Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Deadly Douches

previous post: Tuesday TypOHs!

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70 Comments

  1. ben

    I mean first

    I mean lol

  2. Emanuel! Put that shit on lock. Eugh.

    But due props to Bryce for being.. charming.

  3. slump busting?

  4. twats

  5. nvm, I thought this lamebook entry would have been funnier, it really isn’t.

  6. Emanuel looks like a naked stretch armstrong, freak

  7. Tip: The hot chicks in college are not interested in the 27-30-year-old guy who’s just now working on his first degree. Not when there are younger and undoubtedly hotter (and probably somewhat less misogynistic) guys there.

  8. gotta love slump busting

    Someone needs to comment on Emanuel’s photo saying ‘I affirm you!!’ just so he can get his desperately sought affirmation.

  9. @howdy: Alternately, someone could comment and go “OH EW YOU ARE A DISGUSTING BLOB.”

  10. I love that these two guys who are all but admitting to being pathetic (their non-words, not… not-mine) adults who are still in college and can’t really get a job are being all player-douchey. You know what I mean, the ones that never get any but are still all, ‘man, you shoulda seen that girl I was with last night’ or ‘yeah, fat girls are disgusting, but hell, they’re just grateful to be getting something’
    YEAH? Well I HATE you, ignorant, exaggerated personalities I’ve assigned to two strangers I know absolutely nothing about!

    Wankers.

    Today’s crazy new name: Roshiel. Whut?

  11. slump busting. Interesting way to put it.

    Naked man need to stay off the roids! He can’t even form complete sentences!

  12. Naked dude on my Tuesday morning. *shudder* :P

  13. Why has he got to take all of his clothes off to show us his guns? You know he’s desperately waiting for birds to start commenting ‘Oh you look so hot’ blah blah….pathetic, insecure, attention seeking meathead.

  14. shameless douchebaggery.

  15. Geez, nothing like showing the world that you are both fat and bloated.

  16. Speaking as a 30-something in college, I find the whole experience far better if you limit yourself to weekend and evening classes. That way, most of your classmates are working adults and aren’t interested in the usual college meat market. It makes classes much more pleasant without all the nonsense about who went to what party or who screwed who the night before. Plus, the older students tend to be more interested in getting an actual education and less interested in screwing around.

    Of course, if you only went back to school to ogle 19 year old girls and pretend you could ever actually have a shot with any of them, that’s probably not the best advice.

  17. Look at my striped shirt…LOOK AT IT!

    right on Bryce! you hit that dartmouth pussy Bryce hit it all night long!

    ummmm yea ok errrrrrrrrrr

  18. Emanuel spelled Jim wrong

  19. I’m going to go out on a crazy limb here and assume that college wasn’t any more exciting for Jared at 19 than it was at 27. I’m guessing both involved a lot of crying while wanking to his roommate getting action, then talking to his friends as if he experiences “slumps”, and not just “virginity”.

    Does anyone else just feel bad for Emanuel? Desperate for validation, likely an obsession with body image, plus he was just sick a week ago.

  20. I’m still trying to see his ass in the tv

  21. i love malteaser too

    Awww poor Emanuel, he was sick. Some one please give him an anti-inflammation tablet (non-steroidal).

  22. Guys ubsested with working out constantly and trying to shape their bodies so they look like a walking action figure are kind of pathetic unless they are getting paid WWE cash for it or something.

    30 old with no job working on his first degree thinking hot 19 yr old girls, even with issues want anything they have to offer? Even more pathetic.

  23. lol… guys talking big… you know they are trying to act like they only hit the ugs cuz they need slump busting… sounds more like thats par for these fellas

  24. C’MON! Nobody else wants to throw a party with hired midget entertainment? That was my favourite part! Lol

  25. UNRELATED COMMENT – Sucks being in a time zone where I now leave the office to go home and make dinner, while all you lovely people are just starting the day off. I’m hating missing out on the continuous updated comments as they come in. :-(

  26. also love how the chics tossing the upper 20s crowd in college to the wolfs (ubsest wolfs running)! guys mature slower than chics… and in the days of latchkey kids and single parent homes those boys mature even more slowly… I cut them slack because they sound like they are getting that part of their lives right… even though they are still douches

    Also when you graduate with a degree at 30 you have a lot more doors open to you than at 22… At 22 you are going to have to start further down and spend more time at the bottom… It dont take an HR genious to figure that out

  27. Well, it coould have been in the bathroom.

  28. I am so sick of hearing about men putting down women- you know there are awfully a lot of ugly guys out there! Don’t judge you’re probably one of them!
    Also I’m taking a college class in my late 20′s- no it is not the same as being in your teens!
    Dude put on some pants!

  29. I’m guessing even the vagina-possessing, slump-bust-worthy “ugly chicks” avoid these guys like the plague.

  30. steroids are a hell of a drug.

  31. I’m in my late 20s and I went back for a 2nd degree. I found that most of the people in my classes are in their late 20s, 30s, or 40s working on their 2nd degree or changing careers (like me!).

    There ARE guys like those two clowns also. You can see them sitting outside in the courtyard staring at the young’uns. It’s pathetic but amusing at the same time :D !

    So that’s my two cents…* waves *

  32. @cobalcat yeah I see what your saying you always hear guys putting down women and calling them ugly when they’re probably ugly themselves.

    I’m starting uni in a few months time and I’m 22 i’ve never been to uni before so I don’t know what to expect and i’m hoping you don’t get idiots like those guys on my course. But then I don’t expect many men will be doing my course anyway so it should be fine.

  33. hey monkey… im working on my masters at 32… lets go find a quiet corner to ‘study’ in

  34. I would like to clarify that I don’t think adults in college are pathetic. Merely adults in college who say things like ‘Butr I don’t like looking at or talking to them.’

  35. Emanual looks like he might burst like a water balloon if he bumps up against the corner of that computer desk. Ugh, that shit is as gross as the FF boob implants. It’s just making me sad…

  36. Gross, that guy is such a turn off. In fact, every guy in these statuses are turn offs. I don’t know whether “Roshiel” is a guy or a gal, but s/he is not included in the turn offs.

    <3

  37. Pic # 3 – Step 1) Place in water, Step 2) Add a larger amount of steroids, Step 3) Watch it grow!, Step 4)Watch it make incoherent sentences….?

  38. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    @ slim hahahaha why go for a corner?? nowadays they have private rooms to “study” in!

  39. As a 30ish male returning to college, I apologize for the sexless jerkins. I don’t know if it’s just me, or my college or what, but most of the 19, 20 yr olds these days are a little too anorexic for my taste anyways.

  40. @GeezMom, then you must consider women suffering from eating disorders pathetic, as well? For shame. Or is it only a certain kind of body image distortion that qualifies as pathetic?

  41. @ monkey… i didnt know you were an exhibitionist… im a bit of a freak (not sure you knew that)… id play in front of everyone if you want… oh, provate room… i read the first part of your comment and got all excited… well if we got a private room i would make a screamer out of you

    oh and i never apologized for making you lose your homework over the rick roll thing… i like to play jokes, but wouldnt of done it if I knew you were going to lose homework… i know I’d hate to lose something i had been working on

  42. Emanuel kinda looks like a really unattractive pale and bald version of the Hulk, and he’s dumb as well.

    If I’m gonna do a big dumb guy like that, he at least has to be green.

  43. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    @pelicant I agree. Those girls make me look fat and I’m no where near fat! :(

    @slim no hard feelings re the homework incident. It’s what I get for being gullible! haha! Now I’m a bit wiser.

    You, a freak? nooooo! wouldn’t have guessed that in a million years… especially from reading all your comments. bahahaha I’m a bit reserved so no corner or open area for me! Private room… hmm…

  44. @monkey

    glad to hear that you got some meat on you… i like a gal with curves… and no that doesnt make them fat… i just dont need to be pounding no boney ass with no hips… may as well become a cathelic priest if thats my flavor… so i would gladly take you to a private room… relax and enjoy my touch ;)

  45. Well slim, you might be let down with me.

    I do have curves, but I’m kinda bony as well (boobs are good though).

    Hope that doesn’t ruin it for you.

  46. Word, ok… you caught me… i like them all! As long as you aint too skinny or too huge then I am cool… its just talking ideal body… so its all good, my wife is a thin lil thing also… and even if you were out of my range id still nail ya… you have earned that at least, lol

  47. I’m just quite slim, slim. That’s about the size of it.

    Never ever had a complaint about my ass though. The guys I date always say when they see me in my work uniform, that I must send the blokes at work crazy staring at it.

    I can’t vouch for it myself, cos it’s a little hard to properly check out one’s own ass.

  48. word, I’m sure your ass is superb!

  49. All I know ee is that I’m looking forward to the day that we can get together for real, and rub mutual asses.

    It’s what keeps me going.

  50. i agree with eenerbl… i’m popping wood just thinking about your ass… ok, now eenerbl is touching it… now the three of us are all over each other… damn, be back in a few….

  51. i could die a happy man with word and eenerbl taking turns on my face and rod

  52. Pathetic = worthy of pity. And yeah, I do think they are.(Been there, done that, got the t-shirt). That’s not saying they are bad people. I actually do feel sorry, and concerned for young boys when they start thinking that looking a certain way is important. I think it’s far too often overlooked that boys get body image issues, and it just often goes another way. I’m not a fan of people encouraging it by competing online any more than like those sites dedicated to pictures of Mary Kate Olsen while girls cheer each other on as they go days without eating. I really didn’t feel like going all serious here though.

  53. CommentsAtLarge

    Bryce obviously has an odd pet name for his penis, since I’m guessing that’s what he’s beating night and day.

    “rub mutual asses” is both amusing and arousing so thanks on two fronts word. Slim, if the masters doesn’t work out, I think you might have a future as a porn director.

  54. @ commentsatlarge… you spelled actor wrong

  55. slim, and we WOULD kill you.

    Us three horny animals going at each other…
    What a beautiful picture I have in my head right now.

    I can go to work a happy girl.

  56. Emmanual for the love of God, put some boxers on!!

  57. Comments, slim is my 2010 version of the great John Holmes, and I, the Linda Lovelace.

    Hopefully though, we don’t meet the same demise as those two.

  58. The posts were lame, as could be expected of lamebook.
    Malteaster’s post made me lol though.

  59. word, I’d rub asses with you any day. slim, you’d make a wonderful porn director! You indeed have a talent with your foxy words.

  60. Since when has this become some dirty, flirty, vent-out-your-sexual-frustrations arena?? Reel it in guys.

  61. Pippi,

    Sexual frustration is not the term I’d use for myself in its true form.

    I actually do get sex, very satisfying sex.
    The only frustration for me is that it’s never enough.

    I’m not here to offend, I come here to hopefully provide some mild entertainment for the masses, and be entertained in return, during the hard slog of the day.

    I don’t think many people are bothered by me, or the others who join me, but who knows?

    Regardless, for the apparent sins I’ve committed in your eyes, I’ll give you an apology from the heart of my bottom.

  62. Seriously Pippi? That’s why we (at least I) come here for.

  63. btw. it’s way better than watching porn, ut’s so much more realistic. So slim, word and eenerbl just keep me coming.

  64. If you three end up being 50yr old obese guys with no teeth, I will laugh.

  65. slump busting. my new favourite term.

  66. Yeah, this comment string did get kinda gross. I’m just jealous though, especially if you are all 50 year old obese guys, I love me a little silver fox (by silver, I mean bald and by fox, I mean slob)

  67. Well Emma, I’m not 50 yet and I’m not bald oh just forget it.

  68. Just burst out laughing at work. Milo FTW!

  69. SeeBea, you seem way outta my league.

  70. @60 Pippi Where have you been? Or are you new to LB? Otherwise this can’t be your first encounter with the dirty minds of slim, word, ee and the occasional Soup.
    Without LB would indeed be lame :)

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