Friday, August 13, 2010

Background Checks (Bonus: Foreground Check)

previous post: FANtastic Friday



  1. no3 seems like my kind of pub :P

  2. I didn’t get a lot of these.

  3. no4 seems like my kind of john.

    manageable (bitesize), submissive, moneyed (check the wrist-watch). however he needs to get some new bifocals – he mistook the subway for a public toilet. silly john!

  4. that last one made me puke a little in my mouth.

  5. #3 FTW.

  6. No4s junk is all jacked around. Bahaha

  7. WTF is wrong with the people in the first one?!
    That is the WORST baseboard work I have ever seen. It doesn’t match up at all!

  8. 1. Shotgun in the background, then what else Grooving Gorilla?
    2. Gorilla humping a monkey in the background then what else her braces?
    3. Two girls making out by the pool table in background then what else?
    4. Old guy with ridiculously tight pants in the foreground then what else?

    (“If your pants are tight enough for me to count the coins in your pocket, then you better use those coins to call a tailor”)

  9. That last one was a shocker. I stared at the pic for a while looking for what was supposed to be funny and then I shat bricks

  10. Dudeeeeeeeeeee…… just noticed no4 (gags on bacon sandwich)… Thanks a lot!!!! pish

  11. When the little kid in No1 shoots himself in the head the parents are going to be crying to the news they don’t know what they did to deserve their child dying. Seriously, people should be tested before they have children, if you can’t pass a basic safety test the state should take your damn children.

    And yes, I understand even the safest people make mistakes. This isn’t the beginning to an argument so don’t try to engage me in one.

    I really hate ignorant parents.

  12. eusadnama….. I don’t think I agree with you a little bit…. I agree with you totally! :]

    But that just could a kids toy gun… my nephew has one that looks real to such a scary amount…!

  13. @cass

    Thank you, lol. I agree it may be a toy . . . But, I have no faith in humanity. Plus, the absence of other toys anywhere in the pic leads me to believe it may not be a toy.

  14. Took me a second to notice the pants. Lordy, you think they would at least crop him out of it. He isnt even in the frame of the couple really. Lol

  15. The first one: Apparently someone took the expression “shooting the shit” a touch literal.

    The third one: Poker, pool, and girls making out – you’d think that bar would be a bit more crowded…

  16. god i really hope that is a fake gun . . .

  17. @cass

    No offence to your nephews parents intended …but extremely convincing toy firearms for toddlers is not much higher up on the bad-parenting scale in my opinion. Just sayin’.

    #4 I would call those TMI Pants.

  18. Does anyone know how to trigger a response from Dan Fargis?
    Is there a special comment, when typed it put Dan in motion?

  19. Dear lord, there is a time and a place for sweat pants like that (in # 4) and I do not believe this man has seen the memo. Anyway, I never liked sweatpants such as those for practical purposes – where do you put your wallet, keys, etc.?

    That couldn’t be Jerry Garcia reincarnated, could it?

  20. Ah parenting at it’s finest! Starting em out young on gun control.

    I love monkey sex.

    Seriously how do you not notice the child in the back playing tonsils hockey?

    Looks like Santa has a small package for you

  21. *chick in the back

    Damn you typos!

  22. The child in the back playing tonsils hockey? Hahahaha.

  23. All I see in the first one is a kid exercising his right to bare arms.

  24. Oh, and a shotgun in the background.

  25. :-)

  26. the last one made my day XD

  27. Took me a minute to figure out the last one cuz I couldn’t tear my eyes off the dude’s torso in that t-shirt.

  28. you don’t get a torso like that drinking normal heineken.

  29. Dukey, only the last one had a bonus Foreground check. The rest were just normal Background checks.

  30. I’ll be very disappointed if she doesn’t dye that hedgehog blue and name him Sonic.

    The old man is sexy……

  31. Had to read comments to get #4. Passed gay test. Whew!

  32. Ahh, the last one >.<

  33. @11
    eusadnama, the parents can use those Angel Soft toilet rolls to dry their tears. The softness will comfort them.

    For #3, the dude pointing at the other guy is asking why his buddy is pissing on the wall. Either that or he’s jerking it to those girls kissing.

  34. Groove Gorilla FTW

  35. That last one made me puke a little in Wonderbread’s mouth.

  36. What is wrong with his junk? It looks like he was born with both bits.

  37. Ew, that’s disgusting! I hate light beer.

  38. Amen, teo. Light beer is more of a travesty than Diet Cock.

  39. @vic-her-face

    In great Britain a kid running around with a toy gun that looks real is not a big issue… unlike America who’s gun laws are quite pathetic to degree that kids in America who has a toy guns is considered bad parenting skills on their elders!!!

    So vic how bout you change gun laws in your idiotic country instead of ruining fun for innocent kids!

  40. #4 – there seems to be a guy going down the stairs who may or may not have made it to the bathroom in time.

  41. The one with the gun in the background is honestly not that big of a fail. Even though we’re legally supposed to keep our guns locked up(I’m Canadian), my mom has always kept hers in the hall closet… I know that sounds redneck-ish, but seriously, if someone was to break into our house, our guns don’t do much good to us if they’re locked up. Also, it makes it easy to just grab a gun to shoot a gopher off our back deck(ah, the life of a farm kid. :D ). So, to summarize, I don’t think it’s a big deal.

  42. @Mikeymike

    That’s gross. What’d you have to do that for? Couldn’t you have puked in someone elses mouth.

  43. I quite like seeing guys with their dongs down one side of their trousers. It’s all very rock star. Bon Scott was a good example of being able to wear the cock-down-one-trouser-leg look well. There are others.

    However, #4 is not one of the better examples – too much veg, and not enough meat.

  44. word, this is how it should be done:

    reverse sleeve of ‘transformer’.

  45. Well it is an improvement on Mr Union Square Station, alord, but my mind tends to think more of people like Bon and Iggy and Mick etc.

  46. MsBuzzkillington

    I don’t get number 2 at all… sure the animals are placed kind of weird in the backround, but… I mean.. I don’t get it.

    Also, is it possible that the gun in the first one is not loaded? I mean the gun itself, sitting against the wall, doesn’t make them bad parents. We don’t even know the situation.

  47. Not that it makes a huge difference, but that’s a B.B. Gun in the first pic, according to my husband at least.

  48. This is the hubby.

    Note the notch on top, cheap bb gun loading slot.

  49. No, it doesn’t make a huge difference as to whether it’s a BB gun or not, it’s still a potentially lethal weapon when used at close range…

    And this is unrelated, but oxygen cylinders that morph into projectiles can kill as well…

    This story scares me more than any BB gun does – one of the times when oxygen can be a health hazard.

  50. Why are the guys in the doorway in no3 about to leave (or looking the other way)? Stay and watch morons :)

  51. Can someone please explain what is so lame about #2?

  52. lifelaughlovedance

    HAHA so it did get posted. @Xepher yea his name is sonic, no blue dye though, imma work on that

  53. I didn’t know it was possible to have both a camel toe and moose knuckle at the same time. Now I know. Thanks lamebook. My day was improved just a little today.

  54. Laaaame! I’ve seen worse things in Union Square.

    I can haz hedgehog? PLEEEEEEEEEEASE!

  55. Could pic #1 be a lead-in for pic #2, then you look at the chick and (my initial thought) ‘wtf is she holding?! Ooooh, a hedgehog…’

    Because me and my friends Herb and MaryJ immediately saw the banging furries.

  56. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what was wrong with #4 until I read the comments. I guess I’m just not one for checking out another guys package.

  57. The guy in the foreground of the last picture is dan_fargis.

  58. That hedgehog is so fucking cute.

  59. If the kid in the 1st one somehow accidentally shoots himself in the face, at least there is some tissue to hand to soak up and clean the resulting pool of blood.

    Angel soft is super absorbent and soaks up 30% more blood then it’s nearest competitor. One Sheet does Plenty.

  60. I just like the fact that in No. 1 the kid’s shirt says “Groovin’ Gorilla” and in No. 2 there’s a gorilla groovin’.

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