Friday, January 14, 2011

Embarrassing Images

previous post: Fakebook

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62 Comments

  1. Wow.

  2. I hope it’s breech.

  3. Meh

  4. Abort. Abort.

  5. That first girl looks a little too young to have a facebook. Although people make facebook accounts for their unborn babies and newborns these days so who knows…

  6. @Walter – I don’t. She’ll only have an easy time and get it cut out of her then. I’d rather have her squeal.

  7. 1st – What is the thing on the left….is it Robocop?

    2nd – That baby isn’t cummin yet, it’s just having a wank.

  8. Too bad it’s too late to abort the mother.

  9. The first one is truly funny, but it is for the second that I have removed myself from self-imposed lurkerdom to say:

    If that is not a jest, the lady who has outed herself for imposing fetal alcohol syndrome on that child deserves to have her head bashed open against concrete and all of her organs forcibly donated to science. Yes, the baby must be aborted, at least.

    If facebook has accomplished something good, it is the labeling of those individuals who need to have the wrath of homespun eugenics visited upon them. à la lantern!

  10. Oh, I have forgotten my e. Immersion with anglos is eating my grammar!

  11. Maybe she was only saying she got pregnant because of the alcohol. Not to say she didn’t/doesn’t drink while she’s pregnant, but I think the point she was trying to make was that’s how the baby was conceived. Damn me for giving people the benefit of the doubt. lol

  12. I figured the same FHsGirl. Not nice to let the whole world know that your baby was a mistake though?

  13. I think the first one’s mean as hell. The child obviously hates having it up, it sucks that someone decided to then take it another site where it would be mocked mercilessly.

  14. But it has really helped with your social skils, Pep. O.o

  15. I never could see shit in ultrasound pictures…

    And in all seriousness, Mike’s a fucking moron.

  16. @FHsGirl she might not be that young, it could be an old picture. Although the album has a recent date, so I dunno.

    There should be an IQ test required before you have sex, or at least unprotected.

  17. @gazebo Then we would only be left with a population of people only good for being smarmy on Lamebook, and that would be bland and boring.

  18. @gazebo or maybe an IQ test to determine if people should be “fixed” before they become sexually active. Even protection fails, especially with the less intelligent.

  19. @genitalisman

    Forgive my torrential rage. This is the only the third day of my lithium regiment. I’m sure in a few weeks I won’t hate Americans, the internet, facebook, or be filled with violent imagery…as much as now.

    And forgive me if that is TMI. I’m still in the stage where everything makes me giggle.

  20. Put it on http://seriouslysorry.com/apology/tag/favorite

  21. The album date being recent doesn’t mean the picture is. I know a lot of people who create an album with that day’s date but put a bunch of random old pictures in it.

    But I also know a lot of people who have FB accounts for their young kids, and have it severely limited to see only a few people on their news feeds, a few pictures (including ones of themselves), and mostly they just play games. I don’t see anything wrong with that.

  22. Danielle has a facebook way too soon. Or am I old-fashioned here?

  23. I think that’s an old picture of Danielle. My mom scanned some of my old pictures and put them on facebook. The date isn’t a good guess of when the picture was taken. Plus, she probably wouldn’t be that upset if it was recent.

    Either way.. parents are cruel. LOL.

  24. Yeah, I’d agree with gazebo abut it being an old picture, and Danielle is older now, at least over 18.

    As for the second…no words. :/

  25. Is Pep really Fargis?

    Jeebus man, do you truly think no one gets pregnant when drunk? Our population would be half of what it is, were that the case.

  26. And we already have the, “that guy is that other guy” conversation going again.

    Okay, I’m mad2, and walter, and vincent, and fargis, and yoink, and you as well.

    And I can shoot webs out of my wrists and I’m from the planet Metaluna. And I was Peter the Great and I built the Pont du Gard out of seven bricks with my own two hands in another life as well.

    But seriously, I am the user who started posting under the name pepeaquiles back in the day and you can ask *Walter* or *wordy* for a line bio or something, who I think recognized me in all of my different variations of Pepe and as the pedantic dick who makes fun of anglophones’ ignorance of all Mediterranean tongues (and of history, and science, and really everything). Really, you obviously won’t believe anything *I* say.

  27. Many a loved child has been spawned from a boozed-up encounter. Miss is correct. There wouldn’t be many people getting together if it wasn’t for alcohol. But once most (responsible) women find out they’re pregnant, they stop drinking.

    I must admit to being confused as to what the second picture is implying.

    Oh dear, Pep. Needing to explain yourself again… how bloody tedious for you.

  28. i can vouch for pep on this one – he really is a pedantic dick. although he will occasionally invent an imaginary friend to back him up in arguments, his command of english isn’t flexible enough to accommodate multiple personalities on a long-term basis. he also has a superiority complex on account of being french canadian, which is bizarre considering that they are the laughing stock of the francophone world.

    no need to thank me for this character reference buddy – i know you’d do the same for me!

  29. I promise I will disappear for the weekend after this comment, because I am not expressing my thoughts very collectedly in threads today (I tried to pull a *you* in another), but…

    I am not Québécois, vincent. I was born in Poitiers. I am in America (US, not Canada), because that is where the good graduate schools are. European academia is not a place one would want to be.

  30. “european academia is not a place one would want to be”

    do you have any idea how staggeringly pompous and up your own trou de cul you sound with this derogatory generalization?

    not everyone can afford to pay the exorbitant school fees at american universities. you sound like the worst kind of elitist – not really surprising considering the education system of your home country.

  31. Old pic, they don’t inflict head-gear like that on kids anymore do they ?

  32. haha, I said the other was the last but I can’t ignore this.

    Certain American universities, public and private alike, have endowments large enough that residents and foreigners alike can be *paid* to go to school or get a free education if they come from disadvantaged enough backgrounds and have good enough grades, scores, etc. That is not always the case in France, though it is supposed to be.

    The French education system, aside from being inefficient, is poorer in quality than people believe, yes, and very elitist.

    If you just straight up knew what you were talking about, you’d know that it’s possible for kids from poor families to go to “expensive” (for the rich, not the poor), you would not be calling me an elitist for throwing in my chips with the places that believe in competition.

    Because of that competition, and savy investment decisions, France as whole may have more social mobility than America, but in higher education it is sometimes the other way around.

    In other words, your entire argument fails because of the existence of “need-based financial aid” and “fellowship packages” that have made it such that I have not paid a dime for any of my college or graduation education…*because* I knew that that was possible in America.

    Though I suppose I’m still elitist for pointing out your ignorance?

    Also, professors in Europe in history don’t get the same research opportunities, so why would I pay more for an education there and then just be a teacher my whole life instead of doing the writing I want?

  33. I forgot the word schools in paragraph 4 after “expensive” and I was referring to the invesment decisions of US universities in paragraph 5.

    But seriously, it is financially more possible for anyone in the world to go to the American snob schools than the equivalent in France, despite public ignorance of this even in America. But you’d be right most of the time to presume international students better-off than others. I know that few would be happy to know that it is (US) public funds paying for my stipend/fellowship. But I applied in the same process as American students for the same scholarship funds.

    And I was referring in that “European academia” comment primarily to how much it sucks to be a professor in France or anywhere in Europe than to being one at an American university (but yes, you are right in that I am not looking to be a professor at just any kind of American university, but again that is a matter of competition, not of using resources of family)

  34. Gawd.

  35. ^^ what she said

    Though I laughed at Vincent’s “do you have any idea how staggeringly pompous and up your own trou de cul you sound with this derogatory generalization”
    It’s lovely.

    And I think the Québécois just don’t give a fuck what the rest of the French speaking world thinks. :)

  36. He called me an elitist by implying that I do what I do ’cause of being privileged enough to afford an American education. All that was a failure on my part when I could have more simply replied: “Actually, I am a scholarship boy.”

    Peace out.

  37. That would’ve been a lot simpler, yes.

  38. someone calls you pompous, and you respond with a page long essay about how your academic achievements. congratulations, you’re smarter than some americans. go buy yourself a trophy.

    i’m well aware that many american schools have financial aid schemes. every school needs a couple of blacks and hispanics to put on their prospectus. however, you can’t deny that it is the exception rather than rule. just because it is possible for the occasional genius rags-to-riches wunderkind such as yourself to beat the system does not mean that it is a viable option for the majority of those languishing in the hostile conditions of “european academia”, as you put it with such disdain.

    also, just because someone might not pay to attend, let’s say harvard, doesn’t mean they don’t subscribe to the myth and the aura surrounding it. you, for example, are quite clearly in thrall to a number of hierarchical and generalized misperceptions about higher education.

    i hope this clarifies why you are not only a boastful and self-congratulatory nincompoop, but also a latent elitist and a snob. feel free to post your resume, list of publications and several references in order to prove what a humble and modest little man you are.

  39. Hm, a semi-intellectual word-brawl on FB. Let me get my popcorn, glasses, and a tube of “I can’t Believe” (I still cant, and it is not for the popcorn)

  40. Wait, did you just call me a genius? Thank you.

  41. it was in mocking reference to your unashamed trumpeting of your own academic credentials, but yes, technically i did call you a genius. you can put that one on your mantelpiece.

    hawkbit, perhaps you could spare some of that margarine for pep. he might need it to lube up his bulbous beret-clad head prior to insertion into the camembert-lined chasms of his rectal passage, all the way up to the string of garlic around his neck.

  42. But I didn’t tell you *all* my credentials – I don’t want you to track me in real life and try to steal my aura. Because of where I did my undergrad, I am technically an Ivy Leaguer, though. Do you know what the Ivy League actually is or is it just a mythical presence for you?

    And my favorite cheese is la boulette d’Avesnes. Camembert!? Such a plebe. Go eat your cheddar and monterey jack and memorize the boiling points of common metals for your vocational studies.

  43. Big word big word I have a tiny french sack. Big word flowery filler. I have to pay for sexy big word big word. Mythical aura big word big word, mentally unstable big word. Click click click. I masturbate with my salty, french tears on an American campus big word big word. Look at all the big word big word colors, Lithium big word. Ivy Leauge of Extraordinary douchebags big word.

    And that is all I am seeing.

  44. Aaaahhhh, is that how you hide your lack of rejoinders? You know if you could actually understand those words and follow a paragraph you might catch the references. But I forgot, being ignorant is super cool.

  45. Did you hear that? It sounds like the soft, pitter patter, of a cheese-eating surrender monkey tapping away on keyboard, just to read of his own ego. Mr. Academia should know the logic of someone responding defensively to insults is a sign that the person finds truth in said insults. Doubly so when Mr. Academia was stated to be leaving 3 or 4 “whaa whaaa boo hoos” ago.

  46. Seriously, you’re clutching at straws here. “cheese-eating surrender monkey”? Wow. Did you ever think that someone insults another on the internet back and forth for entertainment? Oh, I forgot again, you told me you fail at logic.

  47. All I have to say now is

    L-O-L

  48. @Pep

    I have read all of your rantings of the day and I would like to say STFU until you find your medicinal peace….I didn’t comment until this one in which you identified yourself as one who mocks “anglophones’ ignorance of all Mediterranean tongues (and of history, and science, and really everything).”

    Why then would you choose to go and study with them? Do you think they will be impressed by your arrogance or are you going to try to reeducate them.

    Dammit, I shouldn’t have asked a question. Now I will have to read Pep’s inane response.

  49. Crap – I asked two!!!! Just forgot the correct punctuation mark at the end of the second one. Now I’m in for a grammatical lecture also!

  50. pep – you’re right, i have no real concept of what the ivy league is. i just heard the term used in some of those fancy american films on my tiny black and white tv, and it sounded like something all of us intellectually impoverished europeans should aspire to.

    anyway, must dash. i’ve got a processed cheese sandwich to wolf down before getting back to my vocational training course, which incidentally makes me an inferior human being to pep in his shiny ivory tower. what is it you study again? post-colonial semiotics of your own pelvic colon?

  51. lol – i just noticed the unintentional pun in my last sentence. i’m sure pep will appreciate that, what with his huge brain capacity and his fondness for his own lower intestinal tract.

  52. “cheese-eating surrender monkey”

    That just made my night.

  53. Same joke repeated a million times since uttered on the Simpsons in the 90′s and *that’s* what stood out?

    Let’s hope no one hands you a fork. You might stab yourself in the heart.

  54. I’ve never watched The Simpsons, bucko. For me, what was amusing about it was that it was you to whom it was directed. It wasn’t the only thing that stood out, but noting how unbelievably pompous, self-obsessed, and deluded you are, would have just been stating the obvious.

  55. How dare you call me an elitist! I am an Ivy leaguer you pitiful peasant! Ever heard of it? I can tell you what region of southern france that my favorite cheese comes from! Are these the actions of a pompous elitist? If you continue to address me as such, I will be forced to write you a 40 page essay detailing the education system in America and comparing it with that of France, Good day sir!

  56. It’s funny to go rochambeau with vincent because he’s in on the joke – he “gets it”. Some of you on this site seem to look to strangers on the internet for serious emotional closeness.

    I can’t even begin to approach that level of genuine creepy, mr. jones.

    If you wanna drive everyone with a sense of fun off the site, go ahead. That legal fund is doomed – for real.

  57. I jest, I jest good sir! I do give my most sincerest of apologies for not ‘getting it’. I do say you should give it a try though ol’ sport, you would be amazed how much genuine creepy you can achieve when you try at it. Perhaps with a few more years of time in an Ivy League school and debating the quality of fromage and it’s origins will help you to do so.

  58. ah, how cute.

    Seriously, I’ll teach you a little trick: the next time you talk to your therapist – not knocking you for that, a lot of people have one, but to talk about REAL SHIT – why don’t you bring up that time you saw a chink in the armor of “that guy on the internet”.

    See if he thinks you’re talking about “that guy’s” feelings, or yours. The word ‘creepy’ has a meaning, mr. jones. vulnerability is more synonymous with it than dickishness.

    Your flames are inauthentic because you have a small weeping asian woman in your heart and no fire.

  59. Ah you got me, you win the internet war. Congratulations, now you can return to your debate with a sense of smug victory in your heart and I’ll return to hiding that weeping asian woman. (your metaphors are magical by the way) Your sense of superiority is intact, you are the master of flames on the internet, I bet the women go wild for you when you tell them that.

  60. Ever heard of ‘white flight?’ When white people leave a neighbourhood because black people are starting to move in. What’s happening to LB right now is analogous to that; the witty comedians have left, and the essay-writing, thesauruses-for-dicks, american-bashing, smug-europeans have moved in.

    The dark ages of LB are at a climax.

  61. Also, I don’t have a therapist….maybe you were right about not being able to achieve any level of creepy…I shouldn’t have put so much faith in you.

  62. Ah, you got me good: I could have sworn it was you who mentioned that before, but you’re right, it was dukey, if I remember correctly now.

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