Tuesday, November 10, 2009



previous post: Rocks Off



  1. LOL!!!!!!!

  2. second!

  3. this is goooooooooood

  4. Ohmygoodness, that’s the WORST. I feel so bad for her. Stupid for not checking that it was hers, but still, it’s understandable that she was so excited that she didn’t. Aw. :[

  5. haha, shame. that’s what you get.

  6. Fifth !

  7. But.. but.. How can she know already? Don’t ED decisions come out in, like, December? And regular decisions in April? This could be from April last year of course, though.

    Otherwise, this is hilarious! Although, it sucks for the other sister; I had the same thing when I got into Oxford and my brother didn’t.

  8. I suspect a setup.


  10. Well, she did say she “couldn’t believe it”.

  11. So harsh. But then again, if you can’t even be arsed to read the name on the letter, what do you expect?

  12. If I wanted to be a major downer I would call fake – no way would any kind of caring parent break the news over facebook and embarrass the poor girl.

    But guess what? I don’t care! It’s still funny! In that horrible “I cringe for you” type of way…

  13. ouch

    sounds like something that happened to Andy Bernard before he got in Cornell..

  14. @Mc fifth.


  15. Colossus — if you apply early enough, you can hear back early. I applied to my university in September or October and heard back fairly quickly. Especially if you are above average… so it could be possible.

  16. I go to school with these girls. It’s real.

  17. btw, they’re twins if you people didn’t get it

  18. Why didn’t the dad get on the phone and call her to sort it out?


  19. Because he has a sense of humor and obviously will be relying on Lily to take care of him in his older years, not Steph

  20. @West: Well, yeah, that goes for most colleges, but certainly not for most top tier schools like Cornell, that don’t have rolling admissions. They can’t let you know their decision before the first of December, otherwise Cornell was breaking the Amazing, Divine Ivy League Pact. Well.. yeah. Because that would disadvantage the other schools the applicant has probably applied to.

  21. Tsss.. Everyone knows Cornell is the lesser-Ivy anyways!

    (Hahvahd ftw.)

  22. Must be confusing being a twin.

  23. I call fake. No way would dad and sister break the news over facebook… they obviously live at the same address, wouldn’t they talk in person?

  24. I call bullshit.

  25. Geonardo DiMetrio

    What does the twin thing have to do with anything? Did they put a PHOTO of the girl on the acceptance letter instead of her name? :P

  26. My thoughts exactly GDM….

  27. Fake fake fake….hours between each entry – fakity fake fake

    You cannot fool the robdog

  28. Cpt Brown Sauce Sandwich

    If she can’t be bothered to read the name on the envelope then she doesn’t deserve to go to Cornell…

    personally I bet she didn’t even apply there

  29. So…..Steph says “why dad?” Her sister immediately replies. Steph then takes 1 hour to say “What the F is going on?”

    And dad is sitting my the computer ready to answer


  30. Perceptive Reasoning

    I would guess that since they’re twins, they’re the same age. Therefore they would apply to Cornell at the same time?

  31. Geonardo DiMetrio

    ^ Still not really relevant. They could be a year or two apart in age and this post would still work. Lots of people graduate high school and take a year or two to work and save up money before applying to university.

  32. @Perceptive Reasoning: Or one of them took a gap year, and is, in fact, a year or two older?

  33. I call fake too. You don’t get a “letter” when you get accepted to Cornell – you get a large package in which there are about three different letters all with YOUR NAME on them. It would be pretty hard to miss…

    *from someone who has done the Cornell admissions game*

  34. I liked this site very much until i figured out the most of the posts are fake dammit. get some real shit ffs

  35. This one ‘s got FAKE all over it.
    Nice try.

  36. How embarrassing.

  37. FAKE

  38. This was made by the Facebook conversation generator website.
    The flaw of that generator is that it starts with a random “hours ago”, but then the numerical values descend by the unit of one hour.

    I figured it would only be a matter of time before someone started making conversations with it and submitting it to lamebook. :(

  39. why the fuck does people write which number their comment is???
    It’s fucking stupid, ok? And mr. McFifth, you didn’t even get it right.

  40. Ah, I don’t care if it’s fake. I still laughed.

  41. It does matter to me.
    Faked facebook conversations are just bad jokes…
    bye bye Lamebook.

  42. Haha, yeah it’s a good concept, fake or not.

  43. Soulja Boy Tell 'Em

    “Ah, I don’t care if it’s fake. I still laughed.” Haha, me too.

  44. is their realy sush a thing as a Lamebook genarator???

  45. Definitely a fake – uses a different font, and the font of the Facebook generator. BOOOOO.


  47. This wasn’t made with the Facebook Quotes generator as that automatically blacks out the entire surname – it doesn’t blur it and it doesn’t leave the first letters of the surname even if they are the same (as shown in this post).

    It seems fake because of the insensitivity shown by giving bad news over Facebook, but then maybe not all families and relatives behave in as considerate a way as they should. Not everyone is the same.

    If this is real I kinda think she deserves it for being dumb enough not to check the name, especially if she has a sister who she would have known had applied for the same university.

  48. Ouch!!!

  49. This just makes me want to self harm.

  50. Awww Im sorry.. I feel bad for her… Congrats to her sister.. but damn… I hope she gets in also, so she would be happy like this…

  51. you are reading FAR too much into this, its entirely plausible the dumbass saw an envelope assumed the thing was hers had tunnel vision on the “you have been accepted” then swanned off out to the school to brag to all her friends or whatever idiots do who can’t read do. you cant work on the assumption that every single member of a family is in a household at exactly the same time to get their mail or discuss things.

  52. @tommy

    I bet half the people on this site scream FAKE when they watch Trailer Park Boys. Funny is funny. Personally I hope it’s fake so I can have all the humor to myself.

  53. It’s ALSO possible, if it is real, that they’re just fucking with her and she did get into Cornell.
    It’s a mean joke but still something I’d play on my own kids if I got the chance.

  54. AWWWW Someone ,you are mean :/

  55. (Can anyone else not see the numbers on the Comments?)

    If you knew your twin (or non-twin) sister applied to the same college as you at the same time, wouldn’t the name on the envelope be the first thing you checked for? Wouldn’t you have already played out the “What if only one of us gets in scenario?” in your mind and worried about it?

    Also, I can’t imagine that two candidates to attend Cornell would type like 5th graders. Stephanie didn’t even capitalize “Cornell,” which was the point of the post. Fake.

  56. Branwenn—I can’t see the numbers on the comments, either :-(

  57. Also, I love to shave my muff with old, discarded razors.

  58. i cant see the numbers either.
    i think this is funny.

  59. Why the hell would her parents tell her over facebook? Seriously.

  60. Wow, I have been imitated and mocked. I have indeed arrived!

  61. Why does no one ever reply to anything i say even when I use different names?????????


  63. @ Branwenn

    Maybe it’s not Cornell University, but Cornell College in Mt. Vernon, IA. The college is a small private school with very lax admissions policies as long as your parents have cash.

  64. Vajayjay – nice name.

  65. Geonardo DiMetrio

    “Also, I can’t imagine that two candidates to attend Cornell would type like 5th graders.”

    So you don’t get out much, huh?

  66. OMG LMFAO!!!!! That is so fucking hilarious. Poor kid, but also: LOL!!!!

  67. You’d think that in the HOUR it took her to say “What the eff is going on!!!ELEVENTY!!! after she says “why dad?” that she would’ve checked the name, not begged SOMEONE PLEEEASE!! via facebook tell her what’s going on.

  68. she is so dumn she don’t need college go back to elementary school

  69. that should’ve hurt awfully bad.

  70. Shanna I hope to GOD that your dum*b* ass is joking.

  71. Monica: I’m surprised that Shanna spelled ‘elementary’ correctly in that case!

  72. So, here’s the scenario in my head:

    She gets home, sees an envelope, opens it excitedly. Her sister didn’t tell her she was applying. Maybe her sister is younger, or older, or the same age, but for whatever reason, she decided not to say anything. Maybe she didn’t want to stress Steph out, maybe she thought she wouldn’t get in so why even mention it, etc.

    After finding out, she goes to a friend’s house to celebrate. She periodically checks Facebook. When she sees the first few comments, she’s starting to get nervous, but since she didn’t know her sister applied, she keeps brushing it off. When she gets back on, she’s realized that something pretty bad has happened, maybe even calls her dad, but he doesn’t answer because he feels so bad for her. So he responds on Facebook; maybe as a father, he thinks it’s more private than it really is. Many adults come across as perfectly intelligent in how they craft their sentences, but can’t understand Facebook for the life of them.

    Or . . . it’s fake.

  73. Ehh
    November 10th, 2009 at 4:20 am
    why the fuck does people write which number their comment is???
    It’s fucking stupid, ok? And mr. McFifth, you didn’t even get it right.

    – I agree with Ehh – why do ppl care about this, lol looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosers!!!

  74. Wait. It can’t end here!

  75. FAKE

  76. too bad cornell is a joke and doesn’t deserve to be in the ivy league

  77. Mitbeavers10-

    You think Cornell is a joke? We have the best engineering program in the ivy league, the best hotel school in the world, the only undergraduate climate/meteorology major in the ivy league, #4 business, amazing German and Spanish…. the list goes on and on

  78. so fucking owned

  79. @Cornell728

    You do realize someone’s going to make fun of you for saying that Cornell is the “best hotel school in the world”, right?

    I’m not judging, as I think Cornell is a great school, but people pounce on stuff like that.

  80. @Michlerish: You’re new here aren’t you? Often the reason these people are so lame is because they use Facebook instead of ordinary face-to-face contact where in fact the face-to-face would be easier and take less time (not to mention won’t make the entire ordeal public). That is why this is lame. Plus, this girl has horrible grammar therefore Cornell is lame for accepting her or her sister.

  81. #53 Someone-

    I would so do that to my kids too! April Fools? ha ha ha I am mean that way tho but its all in good fun!!!

    As for the grammar police here….how many of your write like you would in a college class when on facebook or talking to friends?? I damn sure dont! Facebook I do not need to be collegiate and it is my friends reading it not the college! I keep my profile private!!!

  82. I’d do her.

  83. ^ yeah…..and Thera, calm the fuck down.

  84. I always break important and potentially embarrasing news to my daughter on facebook

  85. Poor Steoh.

    But Stephs not getting into cornell

  86. cornell728 get over yourself. you go to cornell…weak. any school that has a school of agriculture and a hotel school is not a respectable institution by ivy standards. you forgot a ranking for cornell: highest suicide rate in the country. that’s just terrific.

  87. Neither of them got into me.
    I am far too awesome for the pair of them.
    They better arm themselves because noone else here will save them.

    Yours Truly,
    Chris Cornell.

  88. Chris Cornell, if it IS the real you (and I have a sneaking suspicion it isn’t):

    You have no authority to speak about anything since you left Audioslave. You had Rage Against the Machine as your god-damn BACKING BAND and you quit. Regardless of whatever “differences” you may have had, you are a moron and should not be listened to on any subject.

    Yours sincerely,


    PS: I didn’t like the Casino Royale theme song either.

  89. Oh, so that’s how it is Tom?

    I am selling out stadiums while the best thing you can do is play Coachella to some crazy hippies, what can you possibly say on this topic?

    Stop stomping on your whammy pedal and learn to make music, noob.

    Your best friend,


  90. Amusing… but, I suspect, faker than a porno orgasm.

  91. Umm….this is what they call…fake.

    It’s probably pulled from that Make a Facebook Convo generator.
    I suspect this because the font is darker than the rest of the entries on this site and the time interval between each comment is 1 hour.

  92. no but really, the funniest part is EnLOLed!

  93. Muthafukin' Maurice

    Fake is lamer than lame.
    Someone please kick off Fakebook.com

  94. dear cornell,
    stay put in the middle of nowhere, ny and stop pretending to be in the ivy league. you’re a joke. hotel school? really?
    The Ivy League

  95. Thesaurapist 13(F)

    @ #72 Quitit

    Your scenario makes a reasonable amount of sense, but I take exception to “So he responds on Facebook; maybe as a father, he thinks it’s more private than it really is.”

    Maybe as a father? They don’t actually lobotomise men after they’ve had children, y’know? This guy has two daughters who are in with a chance of going to a decent school, and he’s using a social networking site to communicate with them – I doubt he’s that stupid.
    The father of teenagers of college age could be anywhere from just below 40 to over 60 – that’s the generation that built the internet, btw. (‘s ok – anytime!)
    And he’s unlikely to have thought his comment was going to be private when he was replying to a status posting where he could see other people’s comments appearing.
    But, hey, duh – he’s a father: most likely reason for the four hour gap between his posts is that’s how long it took him to type the second one.

    Sorry if *your* dad’s a retard.

    Incidentally, I call probable fake too; not sure if it matters though . . .

  96. Feel bad for her

  97. This girl has some real lame parents to tell her this on her wall for all to see…..or i think i want to scream FAKE.

  98. Chris: Great job at proving that you’ve sold out.

  99. Yo, Chris and Tom, you pair of guitar pussies!
    When I engage killzone mode on my signature model, you will all die! Then I will play so fast that the world will spin off it’s axis and the sun will subsequently explode.
    Remember people, I AM YOUR GOD!

    Keep shredding,

  100. LOL. but if I were her family I wouldnt do that OVER FACEBOOK. what has this world come to?! I hate the fact that my mom has a facebook anyways. ugh.

  101. Why all slate Cornell? Sure, you can study agriculture, hoteliery, and even food and beverage management there. It’s pathetic intellectual snobbery to think that’s a bad thing. Why is learning ancient Assyrian or medieval philosophy so susperior? The advancement of study of how to grow food seems far more useful (and liable to save lives) than the ability to hold an argument with Thomas Aquinas. You’re more likely to run a complex multinational business than to bump into an ancient Assyrian. Running farms and businesses is not something only done by stupid people, and the injection of intelligent and well-educated young people into those fields can only be a good thing. The idea that they’re just vocational/professional subjects, not “academic”, and therefore shouldn’t be at a “real university” are rubbish: most good universities have schools of business, medicine, law, education or engineering and those are considered to be perfectly fine professional schools. Why shouldn’t agriculture? It’s highly closed-minded, and relies on perpetuating outdated 19th century stereotypes of what is a “valid profession” for a nice middle class young man.

    For what it’s worth, Oxbridge FTW.

  102. You get out of education what you put into it.
    If you dont put any effort into it, you wont get good grades whether you go to a college where the lecturer is Einstein or a a college where the lecturer is Detective Mittens.

    Maybe the “better” colleges just have more motivated students, you know..

  103. I call bullshit. what kind of assholey dad would break the news to his daughter on facebook.

  104. Wow, way to make that girl feel worse by saying that she didn’t get in Cornell on the world wide web. That news should have been said at home.
    I give the father the “Worst Protecting Your Child from Embarrassment” award.

  105. To be fair, she did kind of have it coming what with the bragging about it on Facebook without checking the name.

  106. parenting win

  107. this is clearly photoshopped…wtf

  108. While jizzing on your mom I screamed fake at this.

  109. You can’t write this stuff, this is amazing.
    HAHAHA what a fail.

  110. Back to the strip club for Stephanie then

  111. and why the fuck did Steph learn about her sister’s acceptance into cornell from facebook?? What a family!

  112. Because her family would have seen that the letter came from Cornell and was addressed to her sister. They would not have opened it to see what it said.

  113. xxxtheworldsgreatestxxx

    HAHAHAHA this is one of the funniest!!!! lmfao!!

  114. … Ouch.

  115. That seems kind of set up.

  116. Why do you consider this mean? I mean, it’s the truth right? He (dad) just stated the facts before there were too many congratulations going around and then she would have had to explain to hundreds more people. Also, she avoids the horrible “oh so when you leaving for cornell” conversations.

    Dad FTW

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.