Monday, August 24, 2009

Better Get Started

Better Get Started

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65 Comments

  1. Not be hit anymore? WTF?

    I don’t know if she’ll have time to squeeze the relationship with God into her plans. Will her lingerie store only sell to married women?

    Also, her degrees by themselves would take over 10 years and are not applicable to any of the shit she wants to do.

    Idiot.

  2. masturbation is free

  3. I hope for Kylie’s sake that she’s only six years old.

  4. To be honest by the time I reached “not being hit anymore” my heart broke. =( Lamebook is now Sadbook.

  5. I don’t see “Take my lithium” anywhere, although it should be on the top of her list

  6. Errr…conceited much? who cares.

  7. Why doesn’t she just say, “ambition: to be Forrest Gump”

  8. Donald Trump's Comb-Over

    The epitome of narcissistic.

  9. I never did become an astronaut.

  10. That IS a bigdream. I’m impressed she managed to knock that out in one sleep.

  11. Kylie is probably a twenty-year-old meth-addicted stripper in Tampa, FL with two kids and a husband in the county lock-up for violation of a restraining order…

  12. Surrounded by wonderful people ? poor fuckers would have to put up with your up your own ass ambitions . Why am i commenting on this i dont even care ha!

  13. To be a writer you are going to have to write in proper grammar.

  14. so self centred..ugh

    she made 5 comments on her own status

  15. I’m still keeping up my dream of playing in the NBA while owning NBC and being the best actor/comedian since Dane Cook! Dream on Kylie!

    (Dane Cook is the sarcastic part)

  16. …twin boys?

  17. Honey, when daddy bounced you on his knee and told you you could grow up to be whatever you wanted, he was mostly blowing smoke up your ass.

  18. Lmao, her head isn’t a gold mine :p

  19. agree with #4 sally. pretty sad.

    also, whats wrong with having a lot of dreams and ambitions? dear kylie: good luck, take things one step at a time. if you accomplish even half of any item on your list you’ll have done more than the dicksucks making fun of you.

  20. Kylie, ADD much?

  21. “Designed a Tuscan-style home” = Glued dry macaroni onto a paper plate

  22. @qqa – She won’t accomplish anything on the list because she has no focus on any aspect of her life. It’s great to be ambitious, but if you are trying to do a million things, you won’t get anything done.

    Agreed that the hitting part is sad. She is obviously overcompensating for the shitty life she leads, but someone should tell her she is being ridiculous… and lame.

  23. Being able to spell “illuminati” (or even misspell it the same way twice in a row) would be a good first step.

  24. @ Jonas – I was so confused about the Dane Cook part until I read the disclaimer haha.

  25. @maybenot I was going to make that same comment, but with “eight years old”. You win.

  26. In 16 years, there is gonna be one more disappointed person in the world.

  27. I swear to God, I read that last one as requesting a free PSA to help her and my brain immediately started writing a new “The More You Know.”

    –”Dreams can come true, but usually only after years of back-breaking, soul-crushing hard work. So dream big, but not so big that it’s not going to be reasonably accomplished within a natural human lifetime. Da da da DA!”

  28. Aside from all the other glaring problems with her goals… what does she expect to accomplish with a “Masters in Law”? If she is American, I’m thinking Kylie means a JD (if she wants to practice law) or an LLM (if she wants to work in a law library or be some kind of faculty). Might be a good idea to look these things up before making them your life’s ambitions…

  29. I saw this movie. It turns out the spirit of Ben Franklin is trapped in Kylie’s body. They get separated at the end.

  30. lay off the meth kylie

  31. She brags that she is going to do all these things (that would take 7 lifetimes to complete) and then asks for people to help her. No surprise there.

  32. I’ll bet in 10 years she’ll be a mother to 5 in a 2 bedroom apartment living off of her child support and blaming all of her dashed dreams on the kids, ex husband and friends who didn’t “help” her.

  33. @21: LMAO Helen! You owe me a new screen.

  34. I like the inclusion of creating an Illuminati group. That which is so clandestine and exclusive that no one is sure whether it exists or not? Good luck with that. I’m sure they’re interested in a franchise.

  35. Twins boys is quite a tall order, assuming she’s not bothered about them being identical it’s going to be around a 1 in 160 chance. Still, more feasible than some of her other ambitions.

  36. If she wants to accomplish all that, she might need to return to second grade to learn the proper past tense form of “learn.”

  37. I bet she hadn’t even heard of the Illuminati til she read the Da Vinci Code. Then again, if she had read that, she’d be aware of the fundamental issue that would prevent her setting up such a group and also having a ‘strong relationship with god.’

    Probably best to choose one and stick to it…

  38. Kylie (whatever)… created the illuminati group called the Biggus Dickii…owner of a sad Australian early ’90s name….played the paper comb and coloured a book in….filmed her Valley-Girl mates on her Blackberry, discussing Versace and make-up…the label she’s on about is probably Gucci, from her handbag….

    Most of us can see right through all of this shit; doesn’t she realise how Clueless she comes across? Like, totally….

  39. Kylie =/= Barbie

  40. Er, Blue Crab: “Learnt” IS a correct past tense in some parts of the world.

  41. I don’t think the details of her aspirations are the point – it’s that she so casually adds she has been the victim of physical abuse for 6 years.

  42. Divius caelus! Must have been a nightmare!

  43. This is just golden…

  44. Yeah, uh…good luck with that.

  45. bahaha, she’s got my vote when she goes into politics…not.

  46. “to not be hit anymore”
    “my head is not your gold mine”?

    Is her head like a Super Mario coinbrick or something?

  47. ^L!O!L

  48. Is this Sarah Palin????

  49. We don’t let people join the Illuminati who can’t spell the name. sorry Kylie.

  50. twin boys are in her plan, huh?? I didn’t know we had much of a say in what gets made in there?

  51. Kylie is probably a young girl (under 20) honestly this particular post isn’t all that funny.

  52. she must be a saggitarius.

  53. the best is still that she is looking for PAs to help her with that.

  54. more to the point, shes looking for FREE PA’s
    With her business empire and what not you’d think she’d be able to afford one…

  55. Sounds like someone has been hit on the head too many times..

  56. You don’t see a lot of Lawyer/Neurologists these days. Especially those who’ve raised twins.

  57. The only people with that many plans are age 5.

  58. looks like someone’s been playing a little too much M.A.S.H.

  59. Her head is a gold mine of shit ideas.

  60. I love how she talks about Illuminati, spiritual growth AND ‘God’ all in her future…Something’s wrong here…

  61. I, too, always wanted to grow up and to be a Politics.

  62. creating an Illuminati group and having a strong relationship with God? that’s a “BIGDREAM” alright.

  63. Amazing. 62 comments and still the only thing said, was about the people who made 62 comments. So, you either all think Kylie’s worthy of ridicule because: a) she has unrealistic dreams to you; or, b) she has been abused. Well, I see there is actually a place for people who get off on laughing about abuse and thinking everyone should share in their own mediocrity, as since they can’t gain self-esteem from their own success, everyone has to wallow with them. Well, as long as it keeps you all quiet in the real world, then I guess this place has a useful purpose after all, even if it is just to keep the useless out of the way of the rest of us.

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