Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Doin’ Time

previous post: Winsday Part: 1

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43 Comments

  1. Jess FTW.

    I don’t get the top one, do Denny’s do a grand slam meal or something?

  2. First.

    I wish I knew someone who was “lockd up” so that I could update my Facebook status thusly.

  3. Damnit.

    Beat to first by a knobjockey. Story of my life.

  4. Jess wins.

  5. @knob

    Dennys has grand slam meals they offer… Nice funny by Sean

  6. Guess the race??

    LOL @ grand slammer.

  7. Sean, you’re my hero!

  8. Chelseas “huge surprise” is the missing silver when her “lil prisoner” gets out.

  9. Ive worked at Dennys…SERIOUSLY NOTHING worth stealing from there!!!

  10. @cheebee – yeah, I was about to ask what the hell you could steal from Denny’s…
    “Im a Top Notch High Dolla type of bitch” Classic. I’m getting that tatted on my ass

  11. Hmmm,

    There was a guy in town here that robbed a few pharmacies and a few restaurants around town. He was finally caught because of the 6 places he robbed, the ONLY one that had a decent surveillance system was the Denny’s that he robbed.

    Interesting…

  12. “lil prisoner”???? that’s such a sexxxxiiii lil nickname.

  13. If my bf was lockd up from steeling from a Dennys I would not broadcast it. I’d lie and say he fucked a goat or something. That would be much more hardcore. At least then he woulda got something out it. Eggs and sasage, eh. Cum, YEA!!

  14. Kendra is on here a lot

  15. when did fucking a goat become hardcore?

  16. Huh, Chelsea can spell words like “jealous” and “swapped” but she can’t spell the easier ones? o.e

  17. @ retorq, i’d guess white, black, white.

  18. when did stealing from Denny’s?

  19. Why do assbites get rewarded with sex?

  20. @ pennylane
    Cuz chics dig assholes… Nice guys finish last and never get laid

  21. Kendra confuses me.

  22. @Penny Lane & slimjayz
    neither do nice girls. ugh.

  23. Let me translate these for you nice young people.

    Dee: Upset over small matters. My spouse is incarcerated.
    Mark: Trey has been transported to the house of correction? What transpired?
    Dee: Burglarized the breakfast house known as Denny’s at the location controlled by the street gang.
    Sean: (This comment is filled with win.)

    Kendra: My head happens to be downcast for that is how I am feeling. I have just been informed of the most atrocious news of all my years. He shall spend the excess of his essence confined behind barricades. I released 8 years of life, yet he gives up all of them. Condemnation. I shall still support him.

    I am terminating the relationship from my first male companion, and letting the second one have his spot. I am surprised, I sure am a high class whore who doesn’t care about previous boyfriends as long as I can get another one to buy me stuff. My boyfriends have the cash to pay for this gold digger.

    Chelsea: My intimate partner that is imprisoned has informed me that his large surprise when he is released includes spending his life with me, and that I will show great acrobatic skill and perform a backflip! Pondering, yet I think I know what it is.
    Terri: I informed you, did I not? Here comes another upcoming engagement, oodles of fun!
    Jess: That is truthful! I offer you the engagement ring he gave to me.
    Chelsea: Beloved friend, I refuse to take the ring that he presented to you, comprehend? Now I suggest that you flee and stop acting so immature. He exchanged unmentionables for your ring and is buying mine from a reputable jewelry chain and anything I desire, price is no object. Aww, as I mock you I wonder if you are teeming with envy, because as you know, I do not want to waste brain power thinking of such a thing.
    Jess: (Too lazy to say)

    Sorry that was so long, boredom does stupid crap to me.

  24. Geez, Beanstalker, eloquent but rather prolonged.

  25. @Beanstalker:

    Jess: I propose that you women silence each other, what you seem to be angrily conversing about is floccinaucihilipilification, or you have no other objectives to stimulate yourselves, with this generation of being child-bearers and the like?

    For an amateur, is that acceptable?

  26. jess is my serious hero, i think i want to marry her.

    and what sean said was pretty funny too :p

  27. oh yeah, and did someone REALLY go all the way back to July just to turn what Kendra said into lamebook? thats ridiculous

  28. I feel sad; why can’t I have a boyfriend in jail?? Guess I’m just not that type of high class top dollar bitch. :(

  29. they say all the good ones are taken or gay. but i guess they forgot to mention where the rest of the good ones are: in jail.

    damn, i need to go get me a jail man.

  30. Slimjayz, trust me, I was also talking about female assbites.

  31. Penny… Well I bite female ass… Does that count?

    And honestly I think its that nice, quiet people give off a vibe of being boring… While this is definately not true it does carry some weight… I remember I dated this one chic… If you heard her talk on the phone you would never go out with her(myself included)… Very monotone, deep for a gal and spoke with intelligence… Well turns out she was funny, sweet and crazy in the bedroom… But I think most walk away without learning all of that

  32. whatchu_say and jelly – Here you go! http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/

  33. Slimjayz, the intelligent and boring girls I’ve met were all the same. Very nice, funny, and wild.

  34. OMG! sites like that exist?! nice.

  35. Jess FTW!

  36. I posted kendra back in july…it just got posted now for some reason though…

  37. @jelly – I suspect the problem could be your spelling. You must try harder to remove vowels, superfluous ‘c’s before ‘k’s, ‘h’s after ‘t’s, ‘g’s on gerundives and to replace ‘y’s with ‘i’s. If you could also remove some punctuation and start employing vocabulary such as ‘bitch’ that might help too ;-)

  38. The first one cracked me up. I did wonder what one would steal from a Denny’s. And why are we assuming that Dee is talking about a significant other? I thought they just meant friend.

  39. @Beanstalker
    Lame impression of Sensible Madness from about a week or so back.

  40. If I were one of these locked up fellas I would console myself with the fact that I had a fuck piece with the combined IQ of a bus ticket and toothbrush waiting for me on the outside.

  41. @Iamamofo

    Maybe just the bus ticket. Some of those Sonicare toothbrushes are pretty smart, and could almost certainly type more legibly than any of the dolts above.

  42. Thanks to beanstalker and cisrising for their excellent translation skills. I do not have the patience to decipher all that garbage.

  43. @Beanstalker: That is one of the funniest comments I’ve read! Good job!

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