Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Deep Thoughts from Steven

previous post: Conditional Support

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120 Comments

  1. Ben
    First

  2. Ben 2 and lamebook that sucks!

  3. Steven is a douche bag. No, wait! Douche bags have a use. Steven apparently doesn’t.

  4. “BUT I DO THAT HERE AND IT GETS BORING AFTER LIKE 10 MINETS”
    Hahahaha classic!

  5. Ben 3. Is this really what religion is? To give “reasons” about what life is for unintelligent people?

  6. Religion gives people a reason to live and fucks you over when you are young

    A bit like doing dope , it gives you a reason to live but will fuck you over in the end …

    Still , would choose dope over religion any day.

  7. You could always spend the ‘millions of years left’ learning how to spell

  8. He’s got a point about the meadows.

  9. I be ridin’ with fuckin’ Jesus, ya’ll!
    We be rollin’ in meadows with flowers and shit!
    Slayin’ demons!

    Eternal peace, muthafuckas!

  10. I vote we go “help” Steven see what eternity in a grassy meadow is like. I’ll bring a shovel.

  11. “Wat is aftalife”, more like

  12. HAHAAA wow! Perhaps I am in a unusually good mood for this early, but that was actually really funny. The poor thing… of all things to list that life is in; and he decides to write “frogs and sticks and shit”. Brilliant. And the rolling in the meadows? HA!

  13. Fucking hilarious!

  14. Steven has a point, ‘rollin in medows with flowers and shit’ CAN get boring after a while….

  15. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    I have no idea in God’s green flower meadows what this guy is talking about (or freebasing).

    Jesus slays?

    Do sticks really die?

    Socrates is rolling in his grave, or indeed, in the “GRASSY FIELD” with “FUCKIN JESUS”.

  16. Is he 12? He’s 12, right?

    …right?

  17. TylerDurdenUMD

    Steven needs to just go play in traffic. That’ll solve all his problems.

  18. @manybellsdown: Good one!! :-D

  19. ohh man…that is fucking gold!…the first titter lamebook has got out of me in days/weeks..
    “MAYBE IF I TRIED REALLY REALLY FUCKIN HARD I COULD ROLL AROUND IN A GRASSY FIELD FOR LIKE MAYBE 30 OR 40 MINETS”
    ..Jesus hears you Steven

  20. HI BILLY MAYS HERE!!!!!!!!!!

  21. STEVEN HAS MADE MY MORNING.

  22. i love malteaser too

    I kno for certin that you are a cretin, Steven.

  23. Rolling around in grass for too long gets you all itchy… :-/

  24. good job lamebook. please don’t stop with the funny.

  25. FUCKIN MAGNETS

  26. Jesus and Steven fighting demons. Can I get a A Men! Hallelujah!

  27. I love this, and I kinda love Steven too. I know he has a terrible grasp of the English language, but I find this quite cute. “Frogs and sticks and shit”. Ha!

  28. Dude raises a number of interesting questions, I must say.

  29. Hey Bull, wanna go roll around in a meadow with me? I’ve got about 15-20 min.

  30. If this is a piss take then it’s brilliant.

    If it’s not…I don’t know what to say.

  31. What’s a piss take?

    I’d totally love to go rollin’ around in some meadows right now- it beats work.

  32. Piss take = joke. As in, someone has deliberately written this to be funny…

  33. Oh, eenerbl, I am so there! We’ve just got to pick an area free of frogs or sticks. ;)

  34. steven you might want to take a minet and learn how to spell first…

  35. I totally wanna go fight demons with Jesus. I wonder if he gets some kind of cannon that launches loaves and fishes.

  36. That is going on my tombstone – Was only here for the frogs and sticks and shit.

  37. Our roll will definitely not be boring!

  38. Bingo, gingivitis.

    Bingo Gingivitis. Sounds like it should be the name of a band. What kind of a band I can’t be sure…

  39. A country music band, I reckon. With Morris dancers as their backing dancers…

  40. Rollin in meadows with flowers and shit? This poses the question of whether ‘frogs and sticks’ go to heaven, and if not, why are there obviously so few toilets that the dead people have to shit in the fields?

  41. Oh, I can promise you that. And I can definitely see making a day out of it, I don’t think I’d lose interest after 10 minutes. ;)

  42. BringYourOwnSun

    Oh, jeez, this is so full of win. It’s been a while since lamebook has posted something that made me laugh this much!

  43. whoa steven is deep, he should look into working for hallmark

  44. Ya know Bull, I don’t think Steven is doing it right. He’s too concerned with the Devil, Demons, frogs and sticks. We will lead in example on how to properly roll around in meadows and not get board!

  45. * bored oops

  46. lol :|

  47. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    Those thoughts might really be on skin deep… Just imagine if Steve gave it a LOT of thought?

    This totally made me laugh until I teared…hahahaha

  48. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    - on … oops

  49. southernbrunette

    omg this was hilarious. I haven’t cracked up this much on lamebook in a while.

    God bless you, Steven, and may your eternity be filled with frogs and sticks and shit.

    I love this guy!

  50. ‘IS ME AN JESUS JUST GOIN 2 PRETTY MUCH CONSTANTLY FIGHT DEMONS’

    I love that idea.

    Accept Jesus into your heart in this life, and when you die, you can join his elite team of DEMON SLAYERS! No more rolling ‘AROUND IN A GRASSY FIELD FOR LIKE MAYBE 30 OR 40 MINETS’ – as a Demon Slayer you get the eternal job of killing demons that never die. Best of all, Jesus will be at your side all the way, teaching you the fighting skills you need to kill the ultimate demons. Gain EXP and Reknown on your travels so that other Demon Slayers know you mean business. Can you become the best of the best… Jesus’ right hand man? Sign up to Christianity today to find out.

  51. Life: It is in frogs and sticks and shit.

  52. Pure, unadulterated lameness. Instant classic.

  53. I just hope that you don’t mind losing your tan lines, ee. ;)

  54. holy crap! i’ve been looking at life as so much more than frogs and sticks and shit. i need to simplify.

  55. Steven is clearly a Juggalo. FUCKIN MAGNETS indeed!

  56. I think Steven is confusing the afterlife, excuse me – the afta lyfe, with an episode of Buffy.

    Atheism firmly reinforced.

  57. Fair enough.

  58. Hello,

    I have been stalking this site for months, but Steven has made me finally suck it up and register so I can marvel at his awesome view of the afterlife.

    I wonder if these demons just ambush Jesus and his fellow slayers while they roll around in the meadows? I can see it now, just rolling around for 10 minutes or so and then all of a sudden demon jihad. Sweeeet.

  59. Where’d ya go, eenerbl? :)

  60. And for that matter, hiya, Katypants!

  61. Sounds like most of the 1st year philosophy students I’ve met.

    -God’s investment(His Son) in frogs and sticks, was SO great, he could NEVER abandon you in a medow!-

  62. WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN

  63. rosinbackrider

    why does it seem like in every post theres some one saying “oh im new here, i used to just sit around and read all the comments like a creeper, but this post was just so darn funny i had to create an account and then tell everyone about it!!”

    it sounds so retarted.

  64. MsBuzzkillington

    To be completely honest, I have actually been deep in thoughts similar to Steve’s. I have never taken into consideration that my life after death may require me to right demons,

    I mean *if* there is some sort of life after death and I am “aware” of it… that is going to be creepy. Living on forever and ever and ever and never having an end, scares the crap out of me. It would get boring.

  65. I’ve read this 5 times now and I’m still laughing.

    MY PAPS USED 2 TELL ME THAT WED BE ROLLIN IN MEDOWS WITH FLOWERS AND SHIT BUT I DO THAT HERE AND IT GETS BORING AFTER LIKE 10 MINETS AND MAYBE IF I TRIED REALLY REALLY FUCKIN HARD I COULD ROLL AROUND IN A GRASSY FIELD FOR LIKE MAYBE 30 OR 40 MINETS BUT HOW THE FUCK AM I GONNA DO THAT SHIT FOR MILLIONS OF FUCKIN YEARS

    omg.

  66. Genius Soup

    This guy is pretty profound

  67. @rosinbackrider: It may be retarded, but at least I can spell the word. :)

  68. Sorry Bull, I got distracted.

  69. Soup, I fucking love you.
    That is all.

  70. If this is deliberate, it is the most genius thing I have ever read.

  71. rosinbackrider

    lol, eusadnama: “retarted” is a reference to previous posts.

  72. oh. my gosh. favorite post ever. this is hilarious!

  73. Steven has got me thinking, so along with him, I will now ponder the afterlife of sticks.

  74. So did I, eenerbl, people keep expecting me to do work today. Lame.

  75. Awh Soup, not all first year philosophy students are like that. At least, I hope I wasn’t like that. If I was, someone please kill me so I can go hunt demons with Jesus instead of finishing my degree.

  76. Same here. :(

  77. this is so full of win! just as i was losing the faith.

    i don’t know why people further up the post are being so hard on steven. i think he is a philosopher of the neo-platonist school – frogs and sticks and shit are all emanations of The One.

  78. amtrak for the win. well played.

  79. Hey Bulldog ;) how’s it hanging? It’s been a while! I, as well, have been expected to work all day and have had very little time for shananagans :(

    And hey ee! How have you been?

  80. @rosinbackrider: Oh balls. You win! lol

  81. Epic. Just fucking awesome.

  82. Hey pretty lady. ;) I’m doing alright, it turned out to be a pretty hectic day, and it’s about a million degrees so my late afternoon run was pretty miserable. Time to cool off a bit. :)

  83. And, ee, I’ll let you make it up to me. :)

  84. Was I supposed to read that whole thing? People need to take attention spans into consideration before writing a Facebook note novel.

  85. Also, he needs to grab a fucking dictionary.

  86. No kidding! Just got home from the day from hell… although I can’t complain – it got up to about 85 today and it was gorgeous! I am currently cooling off with a screwdriver :) and yourself?

  87. Took a cool shower, and now I’m kicking back with a cold beer. If you were here I’m sure the sweaty glass bottle would end up rubbing against your skin. :)

  88. Ahhhh, serious or not, fucking awesome.

  89. This is flippin’ hilarious.
    I can’t. stop. laughing.

    I want to go hunt demons with Jesus, too!

    This made my whole day and from now on, whenever someone says, “What does life mean?” Instead of, “42,” I’m going to say, “Frogs and sticks and shit…”

    bahahahahahahahahhaahhaa

  90. PS – I just had to say…

    Bulldog, that last post was epically creepy.
    Katypants, R U N!

  91. Sorry, Lexi, didn’t mean for that to sound creepy. You’ve never put a cold glass up against someone? Dropped an ice cube down someone’s shirt? My bad.

  92. The Gospel according to Steven. Brilliant. Hopefully they’ll have Ritalin in Heaven so that they can get Steven’s ADHD under control.

    I have to say though, if Steven is right, you’d be a little bit pissed if you’d served as a soldier most of your life. There you are, ready to take it easy rolling in grassy fields… …and BAM! You’re suddenly back in combat fighting Satan’s demon hordes.

  93. I just want to suggest that someone should submit the “retarted” conversation bewtween eenerbl, Bulldog, and kaytpants to lamebook- annoying smiley faces and all.

    Good day!

  94. I love it. Words can’t even express my total amusement with this post and everyone’s comments.
    I agree today has been full of wins on LameBook. Things were getting pretty repetitive for a while now.

  95. Ouch, my head.

  96. frogsandsticksandshit

    So now we know the meaning of life. I can die happy now, go chill with jesus you know. Slay some demons. Maybe roll around in some fields. That or I can stop being creepy and chat to Lamebook people. “oh im new here, i used to just sit around and read all the comments like a creeper, but this post was just so darn funny i had to create an account and then tell everyone about it!!” heyyy.

  97. dietpillpyramidscheme

    Most of the amusing stuff has been covered already, so I’ll go with, “I KNOW FOR CERTIN THAT WHEN I DIE IM RIDING WIHT FUCKIN JESUS”

    How exactly does Jesus “ride”?
    Horse? Motorcycle? A bicycle built for 1.2 Billion?

    Can you imagine his face, as he wrote that?

  98. mymomruinedfacebook

    His main question is “Wat is life” yet he spends the whole paragraph contemplating what happens after you die. So he ends the same way he began wat is life

  99. discomfortzone

    I too, guess I am going to have to end this the same way as I started Steven. I too.

  100. Maybe Jesus will give you a lobotomy, then rolling around in the meadow won’t get boring.

  101. Haha Cenobyte oh god. True stuff

  102. this is fucking brilliant.
    i want this guy to lecture the philosophy classes at uni.

  103. rockinghorsefly

    Well I love Steven. I feel much safer now I know that Steven and Jesus will be out there slaying all the demons.

    #96 – “frogsandsticksandshit” is an awesome username.

  104. if this guy had a church, i would be all over that like a frog on a stick, and shit.

  105. Makes me wonder if journaling is part of the process in his mandatory counseling as part of his parole…?

  106. Why would you roll in shit in the first place?

  107. So, as written above I’m one of those losers who just happen to cross a friend who posted a comment on this post. Ya complicated, but. I signed up to say only a few things.

    What the fuck, practically sexting on a public form was more entertaining than Steven.
    *Applauds Bulldog and CO.*

    And, is this the guy from the Ding fries are done song?

    K thx bai

  108. I am 98% sure Steven was high as a kite when he came up with this gem. I don’t know why y’all hatin’ and want to help him get to the afterlife; I would love to be on his friends list and get to read his deep thoughts on a regular basis.

  109. Also, I lol’d hard at #50. Nicely don, amtrak4lovers.

  110. This is the most brilliant thing I’ve ever read. Gold, pure GOLD.

  111. Oh man you should become a priest I’d come to hear you give a sermon every Sunday, I’d be rolling in the aisles for hours. Life in sticks I love it, guess you slept through biology, too busy thinking deep thoughts, probably slept through English too, looking at the spelling. Nevermind, but do yourself a favour try rolling around in a field with a girl, it might give you a whole new outlook, certainly put some life in your wood that’s for sure :)

  112. Almost heart-warmingly retarded. I think he’s (probably unintentionally) channeling Jim Anchower from the Onion.

  113. This is roughly 3 billion times funnier when read out loud.

  114. All I could think of while reading this was

    “FUCKIN’ MAGNETS… HOW DO THEY WORK?!”

  115. Definitely actually laughed out loud for this one.

  116. Steven is a retard!
    ps. STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

  117. I think Steven should start a blog called “Frogs, Sticks and Shit.”

  118. Beyond this guy being an obvious moron, he needs to worry more about proper English!

  119. Haha this guy is a legend. I want to here more.

  120. Didn’t read the message, fuck him. Didn’t read your comments, fuck y’all

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