Monday, July 12, 2010

Gettin’ Folked Up

previous post: A Few PhoDohs



  1. Zing

  2. Zoung?

  3. why do moms on face book always read to me like they are all dumb valley chicks.. seriously your putting your trust in a teenager.. good luck with that.. keep the expectations super low and be blessed with constant amazment… thats my modus aperendi…

  4. I’d have more respect if she knew the correct usage of to/too/two

  5. glitterandtrauma

    Why did Lauren have to give it away? all she had to do was not comment and Gianna could later say that it was an old photo. But then someone stupid enough to put a photo of themselves on facebook that they obviously don’t want their Mum to see on there wouldn’t be sharp enough to come up with an excuse.

  6. What I want to know is who on earth updates their facebook with these sorts of pictures before they’re home. Seriously, you’re just asking for it at this point.

  7. You’ll be surprised redbluegreen. I have quite a few friends who upload pics of the party/dinner they’re at *while they’re at it*.

  8. That’s pretty pathetic. The only way to be caught in a more idiotic manor would be if they made it on the news and their mom just happened to be watching.

  9. John Players Standard

    What kind of moron adds their parents to facebook?

  10. glitterandtrauma

    John Players Standard It’s not the adding your parents to facebook that’s the problem it’s lying then revealing the truth on facebook and using facebook to publicise your entire life.

  11. John Players Standard

    Cool Story Bro!

  12. There actually isn’t anything interesting to say about anything. Ever.

  13. I actually have my mom on fb, but I don’t put all my party pics on there, and not because of her, just because

  14. …anyone else remember where those red cups have been? Ew..

  15. I remember , if you are talking about what i think you are talking about ;)

  16. CommentsAtLarge

    If you are referring to the cup bra Mass, I do — have yet to figure out how to burn that out of my brain.

  17. …no there was like 4 dudes with the cups on their junk. I haven’t drank from one since.

  18. Bad decision by Gianna on letting either of her parents be her friends on FB. Maybe it wasn’t her choice, because I have a few cousins (none older than 15) whose parents force them to have complete transparency if they’re going to get on FB. One of them tried to get around it though by telling his parents they deleted his or her FB when in fact they had just changed the e-mail log-in and password. When my aunt found out, she beat my cousin senseless and actually put him in a coma. When he came out of it he was terrified of her and nobody knew why because no one expected her as a suspect. So she attempted to smother him in his hospital bed. She couldn’t pull it off though and only further damaged his brain. Eventually hospital officials started to question her but she was pretty good at throwing them off the trail. When it became apparent he was going to survive the 2nd attack she decided to bring in a professional. This hit man she hired was ruthless. He ended up going to the ICU where he was being held and put a bullet in every single person’s head on the floor (small hospital). In all he killed 13 people on the floor. After the bodies were tallied and identified they noticed the mother of the boy had been killed in the attack as well in an act of sweet, sweet justice. So mothers, don’t be FB friends with your daughters.


  20. Thanks fuckMustard…that’s adisturbing image as well. lol

  21. I am trying to find the one with the guys since that was what I thought of when you said it.

  22. glitterandtrauma

  23. glitterandtrauma

    Why are they all red cups? I usually only see white plastic cups.

  24. Oh look, a teenager is at a party when she told her parents she was at a friends, and then her mum found out. Meh.

    Much more impressive is the coming-out story of a girl I knew at uni. I think she was around 17/18, and had been seeing a much older woman without telling her parents she was a lesbian. Then one night she was round her girlfriend’s house, when the police arrived to take her gf in for questioning about a murder. Of course, they took the girl in too, and rang her parents. The police let both the girl and her gf go, as neither had anything to do with this murder, but she had a looooooooot of explaining to do. If I remember rightly, her parents were fine with her being a dyke, just relieved she wasn’t shagging a murderer.

    True story.

  25. glitterandtrauma- I just spend forever looking for that, how did you find it so quick :(

  26. glitterandtrauma

    mwnci tal why couldn’t she have just told her parents it was her friend and she’stayed over because of a night out? God do teenagers now not know how to lie to their parents?

  27. glitterandtrauma

    FuckMustard- It’s actually along the side in the ‘most popular’ column on this very page. :)

  28. *sigh* well that would have saved me a lot of time

  29. Well now I know the proper use of those red cups , to hide my junk :)

  30. glitterandtrauma

    FuckMustard did you find it eventually the long way?

  31. glitterandtrauma

    And the dicksie cups one doesn’t really bother me, I just find it funny. The cup bra, however ……….. *shudder*.

  32. No i stopped trying once I saw you had already done it.

  33. This woman was a lot older, and since Ellie (not her real name!) had told them she was staying elsewhere, it was simply easier to tell the truth.

  34. glitterandtrauma

    @mwinci tal I thought teenagers had a natural instinct to lie to their parents, I know I did. I still alter things slightly for them now, at the age of 22, if I know I’m going to get nagged at.

  35. @glitter she’d already lied and got found out. I spose she thought that, while she was sat in a police station with her gf being questioned about a murder, that it might be an idea to tell the truth. I dunno.

    I generally find that just not telling my parents things they don’t need to know is much easier than lying.

  36. Mom, you really should of seen this coming. You were a teenager once. I hate to break it to you but the little talk you guys are going to have, will only do one thing… Make her better at getting away with it.

    Sure some people will be happy with just that. The best way to scare them is to tell them that is how your “Uncle Phil” got started. We all have the creapy uncle that nobody invites to the family get togethers but he still manages to find his way there anyway.

    As for the links Mustard and Trauma presented…meh…Anybody that ties a good one on has a picture that they wish wasn’t taken. just not all of us have them on Facebook.

    I give this one a C.

  37. What, isn’t this root beers & a prayer circle? That’s just another Monday night at the church of IHOP.

  38. so little to work with.

    apart from facebook is insidious and usually used for what it’s least useful for.

  39. Uncle Phil?

  40. Lamebook kicks Facebook’s ass because here we have carte blanche (that means blank ticket for you non-Spanish speakers) to make as many smartass comments as we want. The happy, ooh good for you shit on Facebook makes me want to Joker myself with a pencil.

  41. You know all this talk about yoink, the artist formerly known as yoink. Makes me realize that I have a confession to make.

    Okay, here it goes…

    I am not a single father, I am a 23 year old ex-heroin junkie. I used to whore myself out to supply my habbit. I have sucked dick for chesseburgers and was proud of it at the time. I wasn’t a very good looking prostitute, so I had to keep my prices low. As anybody knows, you have to stay competitive. Just as Soup, he can vouch for me.

    Actually, I should say he-she. If I’m going down, I have to take somebody with me.

    When I found Lamebook, I knew that 90% of the commenters HAD be as strung out as I was. I knew I didn’t want to be like this anymore. So I started to join in so I coould be reminded everyday why I didn’t want to be like this anymore.

    I am sorry if I dissapointed anyone. But I felt I had to come clean. I pray you guys don’t bash me for being honest.

    Soup, I want you to know that I will always be willing to accept that marrige proposal from a few years back. I just hope you haven’t moved on by now.

    Thank you, That is all.

  42. marriage*

  43. I used to be a heroin junkie.

  44. ask*

  45. That’s an asterisk, not an ask. What did you do for a double cheeseburger?

  46. Like I said, I was an ugly prostitute. I was never offered a double chesseburger.

  47. i would kill for a double cheeseburger right now (03:14 GMT)

  48. I would do more than that! ;)

  49. That’s awfully presumptuous of the mother. How does she know the piss up isn’t at Lauren’s house??

    I’m also confused: “based on this photo I will see you when you get home” uhhh….you wouldn’t see her otherwise??

  50. awwwww fuck it’s Mum!

  51. HeSaidWhat, that’s noble of you to come clean like that. Don’t worry, nobody will think any less of you. Single fathers are pathetic dude.

  52. @HeSaidWhat – Last week I had to buy a double cheeseburger + onion rings for an absolutely hideous prostitute. Damn inflation. Seems like you got out of the business too early.

  53. You know, you show one strung out whore your pegina, and they have to tell the whole world. “Ohh, I’m sick now that I’m off the horse and I really miss the taste of cockburgers. On the subject of food, Soup has a sausage beef combo thing going on with his dangly bits”. The answer to your addiction will not be found in my loins.

    And I’m sorry, but the proposal is off the table. I found a wonderful woman who has a vagenis and we are inseparable. Literally. It’s like a whole lattice work thing going on down there.

  54. SouthBeachTakeover

    Soup, never say inseperable. It reminds me of the human centipede.

  55. God damnit, Soup, I love you.

  56. That is just fine. You seemed a little obsessed with my moobs as it was. Not to mention your sausage beef combo looked more like a chesse roll-up with a side of chessey fiesta potato.

    @ teo: I said I was an ex heroin junkie, doesn’t mean I quit everything. Oh and by the way, the onion rings were cold. You owe me!

  57. soup, this reminds me of the time i had metasex for the first time.

    it was back in ’07 – we were having quite a mild winter over here in the uk – that i met annie. annie was a lovely girl: long orange hair, confident. a kind of radiant glow emanated from her. she had poise and pizzazz by the bucketful. you’d never guess that she’d suffered from a terrible condition throughout her life.

    one night whilst we were washing up after my famous toad-in-the-hole, she broke down and confessed to me about her ailment. its name was ‘clawovula’. i’ll never forget the way my tongue rolled around that word, saying it for the first time.

    clawovula sufferers have a small talon, or ‘claw’ like growth at the back of the cervix which becomes unsheathed, as it were, when the sufferer is sexually aroused. annie had never had sex because of the stigma involved; also, for fear that she might hurt a loved one.

    i told annie to get her gun, that any form of disfigurement/sexual perversion was right up my street.

    in the kitchen, in the bath, atop the coal-scuttle – we made love throughout that moonless january night.

    and let me tell you, soup. you’ve NEVER experienced real sex unless you’ve had your urethra penetrated by a claw whilst penetrating a vagina.

  58. @alordslums: I want to try your famous toad-in-the-hole one of these days, you sound like the one for me!

  59. Ow

  60. Ghost_of_George_Steinbrenner


  61. alord….you win. Everything. wtf did I just read….

  62. And Lamebook sensors my comments.

  63. WOW you guys are hilarious, where the hell do you come up with this.

  64. Fortunately we have life experiences to go off of.

  65. Dear Moms,

    You don’t need to sign off with “mom” every time you leave a message. Your children know your name. WOG.

  66. PeanutButtercup

    @ WOG, maybe they have a sinister desire to display to the friends of their offspring that said offspring has been busted? I wouldn’t know, my mother s not on facebook, thankfully.

    But seriously guys? There are ways of blocking people from seeing certain things on your profile. Not that hard.

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