she’s going to say “why the fuck did you make me go along with the wedding ‘update facebook’ thing? It was supposed to be our day! Not a fucking joke! God, can’t you take anything seriously? Why the fuck did I marry you?!” You know she will. Because even if she was ok with it at the time women like throwing that shit in your face when you’re fighting.

  48. I’d do the same thing.
    Or anything to avoid
    Looking at that cow.

  49. It’s funny how you are getting worked up about other people getting worked up. Nothing wrong with doing whatever you want at your wedding, I can still think it’s lame.

  50. @AnonymousBastard: True that!

    Ah, MrHaiku! I enjoy reading your haiku.

  51. @Anitalaff- I see what you’re saying, but she obviously went along with it. She could’ve gotten upset, sure didn’t look like she did. I suppose I wouldn’t be incredibly thrilled if my husband did that, but I wouldn’t get super worked up about it, either. Life’s too short.

  52. Anitalaff, you have an incredibly ironic username if this upsets you so much.

    @ Mr Haiku: IT are getting pretty pissed with all the keyboards and monitors I spray with coffee and ruin, but I don’t mind because fuck those guys. Keep up the good work.

  53. also, @Name- I’m really not worked up. I just think some of you are being a bit harsh, that’s all. You’re allowed to think it’s lame, I’m also allowed to think you’re lame for thinking it’s lame :)

  54. I thought this was hilarious.
    I actually laughed, not something I would do during my wedding but I thought it was cute.
    :D
    They obviously have a good relationship if they can make a joke interrupting their wedding.
    Not many people do that. :)
    Some of you people need to get that stick out of your ass.
    ;)

  55. eh, it got some laughs, good timing. maybe if you want your wedding to be perfect it’s not something you’d want to do but it’d be a good story to tell. gotta have a sense of humour folks

  56. Sure, she might not have looked upset right then, but this guy probably became the first guy in history to not get laid on his wedding night.

    Doing this when you’re both in on it is kind of retarded, but doing it without consulting the bride first is the height of douchery.

  57. WOW. they clearly did this for the fame and are brilliant for it. love it.

  58. just boring

  59. The Scarlet Pimple

    What a crazy, navel-gazing discussion this has spawned.

  60. Well duh! It’s not official until it’s posted on FB.

  61. I think it was kind of funny and kind of sweet. The man just wanted to shout it from the roof tops that he married his love.

    When hubby and I got married 2 decades ago I would not have cared if he wanted to have dancing bears there. All that mattered to him or I was that we were marrying each other. I still kind of blush when I remember the last officer at the end of the row smacking my tush with his saber, but thats an Army officer tradition…. one that started much like this.

  62. @ Sensible Madness – completely agree. Obviously she’s not gonna have a do in the middle of her wedding, but the fact that she smiles politely and goes along with it doesn’t mean it’s how she wanted the big day to go. If it had been planned between the two of them it would’ve been lame and not very funny, but I could understand how some people would think it was a good joke. As it is, if I were her I would NOT be impressed.

  63. The comments are lamer than the post. Seriously, can anyone else remember when we had interesting insults and interesting comments. People used to be smart on this site… Now we have a massive overuse of “douche”, people using insults and analysis comes in at second. Lamebook, you’re getting lame.

  64. @60 ya got that right

  65. ooo this hurts!!! it hurts so much more than being fisted without lube!

  66. (#64) Finn is in a spin.
    He would like some more anal-
    ysis on lamebook.

  67. I’m with pugged on this one…

  68. [...] (source: Lamebook) [...]

  69. Groom:”Gonna have to tell people ’bout this new victory. Here bride, take this device here and accept my status update.”

    Twats…

  70. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    @ Mr Haiku – I poxy love you!

    As for the video – of course it’s fucking lame, people. The guy’s getting married and he turns it into some stand-up routine at some pissy little amateur night in a local comedy club. We don’t see the audience so there’s no point in saying ‘oh, but the audience found it funny’. It sounds like there’s about 100 people there, and they probably only have sixteen toes between them. And there’s no point in saying ‘oh, but the bride goes along with it’. She didn’t know about it, she was put on the spot, she was standing in front of x amount of retards: of course she went along with it!

    Me, I would have thrown the phone in his face and kissed the vicar.

    Cox is right – twats.

  71. must be frustrating for the frustrated men of this world , if even a utter twat like that can get some …

    Isn’t romance great

  72. Oh god lamebook comments are turning into youtube style comments, so much anger ;_;

  73. maybe he just wanted to check up on farmville ?

  74. Obviously these two asswipes were attempting to be funny/cute (failing miserably btw), but that is some of the gayest shit I have ever seen.

    What a couple of cuntbags. Fucking pathetic cuntbags.

  75. @ ayanamirei

    You’re right, they really are! I remember when i first found this website the comments were the best bit about it. They were really genuinely funny. Now, they are so angry and just jumping down eachothers throats at the slightest opportunity. Lame,Lamebook.

  76. I don’t see why everyone is so concerned with other people’s weddings. As long as the couple enjoys it, who gives a shit if YOU think it’s lame or dorky or whatever? Isn’t their enjoyment of their special day the important thing? Jesus. People are so judgmental on here. Ayanamirei and kathleen are right – people on here have become so fucking bitter it’s just sad. To clarify, there’s snark with genuine humour behind it, which is how this site used to be and which I love, and then there’s just petulant crankiness.

    Honestly, I feel bad for you people.

  77. pitch master porn

    suck it

  78. Michelle , as a human being i agree but on the other hand as a cyber version of myself i find it a bit strange to take the moral high ground on a site that was built to make fun of people , preferably stupid people posting stupid stuff

    And we have seen this discussion over and over again , why comment on people that are commenting, why do you give a shit if people think it’s lame ?

    It’s a vicious circle …

  79. I’m over it now

    Still, Anitalaff

  80. Thank you Father Sha. Also, I think most people who have posted “angry comments” aren’t actually angry/ worked up. I sure as hell wasn’t. I just like sounding like a serious douche on the internet. :D

  81. I applaud these people. It was their day, it was a joke that the three planned (i assume from the Priests reactions), the joke was unoriginal, made the wedding slightly more bearable, no-one was hurt and many people had a laugh.
    Updating my facebook status or being sodomised by a double barrel shotgun? Facebook it is!

  82. If my husband did this when we were getting married I would have punched him in the throat. But after getting a peek at the bride she must just be happy to be getting married to someone/anyone.

  83. I cant see this :( It upsets me greatly

  84. It did the same to me and I saw it. Just google “Loser texts/acts like a asshole at wedding.”

  85. i hate her dress

  86. Insane..that is not a priest…they wear those weird collars

  87. >74 Father Sha
    Fuck, you got me. soda came out my nose. You know how it is, if you aren’t right on those crops… Money WASTED

  88. I come here to see status updates not video’s.
    LAME

  89. I just can’t see this picture/post :/ I have been trying since yesterday to open it but no chance.
    Can someone please tell me what this is all about?

  90. kiwi try this

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSkT5XykJzo

    that should make things a bit clearer

  91. i feel like i want to punch their future children in the stomachs

  92. Cheers Father Sha :D
    Though I kinda regret asking :/ definitely the lamest post so far.

  93. The husband reminds me of Terry from ‘Reno 911.’

  94. Damn Tucan Sam!!

  95. The groom’s name is Dana Hanna – you could sing that to the Batman TV show theme, while stabbing his parents.
    Dana Hanna, Dana Hanna, Dana Hanna, Dana Hanna, FAT MAN!

  96. Nah, this was done knowingly enough not to be lame.

  97. @Brie, are you also a hippi?

  98. Have people forgotten what this site is about? It is to allow us to snigger at all the idiots out there who are keen to broadcast their stupidity.

    We all snigger at the idiots around us in real life, as it is human programming to do so. Lamebook brings us soooo many more new mutants to make us smile.

    The sad sack of shit who is getting married here is a perfect example. He thinks he is being funny, but in actual fact he has revealed what a lame tosspot he is. Not only does he have a p a e d o p h i l e ’ s beard and a shaved monkey for a wife, but he has lost all dignity at what should be the most dignified moment of his life.

    If people want to personalise other elements of their ceremony, that is kewl, but this muppet has embarrassed himself in a big way, as well as his guests by the sound of their ‘laughter’.

    Do people REALLY think this site is here for us to heap praise on the protagonists of the clips featured?

  99. that is my pastor Luke here at Mountain Christian Church. he is a ordained minister and very funny

  100. “Pastor Luke” just agreed in secret with the groom to ambush and embarrass the bride in front of all her friends and family.

    I’d call that a whole PASTOR PILE of disrespect. Mr. Funny Pastor should get his head checked.

  101. i talked to him and he did not not know that was going to happen. he is going to be on fox and friends tomorrow morning as well talking about it. p.s. the couple are happy and i don’t understand how this joke makes him a bad person?

  102. justme: Ok thanks. I don’t know what he is. This maybe due to the fact i have no respect for religion or it’s followers. So me calling him a priest was just another part of the negligence towards religion i like to show :)

  103. So he updated his relationship status from “single fuckin nob head” to “married”. No big deal.

  104. Well… I think it’s cute.

  105. i don’t know why everyone is fisting the groom, the dumb cunt right next to him is doing the same thing!

  106. The doosh guy’s Facebook status in a months time “Hey im watching Twilight in the cinemas with the missus and im looooooving it. The blowjpb the missus is giving is ok. From Edward would be better”.

  107. holy crap you guys are hostile. It’s a little lame, but those of you trying to come up with a slew of creative insults are a lot lamer.

  108. First off, half of the children posting idiotic comments on here come off very “lame”, second off I would like to see everything they have posted or said scrutinized on a website, I’m sure there is plenty of material there. Third these people are getting married, judge them or don’t but you’re honestly wasting your lives writing insults about someone’s wedding ceremony, you can’t be much better. And if you want to comment on my comment then feel free, I’m sure you have nothing better to do anyways. I know I don’t, which is why im wasting time looking at this website because I wanted to see the odd things people are posting on facebook.

  109. @figaro54 If you can’t handle the stuff being posted on this site and people making fun of it then SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET THE FUCK OFF!! People like you are such a buzz kill, I can’t imagine you have many friends. Go die!!!

  110. FlapjacksAreAmazing

    I kinda enjoyed it. At first I thought it was going to be lame, but as long as everyone there enjoyed it, then why the hell not…?

  111. I second Fistaculars’ motion!

  112. Fist! Fist! Fist!

  113. Let’s try to go viral!

  114. Let’s try to go viral! LAME

  115. lmao thats funny!

  116. I expected to hate these people but somehow found the little joke amusing. That said,

    @chiiro: Church weddings are “boring to be in and boring to watch”, eh? It’s people like you who’ve twisted the rite of marriage into a unrecognizable three-ring circus. Do you even know what getting married means??? If you want entertainment, hop on down to Vegas and catch a show. I’m glad anyone who might have invited you to their wedding because they assumed you CARE has been forewarned by your post.

  117. it’s obviously a joke, and i think it’s really cute.

  118. That is superb. More people need to have a sense of humour like those two

  119. The fact that he was also carrying a phone for his wife was sweet ^-^;

  120. Pathetic.

  121. watching this video, my immediate thought was that it was a joke…all planned out. Remember the wedding entrance to that hip hop song that is one of the top most viewed videos of all time? Well, this is obviously along the lines of that. Not as clever-but funny.

  122. John Players Standard

    Goddamn seriously hate people…

  123. I think it’s kind of funny because they were both in on it, but this will come back to bite him in the ass if they ever divorce

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