Thursday, August 27, 2009

Delivered to You LIVE!

Delivered to You Live

previous post: Failstival

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86 Comments

  1. Why? Why? Please tell me why anyone would publish this on facebook?

  2. The question isn’t really why but *how*? Kudos to her for some serious multitasking…

  3. Talk about facebook addiction

    You’re having a baby..maybe just focus on that and update your status later

  4. Wow, that’s the quickest birth ever.

  5. They’re naming the child “Ryker”?! A variation in spelling of Rikers Island prison? Probably foreshadowing his future…

  6. TM fucking I

  7. I dunno about this. As stupid as it is for being on facebook, I don’t really think it’s lamebook worthy.

  8. I think the Ryker may be out of love for star trek

  9. The miracle of barf. It’s all about you, Christina.

  10. hahaha so he’ll get made fun of in school for having the same name as a Star Trek character and as an adult make people cringe at the sound of his name because he shares it with a prison. But not to worry, clearly his mother will facebook about it in great detail.

  11. I can’t decide which is lamer, this post or the ubiquitous comments saying a post isn’t lamebook worthy. That’s right Rick, get your own damn website.

  12. Bitch has some sweet skillz texting whilst intoxicated, yo! She must drunk-book like a pro, no regrets…

  13. I feel so bad for her friends. They now have many years of “Ryker is walking/talking/pooping” updates to look forward to. But on the plus side, Ryker probably has his own fb page by now. First status: My mom couldn’t take a few hours offline while I was being born.

  14. Holy shit! Her pussy must be gigantic to poop him out in less than 20 minutes… and then run to a computer to update her status!…. now that I think of it… she had to keep on running during the whole thing to update!
    Ain`t this painful?

  15. Her blurred picture looks like it might be her spread eagle during the act.

  16. Glad to be here!! It was hot in there!! Posted @ 12:37 p.m.

  17. ^16 Christina likes this.

  18. Hey Ryker tell moms you wanna be an only kid so she never ever does this again. She is appalling.

  19. ratcoon FTW

  20. Omg yall, Ryker totally ripped my vagina when he popped out, the doc has gotta stitch me up….uh oh! Here comes the placenta!

  21. Hate to be a broken record here, but these posts really belong on stfuparents.tumblr.com. The two sites should join forces.

    Also, the name Ryker sucks so, so bad.

  22. I’m curious about those comments on each of these status updates.

  23. Ratcoon – I guess I was just disappointed and have seen better from Lamebook. Due to the fact that I am the only one who has ever said such a thing, I will keep my negative comments to myself in the future.

  24. Not to be pedantic (but I am), but she is using her mobile phone to update, so she can easily update while lying down panting through contractions.

  25. This isn’t lame: this is a groundbreaking solution for squeamish husbands.

  26. I tend to get sick of people looking up big words in a thesaurus just so they can sound smarter than they actually are while commenting on Lamebook.

  27. Yeah, bitchnitch. That’s for you, Sabrina.

  28. this is a serious problem for me
    phones arent even supposed to be allowed in hospitals! wtfff

  29. I love people that get all pissy about other people’s opinions over a lamebook entry.

    Haha, Rick.

  30. “OK I need you to push.”

    “Hang on I’m tweeting…”

  31. This is so so so wrong.

  32. isn’t ryker a saw brand? medical saws, i mean? either way, terrible name.

  33. nevermind. i’m thinking of stryker. apparently ryker is dutch and the name of a hulk character. of course.

  34. OMG? OMG??? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!

  35. jesus christ we dont really need a play by play, do we?? i mean, you dont want to look back on that and think about facebook… right? and come to think of it, no one really gives a rats ass what the hell comes out of christina’s vagina via facebook?

  36. @Ryker — hilarious!

  37. Can’t wait to see the future updates.

    “Christina just found out what “lochia” means. Month-long period y’all!”

    “Christina: OMG, vaginal tearing, rofl.”

    “Christina is lovin’ the greeny-black tar poop coming out of Ryker’s cute little butt!”

    facebook privileges revoked NOW.

  38. Thanks, Rick! Glad to see I still “got” it. I was recently in the hospital visiting and found out they no longer affect the machines, so as long as someone’s not being really loud or anything, they can use them.

  39. mobile phones, that is.

  40. Hmmm… I wonder if she was status updating like this when she was conceiving little Ryker too.

  41. i am pretty sure when giving births its nice to have a distraction and facebook could be a good one.

  42. @Sixkiller: no need to run to a computer. see the little mobile phone signal? this multitasking might not be as hard as you think.

  43. Here you go Rick, no need to be invidious:

    http://thesaurus.reference.com
    http://www.onelook.com/reverse-dictionary.shtml

  44. Christina should have considered giving birth to a basic sense of decency.

  45. I wonder what the comments say…

  46. Sabrina – That wasn’t me that actually said that. Someone just used my name

  47. That being said I agree with what you said haha.

  48. Can you imagine finding this on your mom’s facebook someday? Oh, the nostalgia.

  49. I was on an epidural recently, you are pretty aware. Also jesus fuck lady get a life!

  50. #37 – Katie I think you are the bestest! Vaginal tearing I popped my c-section stitches laughing so hard at that!!!!!

  51. luckily facebook wasn’t out when she lost her virginity! lol mind you….how much could she have wrote in 2 mins…

  52. fuck off you fucking fucktard I can’t believe she is posting while pushing. What a fuckwit. Like anyone FUCKING cares about the fucking details. FUCK!

  53. Ryker??

    Worst name ever..

  54. I wonder if she FB’d the conception?

    If you think about it anyone could have had hold of the phone, if not then god help the kid….

    Haha some people deserve to be put down tho honestly, right have to go, I’m going to give a play by play of a monster shit I have brewing.. (Photo’s included)

  55. Fake RICK=Jason right Sabrina?

  56. Meanwhile, in other news, doctors have been forced to declare nothing but C-section births because of the annoying cell phone notification sounds that keep messing up everyone’s concentration!!!!!
    No photos allowed either!

  57. @ Sabrina, OOO FUCKING RLYYY? She was using a mobile phone! Holly shit, are you for real!?

  58. Who the fuck names their kid Ryker? Why would you put that on a poor innocent child who never did harm to anyone? Geeeez.

  59. A delivery room is no place for a cell phone. Or the father.

  60. I wonder what the doctor felt about her sending FB updates during birth. Probably shaking his head in disgust. Was the father or anyone else around. I just wonder if there was anyone there trying to snatch the phone from this girl.

  61. Twenty minutes of pushing really isn’t that short.

    Now back to making fun of the wench…

  62. What about the afterbirth?

  63. Ryker was my dogs name………………….

    Just throwing that out there

    p.s
    Get a life

  64. This sounds like an episode of 16 and Pregnant to me

    “Oh wow you’re eating Taco Bell right before you get induced?”
    “Oh I know, right! Hahaha!”

    0.0

  65. WTF? Firstly, TMI! Secondly, when I gave birth to my son 3 years ago there was so much going through my head that I could not focus on anything else except the birth. Why the fuck is she updating her status message when she should be holding her newborn? That’s just not the time and place for multi-tasking.

  66. Haha! This shit is hilarious, I just found this site. I’m totally not going to get shit done today at work, like anybody gives a shit!

  67. the PINNACLE of facebook oversharing. Please, get off the internets.

  68. who would name their child ryker?

  69. I have a few people on my list who do this… ewwww.

  70. Some people should be beat with their own laptop. Talk about a internet addiction.

    *scurries off to push out the after-birth*

  71. Best. Lamebook. Ever.

  72. This cant be on facebook.
    Facebook shows dates in ascending order, with the newest time on top n so on.

  73. The editors change it so the readers don’t have to read it backwards, moron.

  74. Updatin’ whilst dilatin’ . Jesus H Akbar is this what our techno culture has come to?

  75. Unbelievable…giving birth to a new baby and posting every single detail about it on Facebook. What’s next? Constant FB updates on the baby’s first words? First steps? First food?

  76. WTF??????? that’s all I can say!

  77. OMG I want a 20 min delivery.

  78. Why is Ryker a named after a differently-spelled jail?

  79. RYKER?

    Rutt Roh

    She let Rooby-Do rame her raby.

  80. I feel sorry for the baby

  81. Aside from the name, I don’t have a problem with this.
    My family is spread all over the country. If I were to have a baby most of them would not be able to be there. Posting like this on fb would probably be almost mandatory to keep from getting calls every ten minutes from various relatives asking how it was going. Plus, I would want to share what was going on with those close to me.

  82. what is boggling my mind is why the fuck and how the fuck did this lady have access to facebook while she was pumping one out?

  83. @ 82: Mobile. Probably a home birth, too.

    Ugh, pregnant freaks disgust me.

  84. @ 83: One cannot have an epidural at home unless you are using Michael Jackson’s anesthesiologist. And, she is hardly a pregnant freak considering how normal epidurals are and how she would not likely not be feeling any pain, thereby making it not so challenging to update her facebook via her phone (or have someone else do it for her…)

  85. Truly lame!

  86. I don`t think you could text during a pregnancy.

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