Friday, February 5, 2010

Dumped

previous post: It’s Shocking

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117 Comments

  1. My ex used to do that from time to time, but I didn’t have the heart to mention it. I really don’t understand why/how it happens. Personally, I like watching it go down and then high fiving myself in the mirror.

  2. Was your toilet faulty? My boyfriend’s toilet tends to not work in his shithole (no pun intended) apartment. I try to avoid using it at all costs.

    That’s so gross though!

  3. ok, this is cruel. true, but cruel nonetheless.

  4. Tim FTW!

  5. I think you have a problem if you can’t flush a toilet.

  6. How hard is it to flush?

  7. It’s cruel, but four times? Come on. If it happened even once I think I’d be too embarrassed to even go back there, let alone do it four times.

  8. lmfao this is classic. Love Love Love! Too funny.

    We have a turd burglar at my house. I am not sure how we started referring to the culprit that way (as nothing is being burgled but rather something is being delivered) but said culprit, 9 yr old daughter is main suspect, will take a massive dump and then leave it in the bowl. There is nothing nastier than walking into the bathroom and finding someone else poo staring up at you.

    Lisa deserves ever bit of ridicule she gets, my burglar is 9. Lisa is a grown butt woman and should be capable of flushing. If she is not concerned about bf’s roommates seeing her delivery then she should flush. A bit late at this point to try and pretend she’s all dainty and offended.

  9. agreed yaya!

  10. Well done Lisa. 4th times a charm.

    and Tim, “uncooked meatloaf” LMFAO.

  11. I’m just so grateful there are no pictures of the toilet contents.

  12. Elizabeth Bathory

    This *is* classic.

  13. I am sort of wishing there were a phot of the uncooked meatloaf. Off Topic (but not too far) I now need to get a new menu planned for dinner tonight because I SWEAR TO YOU I was actually planning to cook a meatloaf for dinner tonight and that ain’t happening now.

  14. Omg, yaya, I think I might be sick.

  15. Ha ha. It’s funny because girls don’t poo.

  16. Of course we do, Soup! We also FLUSH!

  17. No you don’t! LALALALALALA! I can’t hear you.

  18. Well shit… cook that meatloaf up!! I’m starving

  19. This is like the joke about the baby and the blender: gross, cruel and funny.

  20. @yaya: I think I have a girl crush on you!

    Lisa. Lisa, Lisa, Lisa… (tisk sounds follow) Flush girl, it isn’t that hard. I love Stephan’s relationship post, that’s the best!

  21. @Soup, you are correct. We pull rose petals out of our belly buttons.

  22. Epic. And the relationship status change at the end is just icing on the cake.

  23. Wow that girl Lisa is disgusting! At least have the fuckin decency to flush the toilet after you take a major shit in another persons house!This is so lamebook worthy lol

  24. @eenerbl right back atcha on the girlcrush. I think you, me and @Penny would have a blast in RL.

  25. @yaya: yes, but we must remember to wear our “uniform”, tight tees and panties.

  26. @yaya

    ummm, if I promise to be really quiet and hate men… can I come?

  27. What’s the point in dropping the kids off at the pool if you aren’t gonna let them ride the waterslide at the end?

    Well done on the dumpage steven, I wouldn’t want my kids to have a mom like her either, not surprised the relationship went down the crapper…
    Ok, i’ll stop with the toilet humour and crap jokes now… ok, now :D

  28. wow why did she get so mad? shes stupid im glad her and stephen broke up :p

  29. Shit stories never get old!

  30. I’ve learned so much from this website…what a “shocker” is…what “dropping the kids off at the pool” means…that flushing is a must…

  31. @ yaya, eenerbl and penny

    If you gals go out we expect status updates on facebook from it

  32. You mean as in leave the house? It’s been raining for days here, that’s why you’ve seen so much from me.

  33. I used the saying ‘dropping the kids off at the pool’ the other day cuz I didnt want to say shit in front of all the kids that were at my house. My 5 year old son loves to go swimming and perked up when he heard that and said ‘I wanna go too… Can I play with them daddy?’ I nearly shit myself laughing

  34. @mcowles I won’t speak for Penny or eenerbl but I for one am NOT a man hater. I adore men, I think penis is great. I’m lover, not a hater.

  35. i was eating chili when i read this.

  36. lol @PannyLane as far as the rain, I feel you. It was supposed to be snow here in central IL but it rained all night instead, just recently turned to snow. I am out of here, have a great weekend all.

    Oh and @slimjayz – that last one got a cackle out of me and my coworkers just gave me a funny look. Nice.

  37. OH! Come out of the closet! lol I’m REALLY dense today. I like a few men, most I hate. You can blame my father if you like, I do.

  38. I don’t hate men either, except really creepy old guys.

    @slimjayz: I plan on digitally documenting the whole experience, I’ll send you copies.

  39. This is so funny. Reminds me of the lamebook post about the guy whose poop looked like he “shot a chocolate easter bunny in the head”. I don’t get why Lisa got so mad, I figured that if you bothered to poop and not flush it meant you were proud of what you did.

    Seriously.

  40. I hate men.

  41. Thank god Lisa didn’t feature in 2 girls 1 cup or that would have been an even more diabolical porno.

  42. Maybe he gives her treats when she makes a good one…

    ….can’t believe I just wrote that.

  43. Is anyone else really annoyed by the fact that Lisa can only talk in ALL CAPS. She deserved to be dumped.

  44. @Chicky monkey: I guess Lisa is a FULL CRAPS kind of girl

  45. hahaha i thought this was great, then i got to the end and thought it was fuckin _amazing_!!! steven went from being “in a relationship” to “single”, hahahahahaha cool as fk! tim’s cool too, lisa just needs training (to flush, to type, to grow up etc) hahahaha

  46. @MikeysRight: Because, so my little sister tells me, girls don’t go #2. I beg to differ watching her grow up, but I’m probarbly not allowed to tell that.

    This is good shit though, chuckles all around.

  47. eernbl..umm..I shouldn’t ask this for fear of an answer I don’t want to hear but, can you define a creepy old guy?

    Stephan won…once is an accident..4x is “doesn’t give a crap”..well figuratively, of course, about the tenants.

  48. Surely the fact that Lisa doesn’t flush, and that Steven’s roomate left a note telling her to flush, CANNOT be the only reasons they broke up, right?

    If so, I never knew twelve year olds could share an apartment.

  49. @Mykl42: My old boss would qualify under that category, let me explain: He’s in his late 50s, long gray hair in a pony tail, and every time I see him he gives me a kiss on the check that seems to linger a little too long, and I can’t pull away. He makes me feel very uncomfortable. That is a creepy old guy.

  50. *house. Gah.

  51. *Cheek. Oops.

  52. What a pair we make.

    …that’s creepy old man, right?

  53. MikeysRight is right…Mikey’s right.

  54. That’s fucking hilarious

  55. No one has to put up with Lisa’s shit anymore

  56. Lisa should be embarrassed that boys found out she poos…not angry. I don’t completely understand though, as a dainty girl, I only excrete a sweet flower-like whisper of a fairy fluffy.

  57. @msjessiemeghan: Refer to #21. Rose petals out of the belly button!

  58. @ Penny Lane – So far you’ve learned about the shocker and dropping the kids at the pool…. go look up dirtpipe milkshake and then today will have been truly educational for you.

  59. @eenerble
    ahh yes. I try not to give away too many of our secrets, I would rather men just assume the rose petals appear like magic!

  60. yaya is lying about not hating men…our pillow fights have been awkward at best since she found out I was a guy, and she refuses to trade bras with me now.

  61. Whew, I’m safe, lol. My daughter defines creepy old guy as anyone my age that breathes air in her presence :)

  62. My basic rule is never date anyone younger then your oldest child. Appreciate but, don’t leer. Let’s be honest would I really want to have a serious discussion about the merits of Lady Gaga with a 19 year old? LOL

  63. @Sensible Madness: That’s because she knows she’ll look better in it then you. Can’t say I don’t blame her. Only yaya and I share our bras.

  64. @ Sensible Madness…your site simply MUST be published when complete. I’d buy it.

    @eenerbl..grrr baby :) …( profile pic at your site- channeling Austin Powers)

  65. I’m guessing Steven submitted this? Good job Steven :D

  66. My brother does this all the time. We share a bathroom and he’ll secretly take a dump and leave the seat down. When I am half asleep and I have to pee at two in the morning, I’ll go in there and lift up the seat to find his percolating mess. Poor Lisa though. For a woman, this is the embarrassment equivalent as when a politician is caught in an affair.

  67. I’ve just never understood why people don’t flush, be it in public or the dorm or anywhere. It just makes no sense!

  68. @Mykl42 find me a publisher who will pay me a huge advance and it’ll get done a lot sooner!

  69. Note to self: When you get home from work, eat first, then and only then check out lamebook…….

    Lisa, honestly? Four times? This was mean, but deserved…

  70. Lisa is filthy. and that’s that

  71. Hahaha! OMG! Marry me Tim!

    Lisa, you’re a dirty skank. Flush the f*cking toilet after you do your business, you filthy pig!

  72. Look at that piece of shit!

  73. Maybe she does flush, she just has strong floaters!

  74. Lisa is not only gross…she is very dumb. There are 3 guys living in a house and she doesn’t (at least on Facebook) immediately deny it was her that had the colossal BM?
    Deny, deny, deny…especially when it comes to leaving enormous dirt snakes unflushed at your boyfriend’s place.
    If I were her boyfriend I’d drop her for this even if the roomates didn’t ‘raise a stink’ about it. Gross! Chicks don’t do that!!

  75. @ Jeffrey93: “Chicks” don’t have bowel movements? Better not hang around my place!

  76. SadieM you sound like a burping, farting, beer swilling kinda gal.

  77. I forgot to mention I like that in my girls.

  78. this made my day…

  79. ROFLMAFO!!!

    Pure gold, bros before hoes that take mad dumps and don’t flush haha

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  81. seriously zimmerman? lame

  82. Suck it Zimmerman.

  83. get lost zimmerman

  84. I want Zimmerman to startle the shotgun granny. Fuck off Zimmerman go hock your shit on ebay.

  85. wwwwwwwwwwwooooooooooooohahahahahahah this made my day

  86. Wow! That’s a lot of w’s, o’s and ah’s…

  87. Adults=people who flush toilets.

    Lisa=ew.

  88. Hilarous, best lamebook post for a while! I admire that guy’s friends

  89. It makes sense that Lisa typed in caps, she’s used to getting things out of her system in big and apparent ways.

  90. I guarantee that Lisa doesn’t wipe well either. Check her panties.

  91. lisa practicly asked to be dumped

  92. Uncooked meatloaf made me laugh pretty heartily. Lisa is gross.

  93. Cruel, but funny! I would love to hear an update on the story. he he

  94. Good! Who the hell doesn’t flush the toilet after taking a shit? ESPECIALLY at someone else’s house. That’s some silently hostile behavior, right there. What a selfish, disgusting little bitch.

  95. If it was one of those times when you’re at someone elses house and the toilet just refuses to put the right amount of force into it’s flush, then I would feel sorry for her. There’s nothing more humiliating than realising that it’s just not gonna go down. But four times?! That’s intentional.

  96. funny shit!
    @33 slimjayz i too burst out laughing at that comment!
    yaya my 4 year old daughter is somewhat of a turd burglar herself i feel your pain!

    stupid stupid Lisa should have flushed or denied all knowledge! totally gross

  97. THis is a clear cut case of “I’m so hot, I don’t even have to deal with basic human decency”.

  98. I don’t have the balls to shit at my boyfriends place. If I ever feel natures call I simply say I have to grab something from my car and then run across the street to gas station.

  99. @justbeingsmiley: you’re making life harder than it needs to be. If you want to preserve the illusion that you don’t poop, the best way to do it is poop in the yard and blame it on the dog. If your boyfriend doesn’t have a dog, try crapping in the cat’s litter box. If he has no pets at all, your only hope is to create a diversion. I suggest setting the house on fire. With any luck, you’ll be able to do your business between the time the smoke alarm goes off and the time the house is entirely engulfed in flames.

  100. Serial turd burglars are sick, passive-aggressive freaks who get a thrill from the thought of grossing someone out with their special masterpiece.

    Long ago, I worked as a maid for a summer, and one day during a job I needed to use the client’s toilet. I created the biggest log of my life and it jammed the toilet. I panicked and called the other maid working with me for help. When she saw my handywork, she exclaimed, “Girl, what the hell have you been eating, two-by-fours?” That still makes me laugh.

  101. Lisa needs to get herself an eating disorder, actually nevermind, an unflushed toilet full of puke isnt any better.

  102. *isn’t

  103. @SensibleMadness Not true, if I’d known you were the kinda guy who wants to share my bra I’m happy to oblige. Goddess knows any excuse to lose my bra is a good one. I have been distant because finding out you were anatomically male got me and my gud gud all in a twitch, lol

  104. BTW off topic, but again, not too far. After my dinner plans went awry thanks to Lisa, I ended up making horshoes for dinner instead.

  105. We had a phantom crapper at my work. We would walk into the stall and find poo all over the actual toilet seat. Happened 3-5 times a week. It took us months, but we finally found out who was doing it.

  106. and then what happened jtibbs? did he get fired?

  107. I wish. He still has a job, but cleans up after he “hovers”.

  108. wow that steven lisa situation .is comedy

  109. This is the funniest thing I have read on lamebook. Love it!

  110. Tremendous … one of the all time great lamebook posts.

  111. Surely the fact that Lisa doesn’t flush, and that Steven’s roomate left a note telling her to flush, CANNOT be the only reasons they broke up, right?

    If so, I never knew twelve year olds could share an apartment.
    I really hope not… then again she deserved it. ha ha

    On another note, if she doesn’t flush doesn’t that make it obvious she most likely doesn’t wash either… So so disturbing…

  112. FAKE…Women don’t poop. DUH!

  113. OMFG Mercure! LMFAO!!!
    enerbal, Yaya, U Guys rock!! hehehe

    n yea unless d toilets skanky its hard to leave it all there unintentionally.. even my exs toilet was shit n I could flush it.. WTF!!??? n d break up at d end LOLOLOL made my day XD

  114. Wow, do you really type that way? I hope for the sake of everyone around you that you are in actuality literate and that you were attempting to be clever because this is lamebook.

  115. Girls who poop are just very convincing transvestites. Everyone knows that REAL girls never poop, burp, fart, or even mention those words out loud.

    Now if you’ll excuse me I have been out of the kitchen too long already. ;)

  116. I bet she pooped, then took a shower to try and cover up the smell. And obviously forgot to flush. Maybe she meant to flush after the shower?

  117. Fantastic!

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