Lamesters Archive

Classy Girl Ya Got There Anthony



Val, girl, you are not the first to pull this amazing prank! One time I bought this cute boi an 800 dollar bracelet (cause every girl knows the way to a man’s heart is through expensive jewelry). So I go online expecting his relationship status to say “single” but guess what?! Instead I find a picture of his gf giving him a HAND JOB in the back of a ’98 Ford Taurus while wearing the bracelet!! I was like sooo pissed off! Ugh. So props to you Val, I’m sure that skank will lay off now.




Now I’m not a betting man, but I’m willing to wager a few dollars on the fact that you did, indeed, go to elementary school. And at this school, I’m sure you were taught that the word “and” does, in fact, start with an “a”. I know those 3-letter words can be tough, but education is the cornerstone of our future.

Well, Nikki, even if you don’t desire to further your studies, you obviously have a future in the music industry. With lines like “BITCH BOO I AINT GOT TIME FA U” you’re destined to be the next Beyonce.

How Not to Sell a House


How Not to Sell a House


Note Found On Shelly’s Front Door:

Dear Shelly,

I am sorry I hit your house with my truck. The damage ain’t too bad, so looks like it won’t cost you too much to fix. Thank God that house has got great bones, or my Dodge would have leveled the thing! Well … you take care now.

-Hank Boscoe

P.S. Heard Mikey got shot with a pellet gun. What’s this neighborhood coming to?!

You Lost Us at “Actually Care”



Josh, congratulations … all of the time you spent writing this note has earned you a Lamester Award.  Not only because it’s long, a little pretentious, and includes the word “schadenfreude,” but also because if we understand you correctly, and what you’re saying is true, you’re leaving Facebook for a while.  And sure, this may be right for you, but come on man! If you start some sort of Facebook exodus revolution then … well, we’re out of business.  And frankly that’s just lame.

♥ The Editors




Brittany, honestly; you’re hurting your computer. Does your spell check not fly into an epileptic seizure every time you type a sentence? Let me clue you in on something, your spell check is not the problem, you are. Unless your computer automatically becomes fluent in ‘sassy bitch’ I don’t think the two of you are ever going to get along. That restaurant is really good though.

♥ The Editors

Mommy’s Handsome Man


Mommy's Handsome Man

“I wish people would hate war the way they hate this post. It would be a better world.”

Personal Information:  The Lamebook editor writing this review thinks that Johnny Cool is kind of a douche.  According to his mom it’s not cool to brag … even in third person.

With his clever wit, hilarious commentary, and defiance of his mom’s advice, it makes sense for him to bash on this tool for what he has posted under his Personal Information.  He’s often seen hunched over a keyboard flaunting his typing skills both in and out of the office.

He’s young, web-savvy and cooks a mean Cup O Noodles. Look for this up and coming cheese-dick hater to be crowned Wired’s Sexiest Blogger Alive.

♥ The Editors

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