#1 – sounds like the typical grandfather-grandson relationship in a leftist socialist household. All generations living together smoking their Devil weed like some sort of pathetic hippy commune. I bet Greg’s house reeks of patchouli and body odor
#2 – sounds like Cap’n Jennifer is your typical oversexed woman who has bought into the liberal feminist agenda. The size shouldn’t matter if you are having intercourse for the purposes of procreating or if you are having “pleasure seX” with your husband, whom you supposedly love.
Approach: 4/10 – Typical tactic, but fairly effective, taking the crazy Christian conservative angle.
Delivery: 2/10 – Way too obvious. Some points to improve on are “Devil weed,” and “intercourse for the purposes of procreating.” Someone who’s frequenting this site probably wouldn’t use phrases like that. Also, not aggravating enough.
Response: 1/10 – It’s been an hour and nobody’s said anything. I’m only giving you 1 point because it’s only been an hour.
#1 – Why are you visualizing or considering the size of my genitals? I suggest you revisit Phillipians 4:8
#2 – I have a terrific sense of humor. Here’s a joke that I found on the internet years ago and had my eyes streaming with tears of laughter. I make sure to tell it to all my new students in Bible study:
A man is having a conversation with God and he asks:
Man: God, how much is a million dollars to you?
God: It is but a penny.
Man: God, how long is a million years to you?
God: It is but a second.
Man: God, could you please give me a penny?
God: Sure, just a second.
@yoink – happy birthday my uncircumcised wood handling friend, I’ve missed your playful (albeit uncouth and impure) banter. You’ve inspired a whole family of yoinks, although they all speak properly so I’m not sure where you get your interesting dialect from.
@wordpervert and yoink – who cares about the size of one’s genitals? God made us all the way we are and using arbitrary (and quite infantile) judgments of someone’s masculinity based on penis size says far more about your maturity (or lack thereof) and the sin in your heart. Perhaps if you spend less time thinking about sexual pleasure and more time thinking about Jesus and praying you would have properly developed emotions.
I love my Creator, and I love the body which he has given me.
dan yeh its wat god gav u egsept with an etra bit of skin on it that u mewtilated god jujes u based on ur penis size (or lack therof) and the sin in ur pants prehaps if u spend les time finkin bowt jesus an prayin ud get sum sexul plesur
i luv my penis an i luv the plesure wich it has given me foreskin an all
Rose, does that comboniation of prescription drugs suggest that you are a lonely house wife looking for some sexual gratification? If so, I’m at your service. We can totally Ashley Madison that shit and give Dan here a hard on at the sinful acts we could do all at once. We can even throw in some hardcore street drugs to really spice things up.
(hope I got my references right, lol, and that’s what vicodin and valium make me think of)
They’re black market, better than prescription. It’s part of the Tuesday morning party, tomorrow’s Xanax and Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill wine. I’m not a housewife at all, but if you want to join the party, bar opens at 8 am.
Laeif, you were right on in your original post.
Dan, the size of your penis might not matter to you but it does to everyone else haha.
Advising people to reread the bible to “mature their emotions” still isn’t gonna make your dick any bigger you poor schmuck.
No sense in trying to decipher the meaning of “ain’t” because it has multiple meanings. No one really knows what ain’t means until it’s said out loud in a sentence. Then we have context clues to decipher the message being spoken by the redneck. The number of times ain’t is spoken in the same run-on sentence by said redneck greatly decreases your chances of translating the message.
Ain’t is a colloquialism and a contraction originally used for “am not”, but also used for “is not”, “are not”, “has not”, or “have not” in the common vernacular. In some dialects it is also used as a contraction of “do not”, “does not”, and “did not” (e.g. I ain’t know that). The word is a perennial issue in English usage. It is a word that is widely used by many people, but its use is commonly considered to be improper.
souldancer i like in tit looooooool yeh usuly it is i duno realy i just say it a lot sumtimes it meens like int it an sumtimes it means like aint but its esier for me to rememba anit so i use it for bofe cos i get em mudled up
4inchesin4weeks i dunt get that link at al but relly cant be bovvad to reed it an na man i anit fuckin wiv peples heds iv egsplaynd a milyon times now i got used to ritin like this wiv me mates on msn how many more times do i gota egsplayn it?
Kud it b bcoz nowuns gettin ya, Fred, lyke deep doun in ya liddel hart, nowun kan relie andastannd ya? coz that kan b rewl eyesolaiting. butt doent worie, coz thairz self-help groopes for thut kainda thing. givme a kawl iff ya eva need to chat
I cant believe i just read all comments..lol i need a life
My first guess about that stoned grandpa was that he was dutch..but it is about july 4th..hmm im confused
or maby all of the penis comments got my head on a complete different track.
Well I could be wrong but….
means “anit” know why I’m pissed off. I only deal with the usual morons.
Then you asked about morons and he changed it to:
which means: not morons, you moron, More ons. I’ve got too many “ons”(?) on my arm. More than there should be
The question is, what is this mysterious “on” that he has too many of?
The first one, was submitted by the person who wrote it.
Just thought I should point that out.
That’s still a really funny situation, though, I usually catch myself staring at my screen saver for a long time, completely sober.
I think Freddie here is retarted. He should go back and take the 2 year course at the local college in yoinkinese and then try again. I haven’t seen someone destroy such a perfectly acceptable form of English so brutally.
Yoink’s last post:
fred u fink ur beein funni but ur relly not noone can evan undastand u an u fink ur takin the pis outa me wel ur not ur just makin a twatmong outa urself so id stop if i was u
Fred, I am very upset with you. You think you are being humorous, but I assure you that you are not. For one, no one can understand you. You are not stealing urine from me, if you think you are. Because you are not. You’re just making a vagina monkey out of yourself. So I would stop, if I were you.
There are no 4 inch dildos because not everyone needs a dildo to get off. Like with breast size, it’s really a matter of personal preference, which is something not enough people realise. I actually knew a girl who went home with a guy, but left without having sex with him. Her reason? His dick was too big, and she thought it would hurt, which was something of a turn off. The only reason I believe this story is because I heard it from the girl herself, who was one of my oldest friends.
ons. doze tins dat krall n haf lossa leggz n et shooga n haf nintendos on da hedz. day bot ma ahm cos ah shayv et wit wip crem. one on es kay bot more ons es bad!
Exact Translation: Ants. Those things that crawl and have lots of legs and eat sugar and have antennas on their heads. They bite my arm because I shaved it with whipped cream. One ant is okay, but more ants is bad!
haha i did something like that at the new moon one :L
Bella: “i want to come Edward”
Edward: “i dont want you to come”
Bella: “i really wanna come”
Edward: “im not going to let you come”
Bella: “im going to come”
me: *burst out laughing uncontrollably*
rest of audience: *give me evil looks*
me: give them a thumbs up*
I can understand Yoink and Fred no worries. The trick is figure out what accent they’re typing in. So ons=ants. Once you get a few sounds right, it’s simple. We should all type in accents. Who wants to do French?
And can we ask, Fred, why you shaved your arm with whipped cream? Some kinda fetish….?