Thursday, July 22, 2010

Complicating Things

previous post: The Package

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44 Comments

  1. “who is this boy?” ROFL!! he was discovered in the AM, and he’s still sleeping in your bed at 4:15 PM? really? take a baseball bat to him and GET HIM OUT OF THERE.

  2. He had a blue tooth?? Surely that should make him recognisable to the outside world. I know of no one with a blue tooth.

  3. @switch HAHAHAHAHA AGREED!

  4. How do you pronounce “Shanttilla”? Is that like Chantilly lace and a pretty face? (Presley thought she was worth it) perhaps she ought to use L’Oreal.

  5. Poor Amy.

  6. Shanttilla: pronounced Shan-ttilla.

  7. @asriel is a blue tooth painful in some way then? Being a virgin, I haven’t experienced this kind of thing before.

  8. Please excuse me; I’m gonna be a know-it-all bitch here for just a second.

    Chantilly Lace = The Big Bopper or Jerry Lee Lewis, but never Elvis Presley.

  9. Shanttilla liking pizza is by far the funniest part of this post.

  10. I think she’s saying that their “activities” were being broadcast via cellphone, using bluetooth so she wouldn’t notice. That’s my theory, anyways. Hahaha

  11. 1. My favorite thing about the first one is Ed’s profile picture. It is truly comforting to know that he is so proud of his own penis.

    2. Shanttilla, we all like pizza.

    3. I think I know that guy ;)

    4. I wish that there was a blue tooth cam that you could wear on your head like a regular blue tooth headset that would be truly awesome. Imagine the possibilities, just imagine.

  12. The best part of this whole thing is Shantilla likes pizza. And Maria missed a perfectly good opportunity to have a guy friend pop over for when the stranger wakes up and say, “Good morning baby” or something.

  13. @EmmaKD
    Elvis sang it here on my hills. Shame you weren’t there. It was really something to behold.
    (Disclaimer – just because it’s not on YouTube doesn’t mean it didn’t happen)

  14. Maybe Shanttilla and Brian are arguing over whether or not they’re married…?

  15. Ok, so her friend Sandy woke up with him in HIS bed…is that a typo calling Sandy a guy, is Sandy really a guy, or is Sandy (male or female) still waiting around at this stranger’s house in the stranger’s bed to see who it is???

  16. Where’s the goat? Seriously, there’s no life without goats. On the other hand, the absence of cats is redeeming feature. They’re just evil. Or love. Which ever way you want to read it.

  17. Cats are love!! :)

  18. Along with my goats and abused kids, I have a cat called George. He chose his own name and also chooses when he eats. You may all be convinced that the sweet “meow” of a cat is “mummy/daddy I love you”. What the feline is actually saying is “NOW”. And purrs are growls of “you haven’t fed me yet, I’m going to fuck up your sofa”. Be warned, I’m just trying to spread the truth. A bit like Dan Fargis, but without the burning in hell forever bit.

  19. I know my cat only meows when he’s demanding something from me. They are not very loyal companions but they are great when they want to be.

  20. Shantilla, pizza is awesome, no doubt. However, I personally quite enjoy you fighting with Brian.

  21. Shanttttilla’s series of status updates looks a lot like the plot of a porno I saw once involving a pizza guy and a lonely housewife who can’t find her purse but is sure they’ll be able to work something else out to pay for the pizza.

  22. Regarding Donna:

    “But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye – even if it is your good eye – causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand – even if it is your stronger hand – causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” —- Matthew 5:28-30

    Maria and Amy both seem like the type of promiscuous sinners you find all across college campuses in America. Women oversexed based on the liberal Hollywood agenda of promoting women as sex objects, promiscuous clothing which leads to lusting in the heart of men, and an abandonment of a woman’s primary responsibility – to bear and rear children. The “feminism” movement was started by a bunch of men, most of whom were Atheists, in order to undercut the traditional Christian values of America.

  23. *wanker* cough….

  24. I love you dan_fargis!! You’re the only person on this site who makes sense!!! Keep spreading His word! They will listen soon enough!!!

  25. U know what. I am not even gonna read dan faggot his post. I hope u die i hell.
    I need tequila Psue!
    now!
    :)

  26. MsBuzzkillington

    There’s someone on my friends list who is like that with their relationship updates.

    Rant and rave about how annoyed he is with his wife and then they will fight through the comments. He will say how he is mad he has to go pick up her up from work. But then he will talk about how they are fighting and taking a break and he is really sad and misses her and the kids. He will go on and on about how lonely he is. But then he will start talking about them going places together again. Maybe it’s his wife making all those status changes.

    I wonder the time stamps between each time she changed her relationship status.

  27. Shanttilla rhymes with Godzilla.

  28. I’m not particularly traditional when it comes to relationship labels, but I’m pretty sure that this type of relationship status change is really just a cry for attention (or is a drama queen). Can somebody REALLY go from married, to single, and back again, in one fell swoop? I’m starting to think nobody should be allowed to put their relationship status on Facebook! Or maybe you can only change it once a month, maximum. I’m going to go start a fan page…

  29. Shanttilla Mari Hansen-Camp (Tilla Hansen)

    Of course she likes pizza.

  30. Dan Fargis = Mel Gibson = the new Frodo

  31. lumpyspaceprincess

    Shanttilla likes pizza.

  32. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    For the first time I actually looked someone up, and all I can say is that it’s very easy to tell that she like pizza.

  33. @jellypong

    While I don’t agree with sharing people’s full names on here, I could help but look. My thoughts?

    1. Oh yeah, she likes pizza alright.
    2. Oh no, she likes Insane Clown Posse.
    3. So, she likes working out, huh? Go figure…

  34. couldn’t*

  35. Okay, I’m sensing fat jokes here.

    Anyone here who DOESN’T like pizza, raise your fucking hand.

    My conclusion, liking food does not equal being overweight and being overweight does not equal liking food.

  36. HAHAHAHA LEGENDARY! I’mma famous! (I’m Maria, btw…!)

    @ dan_fargis, I’m not an American ‘promiscuous sinner’, I’m a Scottish one (well call ‘em ‘sluts’ over here) We do it better. Fact. Get back to wanking over your bible and allow us sluts to suck dick in peace, yeah? When we need an iPhone app updating us with Old Testament wank, we’ll call on you.

    Second of all, my friend Sandy is a DUDE! HE woke up next to said guy in HIS bed; I merely felt that the whole world should be informed straight away, and rightly so! And yeah, this dude slept until 5PM the following evening…! What. A. Legend.

  37. EVERYONE SHOULD LISTEN TO DAN FARGIS BECAUSE ONE-NIGHT STANDS ARE FILTHY AND SINFUL!!!

    FLEE FORNICATION!!!!!!

  38. Oh God, muepsi’s infiltrated other posts, now.

    I need more drink…

  39. I’m betting Dan Fargay and Mueslix are the same ‘person’

  40. Maria i like your spunk and besides not much to do during a scottish winter but play naked indoor sports.

  41. I know this makes me more lame than anyone on the posts, but I don’t really get why the Donna/Ed exchange is funny. Anyone care to explain?

  42. Oh please, I only WISH I was dan_fargis!! That man is far superior to me, and way more educated in God’s word than I am. But I aspire to be just like him someday!

  43. @ Psuedonym

    I did in fact check myself before opening my mouth, but with allmusicguide.com, not YouTube. I still say Presley never did it. I realize it’s not important in the least, and I wouldn’t have said anything if you hadn’t been condescending. That just irritates me.

  44. Did anyone else notice Ed’s profile picture?

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