Thursday, November 19, 2009

Bodily Dysfunctions





previous post: The Sexual Network



  1. Thesaurapist 13(F)


  2. second asshat in here

  3. Here’s a natural remedy for Jennifer, stop sleeping around slagface.

  4. 3rd

  5. FU no way

  6. Thesaurapist 13(F)

    fuck, where’s my [stroke] [/stroke]???

  7. who cares if you are first you asshole.

  8. Thesaurapist 13(F)

    *crawls away shamed*

  9. Thesaurapist 13(F)

    Phew, thanks flexo – thought I was going to be the biggest accidental douche on this thread till you turned up.

  10. Man, I usually don’t actually LOL when I say LOL… but Nicolas made me LOL.

  11. It is spelt doosh asshole. learn it and apply it.

  12. rebecca, why did you lol 3 times in one sentance.

  13. I like turtles.

  14. Flexo, what is up with the incorrect spelling corrections you try and oppose on people? Not that I am trying to be a douche *(doosh) just curious lol.

  15. Jeff, dont be such an asshole. show me one place where doosh is spelt douche. It doesn’t exist that way ANYWHERE.

  16. Lmfao, I love Hannah’s post. Are the x’s at the end supposed to make the post seem less weird?

  17. Actually flexo it’s spelt douche

  18. Love watching the trolls feed.


    Then again you may disagree with that as well =)

  20. Flexo –

  21. Damn, Jeff beat me to it, I swear I didn’t copy you

  22. fuckin copy cat posers up in here.

  23. @flexo
    it’s actually spelled “asswhole”. who’s the doosh now, eh?

  24. Haha It is all good MetalMonkey. At least we are on the same page.

  25. How is that website even credible? I need a source that is credible, not some asshole dictionary website.

    slobo, you are the biggest asshole of all.

  26. *vibrates*

  27. Ahh such greatness lol

  28. Why hasn’t anyone commented on the fact that dildos don’t vibrate? Once they start vibrating, they’re called vibrators. Dildos are just penis-shaped vagina impalers, nothing more.

  29. Flexo go ask your doctor to give you one, then ask him to spell it for you

  30. Flexo is a terrible troll.

  31. *vibrates* for mcowles

  32. king, i dont even know what you are talking about. if you have neckbeard, then you are the troll, and i bet u is a fatass too. asshole.

  33. Learn to spell fucktards!!! its spelt pdoosch (with a silent p)

  34. Man o man I love me some 7r0015

  35. Hannah’s confession of sporting a 70s earth-mama bush thrills me more than the trolls do.

  36. doosh, douche, pdoosch, it doesnt matter. The main thing is they are referring to vagina cleansers. Greatest invention ever. I want me a strawberry one.

  37. @ flexo

    * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
    g g
    o / \ \ / \ o
    a| | \ | | a
    t| `. | | : t
    s` | | \| | s
    e \ | / / \\\ –__ \\ : e
    x \ \/ _–~~ ~–__| \ | x
    * \ \_-~ ~-_\ | *
    g \_ \ _.——–.______\| | g
    o \ \______// _ ___ _ (_(__> \ | o
    a \ . C ___) ______ (_(____> | / a
    t /\ | C ____)/ \ (_____> |_/ t
    s / /\| C_____) | (___> / \ s
    e | ( _C_____)\______/ // _/ / \ e
    x | \ |__ \\_________// (__/ | x
    * | \ \____) `—- –’ | *
    g | \_ ___\ /_ _/ | g
    o | / | | \ | o
    a | | / \ \ | a
    t | / / | | \ |t
    s | / / \__/\___/ | |s
    e | / | | | |e
    x | | | | | |x
    * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *

  38. well that didnt work

  39. fail

  40. massive one.

  41. try again! lemme guess, a picture of a goat having sex?

  42. Thesaurapist 13(F)

    No worries bumhead: there was already a powerful background radiation of text-stunt fails in play in these comments . . .

  43. you like goat sex bumhead? you are the biggest asshole ever. And so are you umbongo

  44. but i like playing with trolls. damnit it used to work. well, i feel a robert the bruce coming on here…

  45. Thesaurapist 13(F)

    “Do Deformed Rabbit, it’s my Favourite.”

  46. i love this flexo guy!

  47. ok one more try

    * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
    g g
    o / \ \ / \ o
    a| | \ | | a
    t| `. | | : t
    s` | | \| | s
    e \ | / / \\\ –__ \\ : e
    x \ \/ _–~~ ~–__| \ | x
    * \ \_-~ ~-_\ | *
    g \_ \ _.——–.______\| | g
    o \ \______// _ ___ _ (_(__> \ | o
    a \ . C ___) ______ (_(____> | / a
    t /\ | C ____)/ \ (_____> |_/ t
    s / /\| C_____) | (___> / \ s
    e | ( _C_____)\______/ // _/ / \ e
    x | \ |__ \\_________// (__/ | x
    * | \ \____) `—- –’ | *
    g | \_ ___\ /_ _/ | g
    o | / | | \ | o
    a | | / \ \ | a
    t | / / | | \ |t
    s | / / \__/\___/ | |s
    e | / | | | |e
    x | | | | | |x
    * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *

  48. oh dear.

  49. Is it like a Rorschach test?

  50. its supposed to be ascii.never mind. ill stick to what im good at. which isnt much.

  51. Flexo, what does it look like to you?
    tell me about your mother…

  52. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

  53. I guess this is what happens when Lamebook posts weak shit like this

  54. i know of a natural remedy for ‘a certain burning itch’… don’t be a fucking whore.

  55. ooooo bumface… so close

  56. best cure is wearing a condom dumb ass

  57. Does putting a condom on after contracting AIDS work as well?

  58. Dear Lamebook,

    Congratulations on your roaring (and speedy) success! I wish only the best for your excellent site – it makes me laugh every day, and your commentors are, for the most part, hilariously clever.

    Because you’re so successful now, perhaps it’s time to employ one or two people as comment section moderators? Even on a voluntary basis. It might make a more pleasant browsing experience for new visitors to the site not to have to deal with “FIRTS!!!!!1″ comments, totally OT “I like hedgehogs” comments, people who post lyrics to songs, and people who post gobs of ascii code that’s supposed to look like a picture.


    Good luck to you and all you do,

    Spike Nesmith


  60. love your show spike

  61. Dear Spike Nesmith,

    Congratulations on being so superior (and intelligent) to us all. Your posts are clever, incisive, innovative and witty; you make me laugh every day. You are indeed the master of the internet. I bow down to you

    So perhaps instead of posting pretentious shit like your last posting, you should put your skills to a better use, perhaps encouraging world peace, combating global warming or saving endangered species.

    Good Luck to you and all you do,


  62. Clone will clone this

    I’m with you, Spike.

    If the headmaster of the school of learning disabilities is looking for his/her pupils, they’re in the lamebook comments section.

  63. @ Benn

    Its spelled doosh

  64. wrong bumhead, its spelt pdoosche

    also sorry Clone, I save my intelligent shit for the comment section of the NY Times.

  65. They have a comment section in the NY times? now i wish i could read.

  66. Dearest Umbungo,

    Is it possible to be “so intelligent to us all”? I’m no expert on English, but that one didn’t make sense to me.

    Out of interest, are you still being drunk in the Congo, or have you moved?



  67. bumhead – thanks! =)

  68. Dearest Spike,

    Yes, it is possible. Phrases in parentheses needn’t take part in the grammatical construction of the sentence outside of the parentheses. Please lets not have a fucking lame grammar/spelling shitstorm as that shit fucking bores the shit out of me.

    As for being drunk in the Congo, a google search advises it is still be produced, but I haven’t seen it in years mores the pity.

    All my love,


  69. Thesaurapist 13(F)

    For the record, on Lamebook at least it is undoubtedly spelled (or spelt) as “doosh”, in sacred remembrance of it’s original use here by Jason during his Monster Fail. I apologise for introducing its first misspelling into the thread.

    I’d also like to take this opportunity to express my remorse at having done the ‘FIRST’ thing too – it was supposed to read as FIRST!, but I used ‘stroke’ instead of ‘strike’ in the tag: probably something to do with all the bean flicking going on earlier in the day.

    I hope these clarifications will serve as some small recompense – I have been off my game this evening.

    Also . . .

    Way down deep in the middle of the Congo,
    A hippo took an apricot, a guava and a mango.
    He stuck it with the others, and he danced a dainty tango.
    The rhino said, “I know, we’ll call it Um Bongo”
    Um Bongo, Um Bongo, They drink it in the Congo.
    The python picked the passion fruit, the marmoset the mandarin.
    The parrot painted packets, that the whole caboodle landed in.
    So when it comes to sun and fun and goodness in the jungle,
    They all prefer the sunny funny one they call Um Bongo!

  70. Can we all blame Jason now for introducing the word doosh to us?


    freakin’ awesome



  73. Flexo fail again and again! Just like always hahaha!

    There should be a “flexo” button you can press when a post is truly lame and annoying.

  74. I just noticed there are a lot of Hannahs on this site. “The more you notice, the more you know” :O

  75. I know the remedy for Jennifer’s particular (parasitic) itch: get an icepick and a garbage can. Fill the garbage with gasoline and climb in. Light it…and when the little crustaceans start jumping…STAB EM WITH THE ICEPICK. Works every time.

  76. *can

  77. hey spike , why don’t you like hedgehogs ?

  78. BTW: I think it’s spelt arsehole

  79. Jonathan sure knows about farts !

  80. That is my mom!

  81. My daughter…….

  82. Wonder if shes hot

  83. Why is there a “dislike” button on Summer’s post?????

  84. Because there are various apps and plugins to add it, none of them work amazingly, but they’re not too bad.

  85. Hannah reminds me of a girl on my friends list who follows up literally every status with a bunch of kisses. I’m waiting for the day that she announces her first bout of the clap with the inevitable subsequent xXxs

  86. The natural remedy for a certain burning itch is not to get an STD. That usually helps.

  87. @ flexo

    This is really funny, and now I have a chance to use it…

    I am trying to see things from your point of view,
    but Im afraid I simply cannot put my head THAT FAR up my arse.

    You are, as you say, a ‘doosh’ or the CORRECT spelling (because I CAN spell) douche.


  88. If you put a clove of garlic up there, it will get rid of itching and burning…have to do it for about 4 days…Just thought I’d add that, cuz it IS an all-natural remedy :)

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