Friday, January 8, 2010

Have You Ever Wanted a Period So Bad?


previous post: Mrs. Oh! Connor



  1. first (again)?

  2. i think i stopped reading after “and your stuck here with 1,000,000,000 ideas”

  3. lostintranslation

    God damn it, “you are” = “you’re”, not “your”!!! Why can’t people get this??

    Oh wait… what should I expect from someone who wants to be called “buttercup”?

  4. This sounds like the plot to roughly 98% of the romantic comedies that have ever been made…

  5. Translation:

    “I’m a slut to most guys, but a cocktease to the one I actually like.”

    At least, that’s what I think it said. My brain started to melt after the third line, so I had to just skim it after that.

  6. What happened to the first guy??? God, I’m tortured now.

  7. So I read the first sentence. (Well, actually not the first sentence because apparently the entire post was one big sentence)…I got past the first line. Stopped reading, then skipped down to the last line.

    All I can remember is….

  8. For the love of god woman, some full stops/periods, please….

  9. Hmm. Bad use of the word period.

  10. what’s with this obsession for first posts? Surely it’s the quality of your post that matters, not whether you were first or not, or am I missing something?


  12. I just tried to read every sentence in one breath. Result: Don’t try it!

  13. Teenagers should have to pass a test to use the internet.

  14. How is it possible that people write like this? Ugh…

  15. Antarctic Circle

    We’re also sorry you just had to type, girl.

    (Somebody dug deep for this submission, seeing it ‘s over 3 years old..)

  16. agent cooper, i agree.

  17. Oh I totally understand girl… Except I want to be called cupcake

  18. @13 agent cooper – I don’t think it should be limited to teenagers, there are plenty of people amongst my own peer group who should also have to take the test. Furthermore, I propose that if said test is failed, the ability to breed should also be forfeited.

  19. For the love of Christ woman, chill your bush

  20. You guys are hopeless, honestly.

    You go on about there being no periods at all, when I can see loads! The problem is she forgets about them whilst she’s typing, remembers all of a sudden, and then puts them all together in random groups of 3!

  21. Hahaha Makster! :D

  22. She fell in love with the poor bugger that she was going to use as a cockblock. It’s soooo romantic!

  23. Nope, I can’t say I’ve ever felt that way. Thanks for asking, though, Buttercup.

  24. Bazinga

  25. @Tim FTW!

  26. For some reason I automatically began reading/rapping this like it were the lyrics of the song “stan” by Eminem.

    Really expected that she was going to kill herself, by driving off a bridge into a river, at the end of the story…

  27. It is a good thing she didn’t. Otherwise this would be AWESOME.

  28. @lukeish – we all wish we could be as cool as you.

  29. @ caleb, I get that you’re irritated about “first” comments. But it’s not going to go anywhere. I find that it’s way easier to just skip over the first comment.

    However 10 posts in, your complaining about the “first” comments, makes something that was originally very easy to ignore, now much more difficult.

  30. Ah, teenagers and the L word. Nothing finer.

  31. Omg. If only she had written Rosebud instead of Buttercup

  32. @19 Tim FTW!!!

  33. From the title of this post I thought it was going to be a note about waiting from her period to happen after a night of no protection.

  34. *for

  35. CRAZY! I went through the EXACT same thing with my last boy that i stalked obsessively.

  36. @ Sensible Madness: your translation was awesome

  37. “I just wish he’d hold me and call me buttercup”

    Man, that’s depressing. I mean, I skimmed the rest, but I’m assuming it was a heartbreakingly beautiful whirlwind romance, right?

  38. Okay – ya. Can’t be bothered to read this – can I get the Reader’s Digest version?

  39. Very lame cuz it’s too long to read.

  40. i think my iq dropped a few points reading that

  41. I quit after “desirer”….is that even a real word?

  42. Caleb is Frodo

  43. I’d say this is a failed attempt at stream of consciousness writing but I’d be lying.

  44. Oh my God! I’m dizzy from reading. Breathe girl, breathe.


  46. oh Sensible Madness, where art thou?

  47. @ 46
    He’s @ 5
    (An incredible translation, yet again.)

  48. If she really had 1,000,000,000 ideas and questions running through her head, it would most likely explode. Such a shame she only got to 999,999,999 and rounded up.

  49. tl;dr

  50. platypus maximus

    Jesus Christ this woman needs medical attention. Or at least a therapist.

  51. @42 – excuse me? I have never had my ring destroyed

  52. @49 Yeah, that’s interesting…

  53. @caleb – Would you like to?

  54. I think my eyes just had a period from trying to read that crap.

  55. I’m sure I’m not the only one who was waiting for a pregnancy reference.

  56. @ 55 – but aren’t you glad there wasn’t one? I’d never wish infertility on someone, but…

  57. @caleb – Just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean your ring has been given eternal invincibility. Besides, your house is like a shire, so you’re Frodo. Don’t worry about Kyle, he can be Sam.

  58. @5 Seinsible Madness Wins again!

  59. I feel like I just read the thoughts of a female chimpanzee. Makes you long for the good old days when idiots were illiterate.

  60. Started looking for the panadol after the 3rd line.

  61. Can’t be fucked reading it

  62. Angsty ain’t she? and with good reason too, I can’t believe all of you cold-hearted bastards are on here mocking her broken heart.

    She’s hurting, confused, tired and just needs to be held whilst somebody calls her buttercup.

    That’s not what you really need sweetie, the ONLY way to make the pain in your heart to stop is to replace it with one in your fanny. Bend over Buttercup.

  63. @Imamofo – Epic Win.

  64. I hope the guy in question replied to this by saying:

    “Why did you build me up, buttercup?”

    Then he would be a real man.

  65. My head hurts….

  66. Makster! we said the same thing! haha!

    I think school teachers should copy this and use it in their lesson plans. “Learn to write in a half way decent manner and you won’t end up on ‘lamebook.’”

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