Saturday, March 10, 2012

Benni Gets Busted

previous post: Trouble on the Internet

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47 Comments

  1. An update on a Saturday?

  2. An update on Saturday and some actual funny posts during the past few days, its a rare moment…….enjoy it.

  3. The lamebook gods have smiled and their pearly whites are shining down on us…..shining like glitter stripper lotion. Mhmmm

  4. :Facepalm:

  5. I almost feel sorry for Benni. The fact that he posted this on Facebook, and then it ending up on here means that poor ol’ Benni is NEVER going to live down beating off with glitter lotion with his friends. I think he’s earned himself a new nickname.

  6. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    So THAT’S how you know life is rough.

  7. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Sparkle cooch? I HAVE to use that in a sentence sometime soon.

  8. I don’t know what’s worse. The fact the bitch is that stupid she can’t tell or doesn’t know that it’s her lotion or that she’s such a tightarse prude the poor guy has to have a pull. He’s better off without her methinks.

  9. One classy chic this gentleman was in a relationship with… The fact that she owns glitter lotion is quite disturbing in itself..

  10. She’s just pissed that she wasn’t the stripper he was seeing. Maybe he saw her neighbor

  11. Wait… do all strippers have a sparkle cooch?! Every day IS a school day.

  12. My brother likes to masturbate with baby oil.

  13. Lol beatus I don’t even wanna ask how you know that. I’m thinking a walk in at the least lol.

  14. Waiting for MsAnne’s edumacational take on the sparkle cooch and niggelets…

  15. @13 It’s a line from an Adam Sandler song. The “Turkey” one I think.

  16. yea, u no charisa shudda no benni be like dat, he all bout jackin wit dat glitter lotion

  17. He could have also told her he only used the glitter lotion on his piece so later on when surprised her by asking her to put on a Hermione costume so they could re-enact his favorite scene with her where he shows it to her and she offers to polish it for him until it starts to glow.

  18. * replace glow, with SPARKLE!

  19. slicingupeyeballs

    “she’s such a tightarse prude the poor guy has to have a pull”

    Huh? Who says you have to stop the awesomeness that is solitary sexytime, just because you have a sheila?

    Nothing beats having a lovely wank after you have performed the dreadful, mucky task of shagging your missus. The beauty of it is you can retrieve any woman you want out of the ‘wank bank’ and do whatever you like to/with her, and she is never a controlling bitch, fat, or on the rag…

    (unless, of course, that is what you are into)

  20. slicing, if shagging your missus is dreadful, you’re either doing it wrong or the chick is a terrible lay.

    (unless, of course, that is what you are into)

  21. crusto should be pretty excited by this post. That black dick is single now…

  22. slicingupeyeballs

    Nah, shagging ANY woman becomes a chore after the first few times. It’s only exciting when they are virtual strangers, and still in the ‘trying to impress you’ stage…

    Could try the glitter lotion to liven things up a bit though I suppose…

  23. ^it’s like you’re empty inside and no one understands you, right?

  24. slicing, I hate to be the one to tell you this (actually, nah, not really), but it must be you who’s the terrible lay. Pleasure-filled, satisfied women do not stop trying to impress you after the first few times.

    Just so you know, half the stuff they show in porn doesn’t actually endear you to a flesh and blood woman. Spitting on her clit and rubbing vigorously without any foreplay to speak of, or strapping her to a table while you rub your cock against her face will only turn her on if she’s freaky as fuck. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but play the odds, man.

  25. slicingupeyeballs

    Wait, what?

    Women are capable of enjoying it too? And what is this ‘clit’ and ‘foreplay’ of which you speak…?

    I may look for this clit thing while strapping mrs slicing to the table this evening after pudding…

  26. Well played. Mrs slicing is one lucky lady.

  27. one *fictional* lucky lady.

    you had me right up to ‘after pudding’.

  28. What’s wrong with pudding?

    It should be DURING pudding, though, not afterwards. Strip the missus, strap her to the table, open the pudding, pour it all over her, and then eat it off of her skin.

    Do that on camera, and you can make money from it.

  29. Mrsbeatusmongous

    No. I told you – NO.

    and not the thing with the dog, either.
    mother was right about you.

  30. Lol love.thanks for the backup bacch. I’m damn sure that if you resort to pulling over sex it’s either a) you suck so bad she don’t wanna fuck you or b)your a virgin who creams at the thought if it. Based on current observations I must concur…how many times have you been divorced based on bad sex slicing?

  31. I smell a 3way, bacchante,slicing,and msanne

  32. Love it*

  33. maybecakes, that’s pudding you smell, not a three-way.

  34. slicingupeyeballs

    She didn’t like it. Apparently my foreplay isn’t big enough, or something. Although the rhubarb sponge was nice, so not a complete loss…

    and sadly, rhubarb sponge is not a metaphor…

  35. Benni looks like a fucking horse disguised as G.I Joe.

  36. ^lol, so true

  37. For those with no imagination…

    Woman + rope + peanut butter + a dog = quality entertainment.

  38. Mrsbeatusmongous

    For those with no marriage…

    Tarpaulin + rope + peanut butter + a dog = quality accommodations.

    I’ll see you in court, fucko. >:(

  39. Lol Mrs slicing

  40. LOL

  41. Do not mock me.

  42. Mrs., I will see YOU in hell, you blue-waffled whore.

  43. Mrsbeatusmongous

    I’m the mother of your children – one of them, anyway.
    how could you speak to me like that? surely you must have some feelings left for me?

  44. How can I possibly be the father of an Asian child, a caucasian child, and a black child? I’m Libyan.

    Wait…

    I’m Libyan! Off with your head!

  45. Oh my God, you’re married to Angelina Jolie, aren’t you?

  46. …uh, yeah I am. Why do you ask?

  47. this guy, is the same guy from the website texts from bennett…. if you think this is funny, see more.

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