So what we can gather from this, is that they are both “glade” and “mean it from the heart”. They are also both babies (their words not mine) who are about as obsessed with facebook as they are with each other. The question is, have they even met?…
I guess when it says “Pure Heart” it must mean one which hasn’t been tainted by the wear and tear of beating at normal human rates (60-80bpm; as low as 30bpm in well-conditioned athletes). In order to obtain such a heart, I imagine one would need to capture a baby, immobilize it, and keep it on a strict regimen of heart rate-reducing medication. In order to keep the baby from becoming distressed (which would raise its heart rate), it would potentially be necessary to keep it unconscious.
In other words, Mark is a monster. Run, Elizabeth! Get away before it’s too late!
@ Anitalaff: It totally will. People that are this fucking lame when they are dating always eventually flame out. And its epic when it happens. I hope to see the break up posted on here, hopefully soon. When I started dating my husband we never bothered with this sissy shit. We started out with thinly veiled hostility then on to open. And then we dabbled with casual violence. Nothing too major. Nothing that left bruises. And then calling each other out to the yard to handle to settle things now and again. And here we are married 7 years and 2 kids later. Now that the kids are here its more frosty silences and slow poisoning.
Don’t get MADE, get GLADE!!!
Really, it’s as if they inhaled too much of a Glade air freshener and feel the need to rave about Glade’s effectiveness on depleting their brain cells. Oh wait, that wouldn’t work because they have no brain cells to begin with!
“My shinning star who is an angel.” What does that even mean? Come up with a real compliment for fuck’s sake. I wish guys understood that gushing over their girlfriends like this makes them sound like giant blubbering vaginas.
Mark, you should really ask Elizabeth to give your balls back, you need them.
“You’re always on my mind and I mean that from my heart”?!?! This pair is definitely on my gag reflex, and I mean that from the bottom of my gallbladder.
Also, it appears from things that they have already had an amicable breakup. I figured this was the case from Elizabeth calling him “an amazing friend”, and Mark’s second to last post clinches it. I’d be willing to bet she broke it off gently with him, but he is desperately holding onto the hope that he will win her back.
Mark is the fat nerdy kid who has loved Elizabeth since the first grade. He has her pictures all over his wall, and he regularly writes truly awful poetry about how they were meant to be together and how much he loves her. He’s the one who’s permanently in the “friend zone”, does all of her homework for her, makes her lame handmade valentines cards, and cries himself to sleep at night thinking about her. He’s the one who’s always there as a shoulder to cry on when she has a nasty breakup, and he’s the one who sits by the phone for hours trying to work up the nerve to ask her to prom while she’s out getting gangbanged by the football team.
There are only two ways this can end: Either he moves on to college before he figures out what’s really going on and finds some drunk slut at a frat party he sneaks in to and loses his virginity, thus ending the obsession, or the cops find him one night in Elizabeth’s bed wearing her skin as a coat.
@ Sensible Madness: “There are only two ways this can end: Either he moves on to college before he figures out what’s really going on and finds some drunk slut at a frat party he sneaks in to and loses his virginity, thus ending the obsession, or the cops find him one night in Elizabeth’s bed wearing her skin as a coat.”\
Dude where is your medal? You deserve one after that!!!
I once saw a movie where a man was kidnapped and held in a coffin with a walkie-talkie, and on the other end the kidnapper held the guy’s wife hostage. So he let the couple say they love each other, then said “That’s sweet, but I have diabetes.”
He needs some balls. And she needs a brain. Maybe in this scenario he is lacking balls because she is using them as her brain? The only logical explanation as to why she is so fucking retarded and why he is such a pussy.