Coolbaby (NSFW)
Cooldog is, well, cool. However, Coolbaby is disgusting. Click the link below if you want to see her (and have no problem with “fresh out of the oven” babies), but you’ve been warned. (NSFW)
There’s nothing wrong about having babies. Some doctors get to experience the miracle of birth every day, and the proud mothers and fathers who have eagerly awaited the delivery for 9 months are surely overcome with joy when the glorious day arrives. However, what earns this post the Lamester award is the fact that regular folks who are mindlessly flipping through their daily feed will unexpectedly stumble on this picture without having experienced at least 4 years of medical school, without 9 months of mental preparation and will undoubtedly spit their mouthful of coffee all over their computer screen. And a new computer cannot be conceived then birthed … they must be purchased from your favorite electronics store.
I’ve seen cooler.
Does anyone else remember when, about 10 years ago, Fabio’s face got fucked up by a bird while he was riding on a roller coaster?
seriously? I mean having a kid is a wonderful nice thing and all, but PLEASE people, keep some things to yourselves!
Someone please arrest Caroline for aggravated TMI in the first pictorial degree.
PS: Nevermind. She’ll be punished enough by that LIFE FULL OF NO-SEX lying ahead of her, for no man shall ever be inclined to get it on with her after viewing this pic.
Agreed all around. In fact, could you even have placed a warning as to what it actually is? I don’t have NSFW syndrome, I just figured it was a silly sexy baby pic (don’t ask). This ruined my day. And the baby’s face? It screams, “I’m born to these people?!” The child has years of agony ahead, yet foresees it in one, brief, bloodied moment.
You know you’re in trouble when your first ever action is a facepalm.
good god man! I agree Jason, just a little hint about the fact that im about to see a bloody baby next time.
the dog is very cool.
Holy hell, Rick, that’s perfect!
This is flat wrong. I let out an involuntary “What the fuck?!” the second I saw it.
This takes juxtaposition to a whole notha level.
Suddenly I’m hungry for very rare steak.
Jason and International: I do believe the phrase “‘fresh out of the oven’ babies” was kind of a straightforward hint. (I knew what I was getting myself into!)
Rick —> LOL
must have been added later
Anyone else see irony in the name Hope?
Jesus H Christ…somethings are better left off facebook…the dog is very cool though…
Yes, thanks to Jason and International’s comments we adjusted the warning … and rightly so. No one can be prepared enough for this.
hahahahahaha im sorry but this is hilarious lol but boz i agree, hopeless
the dog is awesome
It’s like Left 4 Dead
What I really want to know is what the fuck a “sexy baby pic” is. Hmm, Jason?
FUCKING INTENSE. I’m usually against posting just-born babies on facebook but I think this one is ok because that baby looks FUKCING BUTAL.
BRUTAL I MEAN BRUTAL FUCK I CANT TYBE
Say, isn’t that Kuato from Total Recall?
At least wash it first!
Most effective birth control ever? This makes me want to get my tubes tied ASAP.
That’s not horrible but sharing it on FB is.This will be the mother updating her status with how much breastmilk she’s pumped,the size,shape,color and smell of her progeny’s fecal matter,etc.
holy shit, Why, why, why do people feel the need to share that on fb.
maximum level of TMI.
poor kid. i wouldn’t want to have that image of myself in the future. call me a prude but i don’t ever need to know what i looked like that fresh out of the womb.
hahahaha
@ Who wants cake? lmfao!! Agreed. I didnt need that image in my head either. Thanks a lot stupid mother who thinks she needs to share EVERYTHING on facebook.
& that poor child, I can just see it now..
(right before their 1st date)….
Crazy mother: “ohh and this was little patty/patrick first picture, right out of the womb!”
Potential BF/GF: “OHMYGOD” *gets up and runs out of the house.
Yes that poor child.
ohh lmfao, just remembered that the baby’s name is hope. haha
OMG – had that baby been popped up over the screen when I had my kids I would have been horrified.
PUT IT BACK IN!!!!
I bet this photo is going to be whipped out when the poor child brings home a date for the prom.
It was at this point that Caroline realized, it was too late to get an abortion.
Caption:
FUCK YOU I’M A BABY
@boz agreed, poor child.
THIS IS SPARTA!
oh for lord’s sake, it’s just a newborn baby. that’s what they look like. sometimes there’s blood. calm yourselves, sheltered males/princesses/n00bs to the grubby little facts of life.
How does that count as TMI? No really, enlighten me. Is it because of the…blood?
@Evan: ahahahahaha
@admin: lol pussy. I’m sorry you can deal with graphic movie violence but not with this
it’s because BIRTH AND VAJAYJAY AND STUFF is involved. EWWWWWW REALITY
- a bunch of sheltered male n00bs’ opinion
New dad to doctor: “Okay, hold it up so I can take a picture of it!”
Doctor to new dad: “We could clean her off first?”
New dad to doctor: “Are you kidding? My friends are gonna flip their shit!”
New mom to new dad: “Take… a… picture… (out of breath from just giving birth)… I can’t… wait… to show my… my friends on… facebook.”
PS – I have a VAJAYJAY AND STUFF, but it doesn’t stop me from seeing why this is inappropriate for facebook.
why…why’s the baby covered in ketchup? ._.
and before i get some stuck-up response about it being natural and blah, i’m a biologist, i know. -_- my sister-in-law just had a baby 10 days ago. she would agree THIS SHOULD NEVER BE MADE PUBLIC ON FACEBOOK. where’s stfuparents when you need it?
@Lea: you cracked me up.
This is terrifying.
HOLY SHIT! TMI Caroline! TMI! can’t they clean it/her/him first BEFORE taking this bloody pic?!?
You lot are all true lamebookers if you can’t handle this. It’s just a newborn baby, ffs.
I must admit to a guilty pleasure. I am absolutely fond of wild animals caught in situations where they appear to be anthropomorphically endowed. This is a keeper.
cooldog rocks.
“Sexy baby pic” : stfuparents.tumblr.com.
Thanks for the additional warning, I can be more prepared next time.
As for anything about these comments actually relating to the (disgusting, inappropriate. etc.) wonders of childbirth, can I state on behalf of the perturbed that it is not the baby itself and the bloody aspects of childbirth that irk us. I figure it is the broadcast on a public networking site of such an event. Same with statuses like, “my girlfriend has her hand on my dick”. I’m thrilled for you and I acknowledge the beauty of a hand-job. Still, FB isn’t the venue. In fact, is there a venue for broadcasting that?
This picture is really no big deal.
TMI – yes, but don’t blow it out of proportion.
i don’t know what cooldog has to do with a bloody baby? i agree, more of a warning would have been nice.
Anyone remember that horror flick “It’s Alive”?
kid looks like its dying
You know what, there’s no more wrong in putting this on FB than there is putting “ZOMG, Iz jst dn a MASSIVE POO!” etc etc. If you’ve got a problem with that photo, folk… shit are you in for a shock in later life. And yes, this WILL happen to most of you in later life. (PS There will be no out of breath mother. That’s a c-sec baby. What you have there is one mother off her tits on analgesics.
However – that is one pissed of new born. “Put me back in. PUT ME BACK IN, BASTARD!” springs to mind….
You know what, there’s no more wrong in putting this on FB than there is putting “ZOMG, Iz jst dn a MASSIVE POO!” etc etc. If you’ve got a problem with that photo, folk… shit are you in for a shock in later life. And yes, this WILL happen to most of you in later life. (PS There will be no out of breath mother. That’s a c-sec baby. What you have there is one mother off her tits on analgesics.
However – that is one pissed off new born. “Put me back in. PUT ME BACK IN, BASTARD!” springs to mind….
Roobarb is correct. The blue curtain indicates (and the child’s perfectly round head immediately after birth strongly suggests) that this was a cesarean birth. Any uterine surgery is bloody.
In other words, this image could have been much worse. If the camera were placed on the other side of the curtain, we could have been “treated” to an image of the mother’s gaping abdomen and internal organs!
i love how people come in here and ruin everybody’s time.
i would say 96% of people that comment…laugh and add on to the joke. Then people like Roobarb and Miki come in…don’t understand what is funny…and proceed to try and drag everyone else down to their boring ass sense of humor.
There are worse things in movies all the time. It’s kind of gross, but i’ve seen gorier things.
A c-section is a bloody, bloody, surgery. Don’t worry, all you delicate flowers, most births in this country are still vaginal and so involve a lot less blood. You won’t necessarily have to witness a scene like this when your own kid is born.
ZOMBIE BABY!!!! KILL IT KILL IT!!!!!!
That is the most metal baby ever. Give it a guitar.
in response to roobarb. As a father who was there for splashdown in all its gory glory i have to say yes there is nothing more beautiful than the site of a freshly born baby . . . If it.s yours. Covered in the blood and amniotic fluid with the expression of someone who’s just had to watch all 3 high school musicals back to back on a loop for a week doesn’t tug at the heart strings in the same way, and us not wanting to see said juices does not make up heartless misanthropes
up was meant to be us. Bloody predictive text!
Baby punched her way out!
what worries me slightly is that there’s a photo before this one, as indicated in the post.
it could be anything, obviously, but can you imagine what that photo would be if this had been a vag birth?
you’re welcome
LOL@ moomoo, Rare juicy steak sounds real good right about now!!!!
Give her about 16 years and she will be (same color) on a facebook photo with her crotch spread out, the writings “peace love adpi” and her mother defending her sweet orange bloody honor!!!!
Meh, i’ve witnessed C-Section delivery first hand as a father, this isn’t that gross. My son spewed up amniotic fluid in my wife’s mouth when they held him up over the sheet for us to see him the first time, and even that didn’t gross me out. Time to harden the fuck up mates.
a beautifal baby, a miracle of nature, a blessing to your lives COVERED IN DISCHARGE AND FANNY BLOOD! >:(
FUCK OFF!
Kizurazgubai…I’m sure it’s very different if it’s your own baby. Then, obviously, it is a beautiful thing. But it’s not beautiful for all the people on facebook who have to see it. Jesus, is nothing sacred and personal anymore? Surely these moments are private and precious to the parents and not to be whored around on facebook?
Who said anything about it being beautiful? I said it’s not as gross as you weak-of-stomach people seem to bemoan it being. That picture is awesome and legendary. One day that dad is going to show his kid the picture and say: “The internet called you Cool Baby” I’ll find it hard to top that.
And I’ll say it again, time to harden the fuck up.
@#46 OhEmGee: if they’d cleaned the baby off, it wouldn’t be such a bloody pic, now would it?
Protect your children’s privacy if not your own….Next you will be wondering how the perv that kidnapped them knew so much about them, or why they keep parading themselves naked to the online public 12-30 something years later. End of story!!!
Hello, my baby,
Hello, my honey,
Hello, my ragtime gal.
Send me a kiss by wire,
Baby my heart’s on fire!
God people who bitch about this are pathetic on so many levels – It is just childbirth. Suck it up for gods sake.
it’s not really very gross compared to most of the rest of the internet but who cares babies are ugly whether they have blood on them or not
That is the most goddamn metal baby picture ever. Gore, screams, the only thing it’s missing is spikes of some sort
Bloody kids…
Now picture if he had a gun too. Tell me that wouldn’t be cool… c’mon… TELL ME
Hmm that was a bit disappointing, I was expecting to see something really, truly nasty. Yes it was completely innappropriate to post it on fb, just not that gross in and of itself.
Maybe that’s just cos the warning was so full-on it’s a bit of an anti-climax when you see the picture. I was expecting to see the kid making the journey out. Like in Knocked Up when she’s crowning.. EEEEWWWWWWWW
My retinas got fried when I saw this photo. Terrifying. Abstinence is the only option. Yes it’s natural and blah blah blah, but can you just imagine years down the track from now, the kid’s turning 21. Mum and dad whip out the baby photos for the 21st slide show. Everyone’s invited and there you are naked, covered in blood and looking constipated…now that’s hot!
HAHAHAHAHA! I did that when I came out but I was also peeing on a nurse at the time.
Jesus, that thing’s got a right ol’ grab on it.
I’m thinking this was a c section birth and it was the first look at the baby, not really a big deal. BTW so the add at the bottom of my page if for “sleepy wrap” which is some kind of baby holder, their slogan, “The best place after the womb”!!!
well the baby’s picture is quite…shocking
Fuck man, I WISH my kid looked like that when he was born. I would love to scare the shit out of people with a pic like that. My wife almost needed a blood transfusion when she gave birth, she lost so much blood.. but somehow my son came out squeaky clean. Something like this would have had lasting power… oh well, there’s always next time.
I just don’t understand why some people DON’T want to keep things to themselves anymore.
My experience of giving birth is something that brings my husband and me closer together. Why would I even want to share that with other people?
But then I forget that many women having babies lately don’t have the daddy around to experience it with…
Keep that shit to yourselves. Not everyone thinks your fresh blood slathered coochdropping is a beautiful gift to the world.
“Long live the new flesh!”
Sorry, had to quote a bit of cronenberg, seems strangely appropriate
I’ve had three of my own and I still jumped a little. God damn.
@tom … Yea the first thing that came to my mind when i saw this was that movie “It’s Alive” LMAO. And if you Video google it you can watch it free
I hate c-section pictures. Why would anyone want to share that they were cut open instead of doing it the right way.
Blech.
Delicious.
My precious!!!
…anyone else have a boner?…. *raises eyebrows*
It’s a c-section, thus the operating sheet (so the mother doesn’t have too see her own guts) and the doctor is holding he baby over the sheet so the parents can see her. It’s a bit gross but everybody talking about ruined vajayjay, please STFU.
aww I think it’s beautiful.. If you’ve ever had or gave birth to a child, you wouldn’t think it was grose.
We all looked like that at one stage !
baby zombie attack!!!
Gah, bloody babies these days!
Blood-covered baby = disturbing.
This kind of image belongs in the delivery room, and nowhere else.
Couldn’t they have at least waited until the baby was cleaned up, like normal people do?
ok, I think I’m done.
Good Jesus-fucking God.
You think this is bad… I was 21, working at the 1-Hour photo counter at the local drugstore minding my own business. My buddy who worked the stock room comes over and says hey! my girl just had our baby! and hands me a disposable cam. Im like cool bro I’ll get these out asap. He failed to warn me that the pics were of the baby being born. And By “being born” I mean, all I saw was the baby’s head, a bunch of blood, and MORE OF HIS WIFE THAN I’D EVER WANTED TO SEE.
Is there anyone else out there ‘way more repulsed by the crude, unimaginative, and repetitive verbiage in some of these replies than by the normal appearance of a new-born delivered by section?
I always say you shouldn’t put baby pics on facebook when they’re fresh out the womb… but this just takes it to a whole new level! blehhh
Such a classic scene from the movie “Alien.”
Oh wait..that’s a baby? Sorry, my fault
ooo yes i remember that fabio face fowling, it was the best thing on the news just about ever.
Isn’t this from a horror movie? It shall haunt my nightmares tonight. Yikes!
The baby is cute. So what if he’s bloody, it’s natural. You prudes need to chill out.
Best teen pregnancy warning ever.
OMFG PEOPLE. STOP UPLOADING THIS KIND OF GROSS SHIT ON FACEBOOK WTF ARE YOU THINKING???
“AYE BITCH GIMME A DRINK”
I don’t find this picture offensive?
It’s not like it’s her profile picture or whatever. She made an album of photos of her baby and that was the birth. If her lady bits were in it or it was a picture of the actual birthing process I could see the hoo hah.
It’s a C-SECTION no “vajayjay” involved in this birth.
ok… I’ve got children, the single greatest thing in the world was to see my daughter take her first breath as she was nearly 2 months early being born. And if you were to look on my facebook and in several other places that I frequent online you would see pictures of her. Several of them are in the hospital, but not one of them is that bone-chillingly frightening.
The idea of “baby’s first picture” is a beautiful thing, however, it might be better filled after the child has received it’s first bath or at least the attempt that will be made seconds after this picture was taken.
Now, as to the folks in question that took the picture that made many around the world spit-take at the scrolling to that picture… I’ve only got one thing to say: think twice, then push the shutter button!
It looks like the baby just ripped himself from out of the womb…
@ Chantal
“Why would anyone want to share that they were cut open instead of doing it the right way.”
Really? Please remove yourself from this earth.
Dude, MJ#2, you are spot on. There’s something AWESOME about this image…
That dog is awesome … On the other hand that baby picture is =S
looks like the baby wants to just get back in the womb lol
That baby reminds me a bit of the Alien moves. It has just ripped through someones chest and is now diving at the person behind the camera. That dog is ace though
I can see how this could be a shock to someone just skimming through their news feed. Not in a bad way… just kind of in a “WTF WAS THAT?” way.
[...] break. When parents aren't turning their infants into LOLCats, they're posting every waking moment (literally) of their existence to the Internet for the whole world to go gaga over. Or, every now and then, [...]
[...] parents aren’t turning their infants into LOLCats, they’re posting every waking moment (literally) of their existence to the Internet for the whole world to go gaga over. Or, every now and then, [...]
I’m just not shocked or offended by this…
Guess I’m just a fuckin adult who knows babies are covered in blod when they’re bored. *woeful sigh*
Wow, so I call uber-fail on myself- “blood” and “born.” My apologies. Please, talk shit about me for such a retarded fail.
@ Kyle (77):
If that thing coming out of the baby’s elbow isn’t a spike or a talon, I would prefer not to know what it is.
@105 Abbie
Hey, that’s my bit!!
I’m not grossed out or shocked. I thought it was hilarious!
(And TMI…)
Quaid… Quaid… Start the reactor. Free Mars…