Friday, February 25, 2011

Blonde Bombs

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60 Comments

  1. I know the last blondy probably meant from half way throught her 20′s… But jebus christ these women sound retart.

  2. Pretty sure the first one meant that the horse is EATING like a pig. Just like when some people see an obese woman and say “Whale”.

    And since when did turkey become ‘vegetarian’? Does she not realize that it was once a living creature??

  3. Thanks for explaining the joke in that vegetarian one thio.

    Where would the internet be without intelligent people like you?

  4. STEEEEEEEEEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR?

  5. How can a whole family (including the kids – which I assume they have since Heather’s their nanny) be vegetarian? Being vegetarian is a choice, whereas kids just eat what’s put in front of them. What they mean is “we’re vegetarians, and we’re feeding our kid a vegetarian diet too until s/he’s old enough to rebel.”

    Turkey burger w/ organic ketchup sounds awesome, though.

  6. Really, ace? That’s your problem with the turkey burgers being vegetarian?

  7. Is it bad that I totally understand and can relate to Amy?

    ace- what’s it to you? same can be said about the kids of meat-eaters; they eat meat until they are old enough to make their own choice and decide not to. Either way, that still makes them meat eaters…

  8. “Eugh”! Maybe I wouldn’t be such a fucktard if I hadn’t been born 20 years late!

  9. Am I stupid? I don’t get the last one, besides a typo. I must be stupid.

  10. @girlskill
    Halfway to your 30′s is when you are 15. She’s past the age of 15.

  11. Yeah, I gotta agree that she was calling the horse a pig because it was chowing down…So I’m guessing Rory is the dumb blonde for not catching on. Suck those pig balls you dumb brunette.

  12. Technically turkey burgers are made from.. well Turkey, so okay that’s not the technical bit, here we go: and turkey isn’t meat, its poultry. And vegetarians officially only don’t eat meat – lots of them eat fish for example which also isn’t meat. And so turkey burgers are vegetarian friendly food, in some Food Eating for the Protein Defficient Guidebooks. Well that’s my take on it anyway, chances are he was just beingdumb.

    And I had this crazy thought that the four-legged, equine mammal in question might have been named ‘Pig’ Perhaps? Like taking a picture of the US President and captioning it “Obama” for example…

  13. How is poultry not meat? It’s just meat from a bird…

    Either way, people who call themselves vegetarians while also allowing themselves to eat animal flesh of any kind are just bullshitters. Either eat it or don’t, but don’t lie about it to impress your hippie friends.

  14. In my (vegetarian) opinion: Poultry is not vegetarian, neither is eating fish. Eating fish is pescetarian, before you all start with the “but I’m vegetarian and I eat fish”. Turkey burgers are by no means vegetarian.

  15. I’m 27 and I’ve been a vegetarian since I was a small child. My parents tried to feed me meat and fish and I’d just reject it. Those who say that vegetarians eat fish or chicken are not vegetarians. Vegetarians do not eat any animal flesh (https://www.vegsoc.org/) and anyone who says they are vegetarian but eat chicken or fish are fake ones and they drive me mad.

  16. Alright nice vegetarian people, thank you all very much for clearing that up for us.
    Now please fuck off, you’re boring.

  17. I’m a vegetarian but I eat fish tacos.

  18. I’m not boring :(

  19. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I don’t like vegetarians. I don’t care about their personality, nationality, gender, sexual orientation, skin color, or the contents of their heart. I judge them solely, SOLELY on that one decision to not eat meat for the rest of their lives.
    Does this make me a Vegetarianophobe? Maybe but you can’t prove it because I have a boss who is vegetarian.

  20. steak tar tare … love it.

  21. So tell me. If I cut some really thin slices of meat from a (sedated) cow to make myself a nice beef carpaccio, and then I patch the cow up so that she recovers and goes on to live a long and joyful life ….. that would make me a bona fide vegetarian, right?

  22. I appreciated their comments. Someone needed to tell peterpiper he had his head up his butt.

  23. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Nope, but it would make you a surprisingly caring nut-job.

  24. Ha ha. Could be. But I’m thinking: I’m happy, miss Cow is happy, no harm done!

  25. I can swing either way. It depends what’s on the menu.

  26. German sausage?

  27. I don’t eat anything that once had face, still has it’s face, or could develop to have a face on it. I’m not a hippie, I hate hippies and people with no fashion sense

    and that’s my contribution this this boring FRIDAY discussion.

    As you were.

  28. I dont know about y’all but I thought these were slightly funny considering some of the things thats been posted on LB lately… Kinda sucks though since I had surgery today and it hurts to laugh… FML

  29. mass, it’s funny you mention German sausage. The coffee shop next to where I work has just started selling it. But it’s all chopped up and mixed with pasta and chicken. I must say it doesn’t look very appetising. The owner of the place, however, does look very appetising. He gave me my coffee for nothing the other day…

  30. I’m a vegetarian and I love hamburgers.
    Oh, wait. Damn.

  31. I’m a vegetarian too!! And I too eat fish! And chicken! And turkey…lamb, cow, pig, dear, the occasional baby, wild boar, elk, baby seals, sausage, hot dogs…yup. 100% vegie here.

  32. I eat words.

  33. @vikesgal- no shit! I just had surgery 2 days ago and it STILL hurts to laugh..

  34. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Hehe mass eats word‘s.

  35. I am zero for two today. I am going to blame it on the alcohol.

    I used to vegetarian and one day I was at a restaurant looking at a menu and I thought, yeah! yay! I can get a turker burger! But then I realized my mistake. But, it still happened.

    Also, I was thinking that the girl in the last one was correct. Next year she would be 25 and that would make her halfway to 30. I thought for sure there were no mistakes. But the 3 and the 5 are kinda close… especially on a phone.

    Who picks these posts? Can’t we vote?

  36. I loled at Mass (#32) then I loled at Dukey (#34)….I think this proves how immature I am. A good fart joke and I’m yours.

  37. doctorchalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    Half way from 20 to 30, maybe. But why is 20 a landmark from which to count? Surely 18 or 21 would be more appropriate. Or 0. 20 isn’t a significant age in any culture. If you count from 25 she won’t be half way to 30 until she’s 27 and a half. I don’t understand her arbitrary selection of points from which to count her progression to 30.

  38. #31 what about whales? They’re mammals and quite tasty!

  39. Meat substitute, 5 letters, doesn’t require batteries.

  40. #28 #33 Recovering from a lobotomy? Didn’t know they still performed those.

  41. I laughed @ mass, even though I didn’t get it at first,but I could relate, I too, eat words, then when dukey explained it, I really laughed, I can’t relate anymore, but it’s a lot funnier now :)

  42. mass wins : )

  43. I think were all winners here..

    ..but special thanks to Dukey, laugh.out.loud, Spanka and saffer.

  44. In your dreams, mass #32. Nah, I laughed.

    Is it my imagination, but are quite a few Lamebookers (including myself) getting cut open of late? It’s like we’re all going out in sympathy for the ailing Lamebook itself.

    And fuck me, but Buzzkiller and doctorchalk should hook up. They are perfect for each other.

  45. Yes, it is in my dreams word.

    sigh.

  46. vegetarian here. whole life, never eaten animal flesh of any kind so that “until old enough to rebel” comment isn’t all that reasonable. anyway yeah vegetarians like myself who don’t eat animal flesh of any kind tend to get upset when people call themselves vegetarian even though they eat poultry and fish and in my case eggs which I do not as they’re would-be fetal chickens.

  47. terminaltrip .. I totally respect that. It is just so opposite of how I eat. I really used to eat a lot of steak tar tare… eggs, I eat 12 every 2 weeks, a chicken every month and enough pork to sustain a small village … but I bet you out live me.

  48. Terminal, you make me feel so dirty!

  49. Terminal, you are aware that the eggs most people eat aren’t fertilised, right? What you’re actually consuming and its potential to become a future chicken is like saying if you swallow after a BJ you’re a cannibal.
    Just sayin’. I don’t actually eat eggs either, or red meat or poultry (pescetarian here), but I do think that unless you’re vegan and it’s all about eating no animal products at all, the decision to give eggs some sort of high priority is a bit random.

  50. i don’t get why the second one is supposed to be funny or stupid? i’m pretty sure heather’s referring to actual napkins and not the kind of napkins for periods. it’s kind of TMI that she’s posting it onto fb, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

  51. I am a vegetarian too, raised as one but always given the choice. One time my brother somehow got it into his head that he wanted sausage, so my mom got him sausage and, big surprise, he didn’t like it.

    As for eggs, the eggs you buy in the supermarket were never fertilized and would never have become a chicken because they don’t keep roosters with the chickens. And even when they did get fertilized, they will only hatch if the chicken keeps her eggs warm, which she will only do if she’s in the mood to. My parents keep chickens. They also get in that mood sometimes when they don’t even have any fertilized eggs or even any eggs at all. Then they will sit on their nest for days and hardly eat at all. For nothing

    I’m not sure if any other animal does this. Personally, I think it’s pretty stupid of chickens that they practically give birth to nothing so often. A waste of energy to them, but I’m not complaining…

    So vegetarians don’t eat animals, not just meat. Vegans however think that it’s not just wrong to eat animals, but also to use them. So they don’t eat animal products like dairy and eggs.

    Lol Smeemonkey, love that analogy, that’ll teach Terminal for swallowing. I don’t really understand the pescetarianism though. You grant mammals and birds life but fish deserve to die? Are they worth less than the others? Or is it, as pescetarians usually say, because you think you can’t get all the substances you need without eating fish? There are plenty of healthy vegetarians and vegans out there to show you don’t really need fish.

    But humans aren’t meat eaters nor vegetarians, they are opportunists. Picky eaters. They eat only what they like, and what they like differs from person to person. Meat disgusts me, but other people love it. And in some time the laboratory grown meat that they are making at my university and that was never part of a cow or pig will hit the markets. And then I won’t care anymore what other people eat. But I still won’t eat it because like I said, meat disgusts me.

    So I’ll just go kill some broccoli.

  52. Ok so since we’re all on the eating animal products issue, I just wanted to weigh in with the comment that apparently drinking a lot of milk can cause prostate cancer. Carry on.

    PS Mass #32 that was nicely done lol

  53. As I went home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be
    I saw a salad upon my plate where my old beef should be
    Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
    Who owns that salad upon my plate where my old beef should be?

    Ah, you’re drunk,
    you’re drunk you silly old fool,
    still you can not see
    That’s a lovely veggie burger that me mother sent to me
    Well, it’s many a day I’ve travelled a hundred miles or more
    But a burger made of vegetables sure I never saw before

  54. Nicely done mass. You have a lovely singing voice.

  55. At the risk of replacing my head up/in/around my arse (thanks, lametothemin) I would like to add that I heard (again: maybe I should stop doing that?) that occassionally free-range eggs from a farm rather than a factory can be fertilised when you eat them if the rooster gets to the hens too quickly but because they are removed from the hen so early in the stage the egg doesn’t progress from being eggy stuff and yolk into being a chick at all. Look it up if ya don’t believe me.

    As for vegetarians, you can’t say their stupid if they eat such and such or eat fish or don’t eat whatever cos to be frank, they’re are pretty silly. If anyone’s religious out there then God gaves us animals to eat after Noah’s flood (although I don’t believe that fairy story, I just like the taste)

    Oh and finally, what’s the betting that some or all of these veggies don’t own a pair of leather shoes, or a china bowl or a golf ball for example. If you want to be a true vegetarian then remove all of these: http://asimpleparadigm.blogspot.com/2006/07/tons-of-products-made-from-killing.html things from your life.

  56. I think you’re missing the point peterpiper. If we “pretty silly” veggies removed all of those things, we’d be vegan. Hence I would be calling myself vegan rather than vegetarian.

  57. #55 not everyone is a vegetarian to “save the animals,” I hate that image. I’m a vegetarian because the taste of flesh disgusts me, because I feel healthier and lighter, and faster (in sports) without meat (esp red meat), and because I don’t just put anything into my mouth including a lot of other non-meat foods such as white rice, white bread, frozen foods… it’s a health choice, there’s no political attatchment to it.

    I hate every word of your argument- “…God gave us animals to eat…” Take away the imaginary/ unproven (which any god is) and come up with something more logic and valid. The irony of a religious argument claiming that anyone/ anything else is silly is amusing.

    Based on food alone (all else being equal), I bet you I could out live you.

  58. Saffer, I completely agree. I was actually just thinking that… Vegetarianism is first and foremost a diet. It is true that most vegetarians don’t eat animals for idealistic reasons, however the two are not linked. Anyone who doesn’t eat animals, whatever their reasons may be, is a vegetarian.

  59. Is it true that all vegetarians love sucking cock and licking bollocks because they are missing meat from their normal daily diet?.. I read it in a scientific journal of some renown so I’m guessing it must be true?

    Personally I will only eat what I would also fuck… I’m a Fuckutarian

  60. If you only eat what you would also fuck, does that mean you eat people or fuck animals?

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