Friday, March 26, 2010

Bags & Baguettes

previous post: A Little Drunk

RELATED POSTS:


72 Comments

  1. Lol, at the twilight status

  2. I WOULD IMMEDIATELY BREAK UP WITH KAITLYN.

    But I would never break up with mcowles.

  3. “Straight”. Right.

    Also, Candace has esteem issues.

  4. Dear Kaitlyn,

    Please die.

    Love, beckyboo

  5. Kaitlyn is crazy, if you break up with her, she’s gonna cut you.

    mcowles is a jerk, he won’t stop having sex with my hand, whenever I’m trying to shower. You should DEFINITELY break up with him, Lulz.

  6. Candace should just get on the pole already. Or at least take her damn shirt off…

    The pair of flexing scrotebags in pic 2 in classic attempted machismo. Ed Hardy & Affliction t-shirts to boot. Just join the UFC already you wankers so we can see you get knocked out.

    Also notice how the douche on the right is holding his beer bottle.

  7. dancesforcookies

    I really hope that Travis does not own a bunny.

  8. I dnt get it….

  9. ha I made the shirt that the guy on the right is wearing.. love you lamebook!

  10. “She’s a slut! Bong!”

  11. Good for Candace. I like a girl who can take the initiative and make her own fapping material…

    You KNOW that’s what she’s doing with it…

  12. I feel sorry for Candace. She has to hold up her own boobs. Pretty sure she’s wearing a bra, too.

    :(

  13. That is pathetic. Lamebook has dropped its standards

  14. Kaityln makes me weep for the state of humanity.

    @gwang – Dogma, much? Classic.

  15. Slow day in the Lamebook “news”room.

  16. There should be one of those Saw movie scenarios that puts someone in a room with those two closet cases. There’s just a gun and one bullet. Personally, I’d kill myself before the video even got done explaining the test.

  17. @Reaper lamebook just lifted its standards ten fold in my opinion! Good on them for paying out Douchebags like those in photo’s 1 and 2! :D

  18. “You are the twilight of my life”?

    So I’m basically the grim reaper. Splendid.

    People at Kaitlyn’s comprehension level should NOT be playing in the sandbox of metaphors.

  19. I hope Kaithlyn dies in a fire.

  20. @throwingtofu

    Or alternatively, he’s a meaningless pile of shitty drivel over which millions of prepubescent girls have fawned without realizing how little there really is behind the covers.

  21. Jeez, I hate those bodybuilding cockspanks. Always with their ‘bro’ and ‘reps’ and ‘freakn sick’.
    But I do like the terms ‘bags’ and ‘baguettes’. Somehow lends it a bit of Parisian chic.
    A bit. Not a lot.

  22. …You are the the dark half of my life…the desperation on my horizon…the misery of my being…and the dead zone to every morning. I love you so much Carrie, er, I mean Christine baby.

  23. JamesBondInTheOctagon

    STRAIGHT MEAT!!!

  24. The camwhores kind of hot… I’d hit it

  25. The only straight fact is how much meat each of them takes up the ass from each other.

    Kaitlyn, go kick rocks and ingest some bleach.

  26. Dr. Azizted-Homicide

    wrong, mcowles. if you broke up with kaitlyn, she’d cut *herself*

    and say what you want about those d-bags in #2, anyone who works hard on self-improvement in any discipline is worthy of respect. those two being goofballs is hardly a reflection of the group, and looking down on someone says more about the judge than the judged.

  27. You know what’s fun? Using derogatory terms to describe people you respect. Come on, try it with me: Einstein was a cocknozzle. Edison was a taint licker. Fun, isn’t it?

    Did you say it with me? How dare you! The sheer audacity! Only I’m allowed denigrate people who have done something with their lives. You lot are just small, sad, and jealous of the accomplishments of your betters.

  28. @ Soup: You forgot that Franklin was a cock chugger?

    The only Straight Meat in that photo was in their pants from looking at each other.

    Kaitlyn, Edward Cullen is a fictional character and he will never love you. Unless Travis dresses as Harry Potter, I don’t think he will either after reading that post.

  29. This is way too confusing. What about straight meat? See…! It’s confusing. P.S. Soup, we should get married and have little Campbell’s together!

  30. If I’m interpreting her correctly (and I am), Kaitlyn is saying she wants Travis to kill her (twilight of life) by sitting on her face with his naked ass (new moon) until she suffocates (eclipse of being). The break of dawn thing is either a reference to when she wants him to do this, or she’s saying she wants him to break wind while he’s sitting on her. Freaky chick, that one.

  31. @HeSaidWhat
    Franklin banged everything that walked or crawled, so I figured a couple dicks would be more of a compliment than anything else. But don’t give up. We can rewrite history right here on lamebook. Viva La Revolución!

    @Eenerbl
    We could have a couple Campbells, but I also think we would have to give back a little. Adopt a Progresso, and maybe even a Chunky. We could put his fat ass to work in the yard. Free landscaping!

  32. Fuck yeah! I’m all for free landscaping! Shit, I have a pretty fucking big yard! Let’s put that fucker to work! Let’s make Progresso our yard bitch, while our little Campbells can work the kitchen, and Chunky can do our laundry! Sound good?

  33. Well honey, you know that Progresso would likely be the better cook, and Chunky needs the outdoor work to burn off that tubby belly. Our little Campbells will get real jobs outside of the house to support our lifestyle. We can then fuck, and drink, and read all day long.

  34. Soup! It’s like you’re in my head. I love you! I will never have to work again, Campbells will be our bread winner! So when will Progresso have diner ready? I’m starving! P.S. let’s put Chunky to work ASAP, the yard needs trimming bad! After that you can join me in bed.

  35. After? Are you crazy? That’s what the portable intercom system is for. Wherever we’re at, we can direct the children to do our bidding without ever having to actually talk to them face to face.

  36. How dare I put our lust on the back burner! Sorry Soup (My Chicken Noodle) I’ll think better next time!

  37. lol you guys are funnier than the post

  38. Eenerbl, that’s ok, you’re the spitfire redhead. Your passion and impulsiveness more than make up for a few stray neurons.

    @naaaaice
    Are you a chick? Because although I might be fake married, I still like fake banging other broads. Hell, even if you’re a dude, I’d probably give you a fake reach around.

  39. @Soup lol yeah i can be your fake mistress ;)

  40. i think kaitlyn just made me miscarriage

  41. Hey, us redhead are full of passion! Full of fire we are. And let’s leave the neurons out of this, that’s too much too add in the the mix. I’m too full of your soup, Chicken noodle or otherwise to think on a full stomach.

  42. @Naaaice
    Score. The beauty of this fake relationship will be that you are never on your period, and that my cock is huge.

    @Hedonist
    Yeah, even with John Wayne at the helm, those horses can be fickle.

  43. candace must have some shitty tits to have to hold them up

  44. @Soup
    and even when your adopted childen find out there will be no problem because they are just adopted so eenerbl wont belive them. besides Chunky never was that smart.

  45. Eenerbl, no need to think. Just rest your weary head. Let me take care of everything. Lean back, yeah, just like that. Comfortable? Good. Mmmphrablemmmaretggj….

  46. Naaaice, ha ha! Fatties are stupid. That’s why I love Chunky, he’s like the cow of people.

    And that’s the fantastic part of adopted kids. They can feed us grapes while we have sex. They’re not blood so it’s not creepy, it’s just like one of those renaissance paintings.

  47. @Soup
    exactly. its perfect because your wife never finds out and i cant have kids because i never get my period… and your cock is huge.

  48. MONSTROUS!

  49. I like that in the first one the P is cropped out of the word photo at the top… so it just says hoto :)

    I giggled.

  50. Soup, I’m worn out. Have a good night!

  51. This wouldn’t be the first time I scared off the ladies with my ginormous wang. I really need to start being more modest.

  52. Oh, timing is such a fickle mistress. Enjoy your evening eenerbl. One of these days we will have to revisit those art classes you took back in the day.

  53. I hope Travis got out of there right away. I mean geeeez. What a horrible thing to say to your boyfriend. I wouldn’t stand for being so insulted if I was him.

  54. …I am so ashamed that I share my first name with a TwiTwat. That’s even more of an argument for me to change my name quickly. I never did like it to begin with, and that just makes it worse…

    *shudders*

  55. Kaitlyn’s post is horrible and silly.

  56. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Amen to

    Soup 15
    Soup 21 Nice King reference(s)
    Gogloplex 23 yeah she is doable
    sensiblemadness 29
    hobo 52

  57. You are the stinking, fetid pile of flaming turd of my life.

  58. Kaitlyn is at the top of the list for brutal curbstomping.

  59. lol

  60. Words Of The Day:

    cockspanks
    cocknozzle
    taint licker
    cock chugger

    Thank you, LB posters. Thank you.

  61. I have to agree that the comments are a lot better than the post itself.

    That said I think there only should be one Word of the Day:

    cocknozzle

  62. Some people should NOT be allowed Photoshop.

  63. Soup! Honey, it’s not that your “Wang” is too big. I was very tired. All that talk about soup, and what not wore me out. But I’m sure your Wang is suffice!

  64. My wang is indeed suffice
    It is certainly very nice
    The most magnificent device
    That can come strongly even twice
    You might want some advice
    On how to afford the price
    But you need only to roll the dice
    To see action yet thrice

  65. And devoid of pubic lice
    Wouldn’t want to pay THAT price
    To enjoy my major vice
    With Soup my man of spice

    That’s all I got.

  66. At least Candace called herself average. Though ‘desperate’ is the word that comes to mind…

    I think Travis is some kind of stuffed animal…

  67. Exitghost, I too share her first name.
    And I’m horrified to say she is not the first of our namesake to show up on Lamebook with pathetic comments.

  68. Viva La Revolución!

    You know you don’t even have to read what Lamebook has posted to get a laugh. Just scroll down a little father and you’re in there.

    You’re Welcome moose.

  69. Soup (My darling Chicken Noodle) and my wonderful word (Oh, the memories), your rhyming skills are amazing! You should feel honored Soup, all this talk about your Wang! Bask in the glory of it Soup, bask!

  70. HOW DARE YOU SHE’S A NICE LADY!

  71. Id fuck candance if she was 5 years younger.

  72. …and then Buffy staked Edward. The End.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.