Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Family Matters

previous post: The Bieber Fever



  1. BEN!

  2. That’s horrible! Looks like “Dad” pissed himself too.
    What a wonderful example for his kids.

  3. 1. sounds like natasha needs a spanking
    2. brian, tell auntie betty to get her own fb profile. unless it was really you playing that crap ass game and tried to cover
    3. guess thomas was spanking a little too much (unlike natasha)
    4. they really celebrate the resurrection of Jesus hardcore.

  4. Thomas is in touch with his inner Dusty Springfield, and then dad ruined the mood.

    Bad dad.

  5. Well, shit.

  6. Brian, I’ll consider giving you my clinging vine, I’ve got one of them at the moment, and it’s starting to get a little worrisome.

    It’s taking up way too much of my time, and needs more maintenance than I’m prepared to put into it.

    I’ll be in touch.

  7. Look at the name of the photo album in the last picture, then the picture itself.
    Most depressing Easter, ever :P

  8. Yeugh, that last one turns my stomach. Natasha sounds like a fud, and the Tom/Thomas relationship is a little odd.


  9. I can’t help but notice dad is also taking a faceplant in his daughter’s boobs. nice one.

  10. You tell her Candice! Stupid, snot-nosed, disrespectful, little brat!

  11. The last one had me in stitches! Reminds me of my family gatherings. Only instead of Dad it’s was Grandma, and she usually passed out in the bathroom naked. Oh the memories…

  12. Christ on a cracker

    Wonder how his dad reacted to the joke. Last time I played a joke on my dad he made die for a bunch of pricks!!!

  13. that last one grosses me out. i don’t want to think about dads and cocks at the same time.
    candice should call the cops and teach that little bitch a lesson.

  14. It’s your own fault, Christ on a cracker. You know that God put your soul in your anus. Letting your soul get dicked is why God is so mad at the gays now.

  15. Dorothy Zbornak

    These are all delightful. But for some reason, I find the emphatic MOM! at the end of Candice’s response to be the icing on the cake o’ win.

  16. Why is everyone on Candice’s side? She sounds like a total bitch. Kicking her child out and saying she’s going to call the cops, and for what? Telling her dad to go die and swearing at them? “Yes officer, I’d like you to come arrest our daughter, she was CURSING!….yes I know….well your murder investigation will have to wait”.

  17. bollywood_rocks83

    XS, as someone who got punished for getting bad grades( a C in my family was considered bad), from grounding to a spanking if I got Fs,let me just say Candice is doing her job! Because she’s a mum, she can’t scold her belligerent child? Isn’t that how we have juvenile offenders? Because their parents didn’t teach them right from wrong?
    I’m 26 and if I said that to my parents, I would get my ass kicked by my brothers and then have the cops called on me.

    I’m on Candice’s side because her twat of a daughter is being a bitch no matter how you spin it. If you still live with your parents, you bloody well respect them or else, move the fuck out,pay your own bills and swear all you want. Having teenage cousins, she probably got denied some gadget or told there was no money for the new XBOX game that came out so she threw a tantrum.

  18. I love how dad is getting a face full of tits. Of course it’s not doing him any good considering he loves cock. What I’m a little worried about is how that guy knows.

  19. Yay, just let the spoiled brats do as they please…good advice XS…not.

  20. Why is it that mothers ALWAYS sign their posts with “MOM” in all caps?? It just looks weird, especially in this one. Looks like she’s yelling at HER mother. “MOM!”

  21. Way to assume you know their total family situation by one facebook status guys.

    Bollywood, in my opinion, they’re both being bitches. And Leslie…seriously? The “not” gag? Are you a second grader per chance?

    As a person that grew up with many friends who had overbearing religous zealots for parents I can tell you first hand that many parents out there need to be told to shut the fuck up. Parents deserve respect when they respect your right to be your own person, you’re not clay for them to mould into whatever they want.

  22. Everyone on the last picture looks dirty. They look if I were to touch them I would probably get a disease. That Natasha seems like a spoil little shit. Its her parents fault. They didn’t give her proper discipline when she was younger. Is it just me or does it seem that Jaclyn is saying,”cum her,” instead of, “come here”?

  23. Nope, not a second grader. I am Ben/Frodo. How’s that you pig fucker?

  24. The person who left that last comment seems annoying. If I went to a bar with them I’d probably leave early without finishing my beer. It’s not their fault. No one told them how irritating most people find whiny bitches. Is it just me, or do you feel like punching them in the mouth and saying, “no one cares what you think?”

  25. Oh Leslie, why did you stand in front of my troll bus? Twas all meant for hawktorn.

  26. Sorry, I didn’t have warning…next time I will move.

  27. hehehe Leslie…

    I’m w/ the majority. Natasha needs a good old fashioned arse-whopping!

  28. I’m talking about a man, not a plant, by the way.

  29. Word, thanks for the clarification. I was thinking you had grafted a Venus flytrap onto your snatch, and were now regretting the decision.

  30. Soup, I think that’s what I might need on there to settle this fucker down.

  31. Word, how can you be surprised that someone would end up so enamored with your charms? That’s the price people like us pay for putting ourselves out there.

  32. Soup, I’m not trying to sound like I love myself, but fuck me as I write this, the guys always get too serious, too quickly, and that “love” word springs out of their mouth so easily.

    I’m a hard ass, even if I really like someone, I never tell them, or I wait forever to say anything. They get so frustrated with me.

    Yes Soup, the price we pay for our fabulousness.

  33. I’ve said it before, I break hearts, and then fix them.

    It’s my livelihood.

  34. Unless you (not “you”, the general you) are exactly in sync, it’s always going to be frustrating. They’re going too fast, you’re going too slow. Blah blah fucking blah.

    I need to become an emperor or something so that I can just have a harem.

  35. Can an Empress have a harem too?
    That sounds more my speed.

    Bottom line though, guess I just haven’t found one that I’m correctly synced with.

    Ahh fuck it, I can still have fun trying.

  36. Get the power, and you can have anything you want. Back before my parents disowned me, I was heir to a massive pornography empire. The world was my oyster. I used to set whores on fire and take bets on who could spooge them out first.

  37. You’re not Hugh Hefner’s son are you?

  38. Nah, that’s soft-core. My world was hard-core and fetish based. Most kids had dolls and Lego’s. I had dildos and speculums.

  39. You should see some of the instruments I get to play with at work.

    An absolute plethora of potential fetish fun.

  40. But I don’t get to play with speculums no more, and for that, I’m sad.
    But I’m happy for you.

  41. I’ll give you an example of how skewed my brain is at work sometimes.

    I’ve often wanted to put the oxygen probe/peg on the guys dick to see if it was a different reading to the finger. Also, would the reading be different when it was on the flop vs when it was hard.

    These are important medical questions.

  42. There’s only so many metal contraptions you can shove up a woman’s cooter before it becomes old hat. I need to find some radioactive materials. I want that shit to glow.

  43. How could you refrain from satisfying your curiosity?

    If I was a nurse/doctor, it would be a race between me getting fired/sued and revolutionizing the world of medicine.

  44. I have access to that shit Soup, I can get you some for weddings, parties, anything you like.

  45. I’ve been running that race for years, I’m still winning, but there’s been a few close shaves old boy, let me tell you.

  46. The Salmon Mousse

    It looks more like “I love Gock” to me. No idea who Gock is, but I’m sure they’re a lovely person.

  47. You Got Doddified

    Dunno how you’re getting a G out of that o__O

  48. Oh Brian you douche. Nice cover up, but it ain’t flying. Check the time difference. And why would you not just delete aunt Betty’s post?

  49. some classy families on here.

  50. lol

  51. XS, I’m guessing you have no children. A parents job is actually to try and “mould” their children into responsible, respectful, law-abiding, contributing members of society. Part of that “moulding” means setting limits, discipline and making your children accountable for their actions. Ok, I’ve stepped off my soap box.

  52. word & soup, you two always have such dynamic conversations. Perhaps we could all go out for dinner and be friends. Too bad I’m across the pond from you guyz :(

  53. @Blaziken
    Word is in Australia and I’m in the States so getting together would be tough, but I think we could work something out. Although I think a liquid dinner would probably serve this crowd best.

    Also, it was a while ago, but I loved your use of “malteasering” as a verb.

  54. Stand-Up Thursdays- John Mulaney-Best Meal I’ve Ever Had

    This is very funny

  55. ………………*cough*

    -Gods investment in you (His son!) was SO great, he could never abandon you!-

  56. .

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