Thursday, May 27, 2010

Chk Chk BOOOM

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52 Comments

  1. Ben?

    Eh, I can’t decide if Becca should break up with him, or be impressed that he had the presence of mind to “make the shotgun noise b4 he blow it”.

    I’m pretty sure I’d laugh my arse off.

  2. fuck you miss shegas…i wanted the Ben! I had to take the title of this one as my login name, long time follower, long time ben obsessor, first time commenter!

  3. whatbrighteyesyouhave

    haha chk chk boom before he blows?!?! yes, Miss Shegas, I’m gonna go with she should absolutely admire and appreciate his presence of mind in vocally expressing how much he loves to beat that p****y up.

    it would turn me on. maybe she needs to be a little more adventurous and open-minded in the bedroom.

    ….then again, if he was expressing a desire to ACTUALLY fire a round into her vagina….well, then she may be completely justified in her anger.

  4. This is the best post I’ve seen in awhile.

    & Justin is my hero.

  5. Exploding Minx

    In the heat of the moment, I would find this hilarious.

    In fact, I’d probably request it.

  6. Epic! Becca, as if you dont love that! And also, I dunno, but I wouldnt be posting that on FB

  7. YorkshirebornNBread

    who says sex can’t be fun? I guess he shot his load there, wonder if he gave her both barrels? or misfired and had to empty his shells into his hand…..

  8. I like how Jo tried to be funny but to me.. Jo failed! Why does Becca keep missing the letters off the end of words?

  9. Toadette is the winner

    haha that’s awesome. also, did she mean “last STRAW?”

  10. “Last Draw” and ” Shotgun Noise B4 He Blow It” I don’t know but I would blow it .. I mean go for it ….. Really I’m with whatbrighteyesyouhave its adventurous , you have to keep an open mind in the bedroom… Oh Becca

  11. My boyfriend once shouted out about 7 or 8 Best Picture Oscar winning titles while climaxing… It sounded a bit like “The French Connection!!! Oh God… Annie Hall, Amadeus, Chariots of Fire Oh, Oh, Rain Man……….What the hell did I just say?”
    I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard doing the dirty.

  12. BOMB’S AWAY!

  13. Toadette- maybe she meant it was HIS last draw?

  14. Now THIS is Lamebook! I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time.(Wow there is a couple of puns in there.)

    This reminds me of one of my “episodes”. I went about a week without unloading my shotgun. When I finally got the chance, we were going at it like rabbits on Viagra. When it came time for me to fire I pulled backed and unloaded a few rounds. My partner started to laugh at me. I started to ask her what was so funny and I realized I shot her right in the eye. I almost fell over laughing so hard.

    I thought that was pretty impressive considering that was about a four foot shot.

  15. whatbrighteyesyouhave

    @HeSaidWhat…that’s so hot.

    sexing and laughing complement each other so well….ah beautiful release of endorphins….

  16. What is with the “Ben” thing? It’s always in the first post?

  17. YorkshirebornNBread

    @HeSaidWhat
    Rabbits on Viagra???

  18. I’m with everyone else. I think is freaking hilarious. She and her boyfriend obviously don’t get each other very well if they can’t share a laugh while having sex.

  19. tangalangadingdong

    @riddled That’s hilarious! Like sexual Tourette’s! Or sexual terex, if you follow a Lamer from the other day.

  20. It really is Bright eyes.If you can’t laugh during sex then you need your pulse checked.

    Yeah York, I am a man with needs. The wind blows the wrong way and I’m at attention. Hell even if the bus hits a bump just right, the lady across from me is liable to see what rabbits on Viagra really means.

  21. Justin, next time yell, “FIRE IN THE HOLE!” considering that you and Becca will be back together in 4 hours having make-up sex.

  22. @ tanga, Haha! Sexual Terex. I love it. I am indeed a loyal follower. The teen werewolves made my week.

  23. HAHAHAHAHA Shotgun noises….

    @nuff… Fire in the hole? I would suggest a course of antibiotics then!

  24. Dear Becca,

    I’m sorry to inform you, but if your boyfriend is pretending like his dick is a gun and making shotgun noises before he nuts, you are not “making love.”

    You’s fuckin’.

    Love,
    Lia

  25. Exploding Minx

    I bet Becca is one of those chicks who sluts it up something fierce when she’s out in public, but once behind closed doors, she reacts like a PETA banshee being forced to murder a puppy everytime a guy tries to jizz on her tits.

  26. If the shotgun noise was Becca’s “LAST DRAW,” what were the irritating circumstances leading up to the breakup? Did Justin conduct some kind of dick puppet show as foreplay? Enquiring minds…

  27. Somebody tell me again. Why do you want to roll in shit?

  28. HeSaidWhat… that reminds me of a time when my ex and I were getting into it… and he went to blow his load [god I hate that phrase] on my face and it literally ALL went RIGHT up my nose. I have no idea how it fucking happened, but it all went up my nose. All. Went up. My nose. We could not stop laughing for about a half hour afterward. Especially when I kept blowing my nose to get it out. Bahahahahaha oh man.

    /tmi session

  29. Haha, I really liked this one.
    Seems like it’s a common occurence from ‘you and justin will be back together in 4 hours’.
    So he’s like, sixteen in mind (or in actuality, who knows), but she absurdly overreacts to everything he does, then they take a quick ‘break’, she fucks everyone she can, then they get back together to do it all again?

    Not to judge.

    Lulz: I laughed.

  30. Miss Shegas has gone blue. It looks good on you, girl.

    Lulz, I liked your story, it kind of reminded me of a porn I saw once, but the girl inhaled it deliberately. Through a funnel.

    It’s the longer route, but it gets down hatch in the end.

  31. Oh my, I am laughing so hard. That is some of the funnest shit I have ever herd. Did he make the gun gesture too with his hand and wink?

  32. *Heard. Sorry, no sheep here. Well maybe, but only when I’m lonely.

  33. I don’t think I’d like my bf to make any funny sound effects when approaching climax. If I cant keep him interested enough to forget about any amusing antics, then I must be doing something wrong.

  34. Figarto, if you read back far enough you’ll find the origin of the “Ben” posts, when Ben (who used to be a prolific, but rather angry + opinionated contributer)had such a slagging off fit at people who posted “first” all the time. So everyone posts “Ben” in the hope it winds him up some more. It’s funny – we’ve not heard from him in a while…

    Becca, it could’ve been worse. You could’ve been doing the bad thing & Justin tenderly squeezes your boobs, looks you in the eye & says “These feel just like your sister’s”

  35. Paranoid Android

    Pistol whipped anybody? Anybody? Nah, just me.

    Firing blanks? Dummy Bullets? I could go on but won’t.

  36. @Cenobyte – really? Really? You’re not up for even a little bit of humour in the bedroom?

  37. pffft… I’ve been making amusing sex sounds for years and have never reached this level of notoriety.

    Just last week I used the classic ‘grunting asthmatic hippo’ as I splashed my milk, which never fails to impress, or how about using the awe inspiring ‘bronchitis riddled foul mouthed slavering wildebeest’ when you squirt the fat?

  38. “awe inspiring ‘bronchitis riddled foul mouthed slavering wildebeest’when you squirt the fat?”
    Fucking A Imamofo. I have never fallen off my chair from laughing before. Thankyou.
    BAH HA HA HA HA HA!!!

  39. Guys.. after much consideration I actually think she meant to say “Last Straw”.. which is scary. Lol

    Try it, if you say it really quickly it sounds like “Last Draw”!!

  40. my favourite things to say when i’m coming are along the lines of:

    ‘fuck, i left some evidence!’

    and

    ‘how long does semen take to decompose?’

    or

    ‘is there a wood chipper round here?

    the ladies LOVE it.

  41. @gingivitis I think making shotgun sounds would be pushing it. :)
    I doubt it would be as bad as to warrant a break-up but I would certainly be questioning the amount of passion he was feeling at that moment.

  42. @alordslums Now that Would make me laugh. Ok, something is seriously wrong with me.

  43. looks like he misconstrued the meaning of cumshot.

  44. wow, just wow
    it was really hard to keep from filling the entire office with laughter

  45. Chk Chk Boom,
    How you like me now
    That sound be echoing round the room
    It make a noise like Splat!
    Some of it hit ya brow
    When I spit ma fat.

    I be treatin’ you like shit
    Cos bitch you’re a fool
    Make a shotgun noise B4 I blow it
    And drop a load from ma tool.

    You say I be treatin’ you wrong
    But Becca this shit be so fun,
    So I wrote me a song,
    And act like ma Dick be a gun.

  46. Um, AMAZING and AWESOME!!!! LLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  47. I usually go off half cocked

  48. This post is now responsible for my monitor being covered in beer. Nice one Justin

  49. I would be thrilled if my boyfriend did that.

  50. haaaaahahahah, brain power and solidarity of a blobfish.

  51. Great, at my moment of climax forevermore, I will hear “Click Click Boom” in my head. And laugh uncontrollably.

    Goodbye moment, goodbye girlfriend’s respect.

  52. Fucking horrible.

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