Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Douche Day

previous post: The Lamebook Book!

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55 Comments

  1. BEN!

  2. This is not worth of a STEVER!

  3. They Call Me UPERMAN!

  4. Weakest Lamebook I’ve seen in a while.

  5. ^ Agreed.

  6. john1 is smart
    john2 is a little misguided
    joan jett at the bottom there is a complete waste of space and i hope she gets eaten by a PYTHON, BITCH!!

  7. AngelsNDragonflies

    LOL @6

    The 21 year old’s bio makes her sound like she has a whole lot of class and more… “I am popular, and guys tend to fall in love with me.” No honey they just want to get in your pants.

  8. First one is Machine Head lyrics right? I have to say that posting lyrics to your status is far more lame than even writing poetry to your status.

  9. I don’t care what you fink! I’m a bitch an I don’t care what other people fink! That’s why I wear designer labels.

  10. Hmmm… so I guess the psycho hose beast got a job as an executive at a bank when she was 18? Straight out of high school into a six figure salary? I’m assuming that’s how you buy a Lexus and overpriced shwag like Louis Vuitton by that age. I’m sure her daddy or her knee pads have nothing to do with these achievements.

    Cute little diamond-encrusted knee pads. They’re Chanel! Muahzz, bitches!

  11. Third one sounds like the bio of Beverley Hills Bitch Barbie – now with articulated bitch slap action!

  12. Bucky FTW

    And John’s kinda reminds me of an old South Park episode:

    “I’m UPER! Thanks for asking!”

  13. Bucky I was wondering too about the straight out of high school into a six figure salary- her language tells me that it’s the knee pads!

    And Louis Vitton?! In this day and age! all LV says about the owner is: ” I’m insecure, dumb as shit, and I need this purse to make me feel better.”

  14. WTF does the “(8)” mean?

  15. Best word to describe girl in third one is “boring.”

  16. this is like chinese whispers. where is a six-figure salary mentioned? maybe she steals credit cards or something…?

  17. Bucky, if performing blowjobs actually got you a job, I’d be employed right now.

    But I hate #3. I hope her face gets eaten by MONKEYS.

  18. oh, and walter – i think john is advertising his age to potential suitors. just a ballpark figure, y’know.

  19. My guess is that (8) is a ‘Super Hero’ emoticon, but it reminds me more of ~(8^(|)

    I would wager that #3 has the world’s only negative credit score.

  20. Paint_my_nails_please

    #17 is uper!

  21. The Salmon Mousse

    When you type (8) on MSN messenger, it appears as a little music symbol, so I guess he’s trying to indicate that they’re lyrics (from my very limited rap knowledge, I think it’s an eminem “song”).

    Either that or it’s short-hand for “I’m a douche”.

  22. yup, the lyrics are from (S)Uperman by Eminem

  23. 1. John’s a hypocrite.

    2. No guy should ever put a little heart after the word ‘hair’. Nor should they do any of this shit, thinking about it. But it was that heart that clued me in. I was hating this guy before it was cool to hate him.

    3. Someone saying ‘I don’t give a fuck what people think of me’ usually means one of two things.
    a. They don’t give a fuck what people think of them. In which case fair do’s, be on your way.
    2. They very much give a fuck what people think of them, and before long will be along on Lamebook bitching out those people who’ve been mocking them (and I ain’t being here for another one of those). In which case fair do’s, though you’re a liar, and I don’t talk to liars.

    uperb.

  24. the last post was probably a fat girl, so she has to hide her insecurities in louis vuitton and sunglasses. or like the guy above me said she very much does give a fuck about what people think of her so she has to buy all this shit for her own insecurities. Or shes lying about that car and the guys that fall in love with her.

  25. what is that thing on the back of his head even supposed to BE?

  26. superman symbol

  27. Oh god. I was wondering how long it was going to take for some idiot from Johnston to get on here… That first line about already having an opinion is true. (Almost) every.single.girl. from Johnston, Rhode Island is exactly like this… the guys are douchebags too. Want proof? Pauly D from that show Jersey Shore is from Johnston.

    Horrible.

  28. Oh. How pleasing it would be to watch someone piss on that self-absorbed bitch.

  29. …That sounded better in my mind.

  30. Are you sure?

  31. Probably already been said, but I’m pretty sure that Paul’s Facebook “poem” is actually a Machine Head song.

  32. katypants, you’re from Johnston, aren’t you? I’m sorry you live near that girl… So, so sorry. Maybe on a wet rainy day, you can imagine that the next bimbo blonde you drive past that’s beside a puddle is her as water soaks her. Then you won’t feel guilty.

    Anders, you would like that, wouldn’t you? You kinky bastard, lol.

  33. MACHINE HEAD – CRASHING AROUND YOU

    GREAT SONG

  34. Something tells me that when the bank “Crazii” works at does their next audit, the end result will be jail time for embezzlement.

    She’ll learn all about bitches in prison.

  35. nuff, no no no. Admittedly, I am a few towns over, but those girls… ugh… their legend precedes them (and they know it). Thankfully the rest of RI hasn’t been infected quite yet. But being that our state is all of 60 miles, end to end, the end may be near. In the meantime, I will await rainy days with a smile on my face and my speedometer rising heading for the bimbo near that puddle. Guilt-free. :D

    And Anders, you made me giggle with that last bit.

  36. I dunno about the third one. When she says that she works for a bank, I’m guessing shes a teller or something, not some sort of sort of executive. Also a good rule of thumb is that if you describe anything about yourself or your actions as “classy”, you probably aren’t

  37. That’s the most whacked out Superman symbol I’ve ever seen.

  38. Wow, that chick has a pretty high opinion of herself.

  39. Lol @ Anders. xD

    I am ashamed to say I tried to pull the tough/crazy girl act off once, too. When I was about 13. Which is how old the last one sounds to me.

  40. she wears her sunglasses to hide her face…
    cause she looks like a dog…
    oh yeah and she’s cooler than y0u…
    dont ever forget that!!

  41. Who is BEN?

  42. What’s with people that have to announce that they don’t give a fuck? Savannah in the last post did it and then this brat in designer shit is going on about it, too. If you don’t give a fuck, then you shouldn’t have to announce it. It oozes from every pore in my body that I don’t give a fuck (when I chose to act like that), but I don’t have to announce it on Facebook like a lameass.

  43. God I HATE girls like this. Lets see if I can translate the slut-babble in the last post…

    “I don’t give a fuck” = She’s a foul-mouthed whore who everyone hates because she’s such a self-obsessed cunt, but she don’t care because er’ryone else is just jealous.

    “I am INDEPENDENT” = She lives in her parents’ basement/attic/guest house & pays no bills of her own(which is how she can afford all that gaudy shit that no truly independent bank teller could afford in real life), but considers it ‘living on her own’ cause she doesn’t actually live IN THE HOUSE with her parents.

    “I’m a natural blonde” = Her real hair color is light to medium brown but looks kinda blondish when the sun hits it, but you’ll never see it cause she bleaches it.

    “I have the most amazing boyfriend, MC on the MIC” = She’s dating a Situation-wannabe Guido with stupid hair & an inflated sense of self-esteem, but he buys her stuff & puts up with her shit so it’s ok.

    “Guys tend to fall in love with me” = She’s a slut. Buy her a drink & you’re in.

    “I love my [etc etc etc], I bought it with my hard earned money” = She found a place that sells imitation designer purses at the flea market, but they look real enough to pass off as real which is great cause no fucking WAY does a damn bank teller make enough to afford a real Chanel purse.

    “I rock designer shades to hide my face cause I’m cooler than you” = She has no personality, self-worth, or redeeming qualities at all so she hides behind brand names to feel relevant. Just like everyone else who spends $500 on a pair of plastic sunglasses with a cutesy logo on the side.

    “I cruise in a GS Lexus which I bought as a birthday gift to me” = She paid her dad a couple thou for his old ’97 Lexus. It has cracked leather seats, the sunroof is stuck open, and the muffler rattles, but hey, it’s still a LEXUS!

    “Crazii” = She has a death wish, because anyone who spells words like this deserves to be tortured. Seriously.

    Fucking cunt.

  44. krasivaya_devushka

    How embarrassing to the rest of us 21 year olds. :(

  45. has anyone realised that he wrote “uperman” because he wanted to include his hair in the writing? and whos Ben and steve?

  46. Dave, look at posts from a few months back…

  47. Aussie, same to you about ben :-)

    Steve/Stever is nobody, he’s just pulling a kanye on Ben

  48. The sad thing is I know the last line from the last post is from some rap song…”Cooler Than Me”…AIGSDHKJLFK

  49. darlin’ even if you COULD buy class….you clearly haven’t made your purchase yet.

  50. hm. i wonder if that is where our bank bailout money went. to buying her designer clothes and a car. and likely “bought for myself as a birthday gift” translate into “daddy puts money into my trust fund and i withdraw it at my own will.”

    also, daddy likely the owns the bank where she “works.”

  51. JacksSmirkingRevenge

    AAAHHHHH!!!!! People like #3 make me want to blow my brains out. Shut it and get over yourself already.

  52. i know #3!!! lmao

  53. @greggo,

    I’m sorry.

  54. T Rex on a Segway

    I submitted the Bio for girl #3. We are not friends but I know who she is… She’s so “cool” that she told someone that we work with that she wanted to kick my a$$ because I was friends with her ex-boyfriend that we work with… I didn’t even know they dated and I have a boyfriend…..

    She’s not a teller, she works in a call center… She is a total bitch and this bio did not surprise me at all… There is NO way she could afford all those things based on what we make there… She has to either get money from daddy or on her knees like what was previously mentioned…

    @43 – You pretty much hit the nail on the head….

  55. The (8) is either like someone already said a way to denote music, or it’s an 8ball symbol. this either means he plays pool or buys large quantities of powdered drugs (most likely the latter)

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