Monday, October 19, 2009

College: If They Can, Anyone Can.



previous post: No One’s Helping Henry



  1. Damon, are you sure ‘your’ so smart? I think you meant to say ‘you’re’…

  2. Damon, if you are going to pick on spelling, you REALLY must proof before posting.

  3. OH GOOD! I shall throw the hard time and easy times!

  4. I wonder if T.j.’s god calls Buddha to fill in for those 20 days of vacation each year. With future “collage” students like these, no wonder even the almighty being needs a break.

  5. The grammar police are back.
    dun dun dun.
    Although, you are correct.

  6. “345 days a year”

  7. Judge Rage is correct. Or in the more general sense, don’t have strong opinions about things you don’t understand.

  8. I’ve informed people of this before, but Muphry’s law states that whenever you pick on someone for their grammar/spelling, you WILL have a mistake in your own. It never ceases to amaze me how true that law is.

  9. However, taking another look at those posts, they deserve to be hit in the face with a dictionary.

  10. #8: maybe for you. “Murphy’s”.

  11. Why would she need a “‘s” after TA?

  12. Aw, don’t make fun of those girls. Chances are they go to Boise State, it’s not their fault they’re being taught by nimcompoops who couldn’t teach their way out of a wet paper bag. =D

  13. Nimcompoops?


  14. I’m pretty sure the typo’s are due to the fact that she updated her status VIA facebook mobile. No one is stupid enough to not know how to spell brains. Pretty ironic he’s called her out when he doesn’t even know the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’

  15. ‘Muphry’! Apparently there is also karma for those who try to smack down the grammar police.

  16. There is a difference between a typo and stupidity. You can usually tell a typo from how close missing, incorrect letters are on the keyboard. Sarah is likely a bad typer as opposed to a bad speller.

    TJ is just stupid.

  17. I’m trying to figure out why this person would need a “‘s” after TA? One can be self-righteous…

  18. @balls: It’s because the TA owns the exclamation point(s). I hate my self righteous TA’s !!

    Looks rite to me.

  19. @balls

    Because Damon believes that the TA is in possession of “!!”.

  20. Fuck just so much wrong with everything in these posts, including Julie, WTF? As tyler said it is Murphy’s and that law states, “If anything can go wrong it will” it is not limited to poor grammar.

  21. (The TA is singular, you guys. He hates one TA that is a “god dambed hipster!!!”.)

  22. This does make me feel less stressed about school. At least I can spell.

  23. @Amanda-I teach college anatomy and you would be surprised at what gets misspelled and misidentified. I once got spatula for scapula and someone put that a brain was a part of the digestive system.

  24. god and i have an affair actually. we go out to aruba every year for 18 days.(it takes 1 day from aruba up to sky on both ways) travel planning takes too much time, so no caring for ones like TJ on those days…sorry tj, i need him only for me on the holiday season.

  25. *sigh* Apparently no one got the joke. Murphy is misspelled on purpose. You know, to go with the whole misspelling theme?

    In case you think I’m making this all up.

  26. @ mcowles & lefty

    Thanks it makes sense now. I’ve always hated those self-righteous exclamations points, they’re always looking down on colons and semi-colons.

  27. *sigh* i guesss we is not smarts enuff to undertands your inteelogent refrences, Julie.

  28. your should be youre, thats first grade grammar

  29. But, in her defence, she does hate hipsters, so she can’t be all bad.

  30. no, it should be you’re, not youre

  31. So, what does God do for those other 11 days (or 10 days on a leap year)? Smite everyone instead because he decided to do a 180 and hate the world and everyone in it?

  32. Yes, s, we’ve all figured that out already.

    Nice sentence fragments and lack of punctuation on your part, though. Very hip.

  33. Thee-Fifty-Six is my new favourite poster. That may be the best thing I’ve ever read on the internet.

  34. Boy, I wish a combed the internet for obscure references so I could partake in your inside jokes Julie. *sigh* indeed!

  35. s, you’re still wrong. There is an apostrophe in “you’re”. But not in “TAs” unless it’s possessive and not plural.

    Yes, we ARE making this about grammar, because that’s what the original post is about!

  36. i can has a coolege degree?

  37. You don’t need to comb the internet. You kind of just put two and two together. You know, Murphy’s Law is about things going wrong, Muphry’s law is misspelled and dealing with proofreading mistakes, it’s not that hard to figure it out.

    Perhaps in the time you aren’t combing the internet for obscure references, you could try dislodging the permanent wedgie that seems to be making you so bitter and unpleasant.

  38. @Thee-Fifty-Six

    Makes sense to me

  39. William F. Buckley

    Everyone under 30 is a fucking moron.

  40. Actually, @Julie, I thought it was clever.

  41. @William

    you’ve got that right.

  42. Ahhh, yes – 11 (or 10 days on a leap year) of pure divine bliss where God plays His hardcore ‘pretty much reality’ game, SMITE ATTACK, on His widescreen globe with the brand new Lightning Rod controller. “I SMITE YOU, FTW!” BOOM. Smitely smoted.

  43. I particularly like that Damon’s comment was posted 2 seconds prior to the screenshot being captured, implying that he was the one who captured it, and therefore pwned himself.

  44. Sarah’s status update reeks of C-
    Damon might get a B+ if I’m drunk whilst marking his paper.

  45. He will love us 24/7 345 (24 days a month – 7 months a year – 345 minutes a day)

  46. Oh. My. Obama.

    That is all.

  47. @Three-Fifty-Six:

    There are 365 days in a year, and during leap years we gain a day, not lose one. So the numbers of God’s non-loving days would be 20 and 21 respectively.

  48. *sings* Je-sus loves his lit-tle reeeetards…

  49. Even if I didn’t completely understand the Muphry’s Law thing, immediately saying it was “karma” that she misspelled it was just stupid. It was either on purpose, or, she had just admitted to spelling mistakes upon correcting others. So even if it wasn’t on purpose, “karma” had no place because she wasn’t picking on anyone. But we clearly now see it was.

    The people that started insulting her after just felt stupid. It’s not really all that better to know how to spell than to feel threatened by someone else leaving a comment (thus admitting you don’t know everything) and lash out.

  50. I’m Sidlexic.

  51. How many days has a year (or a leap year), Thee-Fifty-Six?

  52. @Just Sayin’:

    Psssst, you’re fast.

  53. Thee-fifty-six, you have made my day.

    (Does anyone know if they’re intentionally being retarded?)

  54. He ruined it by saying “your” -_-

  55. Well T.j. could be in kindergarten, or pre-school and can’t wait to start making collage’s. That may explain the poor effort in the second post. If T.j. is a 5 year old I would be quite impressed.

  56. @ Amy: And yet he’s still about a dozen times smarter than Sarah.

  57. Did anyone else notice that Damon missed the fact that she wrote “dosnt”

    Maybe T.J. is into art?

  58. man American schools must be realllly easy to get into

  59. I am scared for the future.

  60. @P. fuck off use a different letter. And off topic just saw the greatest fucking commercial making fun of the snugie. This dude rips the tv off with a crowbar, awesome!

  61. If you want to better understand our future, it can be seen in this instructive infomercial.

  62. I just hate the i before e except after c, ’cause there are alot of words that don’t follow that rule


  63. yeah yeah yeah

    should be a lot, not alot,

    f that s

  64. Damon just broke my heart by misspelling that correction.

  65. *Sigh*
    I think there needs to be a brief lesson on the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ in every English class.

  66. I certainly admire her use of the word “myriad” in her suicide note.

  67. @DGhan

    You’re gay with your gay comment.

  68. I started a collage at the beginning of the year. It’s of god throwing hard times and easy times at hipsters. I add to it each day, so far 783 days, and I plan on finishing at the end of the year so only another 3872 days to go. Yippee.

  69. Muthafukin' Maurice

    @Boz – Shut it, cocksucker, DGhan is right.

  70. T.j. is right. You will recall that on the seventh day, I rested. So ever since then I just take three weeks off a year. Even then I still love you guys but I’m usually too shitfaced to remember.

  71. damon, it isn’t ‘your’. it’s you are.

  72. God can you tell that story where us walking down the beach is a metaphore for my life?

  73. Thesaurapist 13(F)

    I think just reading these morons might have lasting harmful effects. The pure intense stupid reverberates right off the page and causes damage to the language centres of the brain.

    None of us is will ever be quite as god at spelling or grammar again.

    (please use [sic] if quoting that last sentence)

  74. @Two Tone Sammy
    Is this the meatyphore you meaned?

    I dreamed that I was walking down the beach with the Goddess Eris. And I looked back and saw footprints in the sand. But sometimes there were two pairs of footprints and sometimes there was only one. And the times there was only one set of footprints, those were my times of greatest trouble. So I asked Eris,
    “Why in my greatest need did you abandon me?”

    She replied, “I never left you. Those were the times we both hopped on one foot.”
    And I was really embarrassed for bothering Her with such a stupid question.

  75. Are the other 20 days when there are natural disaters?

    Not bad logic???

  76. Damon is wrong about an “s” needing to be after “TA”, because Sarah is clearly only talking about one TA, not more than one (“god dambed hipster” not “hipsters”).

    And even if she WAS talking about more than one TA, the correct grammar is not “TA’s” but “TAs”. There is no apostrophe because the “TA” is not in possession of anything. It’s like when you see signs that say “Thousands of CD’s and DVD’s on sale!”. That’s the same as saying “Cat’s and dog’s”, but people think the first example is correct and the second is incorrect, when in fact they’re both wrong cause none of the things mentioned are in possesion of anything. People just think things like CDs and TAs need an apostrophe before the “s” because they’re acronyms.

  77. Damon probably also submitted this himself, editing out the delete to get on here.

    awfully fishy for it to be found 2 second after making it.

  78. So close, Damon. So close.

  79. To Mikey – Es-ki-mo

  80. and god hates us the other 20 days

  81. I laughed so damn hard at Paul’s comment.

  82. What’s a TA? And why is it self-righteous?

  83. Territorial Army? (And most of them are.)

  84. OMG *DIES*

    Damon, first of all, if you’re going to be a Grammar Nazi, PLEASE check EVERYTHING you type after you’ve typed it. It seems as if you are contradicting what you say. I absolutely HATE when people mix up “you’re” and “your”. It’s so easy. If “your” is supposed to be in the sentence, obviously “you are” isn’t supposed to be.

  85. @76.

    Actually if an acronym or an abbreviation contains internal punctuation, the use of the “‘s” in forming the plural is considered by many linguists to be correct. In such cases the “‘s” does not mark the genitive (possessive) case. Example: Ph.D.’s

  86. I’m pretty sure TA stands for teaching assistant. Usually a graduate student who helps teach the class or runs the smaller, classroom sections.

  87. Maybe T.J. means good as in he’s got some good weed? That’s what I hope.

    “As long as you have good weed you don’t need anything.”

    I agree, T.J. I agree.

  88. That’s right, 345 days a year Jesus loves you. Shoop Jesus!

  89. Damon, you hypocrite! You used the wrong “your”, you’re supposed to use “you’re in college”. I hate hypocrisy…

  90. some people are just so stupid how did they even get accepted?

  91. @ Damon. It’s YOU’RE not YOUR.

  92. T.J. : God does not exist, your spelling fails epically and I don’t know what planet your from but here on earth a year is 365.25 ish days.

    Sarah : A monkey could spell more accurately than you do.

    Verdict – both these people are a monument to everything wrong with the schooling system.

  93. @Atheismo Congrats on being a massive tool. By your logic you’re also testament to what is wrong with the schooling system as you have trouble discerning when to use “your” and when to use “you’re”.

  94. God will only love you 345 days a year. The other 20 you’re on your own.

  95. Ok. yes, I spell like a drunk monkey. I know this. But I also have a 3.5 (w/o cheating) at a big ten university. And, even though it was after class, my TA was glaring at me when I wrote this. So I take the fail. I would like to thank the academy!

  96. @ Sarah (that one)

    Which Big 10 university? Because depending on your major, a 3.5 at Michigan, Purdue or Northwestern is a hell of a lot better than a 3.5 at Illinois, Ohio State or Indiana…

  97. None of the above. I’d rather not tell because I don’t want People to figure out who I am. But I’m not in some ghetto crap school like Ohio State!

  98. T.J…are you serious?

  99. Poor T.j. He doesn’t realize that he doesn’t have to wait until next year to start a collage. He can start one right now! And it will be a jolly good time!

    Sometimes the glue gets everywhere and the fun stops.

  100. Hey Damon, YOUR use of YOU’RE is just showing that you know how to point out the speck in someone else’s eye but disregard the 2″x4″ plank in YOUR own eye.

    T.J. 345 days in a year? is this the Jewish calendar?

  101. @Sarah (that one)

    It’s ok, we can’t all be from good schools in the Big 10. I must have filled that quota already.

  102. because God wont love you for the other 20 days of the year.

  103. Everyone deserves a vacation.

  104. mander salamander

    ..345 days a year…

  105. Hey Julie…I’m a Murphy, and seriously, I got your joke and actually lolled. Snarky comments are fun. I’ll have to find a thread not to jack and comment on the morons too. Poor college girls that were former Homecoming Queens, having to share breathing space with Hipsters. Actually, they rather deserve one another.

  106. Damon, she also misspelled “I’m”, “I’ve” and “doesn’t”; forgot to capitalise the first word of the sentence; didn’t hyphenate “self-righteous” or “god-damned”; and over-used exclamation marks. You, meanwhile, misspelled “you’re” and forgot to end a sentence with a full stop.

    Now… what did I do wrong? :p Is it “misspelled” or “misspelt”? Should I have used semi-colons or just commas? Should I have used the word “and” after a semi-colon? Should I have said “period” instead of “full stop”? Should “full stop” be one word?

  107. @ Jill Smartass

    Absolute 100% effort. In fact, it is so good it might upset the spelling-&-gramophone nazi’s here as they won’t be able to spot a mistake anywhere in your post. Or should that be, nazis?

    The post by One Stone Whammy (#74) is by far the funniest, cleverest and winning-est post of all time, like, for 345 days a year. Just had to mention his post after all this time because no one else did. You deserved better, One Stone.

    And isn’t it so delightful how some persons arrive here late – not bothering to read any of the already posted comments – then entertain us by posting something that has already been repeated ad infinitum and ad nauseum. I am in fact pretty sure that the very next post is going to mock T.j. for following the 345-day calendar, because no one else has noticed it yet.

  108. omg, 345 days a year! Lawl!


  109. @ bleu

    *wink* well done!

  110. @ Jaco: neither. “Nazi” get a capital because it’s a proper noun. Let’s go through all the errors in the first example, because Jill Smartass gave up caring before pointing out all of them. “Self-righteous” should have a hyphen and “righteous” is misspelt. The next sentence doesn’t begin with a capital, “Im” is missing an apostrophe, “dosnt” is like a cat walked on the keyboard, “ive” misses a capital and an apostrophe, “brai” tells its own story, “god dambed” should be one word if it were spelt correctly, “God” gets a capital because he rocks one fuck of a beard, and “dambed” is obviously a throwback from RE class and “lamb”. God works in all sorts of fucked-up ways.

    Oh, and Damon should get over the fact she missed the “‘s”. He missed the 49th day of fetal neural development.

    Jill Smartass above covered pretty much everything else (but should it be “arse”?), although my penchant for double-quotes will get some people worked up, fo sheezy.

    And let’s chalk up a big, juicy FAIL to everyone above sounding off about possessive apostrophe usage and bleating about poor spelling when their own reads like they’re missing a chromosome. Thesaurapist13′s effort – “None of us is will ever be quite as god at spelling or grammar again” – is all we need to see. Finally, fuck you William F Buckley for assuming everyone under 30 is a moron. I’m 28 and arrogant middle-aged men are only good for having desperate wives who’ll do anything I tell them to.

  111. tl;dr… :sigh:

  112. That's... awesome

    Yeah, back to Twitter for you buddy.

  113. In response to #14: what does her typing her status on Facebook Mobile have to do with anything? I update my status on Facebook Mobile all the time and I don’t make mistakes like this.

  114. Damon, if you’re going to be a grammar policeman then get it right:

    Sarah misspelt (or misspelled for our American friends) ‘righteous’, ‘I’m', ‘doesn’t', ‘I’ve’, ‘brains’ and ‘damned’. She also didn’t give God a capital letter. However, I don’t think that TA needed an ‘s’ on the end because she was talking about a singular; she later says ‘hipster!’

    Damon, you lame boy, you misspelt ‘you’re’ whilst picking fault with someone else’s spellings, and only corrected a few of Sarah’s mistakes which suggests to me that you didn’t realise the rest were wrong.

  115. Lmao @ TJ’s second status down. That is classic.

  116. TJ’s second status is one of the few here that really made me laugh out loud.
    I immidiately thought “And the other 20 days of the year, you’re on your fucking own.”

  117. WOW. Tj is just a moron. Plain and simple!

  118. I understand Damon correcting Sarah and i respect him but he misspelled “You’re” which kinda ruins the whole you’re a retard and i know spelling so I’m gonna correct you thing…
    + T.J should probably repeat 1st grade or make that kindergarten…idiot.

  119. i guess god hates us for the other 20 days of the year

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