It seems likely that this guy was trying to weasel his way back into this girl’s pants, but on the off chance that he is really genuine and feels a sincere regret, then i feel really badly for the guy. And it’s like #9 and #12 said, it could well be part of a program that forces Andrew to face his demons.
Also the husband’s macho territorial reply didn’t do very much for me. The thinly veiled threat was pretty stupid.
@Saxon: a SINCERELY sorry person would just write “I’m sorry” instead of composing some huge florid literary opus. Andrew’s post is clearly designed to make Carla swoon at how awesomely poetic he is…and/or take pity on him because he’s just so darned contrite and miserable.
He’s looking to manipulate his way into her pants.
I had something like this similar happen to me with an old girlfriend.. who IS married and pregnant. I wish I could have posted the chat dialogue on here because it was pretty epic… She asked me why we broke up in HS and I was like okay with the way this conversation is going, it’s jogging my memory. You were a psychopath and obviously 12-13 later things haven’t changed.
I think Andrew’s e-mail was waaaaay too over the top to be considered anything other than manipulative. Otherwise, a simple “I’m sorry I was a dick to you back in the day. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me,” would’ve sufficed.
Even though he’s an atrocious writer and most certainly a dickbag, I do have to give Andy points for having perfect spelling and near-perfect grammar. After all we’ve seen here, I think that needs to count for something. Although, the lack of paragraph breaks was making my head hurt.
I think both responses are full of win. Wouldn’t you feel insulted if someone KNEW you were in a serious relationship and yet proceeded to try to wedge himself/herself between you anyway? It’s pretty presumptuous and disrespectful. People do this kind of stuff because the internet provides a buffer zone where no one fears consequence. There should be consequences for trying to break up a home. I want to beat this guy’s ass!
It’s pretty apparent that Lee had her blessing anyway. I’m assuming Andy sent this private message to her and she sent it to Lee. They probably both got a good kick out of it.
Also, I also don’t get genuine remorse from Andy’s emo opus. I get manipulative, trying too hard, and ulterior motive. I’d like to know how long ago he had this relationship with her and just how long it really lasted. Surely it had to be serious enough to justify screwing with other people’s emotional welfare.
Self-writhe??? Okay, Andy’s letter was awful even before that, but, self-writhe???? WHAT THE FUCK. Way to butcher the English language like so many other self-pitying fucks “trying not to be melodramatic or cliche” before you.
I’m a magazine editor, and we get some terrible submissions…but this has got to be the worst thing I’ve seen in the past 2 years.
Sometimes you just need to say something. I think that is all Andy was doing. If you give someone hell for an extended period of time and you have one chance to apologize you often do have to use a lot of adjectives and flowery phrases. I think he was completely sincere and really hoping to at least offer closure or some consolation, no matter how weak it might have been. Sometimes this is really the best a person can offer when they have been a terrible person.
I think that was Carla’s call to say what she did. He offered her something, she didn’t accept, good for her, good for him.
The douche here is Lee. Like he needs to be some god damned knight in shining armor. That part was gross and that part was lame. It was none of his business. His wife, in theory, is a grown-ass woman who handled HER shit well enough on her own.
Headless – I didn’t notice that Lee was the one who must have made this submission. I stand corrected, Lee’s lame response DOES trump Andy’s flowery manipulation after all. Lee, how does it feel to be even MORE of a douche than Andy? Your mama must be proud.
I like the fact that Lee sent his threatening note to Andy three minutes before Carla sent her “I don’t think about you” note. Lee must have sent his, decided it was too subtle for Andy, then bullied Carla into writing that.
1) I did submit this. I did so with her blessing and my initial response was indeed partially crafted by her. She was sitting in my lap and she clicked “send.” What can I say? We don’t dig invertebrate assholes with no regard for anyone other than themselves. It takes a special kind of person to meddle with a marriage, and to do so behind closed doors. She appreciated it less than I did.
2) We both found this correspondence to be pretty comical and transparent in motive. Even my response to it was half jest (but yes, I wouldn’t mind kicking his ass). We felt the lamebook world would be lacking without Andy’s epically bad histrionics.
3) Their brief relationship, if it can be called that, was more than ten years ago and lasted less than three months. She was in high school. He cheated on her and she dumped him. She was quite shocked to receive this after so many years and over what seemed so insignificant. She also said he was clearly delusional and that he harbored a revisionist recollection of how important their relationship was.
4) No, I did not “bully her into writing” anything. In fact, she was quite interested to see the comments this garnered on lamebook.
5) Lamebook cut out the last response I received from Andy. I’m guessing the admins thought it was too conciliatory for their liking. For all his verbosity, he replied with a one sentence tacit admission. “I apologize and will delete her from my account,” he wrote.
@Rick: It doesn’t matter when the douche^W husband replied. And he certainly didn’t submit this to Lamebook before Carla’s response. He obviously has no clue how pathetic and insecure his response makes him look or he’d never have submitted it. He either doesn’t get that Carla’s response was epic or he thinks his response was more epic. That makes him a douche.
Scroll up and read my previous comment. I don’t think my response was any more epic than hers. We both had a hand in my reply first and then she sent a separate, shorter repsonse of her own volition three minutes later. I guess she wanted him to hear it from both sides. And I think it is important to confront the idea that when you attempt to insert youself in the middle of a marriage, you are dealing with two people and not just one.
This sounds like an e-mail I recieved from my lying, cheating, narcissistic, pitiful, faggot ex boyfriend and Andy sounds like a pitiful, melodramatic, annoying, idiotic, fuckhead, retarded bastard who likes to be overdramatic, rdiciulous, wallow in his own pity, dumb, stupid, and manipulative.
Ikea/Lee, if that’s who you are, there is nothing you can say to contradict your own douchebaggedness. You included your own response in the lamebook submission, apparently under the impression you have wit, when really you just came off as a jack ass.
Lee, FTW. Andy, step away from the computer and get back to cutting yourself.
If someone wrote a similar note to my wife, I would probably take offense as well. If Andy was sincere at all, he would have just said “I feel really shitty about being such a dick. I’m REALLY sorry.” and leave it at that. This is borderline stalker.
I got the same kind of letter once from an ex who was just as narcissistic and manipulative as this guy, but there wasn’t even a hint of an apology. He tried to get in touch over Facebook as well recently, lied a few more times and made excuses as if it still mattered 18 years later (!) and told me he was married and had kids, one being a newborn. Yet he didn’t acknowledge my marriage or daughter who was in my profile photo. Needless to say I didn’t respond.
Of course Andrew gave his game away with that “grab some coffee and talk” line. Carla’s own response to that was spot on.
However, Ikea/Lee, the “seriously, eat a dick” line in your response removed any kind of higher ground you thought you occupied. And your explanation for submitting this yourself is hardly satisfactory – you thought lamebook-fans would all have a laugh at Andrew along with you, when your-&-Carla’s message is just as cringe-inducing as Andrew’s “florid” bile?
Although Andy *is* being a douche and overusing the thesaurus, I think he’s truly sorry. Lee didn’t need to be such a dickweed about it. Andy just needed to say some shit. He was pretty respectful about it. He sounds like a sad guy. Leave him alone.
ummm, are you serious? If he was really sorry and feeling bad then he should’ve just said that. “I’m sorry for what happened in the past. I was a jerk and treated you horrible. I hope you are doing well.”
But the fact that he went on to tell her how incredibly sexy and gorgeous he always found her and then invite her for “coffe and talking” is over the line.
If someone sent something like this to my wife AFTER seeing that she was married, I’d be pretty pissed off too. Andy needs to learn some tact and not think that his own thoughts and feelings are more important than everyone else’s.
Thank you. Neither of us claimed to take the high ground. We were both a little pissed off at the sheer, narcissistic temerity of his letter. We were also quite entertained by his needlessly verbose attempt to impress her. And we found it particularly insidious that he judged a rocky, three month fling important enough to try to break up a marriage ten years after the fact. This letter was not about an apology. Otherwise, he would have left it at “I’m sorry.” No, this letter was about reinserting himself into her life at the expense of everyone else involved. That’s some serious disregard, people (and it’s what more than a few of you seem to blatantly ignore). Both of our reactions contained a mixture of surprise, anger, and laughter.
when you invite a married/engaged ex out for coffee after ten years, it definitely makes you pathetic. per Lee, andy was with carla for three months in high school. silly of andy to think he was worth remembering after that long – so he fully deserved that response.
i’d advise andy to sign up with eharmony or match.com to avoid any further embarrassment from exes that probably won’t even remember him.
Yes, “eat a dick”, truly an outstanding insult. You’re “The Man” if you can say such things. (#88)
Lee, nobody blames you for being offended & upset – you have all the right in the world to be. And I don’t agree with anyone saying Andy deserves sympathy – he certainly doesn’t. However, showing off your don’t-mess-with-macho-me response to the wider public takes some shine off Carla’s marvellous own response – as another poster noted, that was the response that satisfied us all. Take a bow for that, Carla. But accept that not everybody finds knee-slapping humour in the longer response you crafted together, nor would’ve submitted it by themselves to lamebook.
Still, if you ever meet Andrew in person, I’d be in your corner, as he’ll deserve whatever he’ll get. His intentions were clear, you’re right about that.
I can see Andy repeating his histrionic speech in front of a camera later as material to send to film auditions. What a drama queen/fucking peasant.
Glad to notice I wasn’t the only one a little perplexed by “self-writhe.” Andy must have got a little too carried away while jacking off to his adjectives and forgotten a little something called the dictionary.
Do you reckon Andrew had the thesaurus out?! I just had to pick out my favourite lines:
“a cataclysmic destruction of self-writhe” – WTF? ‘writhe’ means: to twist the body, face or limbs or as in pain or distress. Can you cataclysmically destruct self-twisting in pain? Probably not. Moron.
“I hope not to sound excessively cliche, melodramatic, or self-deprecating” – LMAO. Melodramatic? Emphatically yes. Imbecilic? Certainly, yes.
AND THE ABSOLUTE WINNER: Describing her as “cunningly innocent with dark side” – LMAO.
Lee’s is okay, but a little superfluous I think. No need for the boy to go flexing his muscles when the girl put him down so succinctly.
I understand being turned off by the whole “macho me” thing. Honestly, I WAS pissed off enough to kick his ass. And I did feel that he deserved to, at the very least, acknowledge the possibility of real life consequences for his complete disrespect. However, I included my reply not because I thought it made me look like a bad ass but because it solicited his one sentence apology. I found that apology akin to both a retreat and a simultaneous admission that his motives were apparent. Unfortunately, lamebook chose to edit that portion out.
Carla’s response was perfect. Her douchebag husband’s response was stupid. He needs to learn to let his apparently smarter wife deal with the problem, and spend less time beating his chest and pointing out the territory he’s pissed on.
I feel sorry for Carla, being sandwiched between a wet noodle and a simian thug.
The only way that Lee is not as big of a douche as Andy is, is if Carla asked him to reply also. If Lee took it upon himself to reply then he’s just an egotistical neanderthal pissing on his territory. Carla’s response was perfect and said it all. Nothing further was needed.
Andy does seem pretty narcissistic. The way he keeps talking about how Carla was able to hold his interest, as if that is a rare accomplishment: that’s a big red flag.
I’ve written a letter like that before. An ex friended me on Myspace, but we never talked. I wrote an email telling him that I was now aware that I treated him like crap when we had dated years before, that he had deserved better, and that I was sorry. It was pretty brief.
No wailing about how we should still be together, no self-pity, no excuses, no dumping on him, and NO REQUESTS. You can’t hope for anyone to reward you for apologizing, or to want anything to do with you. It reeks of insincerity and self-absorption.
(Anyway, the guy wrote back and told me he appreciated the email and that I wasn’t as bad as I remembered. It was more than I expected, and I’m glad I wrote to him. )
Anybody who would defend Andy is only doing so because they would write (or have already written) something equally pathetic and retarded. Go back to dreaming about Edward Cullen and cutting yourself.
And Lee, I do appreciate your response, and I can see where the first inclination is to do what you did, so I can’t call you a douche because that might have been my first response. But sometimes you just gotta let it go — you already had the high road, and Carla’s line was the best thing ever. Take this as a lesson learned. It would have hurt Andy more to know that you weren’t even concerned about him getting between you and your wife.
How am I the only one who finds the “She was sitting in my lap and she clicked “send.”” part of Ikea/Lee’s rebuttal to be creepy and odd? I mean, I sit on my husbands lap, but it seems almost odd to bring it up, not to mention it seems co-dependent or controlling.
lmao “She was sitting in my lap and she clicked “send.”” how fat must this dude be for his missus to fit “in” his lap…unless carla is imaginary or some kind of sex toy. maybe carla is the name he’s given his hand
The people who feel sorry for Andy must be kidding. There is no way he genuinely was sorry cos if he was he would have just been pleased she was happily married and moved on. I mean come on, the guy is so self centred it is ridiculous.
Alright guys/girls, the husband-bashing is now going too far. I also questioned his role in this (from post 83 onwards), but if you paid attention, you’ll know that lamebook didn’t post his whole submittal. Andrew’s final response was edited out, in which he retreated and can realistically be interpreted as an admission of his intentions.
Because Andrew’s one-sentence reply (suddenly he kept it short and to the point) was cut, it now seems as if Lee posted this only to show off – which is a false impression. I also felt that way, but didn’t consider all the facts first.
Remember you have a married couple here – whether you like them or not is besides the point. And then comes a grovelling old ex-flame from years forgotten and try to worm his way back into Carla’s life in a rather pathetic way. Maybe you’d have been the bigger man and stayed out of it, but you can’t blame Lee for reminding Andrew that there is a husband in the equation as well.
Andrew immediately promised to sever contact – which proves that Lee & Carla’s replies had the desired effect. Wouldn’t you have wanted the same had you been in their position?
And yes yes, Carla’s own response may also have sufficed… but maybe not. Just consider the bigger picture first before slamming him for becoming involved. (I didn’t either, was proven to be off-base with my initial accusations against Lee, and again, I’m sorry about that.)
Please also note the timings. Lee actually responded BEFORE Carla, but the order has been changed for lamebook. Yes, Lee seems like a bit of a dick after reading what Carla wrote, but he doesn’t look quite so dick-like once you realise he responded to Andrew before Carla’s awesome putdown.
Lee owned that little dickweasel, and he’s got one helluva woman.
It was obvious that he was trying to get into a married woman’s pants.
If you were the husband, would you really stand idly by while some desperate arsebandit wannabe Don Juan tries to hit on your wife using facebook, of all things?
Jesus Christ on a pogo stick; facebook stalking. How pathetic.
*rolling my eyes* … Next I’ll be accused of being Andrew and Carla too! Oh, idiot parade, I’ve posted on many other threads as well, under my own name, and only my own name. Even attracted the obligatory foulmouth-imposters here and there. But, nevermind.
snip, timelee, Jonathan James…the list goes on. Oh, and “Jaco”, how do we know you’re from South Africa? For that matter how do we know Lee is not? You are not nearly as clever or witty as you think you are.
Idiot Parade, suit yourself. If it is so important to you to believe that I am one and the same person as Lee, then go ahead. It matters not whether anyone believes I’m South African or not, nor whether anyone thinks I’m clever or witty (which I haven’t even tried to be in any of my posts here.) We’re all just people who are curious about submissions to lamebook, and sometimes we contribute to the discussions. I had a few things to say on this here thread, I said it, and if you insist on thinking I’m Lee, then it’s really no skin off my nose.
Ah, no Jaco…or Lee, or ikea man or whatever you want to call yourself. You are a douche. It is painfully obvious what you are trying to do. Like I said before, it is quite clearly you who manufactured this entry. Get back in your box.
Skips such an angry bad man and hates this discussion so much, he took the liberty of reading all the comments and noting everyone’s name down. Just goes to show you shouldn’t post on this site if your intellegence level leaves you struggling to tie your own shoe laces.
Oh you owned me Jonathan. Yes all facebook profiles are genuine, as you have to prove your identity to create one. Hang on, no you don’t. Yes I am Andy, and I’d love to grab a coffee with you – I’ve loved you all along. Fuck Carla, I want you big boy *tiger claws* reaow
HAHA. wow guys, going crazy much? And why, oh why would you put your email address on here??!
Anyway, I think Andys post was funny as fuck. SO lame. So SO lame.
Words can’t even describe how lame. Oh wait, yes they can. About four-million of them already did in his original letter. *vomit* How pompous can you get? ugh.
Hey skip, I’d love to keep in touch or grab a coffee and talk sometime. Nevertheless, I totally understand if you decline. But until the hereafter…Respectfully, Jonathan…I mean Jaco…fuck I’ve had enough trolling for one evening. Goodnight, you special people you
I didn’t read all the comments, but with Carla being married, why the fuck would she admit she still has feelings or thinks about him? That would be kinda stupid on her part, especially with her husband reading her stuff.
Oh,and Jonathan…I do actually believe you’re a real person – posting your email address was incredibly foolish. I was fucking with you and you took the bait HARD. Why on God’s sweet earth would you use your real name and email on this site?? So, so stupid…oh dear. You might want to start a new account – I’m not done fucking with you yet.
Put up my name and e-mail address because I’m not enough of a nerd to really care about what happens to a crappy e-mail address I barely use. Robin, sorry, regardless what you may think of me, I am no where near deformed enough to enter the English version of District 9.
The fact that Andrew’s last comment was edited out is not in FAVOR of Lee! Sorry Lee and Carla. The fact that he backed off instead of cyber-posturing back shows, imo, that he was sincerely trying to make amends. A guy who wants married pussy isn’t the type that is going just slink away with his tail between his legs.
I really think this guy, in a flowery way, was feeling bad for making some girl the target of his self destruction. And maybe he’s really changing.
I think Lee is sorry that Andy’s last reply was deleted because it made him feel like such a ‘big, strong man’ that the guy backed down. That’s one of the main points he’s come in here rambling about. He wanted to make sure we all knew his little rant saved the day. Lee – you’re a douche. Andy – also a douche. Carla – Take care of your past business yourself without sitting on your husband’s lap in front of the computer and creating anymore stupidity in the world.
He’s only making it worse by claiming (truthfully or not) that the wife was involved in the crafting of his letter to Andy. Honeslty, my wife’s ex-husband was a major douche, but if he sent her a letter like this, neither one of us would give shit one. It would hardly require a joint effort on our part to deal with it. And this is some dude from highschool? Lame.
Right, that’s why you’re so optimistic about the other parties involved. Am I right?! Your sincerity only works in one unfortunate direction, Penny.
a) You’re gullible as fuck and it’s clear you know nothing about men. Anyone else with half a brain and a slight awareness of how men work would know this letter smacked of insincerity and ulterior motive. Good luck walking around like an easy mark for the rest of your life.
b) His “relationship” with her was over ten years ago and lasted less than three months. According to Carla, he didn’t even make an impression beyond being a cheating, self-absorbed, sociopath who thought he was smarter than everyone else; who pretended to be tormented to manipulate the sympathies of two women. She saw through it, dumped him, and moved on without a second glance. In fact, she’s reluctant to even use the word “relationship” given the brevity and overall lack of attachment. Basically, she says he must have seen her recent pictures and decided that she was still hot. He thought he could impress her with this overwrought, sophomoric diatribe despite her obvious relationship status. And if you don’t think that asking to meet for coffee while using present tense descriptions of how she’s still the most beautiful woman he’s ever known is fraught with ulterior motive, you’re just ignorant. It seems like you’d fall right into his trap for little more than some poorly strung together adjectives.
c) Men who want “married pussy” are not stand-up guys. You make an egregiously stupid mistake in assuming that every man who wants a taken woman is willing to fight for it in the open (as if that somehow makes it better). Let me tell you something: men like him prefer to conduct such business under cover and without fear of repercussion. They are spineless and they usually do slither away at the first sign of exposure. This is exactly why he used the facebook medium to begin with.
d) My wife and I love each other very much. All you armchair philosophers who think you wouldn’t have reacted angrily have obviously never been in a simialr situation. Talk to me when some sociopathic yahoo thinks it’s ok to try to sabotage something beautiful because he’s too self-absorbed to see past his own desperate dick. Passion begets passionate response. I defy you all.
Your militant feminism is comical at this point. At no point did I ever force her into writing anything. In fact, she had just as much of a hand in my response as I did, if not moreso. I felt no compunction to “speak for her” as I am more than aware that she can handle herself (often more adeptly than I). I do not not lament Andy’s missing response because it makes me look like a “tough guy.” I lament it because his reduction to a one sentence apology after all he initially wrote was quite comical, and it was essentially a tacit admission of guilt. That you so readily assume I must be some domineering, macho-man, misogynist is based on little more than my sex and your very limited knowledge of the context. So what if I wanted to kick his ass? So what if BOTH of us decided it would be best if he faced the possibility of conequences from TWO sides? Afterall, he tried to mess with a marriage.
You knew Andy was pathetic and would slither away just by shining a little light on the cockroach. Yet ‘you’ still felt the need to threaten him and tell him to suck a dick – that’s a douche move.
Andy’s smarmy Facebook posting is pathetic, but it hardly merits a response at all. Carla’s response was perfect. It shut him down and didn’t invite further communication. “Your” response was little more than dick measuring. Andy backed down, and I’m glad he did, but if things had escalated your implied threat could have easily backfired on you.
And for the record, my wife’s ex actually held a gun to her face. I don’t recall being angry. I don’t let douchebags ‘make’ me feel things. I didn’t threaten him either. We just got a restraining order and pressed charges. Problem solved.
“I love my wife so much that I must monitor her facebook account and ‘save’ her from having coffee with an ex-boyfriend from high school, because she is obviously going to submit to his erudite, pedantic, sophisticated charms if I don’t ‘protect’ her!”
I honestly think women like you keep us (women) down. Just go give another lap dance and call it a day!!! You’re stupid, you automatically assume that women are weak, and feeble minded (because you are), and that men rule us. No one rules me. Go fuck yourself. Fuck your man while he drinks a budweiser! That’s all you think women are good for, right?!!! Whateves, I LOVE ME SOME LEE….
This is bullshit, as shit as the message is i dont think this site should be posting fucking emails! Public displays of stupidity yes but private dumbarse shit should stay private. FUCK YOU LAMEBOOK.COM!
Well, that was entertaining. I might add that when I reached the end of the post, I knew that Andrew was a narcissistic blowhard whose attempts to bang a married woman were more more than a little painfully obvious.
But I also suspected that Lee was an aggrandizing asshole who uses big words because he’s SURE they make him sound intelligent. A quick perusal of his replies here confirm that suspicion.
PROTIP, Lee: When you respond, try not to sound more than a little insecure.
This sounds just like my ex boyfriend. We broke up and got back together a few times, and this is the kind of stuff he used (still does actually) to send when trying to win me back. He;d then do a 180 after a couple of months. These guys don’t live in reality. They like the idea of a relationship more than the actual relationship.
I just want to say, I’ve been where Andy seems to be coming from. That is why I feel he is sincere. Accepting an apology doesn’t make someone a wimp. Accepting an apology is a way of not letting something from the past control you.
I am a completely different person than I was in my late teens. I was one of those “mean girls” and I’ve apologized (in a not so flowery way) for the things I’ve done wrong. Some people accepted, some people didn’t, some people didn’t remember me. How ever they responded was about themselves. I offered up what I could for the mean things I did. Carla’s response was healthy…but sitting on hubby’s lap while he cyber-threatens someone is idiotic. If this guy meant nothing to her then why say anything more than she did? Hubby wanted to be a big shot. And I think the little damsel on his lap got off on it. Sad couple.
I actually feel sorry for Andy. clearly he’s not used to writing any essay if he made the high school student’s mistake of copy/pasting thesaurus synonyms to make his letter longer and “intelligent”. Maybe he was trying to get into her pants, or maybe he’s a changed man, I wrote letters asking for forgiveness to people I didnt see eye to eye with in my past (though nothing like he did or to ex’s)
Carla’s reply was harsh, she sounds like a bitch, sh could have declined nicely
and her husband shouldn’t have gotten involved at all. He treats her like his property, and threatning Andy like this is middle school.
Lee loses here. Not only should he not feel the need to reply to such an obvious loser, the fact that she never mentioned a dude that did this much stuff to her must show she is harboring feelings of some sort. That and her dorky reply.
I don’t think it is anti-feminist or whatever to want your boyfriend/husband to stick up for you. I used to have a bf that would be like ‘you’re grown up, you can stick up for yourself’ and i’ll call it for what it was, which is weak. Isn’t it instinct to stick up for your family/friends?
Ikea’s/The Husband’s posts seem like they would qualify to be on Lamebook had they been posted on Facebook. To me, him posting this letter from Andy has come back full circle, making him look like a total jackass.
Whatever you think of Lee’s response (I for one think it justified), any one defending this Andy guy and his motives is a retard or just as scummy.
When men act like this, they are chasing pussy, pure and simple. This guy wants to try and break a MARRIAGE up. A MARRIAGE. Not a three month relationship, not a six month relationship, not even a serious relationship of a 2+ years, but a fuckin marriage. Absolute 100% scumbag.
My ex-girlfriend of 4 years went to college with a kid who would do just this kind of thing… text messages on New Year’s “Hope you’re having a wonderful New Year’s beautiful” (yes she is with me deep inside her LOL dipshit), long florid Facebook messages like this (not apologetic, but long on adjectives, cliches, self-pity/loathing, and overly flattering), draw her pictures of flowers, buy her flowers, and the whole nine yards. He creeped her the hell out (but as per many girls, she was too timid/afraid to rebuff him strongly and clearly as Carla did here, which was great/funny).
Now, did I ever respond in any way to this bumblefuck shrimp-dicked dipshit… even when he was sending that kinda shit when he knew she was with me? No. Did I want to? I wanted to knock his teeth out. We got a good laugh out of it, but still…
It’s not about insecurity or being controlling, it’s about boundaries and respect. That’s not respecting me (or Lee here) or respecting the boundaries of a relationship. Most women would feel the same way, perhaps stronger, if the shoe were on the other foot. It’s just not respectful, that’s what gets you mad, not some deep-seated insecurity that some wannabe William Faulkner is going to win your girlfriend/wife over with such nonsense.
Also, if this guy is anything like the guy who used to harass my ex, I’m guessing he sent similar messages to any girl he’s ever been anywhere near involved with that he could find. That’s what my experience did, he’d do it to all the girls in her dorm, same old creepy pseudo-stalker shit.
That’s these kinda guys’ M.O., they’re just trying to drum *something* up to fuck.
Good on you, Matt. I also wonder how some of the females who objected to Lee’s response here, would have responded had some psycho stalker female tried to have a piece of their husbands/boyfriends… they’d have let the husbands handle it by themselves, wouldn’t they? Ha. Ha. Ha.
Lee’s response is justified.
I would go the fuck off on a woman if she tried to message my man with that kind of bullshit.
Who the fuck does something like that KNOWING that the other person is married?
A fucking NO COUNT, that’s who!
TEAM LEE AND CARLA!
Lee’s response is totally justified. I’m married and if one of her ex-boyfriends started writing long letters to my wife, I would take it for what it is, disrespect. Lee shouldn’t have to tolerate it. Of course he’s going to respond with a veiled threat of violence. If some guy grabs my wife’s ass, he’s going to get punched. It’s disrespectful to her and to me and to our marriage. Well done Lee. Not only did you call into the open the truth of Andy’s pathetic message, you managed to threaten violence without being lame. There are times when being possessive of your significant other is perfectly okay, and this is one of those times.
Anyone who thinks that Andy has been treated unfairly should take a look at themselves and their motivations for thinking so. If your motivations are that you can see yourself in Andy’s shoes, trying pitifully to weasel your way back into an ex’s pants and destroying her marriage, do humanity a favor and kill yourself now, or at least cut your balls off so that you don’t reproduce. The world needs fewer losers.
“When men act like this, they are chasing pussy, pure and simple.”
Yes all men are clones of each other and you are their all knowing translator. Thanks.
“This guy wants to try and break a MARRIAGE up. A MARRIAGE. Not a three month relationship, not a six month relationship, not even a serious relationship of a 2+ years, but a fuckin marriage. Absolute 100% scumbag.”
That’s a leap and who the fuck cares. So someone signed a legal document, it doesn’t mean that relationship is any more important than any other. I hate this marriage-is-sacred crap. (And I’ve been happily married for over 10 years. The stupid marriage license didn’t and doesn’t change anything and it never will. All it means is that I get treated better than gays by the government.)
So, Matt, in your opinion a male can NEVER apologize and want to make amends with any female? They are always trying to get laid. Your opinion of not only men, but women is troubling.
“That’s a leap and who the fuck cares.” Yeah Penny Lane, who does care? Apparently, you do… very much. You should drop this personal crusade. You look pretty ridiculous at this point. I know you feel some empathy for Andy’s position because you have admittedly written similar letters. Why was that again? Oh yeah, you were a self-proclaimed bitch. Well Penny, I wouldn’t so much call you a bitch as I would a pathetic, bored woman who’s married to a pussy.
Have a nice life and shut the hell up. You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.
p.s. If only your husband was an ape…you might actually get fucked from time to time.
@ Penny Lane – you lost whatever integrity you had when you called another person an ape for simply stating his point of view. I’d suggest a different approach if you want to convince anybody of the merits of your own point of view.
And Penny, you may be right that Andy’s intentions were pure and all. But there’s a helluva good chance that you’re not right. Just because your experience tells you that apologies are always sincere, doesn’t mean others have the same lucky experiences as you.
@ Jazz – good point but there are ‘some’ men who’d see any acceptance of an apology as further encouragement. It’s best not to take any chances, and I suspect Carla had enough experience of this Andy to not give him any chance whatsoever to get back in her life again.
Wow…just having a fun and lively discussion I thought. Not a crusader! lol
“you lost whatever integrity you had when you called another person an ape for simply stating his point of view.”
No, I didn’t call him an ape for stating his point of view, I called him an ape for acting like it is ever ok to be possessive of another human being. BTW, what I said is pretty tame compared to much of what goes on around here. LOL! BTW, this is just fun…calm down now…deep breaths.
I feel terrible commenting on this, so long after the fact, but at 19, am still young enough to feel offended by a lot of the stuff said here. Especially given the awesomeness of the couples response.
To people who feel that the apology is genuine, I disagree:
“bitten and suffocated by the serpentine spirit of my on demise”- for one, I don’t know how you could ever side with somebody so effing terrible at writing. But major evidence of it not being an apology- he’s not actually taking responsibility for any wrong doing, he’s too busy painting himself as “vulnerable,” plagued by regrets, being “very depressed”. He’s trying to make himself less culpable for his actions by blaming all these weaknesses out of his control. You’ve gotta man up to the fact that less of the letter is an apology for his effect on her, and more an apology for himself, and it reeks of narcissism.
Oh screw talking about it, Lee and Carla are timeless heroes of the lamebook. They stomped on what should be criminal use of facebook- getting on it, just to forgive how much of an asshole you’ve been in the eyes of people who have much better things to do.
At best, he’s a narcissist for thinking people should be want to hear from a blotch on their ancient history, at worst he’s a sexual parasite who uses peoples pity for him as a mechanism for insinuating relationships. Either way, he’s a human stain, and I would be friends with Lee and Carla on fb any day.
First of all: I didn’t read the comments. If mine overlap, I apologize.
Yes, Andrew is lame. He’s whiny and melodramatic and trying to “re-connect” with a married woman.
However, the people who posted this here on Lamebook are self-important twats. What does a random apology from a lame ex have to do with anything? If he’s really as irrelevant as the woman claims, why post this? Random, lame apologies from exes aren’t a symptom of Facebook in particular… no one cares that your wife’s ex boyfriend is actually desperate enough to go for your wife.
It looks like the husband answered first because the husband was writing a message, not a response to a wall post. Look at the postings. The original one doesn’t say “Between [HIM] and You”, which indicates it’s a wall post. However, the husband’s post DOES say “Between [HIM] and You”, indicating it is a wall post.
[...] November 2009 BOTM Candidate #2 was submitted by Ross W. Have you ever wondered what happens when an inborn beta becomes a little too aggressively creepy in his pursuit of a taken woman? Well now, thanks to Lamebook, you can read a stellar example of just such a specimen. [...]
HOLY SHIT!!! That part about “I’ll meet you for coffee sometime” made me realize how hilarious this entire thing is. I figured the husband would say something like “I’m gonna kick your ass” or some shit, but he actually worked his threat into the lame ass letter lol.
Just throwing this out there: Penny Lane does NOT speak for all women. Certainly not for me. If I was Carla, I would have felt disrespected, so I certainly wouldn’t blame my husband if he did too! (So no, Matt, I don’t think you’re an “ape” for feeling disrespected when you have every right to).
I’ve gotten douchey letters like this (though thankfully none as verbose), and no, I was not sympathetic. “Awww, poor dear, just wants to apologize to me, wish me luck in my current relationship….and ask me out.” Riiiiight.
I would be more likely to believe that Andy was truly sorry if:
1. he had given her the respect of referring to her as MARRIED. Maybe I didn’t read enough of these comments, but I can’t believe no one mentioned the fact that he referred to her as “engaged” instead of “married”. Unless she just happened to be having her wedding at the exact time he was writing this thesis paper, that sounds deliberate, and really rude. Oh, but I’m sure it was *just* an oversight. Because a creep like Andy who spends pages upon pages describing how “cunningly innocent but with a dark side” she is didn’t once give her profile a quick glance. Sure.
2. he wouldn’t have ASKED HER OUT ON A DATE.
I personally thought Lee’s response was funny, and completely NOT uncalled for. If I was Carla, I would have shown my husband. Not because I’m a “damsel in distress”, but because it would have irritated me, but I still would have been amused by how pathetic it is and would have wanted to have someone to share a laugh with. And if my boyfriend had responded like Lee, I would have laughed even harder. Sorry, but for those of you who think Carla should have “responded nicely”…you’ve obviously never dealt with people like Andy. Being nice – even if you’re blowing them off – comes off as some invitation to keep bothering you.
Well, now that this comment has become about as long as Andy’s letter, I’ll end it with this: “Team Carla & Lee! (and Matt)”
I love that after that endless bull shit from Andy, Carla responded with ONE sentence, making it very clear that she doesn’t give a shit about him and kindly reminding him of her marriage.
As for Lee, though I could go on and on about how he had every right to say what he said, I’d just like to say one thing: WIN.
“It takes God a long time to get us out of the way of thinking that unless everyone sees as we do, they must be wrong. That is never God’s view. There is only one liberty, the liberty of Jesus at work in our conscience enabling us to do what is right….Jesus said, ‘Go and make disciples,’ not ‘make converts to your opinions.’” -Oswald Chambers
Why can’t we all just agree that all three people involved are dipshits?
Andrew, while manipulative and arrogant, also seems genuinely depressed — not that it helps his self-righteous cause. Yes, in a way his apology could be seen as sincere, but only in the sense that he sincerely wants to fuck Carla. Were his response shorter and not so melodramatic, I would have felt bad for the guy. Instead, he’s just a pretentious asshat. Final grade: PRETENTIOUS.
Lee, while reacting in a somewhat understandable manner, went about it the wrong way (I’m not saying I would have reacted perfectly, but I think I would have tried to sound a little calmer and less threatening/tough, since I’m neither threatening nor tough), and his defensive attitude in the thread has dug him deeper. FINAL GRADE: INSECURE.
Carla, who delivered a beautiful smackdown to Andrew’s attempt to get into her pants, cannot type for shit and comes off as nothing but an asshole (in the thread, I mean, although I’m not entirely convinced it’s her). Her ad hominem attacks against people in the thread make her seem like an immature redneck. FINAL GRADE: STUPID.