Douchebags/Douchebaguettes Archive

Happy Mother’s Lame

lamester6

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Today we’re going to focus on Jonathan, but not for long because there’s some other news to discuss that’s way more important than a hateful young man.  In fact … let’s just leave it at this; Jonathan, not cool. No reason to bring back the “yo’ momma” jokes unless you’ve time traveled to the blacktop behind your elementary school, and especially on Mother’s Day!  Alright … now that we’ve touched on that, we here at Lamebook want to apologize for the recent lack of frequent updates and let you (special) Lamester readers know that we’ve been busy working to improve the layout and functionality of the site.  So stay tuned and we’ll smack you up with a whole ‘lotta lame real soon!
♥ The Editors

High Standards

lamester2

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Who doesn’t like a good recipe? Recently I found a great one for some no-bean chili … and boy was it good. But honestly, (maybe I’m alone here), I have never ever once in my whole life wondered what the recipe for a good teacher is. Ever. I just can’t help but wonder where the hell this came from. Did this come from Jessica’s brain? Did she make this shit up? Or did it come from one of those cutesy teacher books that are only sold in stores with wooden crafts on the wall? Point is, it doesn’t matter. You can’t use the metric system for things such as “knowledge” or “dedication” … it’s impossible … and ridiculous. And how the hell do you grab a “pinch of humility?” Growing up, my recipe for a good teacher was a bunch of leaving me alone, a whole lotta hotness, and good deal of looking the other way. So thank you Jessica for making this post, but I’m afraid this list will not make it into anyone’s recipe box.

♥ The Editors

Anything… LAME

lamester2

anything-lame

I enjoy reading peoples profiles to learn a little bit more about the people I call friends. I usually don’t take profiles like this seriously but I’m not sure about this one. If you want to OD on drugs like heath ledger, It’s not that hard. And that worries me, because you do grind hard and play harder.

♥ The Editors

Lame In a Bottle

lamester2

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Hey Kendall,

Wow. So glad Adley isn’t relying on you for milk anymore. Now He/She can rely on daddy for breast feeding. I am glad Adley is so excited to eat, because I’ve lost my appetite. Too much information. Thanks Kendall.

♥ The Editors

Making Sweet, Sweet Lame

lamester1

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Things that I understand: You have been having “tantric sex” for 12 hours. You encourage others to have “tantric sex” because you obviously enjoy it. You offer helpful advice and your friends return it with a concern for your hydration.

Things I do not understand: Is your real name King or are you an actual king? The latter would make more sense due to the fact that you are having “tantric sex.” Next, 12 hours? Seriously? No one believes that. Also, what kind of girl lets you stop and update your facebook status during “tantric sex.”

I hope you are joking because nobody buys it. It’s lame. Congratulations.

♥ The Editors

Progress?

lamester
obama

Natural Selection: the process by which Charles Darwin described nature’s ability to filter out the weaker and less “worthy” creatures of a species.

Nature is amazing. It gave us Mt Everest, the Rainforest, Bald Eagles, and loveable Koalas. It is amazing but not perfect. It also gave us the DoDo Bird, Indiana, and Mosquitos. The aforementioned natural selection works great but has somehow allowed you, Timothy McVey, and Billy “Oxyclean” Mays to slip through the cracks; all purveors of great ideas. That being said, here is one more term for you…

Strip Search: the process by which the secret service will undoubtedly make sure you aren’t carrying weapons after they break down the door to your one room efficiency apartment and find you facebooking your exboyfriend who is now boning the hot brunette chick from his Psychology class.

♥ The Editors