Friday, August 7, 2009

Adobe Photoshot

dobe

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76 Comments

  1. Rollin’ with my Glock nine,
    Bitches better get in line,
    If you say I be usin’ Adobe,
    Fool, then you ain’t my homie.

    Straight out deep Mansheld,
    I stay strapped with my handheld,
    But if you let off a shot,
    Believe me, I won’t use Photoshop.

    Got my eagle in my waistband,
    45 in my right hand,
    You already know I got two clips,
    If not “get a test ov deez bullets.”

  2. You can’t buy guns in a shop?! What the hell… all these years I assumed that Gun Stores sold guns… boy, do I feel stupid now.

  3. @CM: It’s true. Gun shops only sell vowels, and clearly Aushok doesn’t patronize them.

  4. I read Mansfield Park last year.

    Disappointing.

  5. I think, CM, that this chap might be from Britain. You know, where we have laws preventing people from shooting each other.

  6. Only wanna-be gangsters type like that. Real gangsters have excellent grammar and punctuation. I would know.

  7. Guns don’t kill people, Aushok does.

  8. @Ben: I live in Canada where we have simliar laws but thanks for coming out. I have seen many gun stores in the USA, mind you, where I imagine Aushok resides.

  9. Everyone is missing the point here. Ol’ boy Lucian is saying this picture is shopped, as in Adobe Photoshop, while Aushok (retarded name) takes this as meaning “purchased in a store.” Aushok then proceeds to threaten Lucian with bullets all up in his grill if Lucian continues to insist that the above pictured guns were, in fact, purchased in a shop, other than a digital one owned by Adobe.

  10. @TrainReq: Way to ruin this delicious post, Captain Obvious. Nobody was missing your police flare-obvious point but you had to go and TYPE IT UP. =(

  11. how exactly does a sarcastic meow work?

  12. @sarcasticmeow: for one named after sarcasm, you certainly don’t seem to understand it. My writing style is what’s known as ‘satire.’ Maybe if you learned a bit about the English language you would realize that I was blatantly stating the obvious in order to be more sarcastic. Perhaps instead of being such a large bag of douche, read my posts more carefully, and maybe you’ll find the subtle humor in them rather than taking them for just words on the screen.

    Dick.

  13. @TrainReq: Forgive me, TrainReq overlord, for my major fail of not studying your archival oeuvre on Lamebook before daring to comment. PS: Ad-hominem attacks: FTW! Attacking the person, not the point, is the mark of a subtle mind in maaah book.

  14. @International #11: Kinda like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s13dLaTIHSg&feature=channel_page

  15. What is more pathetic than the picture by Aushok and his comment to Lucian’s comment?

    You all acting like little kids.

  16. Hey Ben, news flash: laws don’t prevent dumb-asses from shooting each other.

    BTW how’s that knife epidemic going? Stabbed much? You chaps should probably pass a law against that, it’ll clear right up.

  17. “Thicko?” I think Aushok thufferthz from a lithp.

  18. CM, maybe you’re employing some sort of subtle humor I’m not aware of, but I don’t see how you could possibly think Aushok lives in America.

  19. Does nobody else find this disturbing? Not trying to be uptight, or deny that the dude’s a moron, but we live in a violent world. I find a pic of guns along with a statement about giving someone a “taste” of the bullets, even in jest, kind of upsetting.

  20. @Elee: I’m sure you are unaware of many things… such as how there is a city called Mansfield in Ohio, USA. Therefore, I don’t see how you could possibly think it is ridiculous for me to think Aushok could be American. Hopefully that isn’t too subtle of a statement for your liking.

  21. @Rodrigo #15: Dear, you have clearly wandered onto this site in error, whilst looking for the New Yorker commenting board. Don’t panic! Just hit the “back” button on your browser, and you’ll be released back into the SANCTIMONIOUS SECTION of the InterNerd. Beijos!

  22. Haha there is no way a real human being is as lame as Aushok is here. No way.

    I’m seconding the “not in the U.S” comment: he uses words like “mate” (sort of) and “thicko”, which is obviously from Australia or something.

  23. @trainreq

    you made me giggle :)

  24. OMG WHAT A LOSER!

    I agree with Canaduck^: Only an Aussie talks and types like that. I know.

  25. @ CM: In the UK there are no Gun shops.

  26. @ CM: Another note* You can tell it’s British just by the way it’s written (I am British and am unfortunately familiar with the idiots who type and talk like that)

  27. @Lisa: I think you convinced me. The note is pure Ali G speak, now that I reflect upon it. I also choose to believe Mansfield is a minuscule, quiet, peaceful hamlet somewhere in Cumbria..

  28. Candy Blackmail

    Fake guns displayed on mom’s kitchen floor = AWESOME HARDCORZ!!1

    /sarcasm off

  29. And at that moment, Lucian realized the man he had made his mentor and teacher in the gangster world was actually an imbecile.

  30. One of those posts that makes one (Lucian) reevaluate the people he associates with.

  31. MY NAAM BE STR8 PAKI THUGGIN AND U ANGLOS BETTA STEP TO UR PASTY WOMEN B4 I SPRAY UR MOUFS WIF PURE LEAD

    CM’S A FUCKEN THICKO, WHY WOULD A PURE PAKI GANSTA LIKE ME EVEN PISS ON MERKA? REPPIN BRIGHTON WARE SAT M8

  32. mup da doo didda

    I hope that Lucian has sense enough to report this pic to local authorities, and that said local authorities have the bollocks to give Aushok at least a good scare.

  33. There is a mansfield in australia and it is full of bogans. I say australia

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bogan

  34. @”Aushok”: bahahahahahaha
    Out of the two of us, I am even more convinced that I am not the idiot here. You are, however, clearly the bigger gangster.

  35. Who would be foolish enough to post a picture like that on their facebook profile?

    Also “U WATCH IT M8″ sounds like something that a gangster on a pre-watershed crime show would say, not from the “Mansfield Massive”.

  36. @CM, actually I was aware of Mansfield, Ohio. His jargon is the dead-giveaway that he does not live in America. But I cherish your crippling condescension.

  37. U WOT M8?

    MANSFIELD AINT 2 B MOCKED

    FKN MERK USE CNTS

  38. Aw, look at the precious little foreigners thinking they’re tough.

  39. There is also a Mansfield in Massachusetts.

  40. I’d put money on this being the Mansfield in Nottinghamshire, UK.

    a) Because it’s a fucking shithole
    b) Because Nottinghamshire has had a lot of gun crime problems over the past decade or so.

  41. Lucian (yeah, I uploaded the picture)

    to clarify, both of us are from Britain. I found it utterly hilarious how badly my comment was misinterpreted by TEH MANSFIELD MASSIF

  42. Lucian (yeah, I uploaded the picture)

    @mup da doo didda

    yeah, I’m sure the internet police would have a lot to say about it.

  43. Straight outta Mansfield
    Crazy motherfucker named Aushok
    Poppin punk-ass bitches with my Glock
    They trippin cause they say it’s all photoshopped
    *BOOM BOOM* then they bodies all drop
    Spend a clip on a hater then I’m done
    Git on facebook yeah I’m the one
    That yo’ ho’ be friendin’ when she want a real playa
    Cause you ain’t got what it take ta’
    Make her scream shit an’ wake the neighbours
    She down for the weapon I wield
    An’ when I come back, bwoy
    I’m comin’ straight outta Mansfield (Mansfield, Mansfield, Mansfield..)

  44. @ Aushok

    Twunt; I didn’t think knobs came that big. Maybe you should get together with the “Kersal Massive” from Youtube. Do you realise how big a pillock you are making yourself look?

    An idea; maybe they should send all these “Massives” to somewhere like Compton, and we can see how big and hard they realy are….

  45. Excellent. And I’m assuming they’ve been arrested now? Even better!

  46. FINELY DIZ WYTE BOYZ WOKE UP TO DA REAL G IN ALL OV M&SFIELD. M8S UR 2 L8 CUZ I DID DA DIRTY WIF 5 OV UR WOMIN AT ONCE LAST NITE. REPRESENTED WITH DEEZ BULLETS AS WELL AFTERWARD. NEXT THING I WILL COME TO UZE THICKOS SHIT ON UR FLOORS BUST CAPS IN THE CEILING AND LICK YOUR FAMILYS TEARS. M8 WE PAKI GANSTAS GONNA DEMOLITION THEM BANGALLYS AND CHINKS AND WOPS B4 WE TAKE OVER NOTTINGHAMSHIRE THEN ALL OF ANGLOLAND.

    MacLUNDer NEEDS TO AJUST HISSELF FOR WHEN I GET MY NUT ALL OVER HIS PASTY WYTE FACE. COMIN SOON TO A THEATRE NEAR U BOY.

  47. It seems clear to me that this photo was Photoshopped. The shadows around the barrel of the gun look bizarre and weird as hell. Also the letters look like the guy either drew ‘em in Photoshop, or somehow scanned his own writing and pasted it onto the photo. I assume that’s why the sheet of paper looks fake as hell too. I assume that he found a photo of a gun, and decided to pretend it was his own.

    Hey Aushok, if you want to prove it’s not a fake photo, I’d love to see a photo of that same place on your floor, without the guns. Post back!

  48. why would someone photoshop that, it’s nothing amazing.. why wouldn’t it be real. Also, remember although it might seem like “ali g speak”, Ali G is a direct spoof of real actual people who act like this in England known as chavs.

  49. @darwin: he would photoshop it cause as has already been pointed out hes from England where you cant generally buy guns. Therefore hes making himself look all gangsta that hes managed to get them illegally.

  50. Mansfield, Nottinghamshire, NG19, United Kingdom.

    And it’s a PFC (plug fire cap) it’s used for mil-sim. It’s basically a bigger version of a blank firing gun, that uses reusable caps to cycle the rounds.

    Cheap and nasty, I’ve got one in the form of a mac11. You can get them from modelguns.co.uk

  51. @ Aushok

    I would dearly love for you to pop over here and show some of our Gooch and Doddington, Moss Side ‘Massives’ how you guys ‘roll’… I’d give you about 15 seconds tops.

    Last post at 12.46pm, eh? Just enough time to get back to your classes for the afternoon from the school library.

    Now please stop shouting, take your meds like a good little gangster wannabee and don’t forget to tell Mummy all about this when you get home. Oh, and to prove the spud gun isn’t a fake, show us a picture after you’ve fired it into you mouth, it’s probably the best thing you could do.

  52. ME AND MY BOYZ STILL CANT UNNERSAND WHY A PIMPLED FAT CAVE PORKER LIKE MacLUNDer WULD TRY TO HUSTLE ON DA LAME BOOK. BUT YOU IS GOING DOWN IN MAH KITAB AS A DUMASS FO SHO. QUIT YO FAKEASS TEASIPPING CRICKETPLAYING ACCENT AND GET BACK TO YO SHITTY MERKA WIF ITS SHITTY FAST FOOD UGLY GIRLZ AND CHINKS WOPS AND GREASES EVERYWHURR. AFTER YOU SEE DEM BULLETS FIRED INTO YO MUTHAS MOUF THEN YOU WILL QUIT YO BITCHEN, THERE GOES YOUR FOOD SOURCE FO THE NEXT 15 YEARS.

    HERESE SOME ADVICE YAAR, GET BENT.

  53. Normal (*rare!*)

    1) he is called manclander
    2) I can’t decide if you’re the “real slim shady” or just taking the piss. If it’s the later, you’re hilarious. If the former, you’re a *”hicko” piece of shit who makes Brits look bad.
    3) what yo wanna be poppin caps in do0d ass fo anywaze? Dat not friendliez 2yu facebox pal innit!?

  54. Normal (*rare!*)

    *latter
    *”thicko”

    Damn, and it was looking good before I posted.

  55. Normal (*rare!*)

    Also I’d like to point out that admitting he CNT BUY GUNS IN NO SHOP (double negative) he is in fact admitting that the picture is fake…

  56. but he can buy guns on the streets yo.

    but most likely not some weird looking 1911 in shop bought piccc

  57. Aushok

    You are so full of fail and shizzle I don’t know where to start. I’m sure that guys like 50 Cent are crapping themselves at the thought of you and your ’50 pence’ posse rollin’ in his back yard – not. We’ve all missed the adventures of your bro’s on the BBC News, maybe we should have read the Mansfield & Ashfield Observer to catch up on your crime wave. Tosser.

  58. Normal (*rare!*)

    Don’t be silly he wouldn’t have even made it to his school newspaper.

  59. It would help his cause and maybe his credibility no end if he could actually spell, and write in English; the likelihood of that is on a par with me winning the Lottery.

    I bet his CV is a work of art and comedy gold.

    @ Aushok

    One day you will look back on this and realise what an utter and complete tit you were making of yourself; I look forward to that day. Maybe even your kids will stumble across this and ask you to translate what you wrote.

  60. Aushok blatantly works in Carphone Warehouse or Dixons and has a very modified car

  61. make sure you get the MMR vaccine

  62. Attention People – The ‘Mansfield Massive’ is a popular inside joke at a certain anonymous imageboard.

    I can assure you, Aushok isn’t really a gang member, nor does he think that Photoshopped means “bought in a shop”.

    I’d hazard a guess that that teh above transaction was done ONLY to then take a screen and post on here.

    And yes, every user of this imageboard is laughing at you all when they reference this.

  63. M8S B3TA SUCKS DONKEY DICK.

  64. I am having the sudden urge to slap that boy with that toy he calls a gun.

  65. I would say it’s a much bigger deal for ‘gangstas’ to get hold of guns in the UK than in the US

  66. TrainReq wins the comments. And why do tha gangastas spell in ALL CAPS?

  67. Number 66:

    It’s because CAPS LOCK is cruise control for cool!

  68. Oh this can only be Mansfield in Nottinghamshire, the place to go to get shot!

  69. Hahaha i live in mansfield

  70. OH LAWD IS THAT SOME BRITFAGS LULZ
    U WOT M8

    Son I am disappointed.

    etc. /meme

  71. I live in mansfield (Notts UK) where these CRANKS claim to come from and I have done on and off for 20 years. The last shooting/gun incident was by a women with mental health problems with a pellet gun in the town centre after a drunken argument, mansfield doesn’t have or want a gun problem. Nottingham itself is pretty crazy but not here. I would suggest that this picture was put together by college kids that listen to to much gangster rap and think its cool to shoot people then spend their life in jail getting buggered and regretting it.

  72. I’m too lazy to read though all the comments (so I don’t know if anyone has mentioned this), but I think that person is saying “shopped” as in Photoshop. The text (which is kind of font like) on the paper looks like it could of been added on in photoshop. It is not talking about the guns being bought from a shop, hence why it’s funny….

  73. umm c, has anyone ever told you that jokes aren’t funny once you explain them? What’s worse is obvious jokes.

    That is all

  74. Alright, here’s what I fail to comprehend in the entire exchange.

    Number 1: Aushok has intentionally said that his grammar makes him appear to be an idiot, and that any questioning of his idiocy therefore means that he must retaliate with force – eg: “deez bulletz” which are useless in a gun which cannot fire them.

    Number 2: The fact that we are laughing over something which has no meaning other than mind-numbing comedy.

    Number 3: Why Aushok continues to attempt to make any comments at all as he has clearly won every exchange of argument simply by using capitol letters when he is speaking?

    Yeah, I think that about does it, caps lock means that you’re cool and we all should be cool.

    BRING ON THE CAPS THAT DON’T LOCK OFF IN YOUR GLOCK! lmao, I just had to say it

    And since I’m in a snarky mood tonight, Aushok, you’re an idiot. If for one moment you thought that you could even get anywhere with a gun that looked like that I would rather that you simply join the Darwin Awards.

    Please save us all the trouble of having to listen to your lunacy for a moment further, and eat doze bulletz.

    *takes a gentle bow*

  75. He must be Arab, he said ‘Kitab’. Haha, Ross Kemp should try interview the Mansfield Massive OG, reppin’ all the Notts gang bangers…

  76. Its the fucking Beatles

    Aushock you’re a cock. Pure and simple. Hopefully one day you’ll be staring down the barrel of the gun of an SO19 officer. We’ll see how quickly you shit those chav pants of yours. Fucking idiot.

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